I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of the chemistry that Demeter and Munkustrap shared. The way they spoke and filled gaps of silence, as if they rehearsed every pause and laugh. She was a sweet girl, I admit, and I have nothing against her, but there was some kind of anxiety that would knot in my stomach whenever I became the third wheel of the conversation. I was almost glad to see her go. Almost, but not quite. The goodbyes were more bittersweet than I would have predicted.

"Send me health updates so that I know how everything goes and if I need to come back." She said to me, a small smile on her face but her eyes somewhat sad. "And you," She turned to Munkustrap "Keep in better contact this time."

"I'll see what I can pull off but right now I'm trying to stay out of deep water."

"No excuses." She jabbed a finger at his chest before turning and walking over to her car.

"So, pardon my asking, but did you two have some kind of thing?" I asked somewhat meekly, moving out of the doorway and back to my perch on the edge of the bed.

"We used to but it ended because of… conflicting interests. But we've been friends much longer than any kind of lovers so it didn't end on a sour note, thank god." I could see in his eyes that he was reminiscing over something they had done in the past.

"Alright." He clapped his hands together suddenly, making the fur on my tail stand on ending surprise. "We need to arrange your living situation for when we're done hiding out here." He walked over to the center of the floor and lifted up a board, revealing a small telegram setup nestled in the hay. After a split second of being in awe of Munkustrap having been able to set up an operational telegram machine under the floor of a small cabin, a wave of panic washed over me. i let up from the bed, ignoring the pain that shot through my body at the sudden movement, and lunged myself at him while uttering a very loud and shrill "No!"

We both hit the ground with a thud, Munkustrap's body cushioning my impact.

"Mungo, what ar-"

"You're going to give away our location just like that?"

"I told you already, will you get off, I know how to send encrypted messages," I rolled off of him, situating myself on the floor, back to the front door. He brushed off his pants and readjusted his tie before crouching back down and setting up the machine. "Besides, this one doesn't go to a public or business based hub. It's completely private. And if anyone has it bugged they're going to be getting a lot of useless recipes instead of actually good information."

"Who does the message go to?" I asked somewhat suspiciously. I knew some of Munkustrap's close friends and a majority of them did not like me.

"Sadly, it goes to my brother." My heart dropped into my stomach with a disappointed thud.

"Oh my god no, send it somewhere else I will tackle you again I swear to god Munkus." In a calm manner Munkustrap pushed away the finger I had jabbed at him in frustration. His eyes heavily lidded, unamused with my outbursts.

"He knows how to get a lease without background checks in the city. We have no other choice MJ."

"You know what, I like this cabin it's a good cabin. I could live here and you could visit and everything would be fine and I would never have to be in the same room as that… guy again."

This time I wasn't even graced with a response. Munkustrap just put on the earphones and began clicking the small metal plate. I kept my arms crossed, pouting against the door. Munkustrap's brother was unbearable and I hated that he was our only option.

"I'd rather be declawed." I muttered.

"No you wouldn't, stop being a baby. I know Tugger can be a little hard to handle but you need to play nice."

"Why does he have to come here anyway? It doesn't make any sense."

"He's not. Once you're able to go off on your own I'm dropping you off at his place and he's going to help you settle in whatever apartment he can get."

"You're leaving me in the hands of HIM?" I stood up again, ignoring the dizziness that crept on the edges of my vision. "Without your supervision? I know you hate me Munkus but this is a death sentence. aren't you supposed to be, I don't know, a pacifist or whatever?"

"I am and you'll be fine. After you're settled and things seem to have cleared I'll drop by to say hello but that's it. I can't risk having too strong a connection to you right now. Not with both of our lives still in the red and everything that's going on with Demeter. I can't take anymore chances," He looked at the small telegraph machine as if it was his whole world, his eyes shining with the threat of tears, but I knew he wouldn't show that kind of weakness in front of me. "No matter how much I want to, this isn't the time to make sacrifices."

Awkwardly I covered my hand to his shoulder. Neither of us were keen on PDA or any kind of physical contact for that matter, but the thickness of the air and the painful silence that was growing longer and longer between us after Munkustrap had trailed off, begged me to at least show some sort of quiet gesture of support. I could kick and scream as much as I wanted about the situation, but it was a shallow complaint of discomfort, I could deal with it and I had dealt with worse. But I needed Munkusterap to know that. I flinched at the feeling of his hand patting my own in response but I didn't pull away.

