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III
Development


After a few weeks of getting to know each other, Juliana started to notice that when Severus opened up to her— when he really talked about his problems— he only did it because he didn't completely realize he was doing it. Even if he knew she was there listening and talking to him it mostly felt like he was talking to himself, trying to talk about what was happening like he didn't already know it. And sometimes— those times when she knew he didn't tell her everything about that specific matter— it felt like he was trying to convince himself of what he said and how he felt about it.

Almost every day after classes and before dinner they were on the library talking, studying— just being together. She realized that the best way to get him to open up was to not say anything whenever she saw he arrived upset. After a little while he just started speaking on his own, while she listened to everything he said. When he was finished, she calmed him down.

He always asked her how her day had been, or if she was having any trouble, and listened just like she did with him, even offering comfort when there was something bothering her.

"Juliana..." He started one day while they were studying.

"Yes?" She replied without looking up.

"Does not bother you that we are keeping this friendship as a secret?" She closed her eyes with a sigh and stopped writing.

"We have talked about this." She said tiredly, looking up at him.

"Yes, I know we have. But sometimes..." He took a deep breath and looked at her in the eye. "Sometimes I wish we could just spend time together in other places. Without worrying about what people would think." She smiled fondly at him and he averted his eyes, thankful that he hadn't blushed.

"You know I do too. But you have to be reasonable. You were the one who told me that if your housemates knew about it, we're as good as dead." He sighed and run his hands through his hair.

"I know... I know. Forget I said anything."

"Who would have thought you'd want to be spending time with a Hufflepuff. We're not so bad after all, right?" She tried to joke after a while.

He smiled at her attempt to lighten the mood. "Just you, I still think they are mostly idiots." He answered without really thinking, and returned to his work.

"That's not fair. You don't even have classes with Hufflepuffs now. How on Earth could you know how they're like?" By the tone of her voice, it was clear he had made her angry. Severus always tried to avoid the subject of her being on that house and he had done it quite well so far, but apparently this time there was no escape. He sighed and stopped writing to look at her frowning face.

"Juliana, when was the last time Hufflepuff won the House Cup?" She opened her mouth in surprise and raised her eyebrows.

"You can't be serious! What's that have to do with anything?" She said, not believing his words.

"If they can win the House Cup, it's because they don't get enough house points. If they don't get enough house points, it's because they hardly make anything worth them." His tone was so condescending that she had to ball her hands into fists to avoid doing something she'd regret.

"You are such an asshole, Severus!" By now she was furious, but he was getting angry too. He couldn't be the one who was wrong— he had been on the school for seven years and she had only been there for a couple months. "Do you really think house points are what measure how good or smart a person can be?"

"Obviously, Juliana. What else could possibly prove it?" He said with the same voice he had used the first time they talked, a tone that meant he thought she was stupid. She looked at him with actual hurt on her features and he knew he had done something terrible. "Juliana I—" He said, ready to apologize but she didn't let him finish.

"There is no need to prove you are smart! You just are! They don't need house points or answering everything to know they are! And you know what?" She said picking her stuff and putting everything on her bag with more force and speed than usual. She got up and turned his chair with a hard kick so he was facing her, bringing her face down so their noses were just centimeters apart. "If you tell someone that they are worthless every day, after some time they will end up believing it even if they're not. You of all people should know that." She left before he could even begin to think of an answer.

He cursed himself under his breath and left the library shortly after her.

...

"Are you okay Juliana? You've been looking a little down these days." Amanda— who was a friend she had made shortly after they were assigned as roommates— asked looking at her with a worried expression.

"Yeah." She replied looking up from her untouched food with a weak smile. "I'm just getting sick, I think." Amanda didn't look like she believed her, but knew best than to ask about something when it was obvious the other person didn't want to talk about it.

