Chapter 17: Jealousy
Early morning arose and Cephera woke on time. She was still curled up around Shiaji but as she moved the cat shrunk down to allow her to move more freely. Cephera climbed out of bed and looked back to see Loki still sleeping soundly. She always wondered if he really slept that sound or if he just ignored her as she woke. It had been an odd few nights since Shiaji arrived. Loki had said more to her during those nights than he had in what seemed like their entire marriage.
When Shay joined Cephera to decide what to do with their day Fandrel approached them with a clear look of expectation on his face. "I've heard you like to sing." Fandrel said to her as he reached them. Cephera smiled and nodded.
"I do. Why?" She asked curious.
"I was hoping you might help me. I wanted to compose a song but I would like to have someone with me to help me sing it. A second pair of ears who could help me make the proper adjustments to tone or even the words." He looked proud of this idea.
"To what purpose does this specially compose song hold?" Cephera inquired feeling a little excited for him.
"For a woman. A very special woman." He said grinning that marvellous smile of his.
"I see." Cephera pretended to ponder her answer. "Of course I'll help you." She finally agreed with a short laugh. "When?"
"Now if you have the time." Fandrel replied. Cephera looked to Shay.
"Don't look at me. I'm not singing." Shay laughed. "I'm fine with you going." Shay said. They hadn't really had plans anyway.
"Now it is." Cephera declared. Fandrel grinned wide.
"Splendid!" He exclaimed offering his arm for her to take. She took it and he escorted her off to the grand music room just off the ballroom.
(Loki)
Loki was not pleased when he found out that Cephera had gone off alone with Fandrel. Loki had once been friends with him, although he now realized it was only because he was Thor's brother they accepted him at all. He knew Fandrel and his way with women. To hear of his wife spending her day alone with him was infuriating in a way Loki had trouble ignoring.
He took it upon himself to seek her out. He found them within the music room. He didn't enter he stayed just outside the archway and listened. He could hear her voices crystal clear singing and between pops of singing there was laughter. Loki hated the way their voices melded together in a harmony and then break to speak and then laugh and continue. Loki was clenching his fists in irritance. Of all the men in the world he felt somewhat betrayed that it would be Fandrel who would dare make a move on his wife. It strengthened Loki's belief that his so called former friends held little to no respect for him at all.
Loki wanted to go in there and show Fandrel that no one touches what's meant to be his but the moment he thought it he realized just how crazy he was sounding to himself. The women could do as she liked. In fact he had once encouraged it. Why did this bother him now? It was the same for the new animal she lavished her love and attention on. He hated the animal for that. Loki was slowly unraveling.
A burst of laughter from the both of them popped Loki from his thoughts and he growled and turned on his heels. He left the two in the room and decided he needed to find something to do to take his mind off the crazy thinking he was doing. He wondered if it was because he was so very alone. It had to be. He couldn't possibly be longing to be loved by the woman he so adamantly pushed away. Loki retreated to his tower. This was his place of solitude.
He opened his spell journal and began an extensive look through all his notes dating back many many years. He even pulled out his youngest journals to search for anything he could improve. Creating spells and potions was not an easy task. It took skills in thinking and patience. Loki was once known for his patience though lately he just seemed to find less of it but that was regarding the people around him not his hobbies.
Loki spent hours tinkering with this, that and the other thing before his stomach growled. Loki hadn't realized how much time had gone by. He left his tower and when he reached the dining hall, heading toward the kitchens to make a personal request to the best cook in all of Asgard, he spotted the two people he had been trying to forget.
From his current spot Loki could see Cephera sitting on the same bench as Fandrel. Loki was close enough to hear her laughter and their talking. Loki couldn't tear his eyes away as Fandrel picked up a small edible item from the table. "Open." He said to her smiling.
"No." She said shaking her head and waving her hands in front of her.
