My Little Pony copyright Bonnie Zacherle/Lauren Faust/Hasbro
Equestria Girls: Beyond Life and Death
Chapter 04: Private Pain
[Downtown Equestria, Later That Day]
Twilight drove her car down a street before finally stopping at a curb.
by now, it was just Twilight and Alex.
as the other girls had already taken their respected vehicles home.
Twilight looked at the house that was suppose to be Alex's house (unknown that Alex himself was ducking into his seat, fearfully)
"This is your house?!" said Twilight
Alex said nothing.
he only nodded, making a weak sound is his throat.
"mm-hmm.."
"but..But, it's a WRECK!"
Twilight wasn't kidding.
Alex's house looked Old and Worn.
with dirty, cracked windows draped in shredded looking curtains.
the "lawn" lacked grass, and was just dried earth.
and, what grass WAS seen, was an ugly Brown color.
Alex exhaled.
"sorry..i-it's all my family can afford."
Twilight looked at Alex..and, noted the pain in his eyes.
she then smiled weakly, and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"it's okay, alex.
and..i'm sorry."
Alex said nothing..he just shivered.
"can we..s-see each other, again?" began Alex, meekly
"i..I really liked spending time with you and your friends.
i..(gulp, exhaled) I really did have Fun."
Twilight smiled.
"SURE, Alex..sure.
Say, how about I go with you tomorrow at the Skate Park?!
I know your suppose to hang out with Flash and his friends.
but, there's nothing wrong with all of us tagging along for Moral Support."
Alex smiled weakly.
"thanks..I'd LOVE that."
Alex stared at his house..and, shivered again.
"Are you okay?" asked Twilight, concerned
Alex frowned, his body still shaking.
"i..I don't know.
this is the latest i've ever come home."
Twilight frowned.
"well..if you want, I could come with you."
Alex looked at Twilight.
"I could explain to your folks why your so late." continued Twilight
Alex took a moment to consider this..but, eventually shook his head.
"no." said Alex
"no, I don't want hi-THEM, b-being angry at you.
this is My Problem, not yours: I can handle it, myself."
"Yeah, but..if you get in trouble, It'll be my fault.
so, It only seems fair for us to take equal share of th-"
"NO!" snapped Alex, suddenly
"no, you DON'T want that..trust me."
Twilight eyed Alex.
"Alex..what's wrong?!"
Alex's hand was shaking..almost like his nerves were shot.
but, he gripped his hand and put on a Fake Smile.
"Nothing..nothing at all.
I-I'll see you, Tomorrow."
with that, Alex got out of the car.
Twilight watched as he walked down the walk and approached his creaky wooden porch.
Alex took a moment to look back at Twilight (who stared at him.)
he then exhaled sharply, closing his eyes and entering his house.
Twilight paused, looking down at the steering wheel of her car.
she then looked back at the old, worn out looking house.
for a moment, she considered going in after Alex.
curious as to why he was acting so nervous about going home.
but, she pushed it out of her mind.
she started her car back up (took one last look at the house) and, drove away..
If only she KNEW.
[Alex's House]
Alex back was against the shut front door, breathing In-and-Out harshly.
"ALEX!" called a voice.
Alex looked, and saw a woman with ginger red hair approach him.
"m-Mom?!"
Alex's mother, Jessica, looked quite pitiful.
her long hair looked messy and greasy looking.
her face looked brused, and her eyes red and tearstained.
her clothes were dirty, and had some holes in them.
"alex, what are you doing returning at this hour!?" began Jessica, in panic
"you KNOW you were suppose to be back hours ago!
I tried doing most of your chores, but I couldn't do them AND mine!"
Alex started to breath rapidly, his heart pounding.
"is..is D-D-Dad, here?"
Jessica grimaced, her eyes squinting.
"he..WAS."
Alex gulped hard, his face turning pale.
"go to your room, son." said Jessica, monotoned
Alex looked at his mother..then, exhaled.
swallowing hard, he walked slowly down the hall and to his bedroom door.
he stopped, staring at the door.
was his room Empty?..or, was his father inside waiting for him?
if he was, then he might as well be entered Hell's Gates.
and, he was quite hesitant to reach for the knob.
but..like it or not, he had to.
so, he reached for the metal, orb-shaped doorknob..and, turned it.
with a CLICK, the door opened with a long creaking sound.
