AUTHOR'S NOTE- Hello readers. I am back with a chapter that answers so many questions. I hope you enjoy this one. Thank you so much for you reviews, favs and follows. They are what make writing this so much more fun.
We have Emison back in the next chapter. Finally! Stay with me and enjoy the ride.
HAVE YOU BEEN LYING TO ME FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS
A few days had passed since Alison had called Spencer. She had more often than once replayed the conversation in her head. Had she thanked Spencer enough? She really didn't think there was anything that she could say that would express the true extent of the gratitude she felt. Maybe someday life would give her the chance to sufficiently appreciate Spencer's actions.
Something about that conversation had not felt right to Alison though. She could not really put a finger on what it was but she felt restless about it. Days had turned into weeks and soon that unsettling feeling in the pit of Alison's stomach was gone. Life with a baby in the house and daily deadlines normally left little or no time to think about anything else.
It was a Saturday after a specially long and tiresome week and Alison was lying almost asleep on a huge float shaped like a butterfly in the pool, soaking the sun. Ezra had taken Malcolm to the zoo for the afternoon and she had no intention of moving from her current position till absolutely necessary.
Even though not really thinking of anything her thoughts found their way back to the page in her personal journal written a month after having left Pennsylvania.
I dream of her everyday. Her voice calls out to me across the abyss of the night and I run to it and the safety it promises. Most days, I wake up at midnight and find myself staring into warm brown orbs that look at me like the world has melted away and I am all that remains with her. For her.
What I wouldn't give to see her smile at me again. To feel that warmth envelope me and free me of the cold that now permanently resides within. I have no answers to the questions my mind seeks – Who is she to me? Why has an acquaintance of a night haunted me every night since? Why does going on without her seem more difficult a task than living with the scars of being preyed on by the demons that exist in society?
I had promised to wait for her. Looked into those trusting eyes and promised. She had stood there and defended me-a stranger and I had walked away without a goodbye. In that moment I crushed every possibility of knowing what she and I were or what we could have been. She trusted a nobody and that trust was trampled on, by the very feet that she had bandaged. She will never trust me again.
'You never really seemed like a stranger to me' her words ring through my head and I am engulfed in guilt. I have lost the only person that had probably seen me — not the shell that encases me but the 'me' that lives within this shell of flesh and bone.
I wish you have the world at your feet, angel. Happiness and a million reasons to smile each day. But most of all I wish you 'love'.
Why does my heart ache as I write this? Why does it shatter into a million pieces at the thought of you looking at someone with love in those eyes? I guess that's all that remains, isn't it? You and me, trapped forever in a web of unanswered questions.
Alison had never read that journal entry after the day she had written it but the words had never left her mind. Every syllable of it and every pang she felt while her pen had glided over the paper had stayed with her since.
It was followed by many more, some darker and ridden with the guilt that she carried within her at all times and others more dreamy, filled with the questions she asked herself about the way she felt about the brunette. She didn't know what to call it. It wasn't just gratitude like she now felt for Spencer and she didn't know if heavier, more deep words would apply to people who had spent less than a day together. She wondered if feelings of that kind for a girl were even possible for her!
"Get your lazy ass out of that pool and give me a hug," came a voice from the side of the pool. Alison was snapped out of her thoughts. She slowly opened her eyes and turned to the right to see a petite brunette in oversized khaki sorts and a black and blue leather and denim patterned jacket standing at the side of the pool.
"Look what the cat dragged in," was Alison's reply, with a crooked smile. "That too, a whole week in advance. Haven't you heard of a phone?" Alison had hardly moved a muscle except for tilting her head to the side.
"Haven't you heard of manners? Is this the welcome I get?" The brunette took off her jacket and threw it on one of the recliners by the pool as she spoke.
"I don't really need to play hostess to you in your own house now, do I?" The sarcasm in her voice was laced with playfulness and she finally decided to swim over to the side of the pool. She got out of the water and pulled the tiny woman in for a very wet hug.
"God, you're wet!"
"You were the one whining about the welcome and demanding a hug."
"Ugh. Get away from me. That's a long enough hug."
Alison let her go grinning, pleased to have her friend back. She looked the same-short, very pretty and dressed in clothes Alison wouldn't be caught dead in! To add to that however was a very tanned complexion.
"You look cooked. Who roasted you?" Alison inquired as they made their way back into the house.
"Shut up. A tan is healthy."
"Maybe. But 'that's' not healthy. You look like a burnt marshmallow!" Alison was giggling as she dried herself off.
