Vestara woke up abruptly and sat up on the cot that she was just sleeping on. She found herself in a dark, featureless cell, no doubt the Faux Harla's brig, she thought.
The next thing she knew, she felt the Force again.
Vestara didn't know how this was possible; she doubted that it had worn off. And even if it did, she had a hard time believing that Jagged Fel would be stupid enough not to give her another dose of that Force-suppression drug before he left her in here. But that didn't really matter now. What mattered was that she could use her abilities to blast her way out of here so she could warn the Fels about-
Plinkett.
Vestara felt his presence behind her, at the head of the cot. She twisted slightly in her spot to take him on - even if it would be a futile gesture - but found that he wasn't there. Instead, laying on the ground where he would have been was a silver platter with several bits of some kind of toasted foodstuffs. A little behind the platter was a box in Auremish that displayed an image of the foodstuffs, with the prominent label saying, PIZZA ROLLS.
Curious, Vestara reached out and picked up the box to find a piece of flimsiplast in it. She took it out and it read,
Enjoy these while you can, Raine. They will be your last meal ever.
P.S. This is Harry S. Plinkett, in case you didn't get that.
P.S.S. I made these myself, so you better enjoy them!
Vestara dropped the note and the box and used the Force to send an invisible wave of energy for the cell door, blowing it out from its hinges. She followed suit to head for the Faux Harla's docking bay, where she felt Jaina and Jag.
.
Aboard one of the many Skipray Blastboats piloted by members of the Jedi Order throughout the galaxy, Ben Skywalker dropped this one out of hyperspace for a minor course correction.
Next to him, his copilot and fellow Jedi Knight Tahiri Veila suddenly seized up in her seat. Her teeth ground in agony as she groaned painfully as she nearly doubled over in her chair, her descent to the floor being halted by her seat's safety harness.
"Tahiri, what's wrong?" Ben asked as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
His eyes widened and his mouth dropped in shock when he saw what was happening to the left half of Tahiri's body. It was now melting into some kind of goo, and her Jedi robes melted with her to form into a multicolored ball that ripped away from the remaining half of her body. The multicolored goo then rocketed out through the bulkhead directly away from Ben, phasing through it like it was nothing.
Ben was now left stunned and speechless over both Tahiri's death and what happened to the cause of it.
.
Just as the Nubian fighter that had C-3PO attached beneath it landed on the deck of the Faux Harla's docking bay, Jaina, who witnessed the fighter's landing with Jag at her side, felt Vestara use the Force. The Sith's presence was now heading in their direction.
Jaina turned to her husband. "Didn't you give Khai more Force-suppressant when you brought her to the brig?"
Jag looked at her in confusion. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I..." His eyes widened in realization. "She's out and with the Force," he concluded soberly.
"And headed our way," Jaina said as she unhooked her lightsaber from her belt. "You see to our guest, I'll see to Khai."
Jag nodded before his wife headed for the bay's exit to meet the Sith and neutralize her permanently this time.
At that point, the canopy to the Nubian starfighter popped open, and an aged male Gungun jumped out of it to land swiftly on the deck in an able crouch. He stood up, facing Jag, and asked, "Whatta is she doing?" He was pointing to Jaina.
"Stopping a prisoner from trying to kill us," Jag answered.
"Um, excuse me, can someone get me down?" C-3PO asked, still attached to the Nubian's underside.
"Master Fel, wait!" the Gungun called out.
Jaina stopped in her tracks and turned. "What?" she asked.
Simultaneously, just as Jaina felt Vestara enter the docking bay behind her, the Jedi Master's eyes locked onto the Gungun's.
It was this moment that signified Plinkett's full return.
Jaina seized up upon looking into Jar Jar Binks's eyes and Jag ran over to try to do something for her while worriedly calling out her name along the way.
"No," Vestara muttered to herself in despair.
The left half of Jaina's body, along with that half of her robes, melted away into a multicolored goo while the other half of Jaina's corpse collapsed against the deck.
.
"That's our cue," Laiko said as she, Space Cop, Taggert, and Fuckbot watched the multicolored goo shoot out of hyperspace and head for the Faux Harla. "Space Cop, go!"
Space Cop then pressed his foot on the pedal and zoomed the carship for the Harla's entrance to its docking bay.
