{the repenting talon}
-He who sins against a child, sins against God-
It had taken a while to realize that Dick had met the boy before. But his face was familiar, and Dick remembered a party he'd been forced to go to in order to observe Bruce Wayne. Yes, Dick knew this boy. Tim, he recalled. That's his name. And it was then that Dick knew that there was no going back from his treason. He couldn't be the Talon the Court wanted any longer, and so he had to do his best with what good he was given.
It was why Dick was growing so attached to Ghost. Damian. The boy was small, confused, and desperate. In very many ways, they were the same. But at least the boy had some semblance of hope. Dick had been half dead since the day the Court of Owls had stolen him away. He couldn't help but see some echo of the child he'd once been in the child he watched now. Damian was nothing like Dick Grayson, the circus boy, but he was very much like Dick Grayson post circus. That frightened him. And it drew Dick closer to the boy still.
It had been a very long time since he'd let himself truly care about anyone. I had been even longer since he had anything to protect.
The boy— Tim— was not in fantastic shape. As far as Dick could tell, his abdomen was torn up, and there was a shallow stab wound near his stomach. Dick could see where he'd cut the boy's cheek earlier in the day, and he wondered how luck and chance had dumped them together once again. Tim was unconscious, as he'd passed out very soon after Dick had knelt by his side. It was a little worrisome, but Dick figured they would handle it.
Damian was walking very slowly. He was letting Dog lead him, as Dick was holding Tim and could not hold his hand because of it. Dick knew his attachment to Damian would become a problem soon if they did not accomplish their goal. In truth, he didn't know why he was latching onto the boy so desperately. Maybe he just hoped that this last bit of humanity he'd found would be kept safe if directed at a child.
Dick planned to die. It would be peace, and he wanted it desperately, but he was afraid for Damian. Could he survive the Court's wrath? He's the true son of Bruce Wayne, Dick thought, staring at the white haired boy's back. The Court will want him, dead or alive. Dick knew that they were headed on a suicide mission. And killing Jason Todd was not worth it. But there was nothing that could be done about it.
Dog was the one to paw at the door to the Rabbit Hole. Dick had not expected to ever come back to the place at all, let alone so soon. The door opened, and a groggy-eyed Colin appeared. He gave the four of them a long, blank stare, and he merely moved away from the door, wandering back into the room. Dick let Damian and Dog enter first, and then he went, holding Tim gingerly in his arms.
"Do you never sleep?" Damian asked, sounding simultaneously bored and disappointed.
"Do you ever leave?" Artemis snapped back, sitting up. She was sitting on the floor near the fire pit with the younger girl beside her. The dark skinned child sat up, and it became apparent that she had been sleeping. They were both on a long flannel blanket that stretched across the cement floor, and beside Artemis were a bow and an empty quiver. Strewn across the blanket in front of her were numerous arrows, which she appeared to be sorting.
"It was not my choice to return." Damian sniffed. "Talon wishes for your assistance."
"Who's that?" the young girl mumbled, rubbing her eyes and pointing at Tim.
"Probably another assassin," Artemis said, glowering at them.
"No." Dick shook his head, carrying Tim to the couch and resting him there. The boy was bleeding profusely, and his head was lolling. Dick could hear him murmuring breathlessly, his eyes flickering fast behind his lids. Nightmare, Dick thought. "He's a boy who needs help. You help people… don't you?"
Artemis's eyes widened. She looked at the young girl, who merely nodded fast, jumping to her feet. Colin appeared in front of Tim with a first aid kit in hand. "Oh, wow," Colin breathed. "Who did this?"
"A man," Dick said, pressing his lips together. No, Dick knew the threat, didn't he? Vaguely, he'd seen him in news headlines fed to him when younger. "The Joker."
"The Joker," Artemis said, her voice lowering incredulously. She closed her eyes, and she shook her head. "That's it, guys, I think we've hit rock bottom. We're going to die."
"Stop being so dramatic," the young girl said, wandering to Colin's side. "You're the one who said that we have to take risks if we want to help anyone."
