Tess's POV

We arrive at the Java Bean Café at seven fifty-eight for the poetry slam. I have no idea what made Matt think of coming to a poetry slam. Just another thing for the MSBL? Maybe he desperately wants to hear "words of wisdom"? Or maybe he wants to see random people see him as another random person?

There are so many possibilities.

I'm wearing jean shorts and a cute ruffled tank top. I still have to make an effort to make my identity unknown, so I'm wearing my hair in a ponytail. Matt makes it look so easy to fit in. He's wearing khaki shorts and a button down, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He refuses to admit it, but he's so preppy.

Matt leads me inside the dim Café. The smell of coffee lingers in the air like petrichor. They sell baked goods too, and fragrances of sweet tarts and chocolate chip cookies seep through the scent of coffee like crepuscular rays.

I inhale it all, wanting to commit it to memory.

"You hungry, love?" Matt asks, smiling as we walk to the counter.

"It smells amazing," I say. "You can't deny it."

"I'll have a decaf Americano please," he tells the barista. "And a Chai Tea Latte for the lady."

The barista nods and gets to work with our drinks after Matt pays. I turn to Matt. "How'd you—?"

"I know you don't like drinking coffee at night," he says, as if he just said something as basic as one plus one equals two.

I smile, and I think of how well he knows me. It's almost like we share a mind; my thoughts are open to him and vice versa.

Matt grins at me. "Why are you staring? Do I have a nose hair sticking out or something?" He makes a big show of flaring his nostrils.

I laugh. "No, I'm just thinking about how lucky I am."

He rolls his eyes, and I know he's going to pretend he doesn't know what I'm talking about when it's actually the opposite. "Tess, it's just coffee."

It's my turn to roll my eyes, and while waiting for our beverages, a person says on the mic, "Welcome to our weekly poetry slam! Thanks so much for coming out to see all of these amazing people. Our first poet is a man who calls himself Anonymously Anonymous."

"Ugh, Michael would hate that name," Matt says, getting our drinks from the counter. He gives me my latte, and I love how it's warm but not too much so that it burns my tongue. Of course, Matthew's is piping hot, just how he likes it.

"Why would Michael hate it?" I ask. We find a comfortable leather couch, and I pull my feet up.

"He hates redundancies."

I laugh, glad that we can talk about Michael without a twinge of longing and sadness.

Then someone says, "Matt!"

It's not a voice I recognize. And if I've heard it before, I'm sure I would know who it is. It's not an easily forgettable voice. It's a girl's voice for sure, but there's something characteristic about it. It's like there's a little spring when she says a word, like her voice is dancing.

Matt stands and turns around, a smile breaking on his face. "Hey," he says, greeting this girl I do not know.

I stand as well, and I see a girl that's probably our age. There's a taller boy a little behind her, his arms crossed in an effort to look cool. The girl looks to be five feet and nine inches, if you take away her two-inch heeled boots. I don't think I've ever felt short next to a girl. She wears a flowing teal skirt that's shorter in the front than it is in the back. Her shirt is cream-colored and lacy, and I feel weird for not dressing up more.

Her blond hair seems radiant, even in the dim lighting. It falls around her bright, freckled face. Her blue eyes spotted with splatters of brown are luminous and crinkled at the edges from smiling.

She gives Matt a quick hug, but for some reason it doesn't bother me. Why doesn't it bother me? Am I just not attracted to Matthew enough anymore? I take one look at him, and I think No, that's not it. Do I just not get jealous anymore because I'm so secure about my standing with him?

"So glad you could come!" the girl says brightly. She turns to me next, and I immediately smile from seeing her grin. "Hey, I'm Juno Gemini," she says, giving me a hug too. "You must be Matt's girlfriend."

I nod, still smiling, even though I'm more than his girlfriend. "That's right. Where did you meet him?"

"Oh, I met him at—"

"A diner when I went driving around last night," Matt says quickly.

Juno frowns, a confused smile spreading on her face. "Um, sorry, Matt, but I don't believe in hiding things from your significant other." She turns to me. "I met Matt at cardiac support group yesterday."

I turn to Matt, frowning. "Support group, huh?" I never wanted to dislike her, to start with, but now that I know she's like Matt in this sense, I don't want to dislike her at all.

