A/N - So I was looking through my basic arc plan (which helps me keep track of what plot arcs happen and when), and I was planning on just hammering out more details for the arcs I had. I ended up adding in three more arcs at various points in the story. God damn it, me. Anyway, I want to say that's why there was a week-long gap between updates, but the truth is that I just didn't get around to it until now. Sorry! I don't think we'll be getting back to daily updates for a while yet, you guys.
Speaking of you guys, I want to thank Carolinefdq and Dreamer372 for reviewing! To Caronlinefdq, I say howdy! It really has been a while (I think your last review was for chapter seventeen), and I'm glad to see you again! And yes, the feels. They will be very feels-licious. To Dreamer372, I say thank you! In regards to Excalibur and Latin, that'll be covered in this chapter. Sort of. You'll see.
Notes and translations of the Latin will be at the end of the chapter.
DISCLAIMER: Soul Eater is the intellectual property of Atsushi Ōkubo. I have no intention of monetizing my fanwork, and this is merely an enjoyable passer of time.
Chapter Twenty-Three - Curiosity Claimed the Meisters - Seeking Out the Fabled Sword Excalibur, Part 4
"Lame!"
To say that the alternate form of the legendary Excalibur was a bit of an unexpected let down was a vast understatement. Alecto hadn't even considered that Excalibur could shift into another form before, but it made sense; after all, it was what other weapons did. But if she had to describe what she thought such a form would look like, her answer would be the exact opposite of the tiny, cartoonish white creature with round, unblinking eyes and no visible mouth, instead having a long, upturned pointy snout. The creature stood upon bare paw feet and was dress in a white dress coat and bizarre neck shawl, and on its triangular little head a tall, thin top hat. This didn't look like what the holy sword should look like at all. This creature looked… adorable.
Beside her, Kid stifled a laugh and Black Star grimaced in confused displeasure. "You're the holy sword?" he asked of the creature. "In a top hat? Seriously?"
The creature let out a hrmph in the deep baritone of the voice that had spoken before, a baritone that didn't fit the creature's appearance. "You're one to talk, in that funny outfit," it said, pointing the can in its hand at Black Star.
"Non crēdō id," Alecto said, kneeling down by the creature with a goofy grin on her face despite herself. "Look at you, you're so cute. You're like a little stuffed animal that I could win at a carnival!" she cooed, reaching out and patting the critter's top hat.
Thwak!
The cane came crashing down onto her head. Alecto recoiled as a flower of pain bloomed at the top of her skull. Moving her hands up to the tender skin, she scooted away from the creature a bit. She could practically hear Tempus lecturing her. New rule, Ally, he would say, don't try and cuddle the holy sword, cute or not.
Said holy sword turned its attention back to Black Star and Kid. "And who are you, exactly?" it demanded.
"Who am I?" Black Star repeated, clearly seeing a chance to stroke his own ego some more. "I'm Black Star, the bi-"
"My legend dates back to the twelfth century, thank you very much," Excalibur said, its voice cutting off Black Star before he could fully start boasting. "From the looks of you three, you must be meisters." It jabbed its cane at Black Star's face again. "Where are you children from?"
"Who do you think you are, pointing that thing at me?" Black Star snapped, swatting the cane aside. "Put it down, freak."
Kid spoke up. "We're from Death Weapon Mei-"
"I know that," Excalibur said, interrupting again. "Here. I want to show you something." It turned away and began to walk away at a ludicrously slow pace that made Alecto internally check her wavelength as she stood up to make sure that she hadn't accidentally done something to the fabric of time or something along those lines when she'd gotten whacked with the cane.
"Why'd you ask the question if you already knew the answer?" Black Star pointed out. "Geez, what's with this guy? And why the hell isn't he wearing any pants?"
"He's a weird one, that's for sure," Alecto said, wincing as her head throbbed painfully. She lowered her voice, keeping a wary gaze on the creature. "Are… are we sure that's Excalibur? It could just be some sort of pretender…"
"I don't think so," Kid said. "The sense of magic in this cavern feels too strong for that to just be a copycat." His brows knitted together. "What's he showing us, I wonder?"
"A disappointment, maybe?" Alecto said, folding her arms over her chest, glowering at the ground. "Stultum est hoc."
