Putra Crane leads me back to my bedroom. Like I don't know the way. When she opens the door to my room, I am in awe. She has changed my room into a beautification center. Rows upon rows of makeup. And then, an outfit for the ceremonies. She has me sit down as she works on my makeup. We didn't have makeup back in District 12, so this is something all new. Only she doesn't do what I expect her to do -cake my face with makeup and call it good- she does the opposite. The only make up she puts on me is eyeliner and mascara. The she glazes my body gold sparkles, which I personally hate. But I don't complain. When she is done I look at my golden naked body. The eyeliner is simple. It looks better than I thought it would. I can't help but think how my mom and grandma and even Katniss all had this room, had this bed and even these sheets. I look away from the mirror when I think about my mom. Thinking about home is not going to make me win.
"Ready for the outfit?" Putra says calmly.
"Very." I say relieved I won't be naked any more. But I am only disappointed when I find it is a black lace body suit. It has a black bra in it and black underwear, but the coverage is minimal. I think of how it would've looked on Carra. Stop thinking of home! So I go back to now.
"I like it. It's very.." I search for words. "Sexy." That'll have to do. An image pops into my mind of Darious wearing something identical. I start laughing, which causes Putra to become self aware.
"What?" She asks defensively.
"Sorry." I say still laughing. "I just imagined Darious wearing this!" and I go into another fit of cackling. Putra joins in. Credinsa stops the fun when she says the ceremonies start in 10 minutes.
Putra leads me to the District 12 chariot where we find Darious and his stylist. I'm going to kill you by next week. I am shocked by my thoughts. We can hear the roaring crowd, which only builds my anticipation to get this over with. I don't bother looking at the other tributes. It will only make this more real. Right now I could pretend this is a dream, and that I am not going to kill innocent people. I don't let curiosity get the best of me.
Putra tells us to get on the chariot and try to like we're happy to be here. The first chariot pulls away into the city circle, then the next and the one after that. My nervousness builds as Darious stands to my right. Before I even know what is happening, we are being pulled into bright lights and screaming crowds. I smile and wave. I try to count the people wearing fish bowls on their heads, but lose track. I have lost feeling in my legs now and grip the front of the chariot so hard I think it might break. Then I hear president Milston Paylor's voice.
"Welcome to the 175th annual Hunger Games! May the odds be ever in your favor!" He trills. He has a whole speech prepared, but I tune in and out. Then suddenly we are being pulled away. When we reach the Training Center, I am thrown into a maze of stylists, prep teams, and other tributes. Specifically Finnick, from District 4. I clash into him as Credinsa tries to swing me away from the crowd.
"Oh, Sorry!" I say in exasperation.
"Oh, it's alright. No harm done." He says with a sly smile. I am taken away by his smoothness. I am still partially pressed against him, though. When I try to break away, I find my lace has caught on one of the tiny fish hooks he wears.
"Oh, let me get that," Finnick says. He unhooks it with one swift motion, and in another brings his hand to my face. He strokes my cheek momentarily, his gaze fixed on mine. "You have an excellent complexion." he says as if entranced.
I only hope the gold somehow hides my blushing face. "Thank you," I say smiling. "You have brilliant eyes." Something stirs inside me, something I haven't felt since the third grade when my crush kissed me on the cheek. He had done it out of the blue, I was taken by surprise.
He leans down to whisper in my ear. "You know, I'm not with the careers. We could be a team." His breath smells sweet. Like sugar.
I whisper back, "We could. I am handy with a crossbow." I can only hope my breath doesn't smell bad. Back home I navigate these waters -flirting- so easily. Of course this is just to have fun while I can because I know I won't leave the arena alive.
He lets out a breathy laugh, and replies, "I bet you are. See you at training, 12." He is whisked away by his mentor, a short balding man.
I am left with butterflies. Credinsa yaps at me to come along, so I do. I have actually forgotten about the note Darious left me for a while thanks to Finnick, until I see him evilly glaring at me waiting for the elevator.
A renewed rage fills me, I have always had a bad temper. But there is something else there as well; grief. Why? I have no idea. I never loved him. And sleeping with him was a huge mistake. All I got was -no I am not lingering in the past. Maybe because we had formed some level of trust. Or had we? Maybe it was just me...
Credinsa babbles on about the chariots -who was wearing what, how our costumes were better than most years, how the other tributes were eyeing me-, which I ignore. I just really want to take a shower and get some sleep before the first day of training.
I head immediately for my room, not wanting to be in the same room as Darious any more than necessary. I strip my clothing from my body and step into the shower. The warm water feels unusual, although I have taken a few showers before -last night, on the train, and when I turned twelve in the Victors Village before I was forced to move to the seam with my father.
Before then, I only took baths because every time I thought of a shower I pictured someone coming in and stabbing me, and I felt it was safer in a bath. Then after my first reaping I had to go live in the seam for unknown reasons. My father and mother split after my mom found out she was pregnant. My father wasn't around much -he was always working in the mines- and when he was there he ignored me completely.
I don't know why I was so surprised when he didn't come to see me. He never wanted a daughter. And if he did love me, he probably didn't come because he didn't want to except his only child was going to compete in the Hunger Games.
Stop living in the past, Willow. And I don't want to.
So I just rinse myself. When I go to dinner, there is a spread of food I don't remember. We watch the recap of the opening ceremonies, then I go to bed. I dream of my mother.