Matt looks at her with a resigned expression. The guy behind Juno says quietly to her, "Babe, I'm gonna get us our coffees. Today's Saturday so you want a cappuccino right?"

"Babe, you know me so well," she says, smiling at him. "Wait, let me introduce you first." She grabs the sleeve of his leather jacket. "Guys, this is Owen, my boyfriend."

Owen nods, a slight smile on his face, and shakes Matt's and my hands. He kisses the top of Juno's head and goes to order their drinks.

Juno walks to the leather couch where Matt and I were sitting a few moments ago, and she sits, pulling her feet up like I do. "So how long have you guys been together?" she asks, gesturing between Matt and me. Matt and I sit down, he in the middle.

"Um, ten months, I think?" Matt says.

"That's awesome," Juno says genuinely.

"How long have you been with Owen?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Five years, I think. No big deal."

A feeling almost like jealousy surrounds me like a shroud. I wish Matt and I had more time. I wish I knew him sooner, earlier. I take a sip of my tea latte, both of my hands around the cup.

"Congrats!" Juno says. "I didn't know you two were getting married."

I look at my finger, as if I didn't know the ring was there, and Juno waves her hand. "I get it, what with Matt's condition and all. Owen and I were thinking about the same thing, but I thought 'Hell, it's pointless when I have a year left.' I couldn't do that to Owen."

"So you two met at support group?" I ask, trying to mask my sadness.

"Yeah, I'm assuming Matt didn't tell anyone." Juno looks at Owen, who has their drinks in hand, and she stands. "I'll be back."

Matt seems to be lost in his head, no doubt thinking about what Juno said. "Hey," I say, putting my hand on his. His conflicted blue eyes turn to me for a millisecond, then he stands and reaches a hand out for my empty cup. I give it to him, because I really don't want to argue.

He sits down next to me, closer this time to make room for Juno and Owen. He wordlessly puts an arm around me, and I cuddle his warm body. "Time seems to be the real enemy," he mumbles.

"And our next poet," the announcer says for the ongoing poetry slam, "our Saturday night regular, Juno Gemini."

I look up at Matt. "Gemini?" I ask.

He nods. "Yeah, my doctor's daughter."

It makes sense all of a sudden, why that man treats people with heart problems. He doesn't want any parent to go through what he has to.

Juno's smile is still luminescent as she grabs the mic. "I call this one 'Substantial.'" She inhales and exhales twice; a ritual, I'm guessing.

"Stars dance. Pain is felt. I'm still okay. Can't you tell? I see the results. What the hell? One more year, you say. I can't live this way. Trees sway. Grass grows. Time slows. People come and go. But I'm being irrational. There is nothing to live for, nothing Substantial."

It's short but meaningful, and I wonder if people know what she's talking about. Juno does a little curtsy, and I start to clap when the fellow poetry slammers snap their fingers. Matt laughs at me, and I laugh at myself for being so clueless.

"It's poetry, love," he says.

I roll my eyes, yet I feel a small smile on my lips. I expected this girl to love parties and clubs and things like that. Not poetry slams. But poetry must be her own catharsis, while Matt's is music.

Juno joins Owen, Matt, and me again. "That was so good," I say.

She shrugs, but she smiles appreciatively. She sits on the couch and says, "I'm so happy that there isn't a curfew anymore."

I smile, feeling lucky that I know the people that put that rule into place. "Yeah, the king and queen are pretty cool with that," I say, and Matt squeezes my hand.

"I mean, we get to go to night clubs and parties now," she says. Her eyes widen and brighten even more. "Hey, my friend is throwing a rager."

I frown. "A rager?"

"Yeah, you know, a wild party," Juno says. "There'll be alcohol, but you and I can drink carbonated apple juice right? It'll be fun."

Owen says, "Babe, is it at Gia's house?"

Juno nods. "So, what? You two coming or not?"

I'm so sure I can see in Matt's eyes that he's mentally putting this in his MSBL. I feel like I owe more to him.

So I say, "Yeah, sure, let's go."


Tess's POV

The house party is a stark difference from the Café. It smelled like java beans there, while it smells like cheap booze and sweat here. The bass is pumping loud, and the only similarity I can find is the dim ambiance.