"Come now I promise I do not plan anything devious. I merely want you to sample this." He said. "I swear on my honor I mean you no harm or disrespect." He said his hand to his heart. Cephera sighed and opened her mouth. Loki watched Fandrel place the small ball on her tongue and allowed her to taste it. Her face turned down and her nose scrunched up.
"It's so bitter!" She said. "What is it?" She asked swallowing quickly.
"It's a delicacy here in Asgard. The spoils of a fight against a large beast, it's his droppings." Loki watched Cephera's face turn into a look of disgusted surprise. Fandrel laughed. "I'm jesting with you. It's a seed from a Tonbu plant." He told her. Her face got a mock look of anger before she punched him in the shoulder.
"You fiend that was evil!" She exclaimed. Loki had enough of this flirty banter. He strolled across the floor so quickly he startled them both. He grabbed Cephera by the upper arm.
"Excuse us." Loki said and forced her to her feet. He manhandled her from the room until they were alone outside it. As he walked on still pulling her with him he spoke. "You make a fool of us both flirting around with the likes of him. He seeks only one thing from you." Loki said harshly. His grip was broken when his wife yanked free.
"No!" She said in a hard stern and almost angry voice. "You can't do this Loki. You cannot speak of not wanting me and hating my kind and threaten to harm me for touching you and then choose to pay attention to me when my attentions are elsewhere! You need to choose what you want, you either want me as your wife or you don't. There is no in-between!" Her face had turned red. He apparently touched a negative button.
"You are a married woman! Start acting like one." He growled in return.
"Start treating me like one and maybe I will. Remember Loki I'm your wife by law only but in every other way I'm the punishment you don't want." With an angry shake to her head she turned and left him in the hallway. Loki had his teeth clenched together feeling his own anger surface. He forgot about eating and stalked off.
(Cephera)
Cephera was infuriated. Loki was the most confusing, irritating, childish man she had ever had the displeasure of meeting let alone be married to. She left the palace all together moving at a quick jog to the beach. Her feet were bare and the sands slipped between her toes feeling cool as the suns light was almost gone. She picked up a rock and gave it a violent throw. Her head hurting.
How could he do that? How could he act like she meant nothing but then pull that possessive bullshit and expect her to just accept his new treatment like it was normal. It was him who continuously pushed her to forget him and move on. It was him who made her feel unwanted and unworthy. She was not worthy enough to properly treat as his wife but good enough to try and control. He was a fool to think that would fly well. Cephera had not felt this angry in a very long time. His recent actions had begun to contradict everything he'd said in the past and she had no idea which was the real him.
XxX
When Cephera left the beach she went right to their shared room. Loki didn't move when she got into bed and she was glad. After she got comfortable and Shiaji nestled in his kitten form near her head she finally spoke. "I want to clear something up. Even though it's none of your concern according to your past words to me, but I was helping Fandrel today to create a song for a woman he is currently pursuing that is not me. Fandrel is a friend and nothing more. When I said those vows in that throne room I meant every word. I married you and I will not take another man to be at my side. That being said you need to decide just what I am to you because clearly you're confused." She had more she wanted to say. She had things she wanted to snip at him and maybe guilt him out but she held her tongue. Acting on her negative thoughts would not help this conversation. Venting on the beach helped her hold her tongue.
She felt Loki shift and he sat up to look at her. He looked to be thinking about his own reply before speaking. "I thought that pushing you away was the right thing. I didn't know you and I didn't want to know you. Right now I have only my mother that I feel has never judge what I have done in my past but then I realize neither did you. Not once did you even ask why I killed those humans or attack Midgard. I am beginning to think that perhaps I may have been harsh toward you. Perhaps ignoring each other is not the right way to go about our years together." Loki stopped. He looked to be struggling to hold back words.
"And this marriage? What of that? What of us?" She asked keeping her expression as void as possible. She sat up to talk to him properly.
"I did not want you as my wife and I still don't feel ready to accept you as that. As for us, perhaps we could start a little differently. At least find a medium were we forget the past and just learn to put up with each other." Cephera wondered if he knew how insulting he still sounded. For a man with a silver tongue he was certainly failing where his feelings were concerned.
