Conner steeled himself for what he was sure would be an unpleasant confrontation. This had to be done. He knocked on the door. His father opened it and Conner tossed the word around in his mind. This was his father. For a little while now Conner had been like two people. One Conner had been a normal boy with a normal family and a good relationship with that normal family. The other Conner had been someone else. Now Conner was trying to be both of those boys, and help the father who had given him up so he could be that first boy. "Hey Dad,"

Angel grinned. "Conner, come in." He gestured for Conner to enter the room.

Conner swallowed. Was there a way to broach this topic delicately? "I need to talk to you about something." That was a good start, kind of vague, but good.

"Of course." Angel gestured to a chair and then took one himself. "Sit down." Conner was glad they were alone. He forgot who Angel was rooming with, he knew they were short on rooms at the abbey. Angel waited. "Is something wrong?" He finally prompted

There was only one way to say it. "I don't think you should be in charge anymore."

Angel took a moment to process this. "What's this about?"

"I think it's dangerous for you to be in charge. If the Wolf were to cast that spell on you again we'd all be in trouble. I think someone she can't get to should be in charge."

Angel considered this. Conner didn't look angry, he actually looked kind of nervous, this was new. "Who were you thinking of?"

Conner shrugged. "I'm not really qualified to say. I just don't think it should be you." He fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm not attacking you-"

Angel stopped Conner with an upraised hand. "No, you're right."

"I am?" Conner hadn't expected that.

"Yeah, I'll ask someone else to take over."

Conner relaxed. He hadn't realized how tense he was until the relief of his father's assurance had dissolved the tension from his body. "I'm just thinking about the group."

"Yeah," Angel said "Thank you. Conner I- I'm very proud of you."

Conner laughed, he hadn't meant to, and he knew it sounded bitter. "I haven't done much to be proud of. I was pretty hard on you, and not just before the memory spell. Although I have to take responsibility for the stuff that happened before to."

"Holtz brainwashed you." Angel said "He was your only friend in Quor'Toth and he used that to manipulate you. It's what he was good at, manipulation."

Conner nodded. "Yeah well the past is the past. I'm thinking about the future."

"And I'm thinking about making sure we all have one." Angel assured Conner "I want you to be a part of mine." Angel wondered if he was asking too much of Conner too soon.

"I want that to." Angel felt joy wash over him. "Things are confusing and I don't know a lot, but I do want that. I love my family, but I love you to."

"You do?" Angel asked "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to sound…" Angel through it all had never stopped loving Conner. Even at the bottom of the ocean he still loved him, he was pissed, but he still loved his son. Would they finally have a real healthy relationship?

"It's fine." Conner said "And yeah. I know that curse wasn't your fault. I know that most of what happened wasn't your fault. I mean some of it probably was." Angel nodded "But all in all I think you tried to be a really good dad. What you did for me… thank you."

Angel nodded, speechless. That was probably a good thing, because the moment didn't need words. The comfortable silence was enough.

Willow snuck another peek at her research partner. They hadn't spoken much and what conversation they did share was limited to speculation on the proper translation of some more complicated texts. Willow returned her focus to the book in front of her. Information on the Wolf, Ram, and Hart wasn't as hard to come by as it was to interpret. They were very old demons, as old as Illyria. They were the first disciples of evil and were cast out of this dimension at the same time as the other old ones. However unlike the other old ones they were able to see and influence events in this dimension. This should not have been possible. They now knew why, because of the connections they had left. This knowledge wouldn't do them much good if they couldn't find the third connection. It would be a creature created by the contamination of a human by the essence of a demon. Willow felt a memory tugging at her, but when she tried to grab it the memory slipped away. She sighed and shut the book in front of her.

"Something wrong?" Willow jumped at the sound of his voice.

"No," She answered "I just have this feeling like the answer should be obvious. I mean human/demon combo must be kind of conspicuous, there must be some kind of record. I feel like the answer is staring us in the face and we're just too close to see it. It's frustrating." Willow rubbed her eyes and reached for a demon encyclopedia. "I miss the internet."

