Hello people and welcome vivelaine and sillystring-roxs-the-earth! Thanks for following the story!

And special thanks and a virtual hug to vampirela69 for reviewing! You are fantastic!

Here's the next chapter, tell me what you think if you have some time! :)

P.S. I'm kinda feeling like clarifying that Juliana's thoughts are on Portuguese... even if I write them in English and they're not bold like I said lines spoken in Portuguese are. Soooo... that's it.


XIII
Cracking


Juliana was aware that she was still unconscious, and no matter how much effort she put into it, she just couldn't wake up. She tried to hear something, but very soon that proved to be a very difficult and tiring task. What wasn't tiring, however, was feeling.

She felt.

She felt the gash on her back giving her terrible pangs of pain that came without warning like a lightning bolt and left an ache that stayed for a long time. She felt the soft gauze wrapped on her body. She felt the material of the sheet covering her, making her body feel warm.

But what she felt more than anything else was the beautiful sensation of a pair of familiar lips on her forehead.

He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here. He's here.

He's here. With me. He's here.

Severus. Severus. Severus. Severus, can you hear me? Severus. Please. Don't go. Severus.

She tried to say something with all the strength she had, but she knew it wasn't working.

God, no. Please. Please. Come on.

"Severus."

But he didn't come back.

...

Severus was released at noon, like he had been told. And while Madam Pomfrey did the last check on him, he dared to ask about Juliana.

"Is the girl any better?" He asked, trying hard to sound indifferent.

"Well, the wound is closing nicely. Her mother is coming today, and... I don't know why I just told you that. You're good to go." She said, taking a few steps back.

Her mother is coming. I'm dead.

No, she knows no one can know about us. She's not going to seek me out. And he doesn't know why Juliana was attacked. Should I tell her?

NoI can't. I just can't. I can't face her when all of this happened because of me.

Severus left the infirmary feeling conflicted. Her mother deserved to know why her daughter was attacked, but how was he going to tell her if he didn't even know everything about the situation himself?

As he was making his way through the hallways, he came across the last person he wanted to see.

"Severus!" Avery greeted, as if he was an old friend. "I was just looking for you. Are you feeling better?" He asked in a false concerned tone. When Severus opted for narrowing his eyes instead of answering, he continued talking. "I think a walk through the grounds of Hogwarts will do you some good. And I just happen to have a free period right now." He finished with a friendly smile that didn't succeed on masking his real intentions. Severus knew better than to decline, so he just followed him in silence.

"What do you want?" He asked in a low voice as soon as they were away enough from any prying ears.

"Can't I just walk with a friend?" He asked sardonically, his words poisonous. Severus remained silent. "Yeah, well, you got me there. You know what? I think you already know the answer." He was right, Severus already knew what he wanted; he wasn't really hard to figure out. "School is ending in two months, and I don't know about you, but I already made plans for my future. If you know what I mean." Severus didn't respond, but he did know. "Have I ever told you how good you are at Potions? You know, a skill like that can be very useful— for the right people, of course." He said, being purposefully vague.

"Get to the point." Severus hissed angrily, stopping abruptly.

"Okay, okay." Avery answered with a laugh that soon turned into an evil sneer. "You will join his cause, Severus. As soon as school is over. And you don't get to say no, because if you do... she pays. You know... I'd be more than happy to show her how a real man does it. I would love to have her begging for my mercy. But obviously, I won't need to do that if you don't try to be a hero."

Severus closed his eyes tightly, swallowing hard to stop himself from vomiting.

"I'll do it."

...

Juliana was sure it was her mother's voice the one she was hearing. That made sense, the school had probably told her about the attack, and she traveled to see how her daughter was doing.

I wonder what they will say to her. She knows about the danger Severus and I would be on if Slytherins knew about us. Maybe she can make a deduction?

But Isabel's mind wasn't working well enough to make any deductions after seeing Juliana looking like she was dead on her bed. She didn't realize anything. All she could do was ask herself how someone could harm her daughter like that.

She'll want to take me back to Brazil. But the year is about to end. I really hope she doesn't.