"Get out of my hair. I've not been back ten minutes. And where are my babies?"
"Last time I checked you left me one baby to take care of and his dad, the slob." This earned her a smack on her arm, one of the things she had genuinely missed in the past forty-five days.
"I'm serious Alison. Where is Malcolm? I'm dying to see him," Aria looked seriously disappointed that she hadn't found him at home when she returned. Her entire plan of surprising everyone had completely fizzled out. She had tiptoed around the whole house hoping to surprise Ezra or Malcolm and had found no one. She had then thought of checking the pool house and stumbled upon Alison lazing in the pool.
Alison finally gave in to the sad look on her tiny friend's face and replied, "Ezra took him to the zoo. I guess he was working all morning and just wanted a break. Don't be sad, they'll be back in a while. Let me get into something comfortable and then you can tell me all about the adventures of Aria Fitz in the Australian outback." She pecked Aria on the cheek before she ran up the stairs to change.
The next few hours were a bitter-sweet mixture of tears of reunion, Malcolm's ecstatic screams and gurgling, lots of stories and a million kisses — some plastered all over the little toddler and some shared by the couple, who were inseparable after the month and a half apart.
Alison had initially kept Aria company till Ezra returned with Malcolm but once the family was reunited she retreated undetected to her room upstairs, to pack up her things and move them back to the pool-house — her home for the past year and a half. This family was hers but she knew when a little distance would be appreciated. As she packed, Alison's thoughts drifted back to when Aria and Ezra had come into her life-
Spencer wanted Alison away from Emily but she had also wanted Alison safe. She had taken Alison home knowing that her parents, both lawyers, wouldn't be home during the day. She had packed up a few things from among her own and given her money and the address of her sister, Melissa in Los Angeles. She had called her sister and told her that a friend, who had recently lost her family in an accident, needed to get away from things and asked her if she could accommodate her and help her setup in Los Angeles. Melissa had happily accepted to help and Spencer had dropped Alison off at the bus station ensuring that she had actually got on the bus and safely left town. On the bus Alison found a note in the wallet Spencer had given her.
I am not driving you away because you are trouble. I am only trying to keep both Emily and you out of trouble. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to ensure that nothing goes unpunished.
P.S. Call me at the below number if you ever need anything, day or night.
When she arrived at Melissa's door she really didn't know what to expect but Melissa was surprisingly warm and yet perceptive enough to leave Alison mostly to herself. She offered to help her get a job and Alison was very happy with her first job as an assistant librarian. She loved to read and had always dreamt of someday ending up in the publishing industry.
On her very first day at her job, she met Aria Montgomery. Aria was a creative arts student at UCLA and was visiting the library for books on photography. She had walked up to Alison and struck up a conversation and in 10 minutes Aria was inviting her to coffee after work. Alison liked the petite girl who seemed full of energy and with a passion for everything she spoke of. Something about her told Alison that they were going to be friends for a long time and she accepted the coffee invitation.
At coffee Aria told her all about her dreams of being a photographer for National Geographic, her family and the love of her life- Ezra Fitz. Ezra had met Aria at a bar her first week in UCLA and a week later she had known he was the man she would be married to someday. He was a Graduate student and his first book of poems had been already published.
Alison on the other hand told Aria almost nothing about herself, except that she had no family and had moved to Los Angeles for a fresh start. Aria had never pushed for more and just seemed to like Alison, no questions asked. Over time Aria and Alison met frequently and when Alison finally decided to go back to college Aria asked her if she would like to be her roommate. Alison had gladly accepted and had left Melissa's house thanking her profusely. She had met Melissa just twice since, when she still lived in Los Angeles.
Alison had also taken an instant liking to Ezra. He was quiet, dependable, and friendly and could talk to her about books for hours. She liked the couple and soon trusted them both. At first she didn't want to tell them about her past and by the time she trusted them enough to share the darker secrets of her life with them, she was doing very well and didn't want to relive any of it.
Alison was the first one to hear the good news when Ezra proposed to Aria on a hiking trip and she accepted. She was one of the very few present at the very private wedding ceremony they had, owing to the recent passing away of Ezra's father. When Ezra finally got access to his huge trust fund and decided to use part of it to buy his family a home in beautiful Pasadena, she helped Aria with the renovation of the huge classy house, so as not to over exert the then pregnant Aria. She was with Aria when she went into labor, not leaving her side till Ezra returned on the first flight back from Seattle, from a book signing of his second very successful book. When she was asked to be the baby's godmother Alison had accepted all teary-eyed. When Ezra and Aria had begged Alison to move into the pool house post her graduation she had refused for a while but had finally given in when being closer to Malcolm was used as bait.