"I don't think you'll find the answer in there." Wesley closed his own book, an old watcher's journal belonging to the watcher of an eighteenth century slayer.

"Where then?" Willow asked, slightly peeved

"I think you're right, I think we already know the answer." Wesley tapped his fingers on the cover of the book. "Think of this logically. Werewolves are human most of the time, but on occasion they are overcome by an inner demon. Vampires are demons with the countenance and memories of a human, but they are for the most part devoid of humanity. Neither of these creatures strike a balance. The Hart would crave a balance in her creation."

"Why?" Willow asked

"Because she knows her partners cannot achieve it. The Wolf said the Hart had a fascination with heroes. I think the Hart wanted her creation to be set apart from the efforts of the other two partners. I think she wanted something special to tie her to our realm. She would want something connected to heroics, something tainting, something perverting." Wesley shook his head. "No, not that. She likes to watch the downfall of great heroes. She doesn't want them corrupted, she wants them in pain." Wesley's tapping sped up. "There is a myth about the origin of the slayer." Willow froze, her blood turned to ice water. "It is said that the first slayer was imbued with the essence of a demon, given their strength to fight them."

"I remember." Willow said, Buffy had told her the story

"I think I might know which demon." Wesley picked up another book, stamped on the front with the likeness of a mature stag, also known as a hart.

Buffy approached the door with caution. She hoped whoever was knocking wasn't here for her. She was tired and needed to think. When she saw Angel she changed her mind, she did not want him to be here for Faith, although she would be all right if he was here to see Fred who had ended up remaining with them after the great roommate shuffle. Fred was with Lorne and Teresa right now though. Faith was on the ground doing sit-ups to try and relax.

"Buffy, good you're here." Buffy felt silly for worrying he had been here to see Faith.

"Is there something you need?" But she still didn't really feel like talking.

Angel looked into the room. "Could we go somewhere maybe, talk privately?"

Faith got up. "I just remembered I have an important engagement somewhere that's not here. Got to run guys, but try not to have too much fun without me." She left.

Buffy gestured for Angel to enter the room. They both took seats and Buffy waited for Angel to start the conversation. "You're a remarkable woman Buffy." Her heart sank, this was going to be about their relationship. She needed to put a stop to this conversation now. While she contemplated possibilities Angel went on, oblivious to her panic. "You've proven yourself to be very capable on several occasions." That was… odd. "I've been leading the crusade against Wolfram & Hart for a long time. But a good leader should be able to see when someone is more qualified than he is and cede authority as necessary." Angel sighed. "I want you to take over."

Buffy stared at Angel. This conversation had gone in an unprecedented direction and she was at a loss for how to handle this. "Angel I… What brought this on?"

Angel shifted in his seat. "I was just thinking of the curse, and the possibility of me losing control at the critical moment." He watched her, gauging her reaction. "I think these people need someone they can count on twenty-four seven. I know you can do it."

Twenty-four seven, a daunting idea. Angel said she could do it and she knew he was right, but did she want to? Did it matter what she wanted when the fate of the world hung in the balance? Buffy figured it didn't, but still, this wasn't the kind of thing one jumped into. She needed to talk to Willow and Xander. "I'll think about it." She said

"Great, just let me know." He stood up to go. "Buffy I-"

"No," She stood up as well. "I can't do this, not now. It's too much on top of everything else. I'm not going to lie Angel. I still love you, and I know you love me. But if we start talking about this now it might become something I can't handle." Buffy waited for him to react, every second an eternity, her heart pounding like waves crashing against the shore.

Angel nodded. "After then?"

Buffy nodded as well. "Until then we're just two friends fighting the good fight."

Angel could and did accept that. He left Buffy to think about what he had said.

Kate watched the wolves circle each other. She almost envied them. Their precise elegant movements were a beauty to behold. The smaller wolf, although neither could be called anything less than large, reached out with her snout to nuzzle the larger one. Kate raised an eyebrow. A crowd of wolves was on the other side of the circle, also watching, and waiting. Kate felt her body tense up in anticipation for what she was about to see. The larger wolf leapt at the smaller one, who ducked and then batted his face with her paw, claws kept away from flesh. The larger wolf placed his head under her belly and tried to flip the smaller wolf. She leaned into it and ended up back on her feet. They began to circle each other again.