And after a long talk with Dumbledore, Isabel decided to let Juliana finish the year. But Juliana didn't know that— all she knew was that in a second her mother had kissed her head and in the next she couldn't feel her there anymore.

I hope Severus is alright. God, what if he already talked to Avery? What if I can't see him anymore?

If only she had known how right she was.

...

It was a week after the attack when Juliana was finally able to open her eyes again, and Madam Pomfrey was at her side in a second.

"Oh, dear. You are awake." She said with a relieved sigh. She checked on her for a few minutes, giving her enough time to wake up completely.

"What day is it?" Juliana asked and was surprised to hear her strained voice. She tried to cough, but her mouth was almost completely dry. "How long was it?"

"Here, take this." Madam Pomfrey commanded, handing her a glass of water that she drank slowly. "It's been seven days." She answered carefully, and Juliana's eyes widened.

"Seven days?! What?!" She practically yelled sitting up suddenly, which only served to make her feel a sharp pain on the skin of her back that made her scream.

"Oh my. Go easy on that. You were hurt pretty bad. Now, I need to ask you a few questions." Juliana took a deep breath, getting ready for what was coming. "Do you remember anything from that night?"

"I only remember my back burning and people screaming Crucio." She answered and Madam Pomfrey's eyes widened in an instant. "Nothing else. I screamed and then blacked out. I didn't see anyone." She finished, trying to be as convincing as she possibly could.

"You didn't see anyone? You don't even know how many people attacked you?" She asked, her voice an octave higher.

"No." Juliana replied dryly.

"Okay." Madam Pomfrey paused for a second and then moved to sit on the bed, clearly trying make her feel less uncomfortable. "Juliana... I must ask you what were you doing up that late walking through the hallways dressed on regular clothes?"

Okay, here it comes. She thought.

"I have not been sleeping as much as I should. I'm not doing very well on my studies, so I thought that maybe walking would help me clear my mind. I know it's not allowed, but I thought that if I did it one time, I wasn't going to hurt anyone. And I didn't— except for myself." Juliana answered feeling very pleased with how sad her last sentence was, and also surprised of how sincere it sounded. The look on the older woman's face showed that she had believed it completely.

"Okay, that's enough for today. You still need to rest. The wound on your back is not fully healed yet. Try to get some sleep." Madam Pomfrey said with a tight smile and left the room, but not before sending her one last pitying look Juliana pretended she hadn't seen.

...

Dumbledore came to see her later that day, asking pretty much the same questions. Except that Juliana was sure he knew what had really happened, and was trying to make her say the truth. She didn't and he eventually gave up, looking really disappointed in her.

After that, Madam Pomfrey made her drink a potion that her mother had left for her. She had to listen to the woman go on and on for fifteen minutes about how amazing Isabel was before she finally left her alone. Juliana fell asleep the moment her head made contact with the pillow.

...

She was dreaming about Severus again. They were hugging and laughing and everything was like she knew it was supposed to be. And then she kissed him.

But kisses don't feel like that when you're dreaming.

That was real.

Juliana woke up with a gasp and looked around trying to find him because she was sure he had been there. And he had kissed her. When she found nothing, she sighed and laid back again. Finding herself unable to sleep she turned to her side, trying to get more comfortable.

And then she saw it.

Sitting on the table beside the bed was an envelope that read Juliana on his handwriting. Her eyes widened and barely a second later it was already open on her hands. She lit up the candle next to her without even noticing, and began reading.

I'm so sorry...

...I had to say yes, you know what could happen if I didn't...

...we can't see each other anymore...

...please forgive me...

know you're the love of my life…

...I love you more than anything...

...don't try to find me.

Goodbye.

When she reached the end of the letter her cheeks were completely soaked with tears— the sobs making her body shake uncontrollably. As soon as she read the last word, the parchment turned into ashes in her hands.

"Oh God no— no, come back, come back." She cried frantically, the ashes already vanishing in front of her eyes.

In the middle of the night, while crying and feeling the pain of her first real heartbreak, she remembered one very important thing that would change her life forever.

The contraceptive potion.