Sorry about the wait. Updates might be a bit sporadic.

Please note that I have never ever ever been drunk before so I'm just making this up as I go along.


[A week before Irene Adler's "death by terrorists" in A Scandal In Belgravia]


"Sebbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyyy, where aaaaarrre yoooouuuuuu?" Jim called out as he wandered the hallway of their home. Sebastian was hiding from him for some reason- something about avoiding the "goddamn drunken criminal mastermind who could possibly order the death of a hot dog vendor in Japan or some shit". It was all so confusing, really.

That was odd.

Why was he staring at the ceiling again?

Oh. He was lying on the floor.

How had he gotten down there?

Jim heard rushed footsteps and suddenly his favorite person's face loomed into view. "Sebby! Sebbbb, guess what, I love alcohol, Seb. Thank you for intro- hic- ducing it to me."

"I didn't introduce it to you, you twit, I just accidentally encouraged you to drink too much. Kind of. God, you're such a lightweight," Sebastian muttered, and then Jim was upside down! on Seb's back! and his arms were dangling! look at! all! the exclamation marks! !

!

! ! !

! !

Jim smiled up at the new ceiling. "Hi," he told it, but it didn't say anything back.

Why was it SOFT below him? Oh, that's right, beds are SOFT. Blankets are SOFT. Pillows are SOFT.

"Yes, pillows are soft." Sebastian sighed.

Had Jim said that out loud?

"Yes," said Sebastian.

Oh.


Earlier, Sebastian had challenged Jim to a drinking contest. Jim had declined, saying such things were beneath him. Sebastian taunted and teased his boss until Jim had finally snapped and agreed to the match. Sebastian now realized that Jim had declined because he got drunk way too easily. Now Sebastian knew why Jim only had one glass of wine whenever they drank together or ate out.

Sebastian had come running when he heard the "thud" of Jim falling to the ground. Despite Sebastian's dislike for the drunken man's weird whims when drunk, he didn't want the poor sod to hurt himself.

Now Jim was asleep, and Sebastian could finally rest easy knowing that Jim wouldn't be causing any more trouble.

Though the colonel did facepalm when he realized how tetchy hungover-Jim would be in the morning.