I opened my eyes and I was in the hospital bed again. I sat up and yawned, stretching as much as my wounds permitted and got out of bed. I looked down. When did I change into shorts? I blushed and shook my head, no way Erwin did it. It was probably Kai again, and I was grateful either way. Pants in general irritated the slight swelling around my harness bruises. I guess when you're flung around like some rag doll, it's bound to leave marks. I took a deep breath, I would have to figure something other than a hospital room for my family to live in, since our house was destroyed. Until it can be fixed, we were homeless. I pulled away the curtain around my bed and saw Nikolaus reading a book. He looked up and smiled at me.
"You're picking which brigade to join tonight, aren't you?" I reached up and pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail, just to get it off my face. Nikolaus nodded.
"I've decided on the Scouting Legion." My heart dropped. When the hell did that change? He was all happy about joining the Garrison for the longest time, and I was looking forward to not having to worry about another sibling during the missions beyond the wall. I sighed and leaned against the wall next to him.
"What made you decide that, Niko?" I looked at him seriously, knowing I couldn't change his mind for him.
"The way you and Kai were when the wall was breached in Trost. You were completely calm. And look at what you survived!" He looked at me the way everybody looks at me or Levi, with innocent admiration and celebration of our heroism. I looked down at the ground and only nodded. "Look, sis, I know its not all fun and fame, but I want to make myself into something tougher, something stronger than I am now." I eyed him carefully and shook my head.
"Niko I won't tell you not to join, and I won't tell you that you should. Commander Erwin won't tell you, either, but I want you to think seriously about the deaths of the comrades you lost in Trost. How many friends did you lose? Hell, you almost lost me, your sister." Niko's expression turned a little sad as he thought about the corpses he had helped to clean out of the streets of Trost, and how much he was denying that I could have been dead. I nodded. "Take what you are feeling now, imagine multiplying it by a hundred and feeling it consistently."
His expression was one of despair, and I patted him on the shoulder lightly. "If you are willing to go through that to be stronger, then by all means, join the Scouting Legion." He was silent for a long time, so I got up and started to walk out of the room.
"If that's what it's really like, why do you do it, Asta?" His voice seemed serious again, and I knew he had decided for certain. I looked back at him for a moment, and I felt almost the same as I used to when I was a Cadet.
"To be strong enough to keep the ones I love safe."
The next week was generally uneventful, aside from moving to an old Scouting Legion castle and the recruits. Nikolaus, Connie, Armin, Mikasa, and the Eren kid joined our ranks, along with a few others from Nikolaus' class. For the most part, the kids just studied the formation for our new mission out beyond the wall. I fought with Erwin several times about letting me assemble a team for the mission and actually go on this one, but this time Levi backed me up.
"Captain, Commander wants you in his office." I looked up at Petra, who had a sly smile on her face. I rolled my eyes and got up from the table, which upset Armin and Connie, who spent the past hour asking me different questions about my past experience. Since Levi would never talk to them, I thought I might as well but it was starting to get a little embarrassing. As I walked past Petra in the doorway, she whispered in my ear.
"I think little Armin's got a crush going for you, Captain." I laughed a little and shook my head, going up the stairs. I knocked on the door, then walked in. Levi was in the room and Erwin was sitting at his desk.
"Captain Grimm, good. Have a seat." Erwin was formal, so it must have been about business. I sat down beside Levi and leaned back a little, grateful to sit on something other than a wood bench. "Levi's put in a request that needs to be approved by you before it can happen. Actually, he's put in two requests."
"Oh? What are they?" I looked from Erwin to Levi.
"I'm requesting Petra Ral and Erd Gin. I've been impressed by the way you've trained them and how they have developed their skills. I could use them on the Special Ops team." Oh, a compliment from Levi? I felt like he may have been intentionally stroking my ego, but at the same time he wouldn't tell me something that wasn't true just to get what he wanted. It would be a shame to lose Erd and Petra on my team, since I've already lost Kai to a promotion and Auruo, who had decided to put the request in to Levi before the last mission beyond the wall. I nodded.
"While, of course, I'll miss them. I am also happy that they have this opportunity. It's fine with me. However, you should ask them yourself." I looked over at Erwin, who was sure I would say no about Petra. I knew she admired Levi, and if she got this invitation from Levi herself, she would be delighted and I was happy for her.
"In that case, I will. Thank you, Asta." Levi walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. I got up from my seat with the intention to do the same.
"Captain Grimm, I have another matter to discuss with you." Erwin looked serious still, so I sat back down.
"What is it, sir?"
"How is the healing process, are you fit to get your gear back?" I looked at Erwin, who was concerned and conflicted. He had to be a Commander when he considered who to take and who not to take on these missions. Unnecessary casualties were something to avoid to preserve humanity, but at the same time he could not pull his personal feelings away from the matter. I sympathized, in a way, because I constantly had to do the same with my siblings, who were always in my team with the exception of Kai, who now had her own.
"The doctor expects me to have full capability for gear in a month, just in time for the mission, sir."
"Good. Then I have no choice but to tell you that you need to assemble a new team. Pick wisely, Captain." He looked upset, and I decided to screw formalities. I got up out of my seat and walked over to him, leaning over him as he sat and kissed him, and his response was the same needy and wanting feeling I got from him in the forest, before. He pulled from the kiss and looked me in the eyes as he pulled me onto his lap,. He decided to rest his head on my shoulder and bury his face in my hair. "Promise me nothing will happen to you, if you go. I can't lose you." I felt a lump in my throat, can I promise such a thing? This unbeatable and mighty Commander was breaking down in my arms, nothing more than a man needing love. Was that what this was, love?