Alex looked inside of his darkened, almost pitch black room.
despite being HIS room..it felt so Alien, so Unknown.
because he felt like a monster was lurking inside..one he knew too well.
As Alex entered the room..he froze as the strong scent of Cigar Smoke.
(("no..")) thought Alex, terrified
SLAM!
Alex quickly turned, seeing glowing embers in the dark.
"your LATE, boy." said a dark voice
Alex gulped hard, petrified in fear.
he then stepped back a little as a dark figure emerged.
Alex saw a man with black hair and amber eyes.
dressed in dark clothing, and smoking a lit cigar.
Alex's blood ran cold as the man approached him.
"dad.." said Alex, his voice barely a whisper
Lionel grinned a sinister smile.
he then sucked at his cigar hard..then, blew a LARGE cloud of smoke at Alex's face.
needless to say..Alex began coughing loudly.
"wuss." said Lionel, in response to Alex's coughing
Lionel then glared at Alex.
"why weren't you home doing your chores like you're suppose to?"
Alex's eyes were red and watery.
with one last cough, he attempted to speak.
"i..(COUGH!), i was..(coughs, clears throat) with some new friends.." said Alex, his voice hoarse
This made Lionel laugh.
"Hah!, as if ANYONE would care about something at worthless as you..heh-heh-heh."
Alex eyed his father.
"t-twilight, does."
Lionel eyed his meek son as he smoked his Cigar again.
"twilight (blow smoke) that her name?
is SHE the reason you were off fooling around, leaving your work unattended?!"
"and, others.
I am suppose to meet them tomorr-"
SLAP!
Alex gritted his teeth as a stinging pain pulses on his cheek.
"you'd better not be telling your "new friends" about me." growled Lionel
Alex breathed hard as the pain subsided.
"no..No, I haven't!"
"good.
because, i'd hate to think of what would happen if you were so foolish."
Lionel grinned evily.
he then sucked on his cigar, intensifying the burning embers.
he then removed it..and, jabbed the cigar into Alex's neck.
"GAAAAAAAHHHH!" yelled out Alex, as the embers burned into his skin
Lionel blew out smoke as he removed the cigar.
he smirked and chuckled as he eyed the fresh burn mark on Alex's flesh.
hot tears streamed down Alex eyes.
"i..I'm SORRY!" cried Alex
"i..i promise, I won't be late again."
"oh, I KNOW you won't." said Lionel
the man then reached into his pocket, and pulled out something.
it was so dark, that Alex hadn't the slightest idea what it was.
That is, until Lionel turned it on.
and, Alex nearly jumped at seeing the surging electros.
"You have NO IDEA the trouble I went through to get this baby.." began Lionel
"alot of money..alot of "broken necks"
but, oh-so worth it..(grins evily at Alex) THIS oughta make sure you NEVER forget."
"no..No, PLEASE!"
in panic, Alex fell back.
then, began to crawl backwards as Lionel approached him.
"No, please..DON'T!
i-i'll be good, i SWEAR!"
"oh, I know you will..I just want to make sure."
Lionel suddenly lunged at Alex.
and, throughout the entire night, all that could be heard was Alex's screams and, Lionel's laughter.
But, No one heard any of them..say for ONE.
and, as Alex's cried echoed..the Guardian of the Night wept.
Alex Jr. just sat in his mother's lap, a shocked expression frozen on his face.
Twilight then patted his head.
"i know..i know." began Twilight, her voice soft
"Even I still can't believe that any Parent, any FATHER..would treat their own child that way.
Sometimes I wish it was only a bad dream, that it wasn't real.
But..it DID happen.
and, when you came to be..we both promised ourselves that you'd NEVER have to endure the same Pain and Suffering that he did."
Alex Jr. remained silent.
So..Twilight continued her story.
[Equestria Skate Park, The Next Day]
a blue haired teenager sped down a long, high ramp on his skateboard and, flew high into air and did several flips and twirls on his way down.
watching at the sidelines were several other teenagers
"NICE ONE, SOARIN!" shouted a "firey" haired girl
Flash Sentry grinned.
"man..he certainly does live up to his name, doesn't he?"
