So pathetic, so humiliating, what on earth was he thinking? Now it would be so difficult to look at him at the eyes. Eddward never acted this way, begging on his knees? It wasn't like him, he never asked for something, he just took it, but now he begged?!

He was so ashamed of himself, he couldn't see himself at the mirror. Kevin looked at him with disgust before giving him an answer. He wanted to say No, he knew that, but he said yes maybe just for pity, or the promise to leave him alone if he didn't like it and by the way he was begging it was almost sure he wouldn't like it at all. Impress him would be so much harder and thinking it better, maybe it was a bad idea the whole date thing.

Bigger Kevin hated him, he was sure, it would be impossible to get near to Pumpkin's house. He must have to figure out how do the best date ever and avoid not only his brother but his entire family.

And yet the most difficult thing to do was call Kevin and ask him properly, because after the "ok, fine, but get off me now" he just left and Eddward stayed there miserable and pathetic.

In the other hand, Kevin was regretting his decision. Being alone with Eddward, after THAT?! Probably he would do something stupid to recover his image in front of him. He didn't fear him like before but he felt uncomfortable around him.

He didn't say anything to his brother or parents but maybe it would have been a good idea doing it. He didn't have the intention to actually give him a chance, he only wanted to prove him that no matter what there isn't a way for them. But while he was rediscovering his old cellphone he was feeling a little guilty.

Somehow Eddward got his old number and tried to message him that day of the movie and after that. Between the million of unread messages there was a kind of confession of Eddward, between all his rage and insulting messages there was moments of weakness and vulnerability.

"Let's forget all this shit, just answer me please, say something. I really like you and I want to make things right with you"

"This is the last time I try to talk with you civilly. I just want a fucking answer Pumpkin, I hate being ignored, specially by the one I care the most."

"Do you really hate me that much?"

"I like you, go out with me"

"I'm sorry, please don't hate me"

Just five messages with a bit of humanity and kindness, five between maybe sixty rude, hateful and mean messages. Eddward was an abusive and by no means Kevin will fall in love with one. Besides he wasn't his type.

He liked more sweet guys, polite, patient and cute. The opposite of himself actually. But Eddward? He was more like him somehow but in a way he hated. He really really REALLY hated that someone tried to control him or forced him to be submissive in any way, and Eddward took all the opportunities to try and dominate him in the worst way, that's why they always were fighting, the reason why he had lost all the respect to him, and why he would never give him an actual opportunity.

He was spacing out when his current cellphone sounded announcing that a text message arrived.

"Tomorrow they'll be passing old movies at the cinema. Casually they'll be passing Terminator X, the movie I wanted to take you to the first time. Like the first time, I'll be waiting at the main door. Be there at 6:00 pm.

Eddward V".

Kevin sighed. He didn't wanted to go. Maybe he could said that the message never arrived but… It would be the same story and this time a lie. But it was just a date, just one. If he tolerated it and everything went well it would be the end, and Eddward would leave him alone forever. He decided to send a reply.

"Ok. But you are paying for everything."

Kevin waited a few minutes and received another text.

"Don't worry, Pumpkin, everything is on me."

Kevin hated that nickname thanks to Eddward. It wasn't like that at the beginning and it wasn't the first one to use it but dammit, hear it everyday before being bullied, anyone would hate it too. Except when his brother said it, it was rare and sweet, also funny because big Kevin was ginger too.

They both looked like actual brothers, and shared the same name too. But they weren't blood relatives at all. They met like three years ago, the first time they saw each other they were informed that they would be brothers soon. It was shocking for both.

At first they didn't get along really well, and the name thing was really awkward. For their parents it was just funny. Their parents were happy an they didn't had the heart to ruin it, so both really tried hard to make things work, and it worked.

Big Kevin lost his mother when he born. His father raised him alone. Kevin was a jock, tough, sarcastic and cocky, he always intimidated other teens. Puberty were kind to him, it gave him a beautiful and guttural voice, instead of horrible acne it gave him a lot of muscles in the right places and some enviable inches. He was popular, an athlete, beautiful and perfect. Or that is how others see him, he wasn't perfect, he was bully too, his beauty face was thanks to the care of others, and his body the result of a lot of work. He wasn't really kind, he was a total show off, always worried of what others think of him, and had little patience. He didn't change much of how he was when younger.

His girlfriend, Nazz, started to become a headache the last years. Sure, she was perfect too, a cheerleader, the most beautiful girl in all the school and it was all his, or kind of. She wanted to stay virgin until marriage, and she wanted to marry him. She won't do anything sexual with him at all, she was pure, popular and desired for all. Only kisses, hugs, and cuddling. The worst part was that if he leave her for that he would be a total jerk and judged for everyone, if he cheated on her with other girl, opportunities and offerings had millions, he was sure that she will know, and again he will be the jerk. She wanted him to stay virgin too, she knew she was his first girlfriend and that he always wanted her since they were kids, after all they got together when they were 12 … but she was starting to be really annoying in general now.

Every chat they had was about their wedding, her dress, and stuff like that. She used to be cool, but for some reason she changed, she was jealous as hell, manipulative, dramatic, but only with him! For the rest she was just perfect and pure. They were the perfect couple.

A lot of his friends were starting to have an active sexual life, and some dared to made fun of him because of that. That's when he become a bully again and made them to shut the hell up forever. And he still had a lot of pressure. But they didn't know the real thing.