"Erwin... I can't promise you nothing will happen to me." He looked up at me, solemn and nodded only a little. I kissed him lightly on the forehead. "But I can promise you I won't die." I have too many people needing me to live; My family, my friends, and now Erwin. The certainty in my voice was obviously enough for him, because he leaned over to my neck and started to kiss me again, but it was more intense this time. It felt like he was searching for some kind of confirmation from me, and I put up no kind of resistance. I knew where this was going and I wanted to know as much as he did. Does he love me? I loved him more than I could bear...
"Alright, let's work on your hand to hand." No one wore their uniforms today, per my request. It was all tanks, half shirts, and baggy shorts; the kind of clothes you're free to move around in. The best way to get to know which Cadets you want in your team, in my mind, is to fight them a bit. I had some senior officers, like Hanji, Levi, Mike, Erd, Petra, and Kai going around and pairing off with random Cadets. I think Levi was intentionally picking on that poor Eren kid, but I didn't say anything about it until I saw that Mikasa was going to try and kick his ass. If she could do that, I would dub her a Captain right here and now.
"Oi, Levi." I waved over at him, I knew what I was getting myself into, and literally everyone dropped what they were doing as Levi walked up to me.
"You really want to try this again? We got no where last time." His calm demeanor made all the Cadets think he was Apathetic, but I could tell he wanted a rematch. He never liked leaving it at a draw. He looked me over, the wounds at my back were healed enough to remove stitches but probably couldn't take too much, and I knew he was worried about that.
"Don't worry about it, if something happens and I can't continue, I will tell you so." I held my hands up a little in some sort of mock surrender, and he put his fists out ready to fight. From the corner of my eye I could see Erwin walking our way, and hoped that he wouldn't make a scene if I got hurt. I held my fist out, showing I was ready. We stared each other down for half a second before Levi lunged forward and aimed for my ribs. I slapped his punches away and kneed him him in the chest. He coughed a little, and I realized that I might have hit him too hard. With a quick turn, he delivered a kick to my right shoulder, sending me flying back. I landed on my hands and feet, looking up to see him run at me.
I quickly rolled to the side and swung out my foot, making him fall to the floor. There was a loud "Ooooh" from the crowd of Cadets, making me smile just a little. I was up on my feet just when Levi decided to jump up, angling his elbows so that he could get me in a headlock, which unfortunately worked. He flipped me over his shoulder and slammed me down to the ground on my back. I heard Erwin, Kai, and Petra yell out for me. The fall was enough to get my back to erupt in pain, but at this point I was getting a little angry so I decided not to give up. I got up to my feet and took advantage of Levi hesitating, grabbing him arm, pushing him onto his back and gripping his arm into a lock. I heard someone mention blood in the crowd. Crap, was I bleeding again? Levi couldn't get out of the lock, and decided to tap out. I let him go and got to my feet, offering my hand to help him up.
When he got to his feet, he rubbed his shoulder. "Maybe I shouldn't have spent so much time sparring with you when you were a Cadet." I smiled. That was just Levi's way of telling you he was proud of you.
"Thanks for not going easy on me, Levi"
"Never." If Levi could smile, he would be now. I looked at all the awed faces of the Cadets and laughed a little. Before I could continue with training, Erwin yelled.
"Captain Grimm!" My heart dropped, he was furious! When he walked up to me, the Cadets and I saluted him. "Just because you got your stitches out, doesn't mean you can be reckless. You could get hurt again and endanger our next mission!" Was he really yelling at me? The only thing that got hurt was my hand, and it was the one I landed on a little rock when Levi slammed me down. There was nothing serious about a scrape on your hand, and I was starting to get pissed off that he was yelling at me, especially in front of the Cadets.
"There is nothing a cut on the hand could endanger in our mission, sir!" There was a gasp from behind me, and I glared up at him, hoping he would get the idea that we should talk about this later. It took him a minute, but thank the cosmic power, he got it. In fact, he looked nearly embarassed of himself.
"Very well Captain. Carry on." He walked away, nearly speed walking back inside, and I'm assuming, in his office. I sighed and looked at the Cadets, who probably didn't know what to think about what had just happened.
"Alright guys, that's it for the day. We'll pick it back up tomorrow." I let down my ponytail and ran my fingers through my hair, everyone left except for Kai and Hanji, who walked up to me.
"Oi, Hanji, you've known him longer. What did I do wrong?" I looked over at her and she just shrugged.
"As far as I know, you were doing what you normally do when we get Cadets. Except this time you actually got the better of Levi." We both laughed a little.
"Only because he hesitated when I landed on my back." I looked over at Kai, who seemed distracted by one of the Cadets. "What's his name, Kai?"
"Jean Ki- wait, who?" She blushed a little and Hanji and I stared at her in disbelief. Then we started laughing hysterically, linking hands and dancing around her.
"Kai's got a crush, Kai's got a crush!"
"Stop it, not funny guys!" Kai smiled in spite of what she said, throwing her hands up in frustration and walking off. Hanji looked at me.
"Alright, what's so secret that you didn't want Kai to hear?" I raised an eyebrow. Damn, Hanji knows me well. I sighed, and blushed a little remembering the event. Hanji caught on without me saying a thing.
"You didn't! With the Com... You dirty girl!" Hanji gave me a hug, then got nose to nose with me with this weird look on her face. "Was he b-"
"Don't ask me that, I won't answer."
"You wouldn't even know!"
"Then why did you ask?"
"Alright, Asta, I won't ask anything else. But if you need anything just lemme know." She looked at my tummy. I put my hands over it, and looked at her surprised.
"No way!"
"It could happen~!" Hanji skipped off and I rubbed my temples. That woman is an odd one. I looked up at the window into the Commander's office and saw Erwin looking at me. It was probably a good idea to talk about what just
happened...