"I didn't mean taking risks that might land us in the Joker's lap!" Artemis gathered up her arrows and stuck them back in the quiver. "Sorry for not wanting to be put to death in a cruel and unusual way."
"Hey, Artemis, can I use one of your arrows?" Colin asked, not looking up from Tim's chest. The small boy, admirably, had already cleaned up as much blood as he could, and was now threading a needle.
Artemis tossed an arrow over the fire, which the younger girl caught, and then gave to Colin. "Knock yourself out," Artemis said, rising to her feet. "In the mean time, let's talk."
"I would, but I fear for my intelligence when I speak with you," Damian said. Dick stared at him for a moment, his mouth opening to reprimand him. Artemis didn't give him the chance.
"Aw," Artemis said, her eyes narrowing at the white haired boy. "Your insults are so cute. But seriously. I'm fed up with this crap. We've been pretty generous to you two, considering how you obviously have plans to murder someone, and we don't tolerate that sort of thing here. And don't bring up my dad, because I'll put an arrow through your eye, Talon, so help me."
"I wasn't going to," Dick said softly. He looked at Damian, and almost said his name. But he decided against it. "Ghost, she's right. We owe them."
"I haven't any money."
"Ha ha," Artemis said, rolling her eyes. "Hilarious."
Damian frowned, and looked up at Dick. Dick rested a hand on the boy's head, and he shook his own. "He wasn't joking," Dick told the little blonde girl. He thought about when he had almost killed her once. He wondered if she was thinking about it too.
"Why am I not surprised?" She raised her hands into the air, and dropped them against her thighs. "But seriously, you two. You owe us for not turning you in."
"What do you want from us?" Dick asked, pulling Damian carefully closer to him. The small boy shrugged him off, but stuck close all the same.
Artemis straightened up, and she looked between the two of them. "I want you to help us," Artemis said. Her dark gray eyes glittered in the dim light of the lanterns around them, and the fire. The room was still very cold, and Dick imagined it was because of the window he'd smashed. "Help us help people."
"That is the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard in my entire life," Damian declared.
"Have you heard yourself speak?" Artemis retorted.
"Enough," Dick said, placing his hand between them. He pushed Damian behind him, and he nodded to the girl. "I can't help you. I'm sorry, but I know how much danger I'm putting all of you in by interacting with you. I'm sure you remember what I'm supposed to do with people who see me."
She stared at him coldly, and she turned away, stalking toward her bow. She scooped it up, and swung her quiver over her shoulder, notching an arrow and drawing the string to her cheek as she glared at Dick with disgust gleaming in her eyes. The young girl had spun around when she heard the string go taut, and she shrieked, "Artemis!"
"Then quit!" Artemis spat. "Quit, be a hero! Don't go back to them. They won't know."
"You don't understand," Dick said.
"Artemis, stop!" the young girl cried, rushing to Artemis's side. "This isn't how we handle things!"
"It's not like he can die," Artemis said, grimacing as she glared. "A few arrows won't hurt him."
"Um, yes, actually," Dick said, watching her with a frown. "They will."
"Not much, though." She tilted her head. "You're not even human, are you? Just some monster."
"Shut up!" Dick looked down at Damian in surprise. The boy was shaking in fury, his lips drawn back in a snarl. He was startled, and he felt a strange rush of warmth as he realized that the boy was defending him. It was, admittedly, one of the kindest gestures he'd received in a very long time. "I'll help you with your idiotic quest. Just relieve us of your relentless screeching."
Artemis stared at him for a few moments, before she lowed her bow.
Dick held up his hands as he moved closer to Colin, pulling off his mask and his belt of knives and resting them on the ground. He moved closer to the redhead boy, and Tim, who was still a mystery to him. I met him once, and then I tried to kill him, and now I'm saving him, Dick thought, watching Colin work with a determined silence. His hands were bright red and slick, but somehow he didn't care.
"You're very good at this," Dick said, his eyes following the movements of the small boy's hands. He'd never had to sew up his wounds before. They always closed for him, so he'd never learned the skill of first aid. Colin seemed to be natural at it.