"Without a doubt." replied Spitfire
"he's the best athlete that I know of.
and, a hellva good Wonderbolt, If I do say so, myself."
Just then, a car pulled up.
and, Flash saw Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Alex Cosmos emerge.
"Hey, FLASH!" called Twilight
Flash waved back as the four approached him.
"Hope you don't mind if we tag along." began Twilight
"We wanted to give Alex some moral support."
Flash smiled.
"That's great, Twilight.
but..Where are your other friends?"
Rainbow Dash exhaled.
"AJ got caught up with her chores.
We couldn't convince Fluttershy to come.
and, Rarity suddenly caught "every known illness" as soon as we asked her."
"oh."
just then, Rainbow Dash noticed Spitfire.
"COLONEL BLAZE, MA'AM!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash, saluting
Spitfire exhaled.
"At Ease, Dash." said Spitfire, slightly annoyed
"we're not at Base.
So, i'm not Colonel Anything..I'm just Spitfire: a girl looking for some Fun and Excitment."
"YES, MA'AM!" said Rainbow Dash, loudly
"(quieter) I mean..Y-Yes, Spitfire.
Sorry, but..I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"
Spitfire exhaled, rolling her eyes.
"Yes..i know."
At that moment, Soarin skated over to the group.
jumped up, and grabbed his board while landing on the ground gracefully.
Rainbow Dash just stared at Soarin with oddly "lovestruck" eyes.
"that was Sooooo Awesome." said Rainbow Dash, her mind clearly someplace else
Pinkie Pie giggled at this.
"Hey guys..What's up!?" said Soarin, with a smile
Flash smiled.
"Just meeting up with some friends..and, a NEW one."
Flash motioned to Alex.
"Alex, this here is my good buddy, Soarin: Soarin Jett."
Soarin did a salute.
"MAJOR Soarin Jett of the United States Air Force, AKA "The Equestrian Wonderbolts"
(looks to Spitfire) and, this here is my step-sister: COLONEL Spitfire Blaze."
Spitfire greeted Alex.
"Charmed."
Alex looked at the two.
"You two are in the Wonderbolts?..but, your all so Young."
"Inductions into the Wonderbolts can start at the earliest of adolescence.
but, me and my brother are special cases, in that we excelled far quickler than average recruits.
But, we're on leave, and, won't need to report to base in awhile.
SO, we're spending our free time with our Friends and Family."
Spitfire eyed Alex.
"You okay, pal?: you don't look so good."
Alex looked down, gripping his wrist.
"i, uhh..had a bad night."
"Don't we all.." said Spitfire, casting a "rare" smile
Soarin then offered up his Skateboard.
"So, ALEX..You wanna try?!"
"I-I don't know..I've never really-"
"Oh, there's nothing to it!
We'll start off Small, i'm sure you'll get the hang of it."
Soarin led Alex off into the Skate Park..to which Spitfire exhaled sharply.
"Come on, We'd better make sure he don't hurt himself."
"Alex, or Your Brother?" asked Pinkie
Spitfire cast a look at the poofy haired girl.
"BOTH."
Twilight: "Spitfire wasn't kidding, neither.
while Soarin's heart was in the right place he tended to have an inability to differate Thrilling Stunts and Recklace Danger."
Alex Jr: "Is that why Uncle Soarin's in the hospital so much?"
Twilight: "Yes, son..That's it EXACTLY."
Soarin and Alex stood atop a medium-sized skating ramp.
while not quite as big as the ramp Soarin was previously on.
it was still quite big, and made Alex dizzy when he looked down at the others.
"Pretty COOL, Huh?" said Soarin
Alex responded with an audible GULP.
"it's..k-k-kinda HIGH UP, don'cha think?"
"Nonesense!
I could do this one in my sleep."
Alex eyed Soarin.
"Asleep?..You sure that didn't happen AFTER this?"
Soarin looked at Alex..then, laughed out loud.
"HA! HA! HA! HAH!
Oh, man..Flash was right, you ARE Fun."
Meanwhile, down below.
Twilight stared up at the ramp, her eyed trained on Alex.
"You SURE this is safe?"
"oh, I'm sure Soarin knows what he's doing." said Rainbow Dash
"Naw, I wouldn't bet on it." began Spitfire
"as a kid, He once stuck his tounge in a beehive hoping to taste Fresh Honey."