"Second century A.D, post the construction of the Colosseum," Excalibur said out of nowhere, turning around. "Irrelevant." He jabbed his cane at Black Star again. "Young ones, do you want to hear the legend of me?"
Black Star scowled. "Put that that thing away!"
As was quickly becoming par for the course, Excalibur metaphorically steamrolled over Black Star's words, continuing his spiel as the blue haired would-be assassin grew more and more visibly irate. "Do you want to hear a heroic tale?"
"Get that out of my face."
"Where have you traveled here from?"
Alecto scoffed. "Didn't you just say you already knew?" she asked. "We're from De-"
"What is your favorite number between one and twelve?"
Alecto resisted the urge to throw her hands up in the air and just give up. This wasn't what she'd been expecting at all. She'd been hoping for a legendary weapon, not a legendary pain in the ass. Oh, what a story she'd have for Tempus when they got back to Death City. Assuming she could stomach talking about it, that is.
Black Star knocked the cane away with the back of his hand again. "What? Between one and twelve?" he said, and held his index finger out high.. "One, obviously, because I refuse to back down until I'm number one!"
"And mine is eight," Kid added, "because of its perfect symmetry."
Alecto simply shrugged. "Numbers are numbers. Who cares?" She'd no more love for five than she did seven or two. The only opinion she had towards numbers was that trying to long-divide them was a real pain and one of the reasons she'd almost completely given up on math in elementary school.
Excalibur, it seemed, did not approve of the answers given to him. "Fools!" he declared, his voice echoing around the cavernous room. "What right do you have to choose a number? My legend dates all the way back to the twelfth century, you know!"
"Incrēdibile," Alecto stated flatly. I've finally done it. I've found someone more insufferable than Black Star.
Even Black Star was taking issue with the sheer levels of insufferable that were being radiated from the little creature. "You asked us to pick a favorite number, so we did," he pointed out. "Why do you keep asking questions you don't want answe-"
"Do you want to hear my legend or not?" Excalibur asked, prodded at Black Star's face with his cane. Alecto was starting to get the feeling that Excalibur was a bit of a one-trick pony.
"Ugh," Black Star said glaring fiercely at the alabaster crook shoved just under his nose, "just quit with the cane already, will ya?"
"Hrmph!" Excalibur lowered the cane, though he made a good show of doing it slowly and deliberately. "As I said, my legend begins in the twelfth century. My mornings begin with a cup of coffee with cream at the cafe. My afternoons begin with a cup of hot tea, with two lumps of sugar."
"Huh, really?" Alecto said. "What kind of-"
Thwak! "Don't interrupt me!"
"Ow!" Alecto jerked away from the cane, the crook of which had once again found its way to the top of her head. If he did that one more time, she was going to take that fancy cane of his and snap it in two. And then feed it to a family of beavers. While making him watch.
She didn't like Excalibur that much, was what she was trying to say. "You damn hypocrite!"
Excalibur continued as if he'd never been stopped in the first place. "And my evenings-"
"Let me guess, booze?" Black Star interrupted, looking about as sick of Excalibur's bullshit as Alecto felt. "Sounds right for an old guy like you."
"FOOL!" Excalibur all but shouted. Alecto noticed that his facial expression (if you could call two round, bulbous eyes on a pointy snout a "face") never wavered from the flat, unblinking stare that he'd been bearing throughout the entire conversation. It didn't really make him look less like a top-shelf carnival prize. Alecto was starting to wonder how he had even became legendary in the first place. "In the evenings," Excalibur continued, "I change into my pajamas."
Black Star placed his hands on his hips. "Why should we care about that?" he demanded.
"That's all irrelevant to the legend," Kid agreed. "The s-"
"FOOLS!" Excalibur shouted. "Do you know what this hat is?"
Alecto stared. Quid.
"Huh?" Black Star asked, brow furrowing in bafflement.
Excalibur turned to face him, and though his expression didn't change Alecto could sense that he was probably somewhat exasperated. Yeah, makes four of us, buddy. "I asked," the Holy Sword said, "do you know what this hat is?"
"How should we know that?"
Kid sighed. "It appears to be made of silk, if that's what you mean," he said.
"Fools!" Excalibur repeated. "If you don't know, I guess I'll just have to tell you. The taller the chef's hat, the greater the chef."