"Kate," She was reluctant to leave, but also somewhat relieved. It was peaceful down here, as ridiculous as it sounded. Yes they were monsters, unwilling monsters dragged into something they hadn't wanted to be a part of. Yet watching their simple beauty made her feel calm and assured. Walking into the well-lit hall to face Conner did not.

"What is it?" She hoped she sounded kind, not annoyed. Sometimes it was hard to tell.

"I've been doing some thinking lately and I figured I owed you an apology."

Kate wasn't sure how to respond. "All right," She'd play it safe. "Thank you."

"If you're interested in my dad-Angel," He clarified "It's none of my business."

Kate gave him a genuinely warm smile, but it looked wrong on her face. Once she'd had a lovely smile, but time and many hardships had eroded her face into something a smile didn't sit well on anymore. "I'm not, but you're right and I appreciate you coming to tell me that." She wasn't sure what more there was to say and started to leave.

"Are you okay?" Conner asked "Your eyes they look…" He frowned.

Kate reached up and touched the dark circles under her eyes. The skin there felt hot and dry, more like an arid dessert than a human face. "What is it?" She asked

Conner remembered the look in her eyes. He hadn't seen much of his reflection on Quor'Toth. Yet when he had first returned to earth and was staying in the dingy motel with Holtz he had seen a real mirror for the first time. The eyes he had seen then were similar to the eyes he saw now, looking at Kate. She looked haunted, by beasts who followed her into her dreams.

"Conner?"

Conner shook his head. "You should rest. You look tired and you never know when we might have to fight again." That didn't sound comforting and Conner internally berated himself.

Yet Kate smiled anyway. "I'll rest when this is over."

Conner didn't know what to say. Telling her that could take a good long while wasn't going to help. "You can't let it consume you." Conner insisted

"It?"

"The fight," Conner elaborated "You fight well Kate, I've seen you, but you can't go on forever. None of us can. I learned that the hard way. You have to rest at some point."

Kate considered this. Once long ago she'd heard something, had it been her father that spoke the words to her she now said to Conner? "Only the dead rest."

"They don't." Conner said "I know a couple dead people and none of them rested."

Kate looked at Conner and thought of his father. She didn't love Angel, but she did care for him and she did remember their experience together fondly. Angel was very sweet for one who was forced to live such a hard life. He was gentle, gentler than many softer men who had less of an excuse for being rough or selfish. Angel was a good man and nowhere was that more apparent than in the son he loved so much. Conner had caused Angel no small amount of trouble, but through it all Angel had never stopped loving the boy. Kate admired that trait, Angel's determination to never give up on somebody. She'd seen the effect it'd had on her. Conner was beginning to resemble his father. He was troubled yet determined. She saw in him the same selfless desire to help others that Angel had. It warmed her heart to think this was the kind of trait that could rub off on people. "You're right Conner, I am tired. I'm going to go take a nap, thank you for caring." When Conner grinned and they parted ways it struck her how odd it was that someone so damaged could be so naïve. She headed in the opposite direction of her room.

"Everything we've found so far backs up your theory." Willow spoke in a monotone, her voice disconnected from her self. She couldn't process what she was saying.

"We don't have a lot to work with and some of these sources are unreliable." Wesley was trying to comfort her, but she knew these words were meaningless.

"How am I going to tell Buffy?" For over seven years slayers, both as a concept and an actuality, had informed Willow's most important decisions. Slayers had changed her and the world around her. She'd always assumed she was a better person for it. Now she knew the truth about the power that had come into her life and changed her destiny. Yes she had already known the slayer's power was demonic in origin, but she hadn't been able to put a name to that demon and she hadn't know that demon was the most powerful member of a trio working to bring about the end of the world. She hadn't known all the good they did was part of a larger sinister plan.