"Put up with each other?" She said rolling her eyes. "You could have decided to get to know me or attempt a friendship of some kind but no your decision is to learn how to 'put up' with what you cannot change. I'm an obligation. We are obligated to put up with each other." Cephera was becoming irritated again. Twice in one day he was surely working her well.
"Perhaps 'put up' is not the right term..." Loki considered and looked slightly irritated himself.
"Look it's clear you're confused, I am too. Until you figure out what you really want, or find a way to express it better this 'us' is not a thing that's going to happen." Cephera turned and collided her head with her own pillow once more. How could one man be this confused?
"I know what I want." Loki growled. His attitude returning. "I want to be free to make my own decisions not have them based around a life made for me."
"You have a chance to make your life your own. Sure your options are now smaller but take Odin out of the equation and maybe you'd actually come to at least like me." Cephera told him. His excuses always went back to Odin. She was the damn monkey in the middle of this father son war and she was getting sick of it. Loki hissed at the mention of Odin. A bitter and sour topic to bring up but one he needed to hear. Shay was always telling her that this was why Loki was being so difficult. Cephera felt Loki lie back down his body rigid with annoyance and perhaps anger. Neither of them slept well that night.
Awesome response to my last chapter!
Keep the reviews coming. Love you all!
- Junebuggz: haha. Love the scoreboard.
- Cosplayer Hikari: it won't sink in that her cat runs on magic. Loki knows she was adopted by a race that are not human and can do magic. So the connection to the cat means nothing regarding Cephera.
- Female Wraith: as much as the marriage needs to be consummated they need more than that to be happy.
- Vulcaniumx: won't be long now. The emotional confusion drama will give way to a new kind of problems.
- Twifan 1987: your welcome! I really had to think of a good way to put Shiaji in. Making a funny chapter seemed the best. :)
- Hello (guest): haha. I thought it was appropriate though right now they say it with a sort of sarcasm.
- Otaku Wench: hmmmm or neither lol and I'm too addicted to not update everyday. :D
- Katarina Lillis: due to popular want I did bring Shiaji in. I'm happy your life is complete. :P
- Poodle Warriors: that would be amusing. Lol
- Nightmare of Cat: leave it to an animal to be the first one to silently get through to Loki. :P
- Akera Writer of the Night: how can I write a story if you have my muse captive?
- Stephanie D: welcome! I extremely happy to hear you're enjoying this. As for Loki's senses that won't be long more. I won't make you guys wait forever. Hehe
- Gfor097: I missed you. Glad you're all caught up! And thanks for the belated bday wishes. :)
- Doctor Loki Love: excited that you laughed and I helped with that. :)
- Shattered Soul 37: He is. He totally is.
- Miss Padawan: I love when I managed to make you guys laugh! I though Shiaji was a nice added button pusher for Loki. Lol
- Celestial Wolves: I do update everyday! And if there is any reason I cannot I always try to let you guys know! Happy reading :)
- Reneemm: Loki is defiantly feeling some inner distress now. And it's not so much that Cephera is detached she's more fed up with dealing with his dismissing of her and has decided to let him come to her if he really wants to.
- Loki's Dreamer: haha. He's such a fluffy multi purpose cat. :) and yeah Loki's jealous over the attention she gives the animal.
- Jubchili: it's not that I try to focus on the sex. But in my retrospect regarding royals it's important to have a consummated marriage to seal the union. It's important to Cephera for this to occur. It's also doesn't help that she has tried just getting to spend time with Loki or talking to him but he wanted nothing of it. In some way she thought 'sealing the deal' so to speak would help her create a more solid marriage. This actual situation about the sex will actually be brought to everyone's attention later. It is one of many obstacles to over come. There will be further exploration but first a break through needs to happen. :)
I do so hope you continue to read and enjoy the fic. I hope how I bring it all together will be satisfying.
- 88 Dragon 06: I thought a light hearted, funny chapter was due. :)