People greet Juno with smiles and hugs, and a dull thought strikes me—she's popular. She gets lost in the crowd, and Matt and I are left to fend for ourselves in the sea of people.

"So what was that about carbonated apple juice?" I ask him.

He looks distracted, and almost bewildered. "She knows my alcohol struggles," he says dully.

It disheartens me to know that another girl understands him in ways that I can't.

"Hey, cool necklace," a girl says, pointing at my collarbone.

I instinctively touch it. "Thanks," I say, and I tuck it under my shirt.

I feel uncomfortable with this many people surrounding us. I feel like I'm underwater and smothered in algae and seaweed. People are drinking, kissing, dancing. It's insanity and chaos under a roof. I cling to Matt like a burr, and he reassuringly squeezes my hand. I love that he knows when I'm feeling uneasy.

We find Juno talking to a group of girls, and Matt says, "Hey, we're going to be heading home."

Juno salutes to us, and Matt and I leave.

We're on the road, and I can tell Matt's distracted. "What is it?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Just thinking."

"Do you want to elaborate?"

He doesn't say anything for a while. "This might be a weird topic, but do you really want children?"

It is a strange question, but I take it to heart. "Of course, Matthew," I say intently, looking at the way the lights from other cars cling to his cheekbones like dewdrops. "I love you."

"I love you too," he says, but it's odd, the way he says it. It's...halfhearted, and that's very unlike him. "It's just...our kids could get this disease. And we would be the ones suffering."

"But if we're ever going to rule this country, heirs will be required of us."

He nods sullenly, then he smiles impishly. I don't want to let him change the topic so easily into a joke, but I let him. "Is this your sad excuse to want to make love to me?" he asks, going up the driveway to the palace.

I bark a laugh. "You're so full of yourself."

"You just want to sleep with all this goodness," he says, wiggling his eyebrows and turning off the engine.

I roll my eyes, but the mere thought of doing "it" makes my face heat up, like someone has put a candle near my face. Matt goes to my door and opens it for me.

He smirks. "You're blushing."

"It's summer," I say pathetically. "It's hot."

When I step out of the car, he tosses me over his shoulder like a rag doll. I yelp and squeal. "Matthew!"


Matthew's POV

All day, I've been thinking that something's going to happen tomorrow at the wedding. It's a weird hunch that sticks in my mind like permanent glue. I can't stop thinking about it. Usually my thoughts would be on how pretty Tess is or how soon I'm going to die, but the strange premonition occupies my mind. I was so distracted a while ago that I didn't even know I was following Owen's car to the party. Why the hell would I go otherwise?

I need a distraction. I hate to be using Tess as a distraction again, but nothing holds my attention like she does.

We're on my bed now after I hauled her from the driveway and told my parents we're home. She lies beneath me, running her fingers through my hair. It sends a quiver down my spine, and I kiss a soft spot below her ear. Her gentle exhale sinks me into a deeper daze. She pulls my lips back to hers. Her mouth on mine is like a drug that I can't stop taking over and over again. She faintly tastes like tea and sugar. The scent that clings to her is sweet and fresh, like a crisp winter breeze.

Why are we kissing again? Oh, yeah, the wedding tomorrow. What's happening at the wedding?

I turn off my thoughts like a light.

Tess's hands slip under the hem of my shirt, touching my scars. They're more soothing than any medication I've ever used. Her fingers press on my shoulder blade, and I nearly shudder. I run my hand up and down her thigh, liking the way goosebumps meet my palm. My other hand is buried deep in her soft wavy hair.

I paint pictures on her neck with my lips, and she whispers my name like a plea. She frantically takes off my shirt, and I toss it on the floor. She runs her hands up and down my chest, the fingers of her right hand lingering over my pacemaker. She pulls me down a little to give a delicate kiss on my newest scar.

She looks in my eyes for a moment, hers being so dark that I can see my reflection in them. Her eyes have always had a metaphoric meaning to me. I see myself in them, because she reflects me and understands me in ways nobody can.

"I love you, you know," she whispers. I brush my lips against hers, and I can feel the slightest tremor.