"It all fits together so well now." Wesley mused "I'm surprised I didn't see it before. This answers our two most pressing questions: How is the Hart connected to this realm and why did they go through with their original timeline after the circle was eliminated. The Hart must need more than one slayer alive to cross over. The activation of the slayer line was clearly orchestrated by the first, an attempt to aid his disciples. Once the slayer line was realized the senior partners couldn't alter their timeline. To do so would allow the slayers to organize, receive training, and become more powerful. If they waited too long the slayers would become a serious threat to their plans." On a level Wesley knew he wasn't being much of a comfort, but everything was clicking together in his mind. He knew this was right.

Willow, as upset as she was, also couldn't stop her mind from traveling the well-worn paths of academic query. A question occurred to her. "The shamans who created the slayer, were they evil then?" For some reason this mattered a great deal to her.

"More likely deceived," Wesley said

"Like me," Willow said bitterly "God I'm such an idiot."

"No," Wesley assured her "You did the best you could with the information available to you. The spell you performed caused a lot of good, helped a lot of people."

"And apparently set up the apocalypse." Willow felt lightheaded. "I need some air."

"You can't go outside." Wesley reminded her, but she ignored him as she headed for the hall "Willow wait!" Wesley grabbed her arm

"Get off me!" She wrenched her arm away.

"This was going to happen." Wesley said in a calm voice "This was set to happen long before you were ever born. It's good that it happened when it did so that we have a chance to stop them from finishing their plan. You're not to blame for this."

Willow laughed, shaking her head. "Who should I blame? Should I blame the stupid bitch who cast the spell that allowed an evil demon access to the world? Because that was me."

"I know how you feel." Wesley reminded her "I know what it's like to be used. I know how it feels to be pawn in some bigger game, but we're better than that. We can beat them Willow and make them sorry they used us." He moved closer to her.

She shook her head and clutched her shoulders, hugging herself. "I should never have done it. I'm not worthy of this power."

"You're the only one who is." Wesley said "Because you think that."

Willow gave him a cruel smile. "We've all heard that line a million times. This isn't a movie Wes, I'm not a noble hero. I did think I was worthy. I thought I could handle the power, but I made a mistake. The consequences of that mistake might destroy the world." Tears leaked out of her eyes. "I screwed up Wesley." She hugged herself tighter.

"And you will again."

"What?" She was stunned.

"You thought you were done, I get that. You thought you'd learned your lesson and that the screw ups were over. I can tell you right now that's never going to happen. We both messed up Willow and we're never going to stop. We have to keep going though. We have to do the best we can to do more good than harm. At the end of the day that's all we can do." Willow shook her head, looking at the floor with tear-muddled vision. "You've done so much good Willow, and the slayers you awoke have and will do more. We'll take their play and turn it back around on them. We'll make them regret thinking that could play us. We will."

"So that's it, we go on?"

"We take their clever plan and through it in their face. We show them how they made us feel when we twist their evil ends into good. We pervert their aims like they did ours."

"We fight fire with fire." Willow said and Wesley nodded an affirmation "Okay,"

'You're so smart Fred.'

'I'm not so much,'

'You are, that's why I want you to think about this.'

'I'm not really a big city kind of girl.'

'You belong at a university with the resources to nurture a brilliant mind like yours, not some local college no one twenty miles from here has ever heard of.'

'I don't need to be at one of those big universities. I'm happy here.'

'You are now, but fifteen-twenty years from now you'll look back at this amazing opportunity and kick yourself for not taking it. They're offering you a full scholarship.'

'I don't get it, why do they want me so bad?'

'Because you're special Fred, you're so smart.'

Fred Burkle, she was Fred Burkle. Fred Burkle was smart. Fred Burkle was trapped. It was so cold. The different pieces of her were crying out in pain, trying to pull together. They wanted to reconnect, be a whole again. She was frozen in a million different ice cubes in this blue winter kingdom. Sometimes it would grab a piece of her and look inside. All the pieces would shudder in pain, but none knew why. They were separate and as separates they were nothing, not a whole. She was trapped in the blue cold with no name, just a shattered soul.

"Fred," Lorne, she knew Lorne. Lorne was her friend. Lorne was sitting in front of her, talking to her. There was a woman next to him, a demon.