"Okay," Kid said, "so what you're trying to tell us is-"
"FOOL!"
"Oh, would you knock it the hell off with that 'fools' crap?" Alecto snapped brusquely, planting a cocoa-colored boot firmly on Excalibur's hat, crushing it downwards. "Seriously, do you really think that shouting a single word over and over again until our ears bleed makes you sound awesome or interesting? Hell no! Te damnare et equum tuum. Plenus stercoris es excrementi!"
"And you," Excalibur said, jabbing his cane at Alecto's face (a remarkable feat considering his head was still pinned in place by her foot), "are very ill-mannered and vulgar. Of course, I wouldn't expect much less from a Roman."
"What the… I… I'm not even from Italy!"
Excalibur knocked her foot off of his head with his cane, his hat popping back into shape without so much as a dent as she stumbled back. "This is why I can't abide hayseeds," he stated. The nonsequitur making Alecto do a double take. What did hayseeds have to do with, well, anything?
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Black Star let out an elongated, incensed scream, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth together so hard that it looked like his molars were about to crack and crumble away from the force of his anger. "YOU ARE BEYOND ANNOYING!"
"Black Star, calm down!" Kid admonished. "You too, Alecto. Don't let this guy and his nonsense get to you."
How can I not?! Alecto thought bitterly. There was something about the holy weapon's infuriatingly self-righteous, insufferable attitude that managed to push each and every one of her buttons. His constant interrupting of anyone else certainly didn't help.
Black Star wasn't done venting his resentment, however. "HOLY SWORD, MY ASS, YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" He whirled around and yanked the library book out of Kid's hands, the latter looking very taken aback at this. "LET ME SEE THAT BOOK, IT'S COMPLETELY UNRELIABLE!" Still growling, the cyan-haired boy glowered down at the back cover of the tome. "Who wrote this?! Let's see, the author is…" His brows knitted together and a baffled expression crossed his features. "Ee-ex-callie-burr?"
Oh, son of a bitch. Alecto shared a flat glance with Kid, who spoke with venomous comprehension lining his words as the realization struck the three of them. "Excalibur," he corrected.
"What!" Black Star exclaimed, throwing the book on the ground in front of Excalibur. "It was you?!"
"No autographs!"
"Hey, Tempus?"
Tempus looked up from the book in his hand to meet Tsubaki's gaze. The dark-haired meister's indigo eyes were a whirlwind of emotions, with concern being the most prominent. "What it is?" he asked. "If you're worried about Black Star, you shouldn't be. He's an arrogant idiot, but he's a tough arrogant idiot. I'm sure he'll be fine." He'd been telling himself something similar in regards to Alecto to assuage the concerns he had recently acquired in regards to her quest. It hadn't completely wiped away his fears, but it'd helped enough for him to focus on other tasks.
Tsubaki shook his head. "No, it's not that. Well, it sort of is. It's just…" She sat down on the chair next to him. "Didn't you notice that Sid reacted really weird when Dr. Stein told him where Black Star and Alecto are?"
"Well, yeah. Why?"
"He didn't seem worried about them, though," Tsubaki continued. "He looked… exhausted? It's hard to find the right word. And Dr. Stein didn't want to talk about it anymore."
Tempus blinked. Tsubaki brought up a damn good point, one he cursed himself for not considering before. "Yeah, you're right. If there was some sort of great danger involved with finding Excalibur, you'd think that they'd be a bit more concerned." His brow furrowed. "And Sid said that it was the 'ultimate remedial lesson.' What was the deal with that?"
"I don't know," Tsubaki said. "Dr. Stein is still here, though. I'm going to go ask him."
"Ah. Mind if I join you? Dangerous or not, I wanna know exactly what my meister's getting into." Tempus stood up alongside Tsubaki, lingering a little bit behind her as they approached Dr. Stein. It wasn't that he was afraid of the scientist or anything (he most certainly wasn't and anyone who suggested otherwise who be on the receiving end of quite a few stern words because seriously why would he be scared of a creepy mad scientist with stitching on his face and a screw embedded in his skull), it was just that he wasn't really in the mood to initiate the conversation.
"Excuse me, professor?" Tsubaki said. "I have a question." Dr. Stein looked up as she spoke, his pallid eyes partially obscured by the light glinting off of his spectacles. Tsubaki continued. "What kind of weapon is the holy sword?"