The carship landed without incident next to the Nubian starfighter without any attention as the multicolored goo from space phased through the bulkhead ahead to merge with the goo already in the bay.
"Quickly, grab your proton packs from Fuckbot and shoot that fucking thing before he fully transforms!" Laiko exclaimed as she opened up Fuckbot's chest to take out a weapon that looked like a hose attached to a metal backpack.
Space Cop, Taggert, and Fuckbot followed suit, with Fuckbot being the last to take a proton pack from his chest, before they all exited the carship to stand in a horizontal line facing the forming multicolored goo.
"Careful with these things, guys, it took me a while to shit these things out!" Taggert proclaimed as they formed the line.
Once they were in that line, Laiko said, "Now, remember, guys, this is the only moment where we can cross the streams without wiping out all life in this reality, so let's not waste-"
"Hold on, hold on, hold on," Space Cop said, "I am not going to do this unless we play the theme."
"Space Cop, we don't have time for this!" Taggert told him.
"There's always time for the music that this moment deserves," Space Cop said.
"Fine, Fuckbot, play it," Taggert told the robot hurriedly.
Fuckbot nodded and used one of his hands to bop the top of his head, and then the music that Space Cop thought that this moment deserved began playing.
"Imma be, Imma be, Imma Imma Imma be, Imma bebebe, Imma Imma be..."
"You anticipated this moment, didn't you?" Taggert asked Space Cop in anger.
"Swapped out the Ghostbusters theme for Imma be by the Black Eyed Peas while you were all sleeping," Space Cop said with smugness. "Now let's do this!"
They all turned and fired their proton packs for the multicolored goo, crossing the streams in the process.
But it was too late. The goo had fully transformed into the horrifying figure that it was meant to create, and the streams fired toward it fizzled out when they came into the figure's field.
Then everyone the Faux Harla's landing bay beheld that the terror that was...
Mr. Harry S. Plinkett.
"At last, I am free from just appearing sporadically here and there!" Plinkett declared from his wheelchair.
Fuckbot, by then, turned off Imma Be.
"Now I can wreck complete havoc upon all of reality, because..." Plinkett trailed off awkwardly. "Um... Ah, fuck it, we've been building to this, so here we go." He then reached out from beneath his chair to pull outthree DVDs.
They were Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones, and Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.
"With these movies, I shall transform their badness into an energy source powerful enough to destroy this entire reality!" Plinkett stated to no one in particular.
"Not while I'm here, Plinkett!" Laiko said in a voice that was completely unlike the voice she had been speaking in previously.
"What?" Plinkett asked.
Laiko then reached up to her face and pulled it off to reveal not denuded skin, but that of a light-skinned woman with close-cropped brown hair.
"I let you live last time because of you gave me the confidence I needed to go on in life," the woman disguised as Laiko said. "But now, you must be stopped for good this time."
"Nadine, you ungrateful bitch!" Plinkett growled. "I'll show you for saving me from Hell after George Lucas unplugged my life-support!"
Plinkett's wheelchair then transformed into a giant floating machine gun that he now floated on, and it immediately began firing for Nadine. But the latter was already firing her proton pack to disintegrate all of the incoming bullets before her.
.
"This is your moment, Jar Jar."
Jar Jar heard Waru's familiar booming voice in his head as he watched the standoff between this Plinkett and this Nadine, and he turned to find the honeycomb-like alien standing there before him.
"You must now fulfill your destiny and destroy Harry S. Plinkett once and for all," Waru continued.
"But how can Issa do dat?" Jar Jar asked. "I cannotta kill dissa Plinkett! He is beyond even my-"
"Jar Jar," Waru interrupted. "You can do this."
"But how?" Jar Jar mewed.
Instead of responding, Waru just disappeared again.
Jar Jar didn't waste words trying to call the being back. He just turned back and looked at Plinkett, who was still firing bullets for Nadine.
Narrowing his eyes, the Gungun knew what he had to do.
He broke into a sprint and rocketed for Plinkett, tackling him off of his floating machine gun and plowing him against the deck. The gun stopped firing and clattered to the deck along with its previous owner and his attacker.