Fred was so scared. She was at the playground and mommy was gone. She sat down in the sand and cried. Except she wasn't sitting in the sand, she was curled up in a ball on the floor of her cave. She put a hand over her mouth so that no passer-by would hear her sobs and drag her back to slavery. Except it wasn't her hand it was his. He was chasing her down the hall inside the Hyperion. Except they weren't in the Hyperion. She was inside Wolfram & Hart and he was a vampire now. Except he wasn't a vampire. He was Wesley and she was kissing him. Except she wasn't at Wolfram & Hart she was in her room and she was dying. She was dead and there was no reality, no memories. There was only the cold that hurt and never stopped.

"Fredikins," Lorne, Lorne was her friend.

"I'm cold."

Lorne was putting a blanket over her shoulders. Was this real or a fragment? "Is that better?" She gripped the blanket. It felt real. She rubbed her thumb and pointer finger against the fabric. "Do you want another blanket?" Could she choose her answer or was this a memory?

Where were the connections? Fred could feel all the pieces, each of them. She tried to force them to come together faster. She picked one up. 'Don't come back.' She dropped it, and feared it would break, it didn't. It connected to another piece. Conner was gone. Baby Conner was gone through a portal. He couldn't be, not a portal. He must be so scared. Baby Conner was gone. Wesley was gone. Angel and Cordelia were gone. Adult Conner was here, how did he get here? He came through a portal. She came through a portal. The handsome man saved her from monsters. Except he didn't, because that didn't happen in the real world. In the real world she died. "I'm dead." 'Why can't I stay?' She had to go. "Not fair, not fair. I want to stay."

She felt hands grab her shoulders. "Shhh Fredikins, you're here now." Lorne, Lorne was her friend. He sang songs. Would Lorne sing to her? "You're here."

"Sing me a song."

In the arms of a demon she listened to angels sing.

"Buffy I'm so sorry." Willow's eyes welled up with tears. She had thought she could handle this. She had been wrong. She wanted to run away, hide her face.

Buffy sat completely still. "You're sure?" Of course they were sure, they wouldn't tell her something like this if they weren't sure.

"The slayer line is the Hart's tie to the earth." Wesley said in the gentlest possible voice

Buffy nodded. She was numb. She realized she wasn't there anymore. She was somewhere else watching Willow and Wesley tell Buffy something. Buffy heard snatches of what they said, academic explanations for something to abhorrent to think about. She heard about dimensions, ancient magics, ceremonials. All she could think was that the first had won after all. She'd fought so hard to defeat him, accomplished so much, and this had been his plan all along? She couldn't do this. She couldn't keep fighting a fight where right and wrong were so confusing. She couldn't keep going when the one thing she had never questioned was a source of good actually came from the ultimate evil. She didn't know anything anymore, couldn't be sure of anything. Buffy heard voices in the background, calling her name, but she wasn't there.

Nina stood in front of the sink basin. She turned on the water and murmured a silent thanks for the abbey's independent well. She cupped her hands, letting them fill with water. As the water slipped over the edges of her palms she pictured herself splashing the water on her face and scrubbing her pores. The water continued to run. Nina separated her hands and let the water hit the porcelain sink with a loud splash. She shut off the water. "Nina?"

She looked over at her roommate, standing in the doorway. Nina reached for a hand towel. "Sorry, I'm done." She pressed her cold fingers to her burning temples.

"No, it's not that. There's someone at the door for you."

"Oz?" Nina didn't really need to ask. Her roommate nodded and Nina headed for the open door which revealed Oz standing in the hall.

"Hey Nina," He looked almost as worn as she did.

"Hello Oz," Nina waited.

"We've been doing good work together."

Nina nodded. "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."

Oz blinked. "What?"

"I'm sorry if our professional relationship made you think that things had changed between us. I didn't intend for that to happen. I don't want to confuse you."

Oz frowned. "I just thought we were working so well together. We were like one."

Nina nodded. She wasn't going to deny that. "I'm sorry Oz. That isn't enough."