"Oh," Dr. Stein said. "That, huh?" He closed the book in his hand and laid it flat against the desk. "Whoever draws the sword is said to be made a great king, given wings of light and granted the ability to soar through the sky. The sword can cut through space with a single swing. Without a doubt, it is the most powerful weapon in the world."
Wow, Tempus mentally deadpanned. Well, now I just feel boring.
"I see," Tsubaki replied, a thoughtful look on her face. "But only a hero who's been chosen can match soul wavelengths with it, right?"
An expression that Tempus never thought he would see on Dr. Stein's face settled upon Dr. Stein's face: contemptuous disgust. "Hm, no. That's not true, unfortunately. Surprisingly enough, Excalibur can match soul wavelengths with anyone."
"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," Tempus said, shaking his head. "If Excalibur is the most powerful weapon in existence, able to make its wielder fly and rend spacetime, and its soul wavelength is malleable enough to be wielded by anyone, which is a damn enviable skill if you ask me… how the hell does it not already have a meister?"
"Ah, yes," Stein said, "that's the part the book doesn't cover. Anyone can match their soul wavelengths with the sword just fine. But there's no one in the world who can ever match personal wavelengths with Excalibur."
Tempus stared at the professor for a few seconds before understanding dawned upon him. "Are you saying…" he began slowly, struggling to keep down a disbelieving grin that was threatening to stretch across his face, "...that the holy sword of legend is actually an insufferable prick?"
"That's one way of phrasing it," Stein replied.
Tempus couldn't fight the grin any longer. "Oh, man," he said, "that's just priceless."
He couldn't wait to see the look on Alecto's face when she got back.
"...Okay, where the hell were you keeping all this paper?"
Alecto stared down in horror at the heavy stack of papers in her hand, repeatedly glancing over to the equally massive stacks in Black Star and Kid's hands. After a bit more pointless rambling about absolutely nothing of worth, Excalibur had pulled the three stacks out from under his neck-doily (which was the best summation of words that Alecto could string together to describe that atrocious white pseudo-shawl of his), giving one stack to each of them.
Excalibur didn't answer her, a turn of events that didn't surprise Alecto in the least. "Before becoming my meisters," he said instead, "there is a list of a thousand provisions you must peruse. Be sure to look through all of them. They're important."
"Even the backs of these pages have been written on," Kid said, awestruck as he flipped through the papers.
"Even I don't have enough time to complete all of these," Alecto grumbled as she flipped through the provisions. Provision number 278 itself went on for five pages, explaining in great detail exactly why one should never put carrots in Excalibur's food. Alecto made a mental note that if she were to ever serve Excalibur a meal to put as many carrots into it as possible, just to spit the little bastard.
"I'm greatly looking forward to your participation in number four hundred and fifty-two," Excalibur added, "the five hour storytelling party." Alecto, Kid, and Black Star all shared a three-way glance at this, and an unspoken yet unanimous decision was made between the students. Unaware of the silent agreement that had just occurred, Excalibur raised his pointy, fingerless hands to the sky and began to glow with the same brilliant light from before. "And thus… thus you have been chosen!" His voice echoed in Alecto's soul, and his silhouette in the light shifted to that of the sword, the perfect, beautiful Holy Sword and Alecto couldn't possibly begin to understand how such a beautiful weapon could be such a pain in the neck. "It shall all be yours! Victory, success, and glory!"
"Victory…!" Kid said, with stars in his amber eyes as he reached out towards the sword's hilt.
"Success…" Alecto murmured, reaching out for the sword as well,her hands clasping over Kid's.
Black Star was the last to reach for the sword, an eager grin on his face. "Glory!"
"Yes," Excalibur said. The light around him solidified into a brilliant beam shining down from the sky (or up from the ground), and a pair of wings seemingly made out of pure light unfurled and encompassed the cavern with their radiance. "Now let's go… together!"
...Nah.
The three of them promptly shoved Excalibur back into the ground, with identical expressions of revulsion. "Yeah, right!" Black Star said. "Who'd ever want a sword like you?"
"Non hodie. Nunquam," Alecto confirmed, giving the blade of the sword a swift kick for good measure.