But as soon as Plinkett hit the deck on his back, his wrists now bound by Jar Jar's grip on them, he growled, "Jar Jar Binks."
"Issa here to destroy youa, Plinketta," Jar Jar said.
"If your plan was to use Qui-Gon the ysalamari on me, you may wanna look over there," Plinkett said nonchalantly.
Jar Jar looked off to his right, as Plinkett indicated, and found a dead ysalamari with its neck broken.
The Gungun looked back in shock at the human-like being beneath him. "But how youssa-"
"I am too powerful, but more importantly too awesome, to be perished by an animal that's named after a guy whose name is both after an alcohol and who let you live from puunishment," Plinkett replied in a mocking tone. "And it's gin, in case you didn't get that alcohol reference," he added awkwardly.
Plinkett then opened his fists and flashes of dark energy flew from his palms, blasting Jar Jar straight for the ceiling of the docking bay.
But halfway to the ceiling, Jar Jar stopped and just floated there. Plinkett looked back in wonder as the Gungun was suddenly transforming into something dark yet luminous. After a moment, the Gungun completely transformed into a dark energy vortex that everyone still in the docking bay, including Plinkett, were completely astonished by.
Then a being as dark and powerful as Plinkett descended from the vortex. After the new figure arrived, the vortex closed above him, and he landed on his feet from a slow, light descent to face Plinkett, who was now back on his feet in spite of the fact that he needed a wheelchair.
"No way," Jag said as he looked at the new arrival.
"It can't be," Vestara said.
"But it is," Nadine said.
Taggert and Fuckbot looked at each other awkwardly. "You got anything to say?" the gorilla man asked.
"Nope," Fuckbot said. "But maybe Space Cop will- Never mind."
Space Cop had already ceased to give a shit, and he was now watching hentai on his iPhone with small earphones blocking out the grotesquely sensual sounds that he was now listening to. But once he saw Taggert and Fuckbot looking at him, he quickly turned off his phone and ripped the earphones off with mild embarrassment before looking over to the main event.
"Oh, no!" Space Cop said with false sincerity as he clapped his hands to his cheeks. "It's-"
"WHEN IS THE NEXT REVIEW, PLINKETT?!" Palpatine shouted at the only other being as powerful as him.
"STOP SHOUTING AT ME!" Plinkett yelled as he covered his ears with his hands.
"WE WANT IT NOOOWWW!" Palpatine emphasized.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FAAACCCE?!" Plinkett shouted.
"What's wrong with my face?!" Palpatine retorted. "What's wrong with your face?!"
"Look, Palpy, baby, you know by now that my reviews are an annual thing!" Plinkett told him.
"Fuck you, we should be getting a review from you every week, you hack fraud!" Palpatine complained. "You owe the Council of Evil- I mean, the Internet that when you started doing these reviews! I mean, do you really expect those other hack frauds, Mike and Jay, to fill in for you on Half in the Bag, Best of the Worst, and now the latest show, Quick Cuts, while you get to fuck your cat for the eleven months you're gone?! We deserve more content from you because we suck your proverbial dick every chance we get!"
"You can suck my literal dick all you want, the reviews are still gonna be annual, you leather-skinned old fuck!" Plinkett countered. "So go tell that to your Council of Evil, tell 'em they're gonna need a Swiffer Air Jet to suck my cock, and fuck off!"
"Oh, no!" Palpatine exclaimed. "First off, what do you mean I'm old? We're the same age, we went to the same high school! And secondly, I will not fuck off until you give us another hate-filled review of a popular blockbuster movie that the good people on the Internet like to bitch about! Your Titanic review sucked my balls, and not in the good way that Nadine over there once gave to me."
"It's true," she whispered to Taggert. "I thought I could go back to school, but I needed the money, so, you know, he's the Emperor of his galaxy, so he's rich enough to..."
"Well, excuse me for making a review of a movie that I at least half-love!" Plinkett said.
"I will never excuse you until you make a review of either the Matrix sequels or Prometheus!" Palpatine said.
"Didn't you see the Half in the Bag review of Prometheus?" Plinkett asked. "It's not that bad!"
"Fuck you, it's shit!" Palpatine said. "Everything about that movie is shit, especially Michael Fassbender as David! He was so bad, I thought he was playing a robot through the whole movie!"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Plinkett retorted.