"I mend things for the nuns sometimes," Colin said, shrugging. He thredded Tim's skin back together carefully, and Dick watched the boy's head loll, his lips moving slowly. "Also, you wouldn't believe how many times I've had to do this for Artemis."
"Shut up, Colin," the blonde girl said grumpily.
"Talon," the younger girl with big brown eyes said. "Why did you bring him to us?"
"You help people," Dick said blinking down at her. He felt Damian shuffle closer to his side, Dog at his heels. "He needed help."
"But you helped him," the girl said, a big smile forming on her lips. "You do want to help people, don't you?"
"He has information about Jason Todd," Damian said simply.
"So?" The girl bounced on her feet, and she grinned broader. "You could have just taken him somewhere else and beat him till he talked, but you didn't, you came here because you knew we'd take care of him. You two really are good people, aren't you?"
The trickle of warmth that spread through Dick as the girl reached out and grasped his hand was frightening and strange and wonderful. And then Damian shoved the girl back, scowling at her as she stared. Dick placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, but Damian merely shrugged it off.
"You're deluding yourself," Damian sneered. "We both are only seeking one thing, and that is death. Understand that, you stupid little fool."
"It doesn't have to be like that," the girl said. She was staring at Damian desperately, and Dick felt sorry for her. He wanted to pat her head, but he decided against it. "It's so obvious that you two don't want to do this, so why are you doing it? It's okay to be good!"
Damian was shaking, and Dick watched him with awe. His mouth was opening and closing, but he didn't seem to have a retort. He didn't seem to know what to do at all. And Dick had to wonder. Perhaps the little girl was right. Was it possible for them to be good? It was all that Dick ever wanted, to stop the horror he wrought and bring back some peace into the world. To have some hope. And Damian… Dick could imagine how his childhood must have been. Lonely. Dick could empathize, and it was another thing that had him drawing himself closer to the child. Maybe he'd never had any hope before, Dick thought, watching the boy take a few steps back, looking confused and horrified as he seemed to digest the girl's words. Like me.
"It's not that simple," Dick said sadly.
"It is if you try," the girl insisted. "The world always needs heroes. Artemis is right about that. And I think you two could be great heroes."
It was too late for Dick. He'd gone too far. The Court would never allow such weakness to continue. But what she was saying, he wanted it. More than anything else in the world he wanted to help people. I'm dead already, Dick thought. He turned to stare at Damian, his heart pounding in his ears. But he still has a chance to be what I can never be.
"Damian," he said softly. The boy looked at him sharply, and he took another fast step back. "You should listen to her."
"No." Damian shook his head profusely. "No, it won't work."
"It will." Dick reached for the child, and he grasped his shoulder. He bent down on his knees so they were eyelevel. The boy shrunk back, looking horror-stricken and uncertain. "You have a chance that I don't. You have Bruce Wayne. You have family, and you have hope. Don't waste your ticket to freedom."
"I can't," Damian said, shaking his head. "You don't understand. You're just a fool, you couldn't possibly understand!"
"Then explain," Dick said, taking both his shoulders and edging closer. "Why? What's stopping you from going to him and explaining who you are?"
Dick could feel Damian go tense with rage and confusion, and it worried him. "Have you seen me?" Damian pushed Dick back, shoving him hard in the chest. He was trembling, and Dick didn't know why. "I can't meet him. He can't know what a monster I am!"
"You're not a monster," Dick said softly. He gave Damian a wane smile, offering the boy a hand. "I've seen monsters." I am one. "You're just a little boy who was raised to be something that you're not. Take it from someone who knows."
"He'll hate me," Damian whispered. "I can't, he'll hate me."
"Don't become me, Damian," Dick said, placing his hand on the boy's pale cheek, he flinched, but did nothing to push him away. "Let yourself live."