"ouch." said Flash Sentry in response
Twilight swallowed hard.
"M-Maybe we should-"
"Oh, don't worry about it!" began Pinkie Pie
"I'm sure he'll catch on quickly: Like how baby birds learn to fly after being kicked out of their nests."
Rainbow Dash scowled at both her friends.
"oh, I'm sure Soarin wouldn't-"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
Twilight gasped as Alex (who was shoved by Soarin) sped down the ramp.
"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!" exclaimed Twilight rapidly, biting her nails
Alex's speeding form began to sped up the ramp..
but, his body fell and slid down the curved surface, while his board flew into the air without him.
he began to raise up from the center of the ramp..
but, he got clocked on the head by the falling skateboard, knocking him out cold.
"Whoops." said Soarin
[Later]
SPLASH!
Alex coughed and sputtered as he awoke from the ice cold water.
"Okay..He's STILL ALIVE." said Pinkie Pie, with a smile
Alex groaned as he rubbed his sore back.
"hmm..Maybe you should try Rollerblading, First." said Soarin
everyone (except Rainbow Dash) glared at Soarin.
"(deep sigh) OKAY, I'm sorry for pushing you like that."
Alex smiled weakly.
"It's okay.
to be honest, That was fun..up until I crashed like that."
"Don't Worry!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash, putting her arm around Alex
"With a little practice, you'll become a Pro in NO TIME!"
Twilight scowled.
"Maybe we ought to SKIP the extreme sport for now." said Twilight
Flash Sentry looked at Alex..who looked pretty shakey for some reason.
"yeah..that might be smart."
Spitfire crossed her arms and exhaled.
"And, what ELSE could we do, then?"
Twilight thought for a moment.
"well..M-Maybe we could try Horseback Riding."
Spitfire widened her eyes.
"Horse-What?!"
"Applejack has a ranch with horses.
It might be Fun, AND Safer."
Alex thought about this for a bit.
"Hmm..horse riding.
You know, that DOES sound interesting."
"GREAT!, then let's go."
[Apple Smith Ranch]
Applejack carried buckets of appled over her shoulders groaning a bit as she carried them all to a big red barn.
as she put them down, she looked at her brother.
who sorting out different types of apples
"Mac..You done plowin' the fields Already?!"
"eeyup." replied Big Mac
"dang, ain't you tired?"
"nope."
Applejack smiled.
"Someday, ah'm gonna figure out where ya' get all yer strength from."
"maybe." said Big Mac, with a grin
Just then, a familiar car pulled up.
"Twilight?!"
Twilight waved as the others got out of the car.
"HI, AJ!"
Applejack approached the group.
"What are ya'll doin' here?"
Twilight shrugged.
"We sorta struck out in Extreme Sports.
and, we were hoping to try our hand at some Horseback Riding."
Applejack paused.
"huh..well, this is all rather sudden.
I still have chores to do, so I can't come with ya' right now."
"Well, if now isn't a good time-"
"Oh, no, of course not.
You can all go on ahead to where I keep the horses and ride 'em yerselves."
Twilight smiled.
"Okay, THANKS.
(looks to the others) Come on, guys..Let's Go."
Twilight took Alex's hand and, walked off to another part of the farm.
Spirfire just exhaled sharply as she followed with the others.
the group soon made it to the horse stables.
where they saw stalls keeping various horses.
"Well..this is a lovely smell." said Spitfire, with sarcasm
Soarin eyed his "sister"
"What's your problem?
Not looking forward to horse riding?!"
"not really, no.
Jets and Planes I can handle..Horses are another thing entirely."
"Why?, what's wrong with Horsies?!" asked Pinkie Pie
Spitfire exhaled foreefully.
"Their dangerous on BOTH ends.
and, frankly I don't trust anything being between my legs."
This remark earned a snicker from Soarin..who was promtly GLARED at by Spitfire.
"sorry." said Soarin, quickly
Alex looked into one of the stalls, staring at a Mare and it's Foal.
"wow..these things are pretty cool."
Twilight walked near Alex.
"You know..Applejack's Grandmother says
that out of all animals in the world: Horses are the most sensitive, and "human-like"
their bond with humans can be pretty strong.
and, most just LOVE to be ridden."