When Aria heard from National Geographic with an offer to accompany a famous reporter writing an exclusive on the lost Aborigine tribes in Australia, she had refused without a second thought. Malcolm was too little. Ezra and Alison however, spent the next week coaxing her into changing her mind. They knew this was something she had dreamt of for years and they didn't want her to lose out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Alison had settled into her new job post graduation and the fact that she basically worked from home was a very good bargaining chip used to get Aria to accept the offer. She loved Malcolm and he spent as much time with her as he did with Aria. She promised that he would be her first priority for the month and a half that his mother would be away. Ezra promised daily face time sessions with the toddler and Aria had finally said yes.
The Fitz family had been Alison's family for the past two years. Aria was almost a sister to her and Ezra a very protective, supportive brother. She had left a lot behind in Rosewood, most of it dark and unpleasant but thanks to the three of them she didn't feel the empty void in her hurt as much. Yes, it was there and its vast vacant vacuum often made her wonder if her heart was in reality still in that little café in Rosewood but life with them left her little or no time to wallow in her guilt, loss and emptiness. She was very thankful for that.
"You don't have to run away tonight!" Aria's voice sounded almost hurt as she stood by the door. "You can stay here and move back in a while. We could have done it together. Its not like we need the guest room or anything."
"I know that. I wasn't running away. I mean, I live in the pool house," she said with her hand on her hip. "Its not really my idea of running away."
"You know what I meant," Aria responded, still sulking as she walked in and sat at the edge of the bed, near the suitcase that was almost completely packed.
"I just think you guys deserve a little time alone after all that time apart. A little space to snuggle up," she teased with a smirk.
"I did miss Ezra. All of you, actually."
"Good save."
"I'm allowed to miss my husband."
"Aww. Someone is all sentimental."
"Shush. Stop it!"
"How about I make myself scarce and you get your precious husband to get this suitcase to the pool house in the morning? I could even take the baby along, so you aren't interrupted tonight." Alison was shutting the packed suitcase as she spoke.
"Sounds good to me," Aria responded and gave Alison a hug before the blonde made her way to the nursery to get Malcolm. She had a crib and enough essentials at the pool house so she wouldn't need anything else. She just gently picked up the sleeping baby and held him against her chest. Aria gave him a gentle peck on his cheek before Alison made her way downstairs and out to the pool house.
Alison woke up the next morning to Aria knocking on the huge glass doors of the pool house. Malcolm had been up a couple of times last night so Alison really did not appreciate the loud noise at 7 in the morning.
"Hold your horses. I'm coming," Alison shouted out, as she got out of bed and got her nightgown on. She opened the curtains and the doors, squinting as the sunlight made its way in.
"I got you breakfast, sleep head," Aria informed her as she walked past her into the room and lay the tray from her hand on the tea table.
"Sleep sounds so much better than breakfast right now," Alison mumbled as she yawned and cuddled up on the couch.
"No, you don't. Get up. I have a big day planned for you."
"For me? Why do I not like the sound of that?" Alison's eyes stayed shut.
"Don't be such a cynic. I just thought that since you definitely had no 'Alison' time all these days, you should have a day just for you," Aria went on enthusiastically.
"In that case, I choose to spend my 'Alison' time sleeping," Alison replied before tucking her hands under her head like a pillow.
"That's not the plan."
Alison frowned as she finally opened her eyes. "Who asked you to make a plan?"
"Don't be such a grouch. I've booked you a morning at the spa, followed by lunch at Domenico's with moi," she said pointing to herself. "And finally you are going to the movies with a special friend."
"Sounds great except that I don't have a special friend," Alison replied taking a long sip of the orange juice Aria had brought her.
"It's my friend who thinks you are special."
"I am not going out with Grant again. Absolutely not!"
"It isn't Grant. Though I am never going to understand what happened between the two of you," Aria replied with a frown on her face.
"It wasn't right. That's all."
"And you decided it wasn't right after 5 dates? He told me a little of what happened, you know. Why won't you talk to me about it," Aria inquired looking very confused.
The truth was Alison really didn't know what to tell her.