Dick watched as streaks of tears rolled down the child's cheeks, and he looked smaller then, like a boy who had lost five years on his life. And Dick wished he could turn back time, wished he had the chance that Damian had, because then maybe life would feel real, and not a constant flow of motions and perfunctory tasks. Before this mission had turned awry, he could barely remember what it was like to feel something.
Dick did something he instantly regretted. He slid Damian's glasses from his face, and for a fleeting moment he saw red eyes flashing wide. Dick dropped the glasses in shock as Damian shrieked, stumbling backwards and clamping his hands over his eyes. His limbs tangled together, and Dick hurried to him his mouth falling open as he tried to hush the boy. Damian scrambled away from his touch, toppling sideways and curling up, his hands still over his eyes.
"No!" he gasped, "How— how could you—?"
"Oh my god," gasped Colin. "What just happened?"
"Talon just took off Ghost's glasses," Artemis said. She sounded as if she was bemused.
"Damian," Dick gasped, reaching for the child. Damian shrieked, and kicked wildly, his feet slamming into Dick's chest and sending him sprawling on his back. He's stronger than I give him credit for, Dick thought, wincing a bit. Guilt gnawed at his insides, and he bit his lip, sitting up straight and reaching for the boy again. This time Damian smacked him hard, his fist flying out blindly as he squeezed his eyes shut.
"No!" Damian cried, kicking himself upright and twisting wildly as Dick grasped the wrist of the hand that hit him. "No, don't! Don't look! Just get away from me!"
"Don't look?" Dick asked softly, his fingers tightening around the boy's wrist as he tugged helplessly. "Damian, why do you hide your eyes?"
"Stop!" Damian's tears seemed to be ceaseless, and Dick felt awful about it. "Let me go, you— you ibn haram—!"
Dick took his other wrist and pried it from his eye, and Damian's legs jerked out, kicking and flailing fiercely. He turned his face away, gritting his teeth and giving a wordless screech of frustration. "Let me go!" He yanked at his arms, but Dick was stronger. "Khalass, fadlak—!" His voice broke a little, and Dick watched him struggle and twist, kicking feebly at Dick's chest. "Idrukni!"
"What's he saying?" the younger girl squeaked from behind Dick.
He didn't know. The words were foreign to Dick, and he found himself trying to hush the poor boy. "Please calm down," Dick gasped, feeling his heart break for the child. "I'm sorry, please stop screaming, I'm sorry!"
"You don't get it!" Damian's voice was thick, his accent mulling his words. "You just… I can't…"
"You can't…?"
Damian had stopped flailing, and instead he shuddered and slumped. He shook his head, tugging weakly at his arms, his eyes still squeezed tightly shut. "I can't look at you," Damian whispered, sounding terrified. "Grandfather said…"
"Your grandfather." Dick thought he might know what was going on. He released Damian's wrists, and the boy sat for a moment, his entire body quaking in fear and bewilderment. "Why don't you open your eyes?"
"Because," Damian hissed, scrubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. It didn't seem to stop the tears. "You'll turn to stone. That's…" He seemed to fumble over his words, and he gritted his teeth. "T-that's what he said, that's what will happen, that's—"
"Damian," Dick said, feeling horrified himself. "Open your eyes."
"No."
"Yes." Dick rested his fingers against Damian's knuckles, and he dragged the boy's hands downward. Damian let him, and for a moment the only noise in the room was the fire faintly crackling. In the warm yellow light, Damian's round face was stained a soft orange hue. The tears on his cheeks glittered like dew, and for a short moment they sat like this. Dick clutched Damian's hands tightly, and the boy's lips trembled, his eyelids twitching.
When he opened his eyes, he blinked rapidly for a few moments, staring at Dick's face. Dick gave him a weak smile, and he carefully wiped at the boy's tears with the pads of his thumb. Damian's expression was stony, inscrutable. "He lied," Damian said quietly.
Dick smiled wider. "Your eyes are nice," he said, peering at the glittering red hue. They looked like rubies, gleaming from tears. There was a strange and mysterious depth to them, a hidden fortune beneath the crimson hue. "You should really show them more."