Alex looked at Twilight.
"really?
gee..I can't imagine why they would."
just then, a lime green stallion nudged at Alex.
it then began licking his neck for some reason.
"(giggles) Well, he sure seems to like YOU." said Twilight
Alex eyed the stallion..then, pushed it back.
"(exhales) alright, Alright..I'll ride this one."
"GREAT, 'cuz i've already picked out mine."
Twilight then opened a gate, and led our a purple mare.
[Later]
The group rode their horses out down a trail.
while Twilight was doing just fine, Alex was clinging to HIS horse's neck tightly.
Flash then rode his golden horse near Alex.
"you seem Tense, Alex."
"Sorry..I'm new at this."
"Just relax: Horseback Riding is an activity built on TRUST.
so long as your Horse is happy, it won't give you a bit of trouble."
"But, HOW do I keep mine Happy!?"
Flash grinned.
"Just give him a reason to trust you." said Flash
"I mean, Just look at Pinkie and HER Horse.."
Alex looked over at Pinkie and her Pink Mare.
"HI-HO, PLATINUM..AWAAAAAAAY!"
Pinkie's horse reared up, neighed loudly.
and, galloped away at a fast speed.
"yeah..they DO seem to be like-minded..Unlike Spitfire and HER horse."
the two boys looked, and saw Spitfire in a "tiff" with her yellow mare.
"Okay, look.." began Spitfire, glaring at her horse's face
"You don't like me, and I don't like you.
but, the sooner we get this over with, the Sooner we BOTH can get on with our lives."
Spitfire's horse responded by turning right around.
it's rear end directly facing Spitfire's face.
"Don't you turn your back on ME, you Jack***!"
Spitfire's horse apparently disliked her last remark.
as the NEXT thing she did was literally SIT on her.
"GAH-!..GET OFF!" snapped Spitfire, pinned to the ground
at that moment, Rainbow Dash and Soarin passed her by on their horses.
"hey, Fire..you taking five or what?" said Soarin
"shut up." grumbled the firey haired girl
Alex looked at Flash.
"I think I see your point."
Alex sat back up properly on the saddle.
he then gently patted on the head of his horse.
"okay, boy..Listen.
i would really, REALLY appreciate if I can get through this without being Bucked or anything.
so, can you please take this SLOW and STEADY.
and, take me close to Twilight and HER horse..Mare..Whatever."
Alex's horse seemed to understand.
as it began moving at a steadier pace, and trotted closer to Twilight.
"Ah..I see you're getting the hang of it." said Twilight
Alex smiled sheephishly.
"Like riding a bike, i guess."
[Later That Day]
The group were now inside Applejack's House.
with them was Applejack's siblings: Big Mac and Applebloom.
"Well..Not quite the "Boy's Night Out" that I had planned for Alex." began Twilight
"but, we all had FUN, Right?"
Spitfire grumbled, a sour look on her face.
"speak for yourself.
After THIS, running drills at Base is gonna seem like "Cloud 9"
Applebloom looked at Spitfire, innocently
"Did ol' Wildfire sit on ya?"
Spitfire eyed the young girl.
"This sorta thing happen BEFORE?"
"(giggles) Wildfire does that with people she don't like."
Spitfire grimaced angrily.
"Well..So long as Alex had a good time.
then, I would say today was a VERY good day." said Flash Sentry, changing the subject
Alex smiled.
"yeah..i DID have a good time.
Horse Riding was more fun than I thought it would be."
"Don't Knock It, 'til Y'all Try It." began Applejack, as she brought over some pies
"That's what mah' Granny always says."
"Eeyup." agreed Big Mac
Soarin grinned wide as Applejack placed down the pies.
"oh, SWEET!
are these Apple Pies!?"
Applejack eyed the spikey haired teenager.
"No, their Orange." said Applejack with Sarcasm
"Yes, They ARE Apple Pies..ain't got nothin' else but "Apple", here."
"GREAT!" exclaimed Soarin, digging into one
Rainbow Dash just smiled as she watched her crush eat.
Twilight then looked at Applejack.
"Applejack, where IS your Granny Smith?"
"Workin' overtime at a Soup Kitchen.
Granny's got a heart as Golden as Allll the Corn in the fields at Harvest Time."
Applejack then sat at the table with the others.