"I'll never get tired of hearing that," I reply. The tips of my fingers touch the small sliver of skin her shirt reveals. She's so delicate, yet so strong.

But still, I wonder whether or not she is strong enough to handle my death.


So, uh, something's going to happen at the wedding.

And I wanted to write this Messy scene from Matt's POV because I feel like I've never done that. So, yeah.

QOTD: If Matthew lives long enough to reach his wedding night, whose POV do you want it to be for "that" scene where they're doing "it"? I mean, I really don't care whose POV it is, and Matt's probably going to die before that, but I'm still curious as to what your opinion is.

Answer to previous QOTD: I think my favorite fast food is the Doritos Tacos at Taco Bell. They're so damn good. My favorite "fancy" food is filet mignon. Mmm. I also really love meatloaf and goetta. Mmm goetta.

Thanks for the reviews!

LittleMissTori- Well, Tess found out :) And she's not mad. The mention of Chinese food made me think of fried rice :P Ikr! Why can't I get a private Skype call?! Lol thanks so much!

Kiren- I'm not that into fast food myself. The mere thought of McDonald's makes me want to throw up, but when my family goes there, I get the Southern Style chicken sandwich because it only has 230 calories :) And I ship Shansel. Sooo much. Also I like Shailene and Miles. They're so cool. Just as friends, though, like Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson, if you get what I mean. Thanks so much!

Prnamber3909- Haha Juno's my soul sister :P Thanks so much!

Athenachild101- Mmm chocolate cheesecake. That sounds sooo good right now. Thanks so much!

bubble4life- Oh, Mexican food :P Yeah, I like Doritos Tacos if you didn't see above :P Thanks so much!

ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Haha what a weird coincidence. Yeah, I might just end up using a map :/ Hahahaha I love cussing too :P It just makes me feel so alive! :P And nah, you're not being weird. Thank you so much!

dakotamo- Ooh Wendy's. I'm suddenly in the mood :P OMG I love Olive Garden and Carrabba's. I literally had Olive Garden for lunch yesterday. And I love Juno too! :P Thanks so much!

selectionprincess59- I'll give it a read when I have time :) Thanks for reviewing!

LovableL101- I like sushi :) And yeah, I'm glad Matty boy is spending time with "his people". Thanks so much!

Guest- I love Subway. I'm obsessed with it. Thanks for reviewing!

PokemonLuver151- Haha chicken. What a classic. Not obsessed at all? Please tell me you're being sarcastic! Haha I'm such a Potterhead. Thanks so much!

TooTiredToType/GloryToTheWind- New reviewer! Aw thanks for writing three reviews and following/favoriting (I didn't which one you did)! And yep, I wrote that song. Awful, yeah? It has its own melodies and stuff and every song thing I put here is legit from my own mind :P Thank you so much!

winterprincess- Tess found out after a day :P Oooh scallops are verrry fancy :) I love them so much. Ooh romance you say? I might have to give this series a read ;) Thanks so much!

fantasybookgirl- I love chocolate. It's, like, a fetish. #chocolatefetish should be a thing :) I think #coffeefetish is a thing. I totally have that. Yup. I love food. Deal with it. I'm glad you liked that chapter! Thanks so much!

lilythemermaid- Juno is the part of me I can't be at home. Can't party, say bad words, yeeeah. Glad you love her, though! Thank you so much! LALOL

Guest/WinteryRose- Hahaha "Juno kisses me one last time, and I die. Bye, Tess *evil smile*" That's the mother of all plot twists :P Not really. I might have more coming up :) I literally had Olive Garden yesterday for lunch haha. Thanks so much!

SelectionLoverForever- Haha ugh McDonald's. The mere thought of it almost makes me shudder. I get their Southern Style chicken because it has 230 calories :D Yeah, the wedding talk might come soon. Haha "off with his head" Marie Antoinette style. Hehe that's funny cuz Alex is French :P BRING OUT THE GUILLOTINE! Lol thank you so much!

SJWrites2014- Hahaha they're still really clever, though. Thank you so much!

ilona18- Ugh Juno from Heroes of Olympus. Don't get me started. *whispers behind hand* What a bitch. Thank you so much!

Love ya!- AcademicGirl