"Useless piece of metal," Kid added. "Come on. Let's go."
The three of them turned and made their way towards the exit of the cavern, disregarding the sword's words behind them. "H-hey! Hold on, come back! I'll tell you what, I can lower those one thousand down to eight hundred! J-just as long as you take part in the storytelling party!"
Black Star scoffed under his breath, hands shoved into his pockets. "Anyone who can put up with him is a hero."
"Disgusting," Kid said.
"Waste of my time," Alecto grumbled. Tick. Leaving Black Star and Kid behind, she forged on ahead, resentment and disappointment stirring in her stomach. This whole trip had been a complete disaster. She'd have preferred not being able to draw the sword at all than what they just had to deal with. Gritting her teeth together, she pushed on forward, jumping into the stream and following the flow of water.
She needed to get to her tea, damn it.
Alecto had managed to hold on to her irritation for most of the trip home, sans a short period where she'd dissolved into helpless giggles at seeing Black Star giving Kid a piggy back ride over the stream. But as they drew closer and closer to Death City, vexation gave way to dejection, and she began to lag behind a little, her shoulders sagging slightly as the full disappointment began to creep up on her. She'd drank the rest of her tea to try and provide some good to her mood, but the tepid, tasteless liquid only served to further emphasize how unsatisfactory the quest had turned out to be. That's what the trip had been; tepid and tasteless.
She hadn't even realized just how blatant her bad mood was until Kid's voice cut through the haze of disheartenment that surrounded her thoughts. "Alecto, are you all right?"
Alecto looked up sharply, her gaze locking with Kid's. He was standing a few feet ahead of her, looking at with a hint of concern on his face. Black Star had run up ahead; Alecto had been so wrapped up in her emotions she hadn't even noticed how far ahead he'd gone. She offered kid a weak attempt at a smile. "I'm fine," she lied. "I'm…"
She trailed off, her expression faltering before returning to its downcast state. A few seconds of silence passed before she spoke again. "I never had any plans of actually wielding Excalibur, even before I met him," she admitted, shifting her grip on the thermos of tea in her hands. "Like I said before, I wouldn't trade Tempus for anyone in the world, not even the holy sword. I just thought… if I could pull the sword out… then that would mean something." She kicked at a stray pebble laying in the dirt, feeling a faint flush creep into her cheeks as she spoke. Why was she even telling Kid this? "That I'd be doing something right as a meister. But, instead, it turns out that Excalibur is, well…" She jerked her head towards the direction of Excalibur's grotto. "That. Bit of a letdown, that's all."
"That's an understatement," Kid said. "It's a shame such beautiful symmetry is wasted on such an intolerable individual." He paused for a moment. "Alecto, I've seen you and your partner fight before. You're already doing fine as a meister. If that's what you're worried about, then don't be."
If Alecto had been blushing before, it was nothing compared to the redness that covered her face now. "A-ah!" she exclaimed. "W-well, gratias, that's really… that's really nice of you to say," She was more than a little flustered now. She wasn't sure how true Kid's words were… after all, he hadn't seen how Vegas went… but they were still nice to hear regardless. "I still think Excalibur was a major disappointment, though."
"Well, yes," Kid said, a small grin lingering at the corner of his lips. "That goes without saying." He turned back in the direction of the school and began to walk. Alecto hadn't noticed before just how even and deliberate his footsteps were. It was oddly befitting for the young Reaper.
Alecto took a nervous step forward, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying. "Vis ire simili simul venatu nam Kishin?"
Kid stopped again and looked over at her. "Huh?"
"Uh, sorry… What I was saying was, would you like to go on a mission with me some time?" Saying it in English made her realize just how completely ridiculous that sounded, and she quickly backtracked. "I mean, if you don't want to that's totally fine, I just thought that, well, because you seemed to take an interest in my whole temporal thing, and you're a really good fight, so-"
"Okay."
"Yeah, I know, it was a stupid id… what?"
Kid smiled. "Okay," he repeated. "I think it's a good idea."