"So, Alex..How do'ya like mah' farm?"
Alex smiled.
"I like it..it's Nice.
Big, Wide Open Spaces, Plenty of Food, Lots of Animals."
Applejack chuckled.
"It's the only life fer' me."
Alex smiled as he took a bite of Apple Pie.
he then noticed that Applebloom was staring at him.
"What?"
"Where'd ya' get that SCAR on yer' neck!?"
Alex grew pale at this.
"APPLEBLOOM!, Be Polite!" snapped Applejack
"Well, he DOES!
He's got'a big one riiiight THERE!"
Now, even Twilight was looking at it..and, widened her eyes at it.
"what th-"
Twilight pulled at Alex shirt and, saw not only the mark..but others.
"Alex..What ARE These!?"
Alex shivered, growing nervous.
"N-N-NOTHING!"
"You've got multiple scars on your neck, Alex: they are FAR from "Nothing!"
Now, EVERYONE was looking at Alex.
"Th-They came from..a LONG time ago.
I don't even remember where most of them came from!"
"Y-Yeah, but-"
"Twilight, ENOUGH." said Applejack
"If Alex says he doesn't know, then DROP IT."
Twilight exhaled sharply.
"fine."
Alex breathed a sigh of relief..but, was still acting nervous.
Twilight eyed him, not fully convinced that his scars were "nothing serious."
Twilight: "I shouldn't of listened to Applejack.
I should've kept asking Alex, PRESSED him to be more honest with me.
but, I barely knew your father..we ALL did.
and, like the "ignorant children" that we were,
we thought that minding our own business was the Proper and Polite thing to do.
I..WE, were So Wrong."
Alex Jr: "Why didn't daddy say anything?"
Twilight: "Because he was AFRAID, darling.
your Grandfather terrorized him so much, that he was afraid to even call for help."
Alex Jr: "when DID you help him?"
Twilight: "(pause, deep sigh) when Alex's injuries became so severe.
that, he could no longer hide them from us, anymore.."
Author Note:
For this Chapter, I knew i'd have to give readers a look at Alex's "personal hell"
but, even I wanted to tone the violence down, so to not risk losing my PG-13 rating..
I think first part of this chapter about sums it up.
Alex's Mother, Jessica is a Fearful Person (not unlike her son)
and, Alex's father, Lionel is a Cruel Sadist who is implied to engage in Illegal Activities.
It's probably best to compare Alex to Cinderella..just Ten Times WORST.
Anyway..I hope that I balanced out the Grim Violence of Alex's personal life
with the lighthearted Humor of his socializing with Flash Sentry, Soarin and Spitfire.
Speaking of, allow me to say a few things of Spitfire and Soarin..
1. Yes, in this version of 'Equestria Girls'
the "Wondercolts" are called "Wonderbolts" and, are an AIR FORCE Branch in the military
I did my best to make them authentic by researching the actual Air Force
and, which is the proper rank for air force officers.
(I may've made some slight errors, but I can't pretend to be an Expert here.
hopefully, it makes plausable sense for Spitfire to be a COLONEL, and Soarin to be a MAJOR)
2. Yes, I am a SoarinxRainbow Dash shipper.
the pairing makes sense, and they have interacted in the actual show (to an extent)
besides..Tomboy or Not, RD is still a teenage girl.
and, like most teenagers, she has a Fangirl Crush.
3. Yes, I did decide to make Spitfire Soarin's "Step-Sister"
(just pretend Soarin's Mom and Spitfire's Dad were struck by cupid's arrow one day)
They always struck me as a Brother/Sister pair, Anyways.
(and, I'd rather AVOID the whole "Spitfire Vs. Rainbow Dash"/Third Wheel War, if you don't mind.)
and, Lastly.
I thought it's be cute for the Humanized Pony characters to "Ride Horses"
AND, I hope I made clear that the horses they are riding
are suppose to be horse versions of their pony selves (Ex: Twilight Sparkle riding a Purple Mare)
and, yes..I couldn't resist having Pinkie Pie doing a Parody of "The Lone Ranger"
I also hint at Twilight and Friend starting to 'wise up' to Alex's Abuse.
but, for the moment, they don't quite know the full story (and, won't figure it out until later)
the story needs more time to grow, first.