"He lied," Damian repeated, snapping his eyes shut. "He lied."
"Well let me be honest," Artemis said, hovering over Dick's shoulder. She held out Damian's glasses, but neither of them made a move to take them. "Your grandpa sounds like an asshole."
"Ghost," the young girl said, stepping up beside Dick. "If your grandpa lied about something like that, who knows what else he lied about."
Damian opened his eyes, and wiped at them with quick fingers. He looked up at Dick, and his expression was oddly devoid of emotion. "So," he said softly. "What do I do, then? Abandon my grandfather because he lied to me?"
"I think that's a pretty good reason." Artemis gave a short shrug. "I mean, telling you something horrible like that? For your entire life? Not worth it. Dump him."
"I told you to run away too," Damian said quietly. "We're not so different, Artemis."
"We're nothing alike," Artemis said, raising her head high. "I'm one of a kind."
"You are a foolish girl," Damian said, his voice tight and his eyes dead. "But… I don't know if I can return now, knowing what I know."
"Did your grandpa tell you you're a monster too?" the younger girl asked, bouncing on her toes. "Ghost, he's a total jerkface! What else did he tell you?"
"He is the one who first called me Ghost," Damian said, rising to his feet. His tears were gone, but the boy seemed strangely empty, as if he'd lost his will in the struggle. Dick wanted to reach out and touch his head, but he didn't think he was welcome. He'd done enough damage. "I never asked why."
"Hey, uh, guys?" Colin asked, sounding frantic. "He's waking up!"
They glanced at each other, and Damian snatched his glasses from Artemis's fingers, moving closer to the beaten couch near the fire pit. Dick followed, pulling off his gloves and tucking them away as Damian unclasped his cloak, tossing it at Colin, who caught it and stared.
"For your hands," Damian said, not looking away from the stirring boy.
Colin's hands were a deeper red than his hair, glistening and wet. "But I just got it all bloody," Colin said, his eyes widening.
"Do I look like I care?"
Tim gave a soft rasp as his eyes peeled open. He stared at the ceiling for a few moments, and he tried to bolt up straight, his big blue eyes flashing with terror. Colin pushed him back, gasping a little bit himself. For a few moments the boy struggled and twitched, his chest smeared red and black all over. His stitches looked ugly and ragged against his pale skin. And then Tim's eyes settled on Dick.
"You!" Tim gasped, his voice hitching. He began to cough, and his body racked as he moved his hand to his mouth, clamping it over his lips.
"Stop!" Colin gasped, pushing at Tim's shoulders. "You're gonna pull your stitches!"
"My…?" Tim looked down at his chest, and he suddenly appeared to grow even paler. "Oh god…"
"You'll be okay," Colin said, stepping back and wiping at his hands. "Can someone do his bandages? I think I'm just gonna go pass out over there, kay?"
Dick reached for the gauze, and Tim stared at him as if he had spontaneously combusted. "You tried to kill me," Tim said, blinking fast as Dick carefully went to applying the bandages. "You almost did kill me. What are you doing now, helping me? What's your deal?"
Dick stared as the white gauze wrapped round and round the boy's ruined chest, and he frowned a little bit. Damian was standing close by, watching passively, as were the two girls. Colin had wandered to the blanket, and stretched himself out on it, still clutching Damian's slim gray cloak.
"I want to help," Dick said. He could see the younger girl beaming, while Artemis simply looked unimpressed. "I'm sorry I tried to kill you."
"Well," Tim said, his eyes rolling upward as Dick worked. "That just makes everything so much better."
Kay guys, so I only have like... five chapters left written of this fic. So I'm only updating one chapter at a time now? I hope y'all don't mind.
I'll try and update like... once a week? I guess? Oh, and um... I can't remember the translations for Damian's arabic. "Ibn haram" means "son of sin", or "bastard". "Khalass" might mean "Stop", and I think "fadlak" means "please"?
Anyways, yup! Enjoy! I should be getting back to writing this soonish?
Aha, shit, almost forgot. Victor Hugo wrote the thing.