Alison hadn't dated during her last year in college. She was still getting accustomed to the idea of letting Aria and Ezra into her life. She wasn't ready for more. Grant studied photography with Aria and had bumped into Alison a few times before he had asked her out and she had refused. Aria had however tried to get her to say yes, on Grant's insistence and Alison had finally agreed to a lunch.
Grant was tall, handsome and a funny guy and Alison really had no excuse to refuse another date. This was followed by three more and Alison genuinely enjoyed his company. At the end of dinner on the fifth date Grant had tried to kiss her and Alison froze, before pushing him away and almost running into the waiting cab. She had then avoided all communication with him for the next few days until she finally gathered enough courage to meet him and explain that she wasn't ready for anything romantic. Grant had been a true gentleman about everything but Alison didn't know how to explain the 'why' to Aria without touching on her past.
Her experience with Grant had her wondering. She had dated before when she lived in Rosewood. Noel and she had been in and out of a relationship for years but it never seemed to click. She always mused that it was because Noel wasn't the one. Pompous, bossy and with a roving eye — he wasn't really her dream guy. He was however the most popular guy around and that meant a lot to the old Alison.
Alison hadn't felt a real connection with anyone before Emily but she didn't understand what that relationship was. Was it just attachment to her savior? Was it something real? Was that something she wanted — a relationship with a girl? But after Grant she wondered if she could have a relationship at all. Had the happenings of that one night two years back destroyed her possibility of ever having a relationship? The thought of Grant kissing her, touching her had made her sick. Would she ever be okay with feeling someone touch her?
Alison had questions, lots of them and no answers. She knew she would not be able to answer any that Aria might have and hence had never said anything to her other than that dating Grant hadn't felt right. She had never thought of what she would tell Aria if she ever found out.
"I don't know Aria. It was not Grant. Believe me, he was great. It was me. I'm not ready for a relationship. Not now," was all she finally offered as an explanation. She couldn't look at Aria and stared at her empty glass instead.
"I guess you can't really choose who you feel a connection to. It just happens," Aria replied attempting to make Alison less uncomfortable. "That doesn't mean you lock yourself in with my toddler and hide from the world. Just meet Travis once. He is a writer, likes the same things as you and is a pretty great guy. If you don't like the company, just enjoy the movie. I've been dying to watch 50 Shades of Grey."
"So maybe you should go for the movie instead," was Alison's quick retort, accompanied by a cheeky grin.
"Do this for me."
"I don't want to."
"Gosh, you are so stubborn."
"Maybe, I'm just gay."
Aria's face went pale and her eyes opened wide. "Are you? Oh my God, I never asked you," she blurted out
Aria's reaction got Alison guffawing loudly. "Your face! I've never seen you this pale. I was just getting you off my back but your face was priceless."
"This isn't funny," Aria replied annoyed, smacking Alison on her arm. "I don't care if you are gay. I just felt stupid for never asking."
"I'm happy to know that. But getting back to the point, I really do not want to go on a date with this guy. Can you please make up an excuse and cancel? If I am going to take a day off I would like it to be a no stress day."
"I guess I can," Aria responded with a sigh. She rose and walked over to pick up Malcolm, who was now half awake. "You have an appointment at 9 at the Cote d'Azur Spa. I'll meet you at Domenico's at 1:30 and don't worry I'll take care of the movie thing so you have your evening to do as you please." Alison smiled wide and dug into her toast as Aria left for the main house with the baby.
Half an hour later Alison was showered and dressed in a beautiful pale pink jumpsuit. She made her way to the house to tell Aria she was leaving for the spa. She found her in Ezra's office with the baby on her thigh going through her mail. Malcolm gave Alison his broadest smile and banged hard on the desk to declare his excitement, sending a whole heap of envelopes and papers flying in every direction.
"Someone is excited to see his Aunt Ali this morning," Aria cooed to the baby as she tried to pick up the mail that was now all over the place. Alison kissed Malcolm on his head as she bent over to pick up everything that was out of Aria's reach and placed them on the table. As she looked down her eyes fell on a pale yellow envelope with decorative corners that looked like an invitation. It was addressed to Aria Montgomery and on the left hand bottom corner in bold green font was printed 'Rosewood High School, Rosewood, PA'.
Alison looked up at Aria who was looking through a pamphlet she received in the mail. She wasn't sure if she was shocked, confused or angry. What escaped her lips was the one question that she needed an answer to.
"Have you been lying to me for the past two years?"
More secrets! Leave me a line telling me what you thought. Good or bad I love hearing what you think.