"Oh. Oh! Okay." Alecto had no idea what was going on anymore. Tick. She stole a few seconds to calm her pounding heart. She'd never asked someone to work together on a mission before. It wasn't that she never collaborated with another meister-weapon partner before; hell, she'd met Maka and Soul when they'd been assigned on a mission together. That wasn't the hard part. The hard part was actually working up the nerve to ask. But she had asked, and Kid had agreed. I guess it wasn't that hard. Tock. "All right then. Is it alright if we hash out the details more tomorrow? I'm going to have to spend the rest of the evening trying to drag Tempus away from the library."
Kid nodded and began to walk again, and Alecto followed him, feeling considerably better than she had couple minutes ago.
Tempus, to Alecto's surprise, was not trying to rearrange shelves he technically wasn't allowed to touch, like she'd guessed he would have been doing. Instead, he was leaning against one of the lecterns with a book on famous European Kishin Eggs. He looked up as she walked into the library, and a wicked grin stretched across his face. "So?" He asked, with more anticipation than curiosity in his voice. "What was the legendary sword Excalibur like?"
The gears clicked into place, and Alecto stared at her partner with narrowed eyes. "You knew," she accused. "You knew what was going to happen."
"Not when you left," Tempus said hastily, his golden ponytail bouncing on his shoulder slightly as he shook his head. "But after you left and Tsubaki and I cleaned up - she came to help, that girl is such a sweetheart - Ol' Doc over there clued us in." He nodded at Dr. Stein, who was sitting at a nearby desk and frowning slightly at the nickname. "Jokes aside, though, what was it all like?"
"It was…" Alecto thought for a second. "You know that feeling when you get on a roller coaster and it's going up for the first big drop and it feels like your heart is about to leap out of your chest?"
"Yeah."
"It felt like that, only the cars stopped at the very top and got stuck for three hours and they eventually had to climb up and get you down. Basically a big build-up to a joyride that never happened."
"Wow, sound's like a let-down."
"'Let-down' is also the word I'd use for it." Alecto shrugged. "I suppose it wasn't a complete and total loss. You got to rearrange a library, and we're going out on a mission with Kid and his partners sometime soon."
"Awesome... Wait, what?"
A/N - :O :O :O
And so it begins. Your reactions over the next couple or arcs are going to be very thrilling for me as an author. Mua ha ha ha. :3
Tackling the subject of Excalibur and Latin, I figured that he probably can understand and speak it (because why wouldn't he be able to), he just doesn't want to because a lot of the Latin-related stuff comes from before when his legend first dated and is thus irrelevant in his mind. He probably doesn't even care about all that stuff.
As we near closer and closer to the 100K word mark, I can't help but look at my arc planner again and look at my progress. We just wrapped up arc 6. Out of probably over 40. We're not even a 6th of the way done, and that's just arcs alone. Some arcs are going to be much longer than others. For example, "Graveyard Shift" lasted six chapters, while "Time Flies" lasted 3. And that's not even taking into account chapter length and overall word count. Someone needs to stop me.
Ah, well. Latin learning fun times!
Non crēdō id: "I don't believe it." Me neither, Alecto.
Stultum est hoc: "This is stupid."
Incrēdibile: "Incredible."
Te damnare et equum tuum. Plenus stercoris es excrementi!: This needs to be tackled in parts. The first part literally means "Damn you and your horse!" A more context-accurate would be "screw you and the horse you rode in on!" The second part means "You are full of crap!"
Non hodie. Nunquam: "Not today. Never." Basically an attempt at Latin-ificating the phrase "not now not ever."
Vis ire simili simul venatu nam Kishin?: "Do you want to go Kishin-hunting together?" Let me tell you, figuring out the word placement of this sentence was a pain in the ass. Eventually it was just going to be "Vis ire simili simul venatu?" which just means "Would you like to go hunting together?" But I wanted to make it specifically Kishin hunting, but there is no way to include "Kishin" in the sentence as-is without messing up the grammar, so I tacked "nam Kishin" onto the end, making the literal translation of the sentence, "Do you want to go hunting together for Kishin?" Not ideal, but whatever. I think I did good considering I'm working with two entirely different rules of grammar. If you'll remember, Alecto attempted to ask this back in chapter twenty-one, but was cut off by Black Star. God damn it, Black Star.
Chapter twenty-two will start a new arc (original, not an adaptation of the anime plot (:O)) and will be up soon. In the mean time, please feel free to favorite and leave a review telling me what you think! Feedback makes Nocte happy. :)
- Diana "Nocte"