"Okay, if you need anything just tell any of us, yeah?" She said pointing at herself and her friends. Juliana gave her a little nod and a smile, which Amanda returned before going back to her food. Juliana looked at them one by one, deep in thought. How could anyone dare to call them idiots? They were, without a doubt, the best people you could find on the school. What was left for the world if being loyal, kind and hard working was considered the same as being weak and stupid? That was one very depressing thought.

After a while of playing absentmindedly with the food on her plate she put her fork down and bid everyone goodnight, leaving the table to go to her room.

She wasn't getting sick, of course, she was just sad. What Severus had said hurt her a lot. She knew this people, they were absolutely amazing. They just didn't want to be the center of attention and didn't care about being the best. That wasn't a bad thing, was it?

No. Of course not.

Almost everyone was still in the Great Hall having dinner, so Juliana walked alone down the halls. Or that's what she thought. When she turned the corner she bumped into someone's chest and when she saw who it was, she inwardly cursed. Of course. Who else could it be?

"Juliana. Can we talk?" Severus asked in a soft whisper, looking around to see there was anyone nearby.

"No. I'm going to bed, and we can't be seen together anyway." She answered curtly.

"Please. It's important." Severus looked at her pleadingly and she couldn't resist, so she just sighed and nodded. He grabbed her hand unconsciously but let go after a second, blushing and walking ahead motioning her to follow him down the corridor to a small door.

"A broom closet? Nice." She said sarcastically after Severus locked the door with his wand and put a silencing charm on it. He lit up the room with his wand and she squinted her eyes at the brightness of the light. "What did you need?" She asked crossing her arms and looking to the floor to avoid his stare. She really wanted to forgive him for what he said, but in order to do that he needed to be sorry.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said the other day. I've been thinking a lot about how I should apologize and I know I was wrong, and I'm so sorry for everything I said. Everything. I was being an idiot, I know it, and I deeply regret it. And I really don't know any Hufflepuffs beside you because for years I have been told that they weren't worth my time and that they were less than me and I just didn't know better." He took a deep breath. "But I know they're not. I know. Because of you. I am truly sorry for what I did." His wand was resting at his side, the light not quite reaching her face so he couldn't see the fond smile forming on it. When she was about to answer that he was obviously forgiven he interrupted her. "I— I understand if you don't want us to be friends anymore. And I promise I won't bother you again. I just wanted to make sure you knew th—"

"What!?" She squealed. "Wait. No. Stop. No. What?! I don't want us to stop being friends! Why would you even think that?!" Shit. Shit. Shit! I know why he believed that, she thought and felt suddenly guilty. "I just wanted you to apologize! Oh my God! I'm sorry if I made you think that!" She cried out worriedly and to his surprise hugged him tightly, burying her face on his neck.

They never hugged before, and at first he didn't know what to do. After a few seconds he left his wand on a shelf and hugged back, pressing his face on her hair and inhaling her scent. She smelled like coconuts and nature, and he immediately loved it. He closed his eyes and got lost in the moment, until she pulled away just enough to look at him. Their eyes connected and their noses were just about to touch. She wondered if he also felt like there was a magnetic force in the air that was pulling them together.

Severus didn't know what she was doing until he realized she was looking at his lips while licking hers, slowly beginning to lean into him.

"What are you doing?" He asked in a soft whisper but regretted it almost instantly, afraid it was going to make her pull away. But she stayed right where she was, still hugging his waist with him still hugging hers.

"Can I kiss you?" Juliana asked in the same tone.

"Yes, please." He finished and closed the distance between their faces.

Neither of them would want to say it out loud and admit that the romantic crap was actually not so far from the truth, but they couldn't deny what they were feeling. There were stars and fireworks and butterflies and electricity and it just felt so right. Juliana moved her arms to his neck and deepened the kiss as he picked her up, tangling her legs on his waist and pulling her even closer to him, moving forward until her back made contact with the wall, making it easier for him to hold her up. After a few minutes they were breathless, dizzy, and above all, happy. And in that moment, they knew there was nothing that could erase those huge smiles from their faces.