"Plinkett," Palpatine growled, "this is serious! We are talking about the satisfaction of every fan of Red Letter Media, who must have seventy-minute reviews of movies that we fucking despise with a passion every single day!"
"I thought you said every single week," Plinkett said.
"Fuck you, it's day now!" Palpatine said.
"No, fuck you, because that's what I'm gonna be doing until you die, you curmudgeonly asshole," Plinkett said as he started walking toward Palpatine. "So get that curmudgeonly asshole ready, because it's gonna have a twin when I'm through with it."
"Do you have an erection?" Palpatine asked in fear as he looked beneath Plinkett's waist.
"YEEESSS!" Plinkett declared.
"Oh, fuck!" Palpatine exclaimed. He turned to try to run off, but he was quickly grabbed from behind, bent over, and then he began mewing as Plinkett began inserting his erect penis into Palpatine's asshole.
"This is a metaphor for what many Red Letter Media fans think I do to them for not bringing them any reviews like they think they deserve!" Plinkett declared to no one in particular. "Because they're not the reviews they need, but the reviews that they deserve!"
"Hey, speaking of which, why haven't you reviewed The Dark Knight?" Palpatine asked, as if he wasn't being anally raped right now.
"BECAUSE I KINDA LIKE MARTIN LAWRENCE!" Plinkett shouted.
"Well, I love Jennifer Lawrence, too!" Palpatine said in a conversational tone. "Who doesn't these days, I mean she's such a great actress! You ever see Silver Linings Playbook? Oh, wait, that's right, I'm being raped." He resumed mewing in helplessness.
"Oh, No!" Fuckbot declared. "There Will Not Be Rape Unless I Am Involved!" He then headed for where Plinkett was now raping Palpatine.
"Not without me, you're not, Mister!" Taggert replied indignantly as he followed his robotic lover.
Soon, Fuckbot was now behind Plinkett and fucking him in the ass while still anally raping Palpatine, and then Taggert was also inserting his own hairy boner into Fuckbot's asshole.
"You wanna join 'em?" Space Cop asked Nadine.
"What, no!" Nadine exclaimed indignantly.
Space Cop shook his head. "Alright, fine." He then punched her straight in the face, knocking Nadine out instantly, and then began dragging her unconscious body toward the accumulating rape pile. Once he got there, he asked Taggert, "Hey, Simon, can you shit out a dildo?"
"No problem," Taggert said. Then a blue, six-inch dildo came out of the gorilla man's ass. Space Cop took it, squeezed it to harden its function, nodded at it, then reached down to undo Nadine's pants. He then stripped them off, attached the dildo to her vagina, then propped her up against Taggert's back, inserting the dildo back into his ass for anal penetration, then Space Cop, after undoing his own pants, mounted himself on top of Nadine to rape her as well.
It wasn't long before she woke up, screaming in terror at what was happening.
"I thought you were a cop! Aren't you supposed to stop things like this?!" Nadine exclaimed to Space Cop.
"Yeah, but peer pressure tells me I gotta do this, honey pie!" Space Cop said.
Nadine resumed screaming for all of two seconds before she calmed down and said, "Hmm, I'm really enjoying this! Give it to me harder, Space Cop!" And as her own rapist increased his own rhythm, she did the same to Taggert.
Meanwhile, as all this went on, Vestara and Jag, who now stood side by side watching what was now an event unfolding, simply viewed it with perplexed expressions. They looked at each other in utter confusion before their eyes looked down to Vestara's crotch, which was now bare of both pants and underpants, and a second later, another dildo flew out of Taggert's ass in between Nadine's raping of him, and this new dildo rocketed to attach itself to Vestara's crotch.
"What's happening?!" Vestara exclaimed.
Then an invisible force - the force generated by the rape pile headed by Plinkett - pulled Vestara in so that she was now fucking Space Cop in the ass against her will. Two seconds later, the force that caused this changed Vestara's mind to the point that she became a willing participant. The same happened as Jag's pants and underpants disappeared and he rocketed forward to begin fucking Vestara in the ass next. Jag was then summarily the next target of the rape as the force took even Threepio from his attachment to the Nubian fighter's underside, and his crotch spontaneously created a thick, six-inch golden metallic penis that could be used to rape Jag in the ass.