"What is?" He asked "I haven't felt this way about anyone since…" He pushed the painful memory away. "I have this monster inside me and it's a curse, but when I'm with you it isn't. When I'm with you it's just something we share, almost like a gift. You make me feel whole Nina. You make me feel alive." Oz couldn't remember the last time he'd rambled like that, it wasn't like him. "You make me feel like a different man, a better man."

"You're a good man Oz." Nina said "I just don't know if you could ever be my man."

Oz felt his heart crumpling in on itself. "You're casting me aside because of one mistake?" He stared at her incredulously. "Is that fair?"

Nina gave him a sympathetic smile. "You let me down. I'm not punishing you or trying to prove a point, but I think I have a right to choose my boyfriend using whatever criteria I see fit. I need someone I can trust completely. I just can't trust you, I'm not going to apologize for that. I'll apologize if I confused you, but I can't give you what you want and that's my right."

"Don't you feel anything for me?" Oz asked in a whisper

"It doesn't matter." Nina said

"It matters to me."

Nina shrugged. "I hope this doesn't affect the work we're doing."

"Of course not." Oz's voice was empty.

"Is there anything else?" Nina asked as kindly as she could

Oz shook his head and Nina shut the door as gently as possible. Oz stood there for a moment and didn't try to stop the flow of tears. Nina walked back into the bathroom and splashed water on her face, hiding her own tears.

Angel tried to think of the proper adjective to describe the Buffy who sat down across from him. The best he came up with was shell-shocked. "What happened?"

She shook her head. Angel sensed she needed quiet, so he gave her that. If Angel had to guess how much time passed he would say a little under an hour. "No," Was all she said

"What?" He didn't understand.

"I can't lead. I'm just as much a liability as you."

"I don't understand."

"Me either," Buffy rubbed her arm. "My whole life, my whole purpose has been a lie."

"Can I ask you something?"

Spike looked toward the sound of the voice. Kate was climbing out a window and navigating over to the section of the roof where he sat smoking. She took a seat next to him and he offered her the pack. She shook her head. "All right."

"I don't want to die." She said "Seems to me though a lot of people around here have."

"Only… yeah wow that is a lot." Spike ran through the mental list. Him, Angel, Buffy, Wesley, Fred, Harmony, and that was just the ones he knew of. Who knew what the scoobies had been up to since the last time he saw them? "Occupational hazard,"

"Most don't come back." Kate said "Cordelia, Angel had this other friend Doyle."

"I heard," Spike said "They say he was a good bloke."

"Rodney," She continued "My dad…" She felt she was getting of topic. "I don't want to die, but I don't want to come back either. No offense, but I can't picture a worse fate than being a vampire. I don't want to be a ghost. I don't want to lose my mind. If I die, I want to stay dead."

Spike nodded. "Understandable," He took a deep drag of his cigarette. "So what's the question?" He pushed the puff of white smoke from his mouth.

"How?"

Spike tilted his head quizzically. "Sorry love?"

"How do I stop myself from coming back?"

Spike shook his head. "We don't get to choose. I didn't choose this."

"You didn't know." Kate said desperately "You didn't know about this world until you were already a part of it. I know, and there has to be a way that I can find to keep out of it."

Spike shook his head. "Don't get bit, don't sign contracts with demonic law firms, and don't touch big stone sarcophaguses. That's all I got." She opened her mouth to protest and Spike remembered their other dead colleague. "Oh and don't befriend red or jump into portals."

Kate sighed and looked down at the ground. She held out her hand and Spike put a cigarette in it. She put it in her mouth and leaned toward the lighter he extended. "So it's up to fate huh?" She inhaled deeply, feeling a painful burning in her throat.

Spike shook his head. "I'm not a big fan of fate. My advice, don't die."

"All right," Kate threw the cigarette off the side of the roof. "I won't."

"You know I'm sort of running low on those." Spike complained

"Sorry, it seemed thematic."

Spike scoffed. "You're as bad as the poof."

Kate leaned against him, her head on his shoulder, golden hair draped over his chest. He sat content, looking out over the burning city, collapsing around them. They waited on this sacred island for the chance to stop ultimate evil. He decided she wasn't going to die.