Nazz doing that was a gift from heaven to him, well kind of. It gave him time to think, and someone to blame his lack of sexual activity. The thing was that he was confused because he felt attraction for other boys, maybe one in specific but he wasn't sure.

One day, when he was 14 almost 15 he was touching himself while watching his secret magazines of naked boys when he heard that someone came home. Really fast he hided his magazine under his bed and run to the bathroom to take a shower and avoid questions. It was his secret, and no one should never know about it. Unfortunately when he got out of the shower he found little Kevin looking at them.

At first he was in shock, he got pale, but then he was angry and was about to kill little Kevin who could felt the danger and was so terrified by then.

"I…I'm really really sorry… I didn't mean to " little Kevin started to apologize but big Kevin wasn't listening.

Little Kevin didn't have the chance to say anything at all. A bruised face, a bleeding nose and a threat was all he got. If he dared to say a word about it to anyone he would be so dead. That never happened, he never saw the magazines, and if he said just a word related to it… Of course he kept silence and acted like it never happened, he blamed a bully about his wounds, everything came back to normal and it was almost better because big Kevin kept distance.

One day, two or three weeks after the incident, their mother found the magazines while cleaning. She called them both and asked them:

"Well? Is one of you going to explain this?! " She put the magazines over the coffee table. None of them said a word, both were pale. "So?" She was a little impatient.

"Those are mine " said little Kevin, his mother and brother were shocked. "I'm really sorry, mom. I didn't want to tell you this way but I'm gay. Please don't hate me." The other two were still wordless.

" 'told ya" was the only thing their father said while still watching the tv, that broke the tension. Both teens were shocked, surprisingly it was their father that took it really well, he didn't have any problem with it, but maybe because it wasn't his son? Their mother in the other hand was a little worried, a little sad, and so confused.

"uhm… Honey, I don't know what to say. Of course we don't hate you, but you know, I don't approve this kind of magazines in my house, so… Get rid of them or put them where I can't find them…. A-and your punishment for kept them in secret this whole time would be… A month without desserts! "

"Mom!"

And that was all. They fully accepted him. But still big Kevin was afraid. He wasn't ready to tell them, he still feared their reaction, what if it was different for him? Little Kevin saved him that night by lying for him but soon or later they will know the truth.

That night, when they finally were alone in their room, big Kevin talked with his brother.

"Hey, Kev… Uhmm t-thanks. You didn't have to lie for me, but I really appreciate it." Big Kevin said after sitting little Kevin next to him.

"I didn't lie. I just saw the opportunity and took it." Little Kevin blushed a little, his brother was once again shocked but somehow relieved. He knew that he could talk to him a little more about it. "You know, about the other day…"

"I'm not gay." Said big Kevin immediately. "…if that's what you thinking…" He was nervous. Little Kevin just look at him at the eyes.

"Still you like to watch naked boys " was his response moments later. Big Kevin was about to protest again but little Kevin kept talking. "Look, I'm not gonna judge you or try to tell you who you are, that's up to you. I just wanted to apologize, I really didn't mean to invade your privacy, it was an accident. And…" He was a little nervous too. "And if you decide that you are gay or bi or pan or whatever and… Want to talk with someone, I'm always here to listen, I'm not gonna judge you at all." He looked away. "W-we are brothers after all"

Big Kevin's heart melted that very moment. He acted like a jerk with him all this time or just ignored him, and he was now, being so kind with him and offering friendship. He just smiled, maybe that little guy was feeling so lonely like him. Maybe he could help him to find himself.

They talked all night about everything. They started to knew each other and love each other. They laugh, they cried, they become close. That very night big Kevin swore to protect his brother with all his strength.

Big Kevin never abused his brother after that, sure, he teased him a lot like a good brother but he always demonstrated his love. Big Kevin was intense when they were alone, but distant when they were with other people. Still, big Kevin always knew how to made up for everything, and yes, they both have more happy moments together than bad ones. Big Kevin was sometimes severe and overprotective, but a cute smile of little Kevin and he was all his, but little Kevin wasn't the kind of 'cute' boy one would think, he was everything but cute and he hated to be treated like he was a 'cute', 'adorable' and 'sweet' boy. But with his brother was different, he was weak with him too.

Big Kevin finally accepted that he was gay, and the first person that knew about it officially was his brother, but of course that didn't surprised him at all. The things that happened after that is another story, the thing is they loved each other so much, so when little Kevin started to change for bad and hide things from him like the abuse, they kind of fight a little because of that. Big Kevin wanted to protect little Kevin but he didn't say anything about his abusers, so when finally he could see one of them, the instant hate was palpable.

Telling big Kevin that his adored little Kev had a date with exactly that guy was a bad idea, that's why he didn't say anything. He just said that he was going to a date with a tedious girl that promised him to leave him alone after that. Big Kevin didn't question it because he has his own problems too that very day, still he told little Kevin to call him if anything happened, that he would run to him.

The time was close, and every minute little Kevin regretted his decision. He wasn't afraid, he was… Annoyed. Maybe he shouldn't go. He didn't want it.

"I don't wanna go "


A/N: a little of the past and this wasn't planned again, I mean, I had a point but all this drama distracts me… Oh well. Again, any mistake please point it out so I can fix it and learn more. Hope you like it.

LykanYouko