Not much longer, the Millennium Falcon, which somehow shrunk to fit into the Faux Harla's landing bay, landed on the ship's deck, as Han and Leia, responding to the latter's feeling of their daughter's death through the Force (though neither had noticed that the ship had grown smaller), had gone to see what had happened. But before they could even take in what was going on down in the landing bay, the force of the rape pile flung them straight through the Falcon's forward viewport so that they rocketed headlong toward the rape pile, with another dildo ready to be used for Leia before she began fucking her husband in the ass, with Han now fucking the droid he long thought insufferable, Threepio, in the droid's mysteriously-created ass hole.
From there, it wasn't much longer before everyone else gathered in the Mandalore system were ripped away from their ships by the invisible force to the Faux Harla docking bay to fuck each other, with dildos popping out of Taggert's still-pounded ass for the females there. At this point, the vacuum of space ceased to matter, and then, after a few minutes, the Faux Harla came apart from all the still-loving, raping bodies that were involved, both Jedi and Mandalorian alike. Even Luke Skywalker was now amidst the fray fucking his own sister in her vagina among the now entangled rape pile, with his dick going up against Han's ass, as well, making it a mini-three way between the galaxy's three most powerful heroes. And Mirta Gev was being fucked in her own vagina by Belok Rhal, who himself was being fucked by Goran Beviin, who was being fucked by his own lover, Medrit Vasur, and so on and so forth.
And then force of the rape cluster spread out quickly through the galaxy, taking in everyone else - sentient, non-sentient, and microbial - who existed to fling them from wherever they were - ripping them through hyperspace without killing them - to join the rapidly-growing rape cluster that Mr. Plinkett was still somehow leading in what was now officially a mess, something that wasn't even broken with even the living world of Zonama Sekot appearing somewhere in all of this to sprout a tiny yet long-enough dick to fuck a Wookiee in the ass.
And yet the rape cluster continued to grow, spanning several systems in mere seconds. And this came from the beings who existed in far-off galaxies, who came over in exactly seconds. At this point, the whole universe was involved.
But Plinkett was not yet done. In milliseconds, every being across the Multiverse was involved in what would be known as Plinkett's Orgy.
Once every being in the entirety of the Multiverse was involved, Mr. Harry S. Plinkett felt a sudden urge.
"Oh, God!" he said among the writhing masses of people raping each other.
"Yes, my child?" God asked from His far-off position from Plinkett, in which he was committing incest with his own son, Jesus Christ.
"I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum!" Plinkett said.
And then he came.
From there, he screamed in pain as all of his sperm was unleashed in a single glorious second, coating the entirety of the Multiverse in seconds, until his semen was the only thing to exist throughout the Multiverse.
"Oh, God, I can't stop cumming!"
When the cum cleared, Plinkett found himself and Palpatine to be the only things left in the white that was left by his all-encompassing semen, wherein they floated in the vast emptiness caused his by his orgasm.
"What the fuck was that?!" he asked Palpatine in total confusion.
"My only complaint about all this was that I never found anybody I could love in the infinite vastness of reality," Palpatine said in sadness.
They then heard a whistling sound come from above, and they looked up to find a blue energy beam being fired in their direction.
"This is for reality!" Taggert called, his ass now emitting the Hadron Collider. "We need to get it back!"
"Oh, flip!" Plinkett and Palpatine said simultaneously.
The beam then passed through him, killing him instantly, and from there, not only was a new universe created in its wake, but the entirety of the Multiverse as well.
As for Taggert, he was now standing back on the deck of the Faux Harla. With him were Space Cop, Fuckbot, Nadine, Jag, Vestara, Jaina - who was alive again - and the Millennium Falcon behind them, which was out in space. Han and Leia, at the cockpit, could see that their daughter was alive and well.
But that wasn't on their minds right now.
"I Vote That We Forget That This Ever Happened," Fuckbot said.
"Agreed," Nadine said.
"Yep," Space Cop said.
"Definitely," Taggert followed.
And everyone throughout reality followed suit in their agreements, regardless of what separated them, for they all knew that they would never talk about Plinkett's Orgy again.