"You have everything?" Munkustrap leaned beside the door with his arms crossed. i could tell he wasn't looking forward to the reunion either but was attempting to at least save some face, for my benefit. I patted my pockets and nodded. It wasn't like I had much anyway. Besides the clothes on my back and the weed and pipe Demeter had given me, I had nothing. All my money and identifications had been confiscated at the capitol. I made a mental note to get those back or at least reprocessed.

"Alright, Tugger should be here any minute. Be nice, do what he says, unless it's out of line then you have my permission to smack him a bit. I'll be out of contact for a while but should make a house call soon. However, if you run into trouble you'll have tugger's contact information and he can get to me easily."

"You're acting like I'm going away to military school we'll be in the same city for pities sake." While i was putting on a tough air, I couldn't help but feel nervous. I had felt so secure with Munkustrap in our small cabin these past few weeks. Sleeping alone again in an empty tenement would be almost impossible, I was so used to feeling his warmth next to me and hearing his soft breathing as we slept. To be honest, I was terrified of losing him.

The sound of wheels on gravel and the sputter of an engine that had gone too long without any maintenance broke my thoughts.

"That'll be him." Munkustrap muttered, moving out of the entryway and to my side. On impulse I put my arms around him, giving one last, uncomfortable hug before we parted for what could be months. He smelled musty and sweaty, and I was sure I smelt no better, but it was familiar and i was one who loathed to lose familiarity. He gradually returned the sentiment, letting his arms rest on my waist and giving a slight squeeze.

"If you die in these next few months, I'm going to kill you." I muttered, letting my anxiety come out. He chuckled in response. Our warm but short lived moment ended as there was a bang not he door before it immediately flew open and my escort to the unknown sauntered in. I slipped out of his grasp but let my fingertips linger on his arm for a second more before my hands fell to my sides, swaying slightly then jutting into my pockets.

Tugger was tall, taller than Munkustrap by a few inches, and most of that height was leg, and he knew it. Tight pants and a tailored suit jacket with a small scarf hanging loosely around his neck, adding to his forced nonchalance. It had been a few years since i'd seen the guy but my opinion was the same. Annoyed.

"Been a while Munk, ya know, it hurts when you only ever talk to me to get favors."

"Well, considering our choice of career, I'd say that personal affairs can justifiably be pushed onto the back burner."

"Oh so that's not what this is then? You a turncoat or something? No offense, I'll still help."

"This is personal, I'll admit, but not so personal that I don't know my place, now can you house him or what?"

"Rude," he leaned against the wall, getting comfortable for what felt like an oncoming storm between them. I perched on the small stove, feeling as if I should settle back in since this might be a minute. "and don't think I didn't see that touching moment through the window. I may be your brother but I know how people are in this city and god knows that if you're trying to make this a working domestic relationship, my help can only go so far."

"That's not what this is about you're out of line. I called you here to help me and a friend not get killed by our own governments, not accuse us of homosexual activities." Munkustrap began to fume, jabbing a finger against Tugger's nose, his face scrunched up in irritation and his posture becoming more rigid and ready to pounce. I stayed where I was, unsure of how to interject to prevent any infighting.

"Munkus you're supposed to go off the grid, not contract it. God damn dad's already gonna have an aneurysm when he finds out that you're a communist but the only thing he hates more than communists is homos. Jesus christ." I had to stop a moment, watching as Tugger pinched the bridge of his nose. Munkustrap had yet to deny his accusations and that fact was making my stomach churn in ways I didn't quite understand yet.

"Oh like you're in any better of a spot. Dad won't spend too much time dwelling on all of my sins when he finds out his other son is a communist drug dealing harlot." Munkustrap grabbed Tugger's collar, about to break his oath of nonviolence right then and there.

"ENOUGH." I finally shouted from my perch on the stove. "Tugger you're supposed to be helping me not agitating Munk. And you," I turned to Munk and shot him a glare "Who gives a fuck about what your dad thinks you're both grown men with their own forms of income. He doesn't have to know tomtit about your personal lives. I never understood that about you Americans. Always afraid of what your parents will think of things that you don't have to tell them and yet you are compelled to."

"It's complicated MJ." Munkustrap breathed out, exhausted and seemingly not ready to overexploit things to me that I didn't even care about.

"It's not complicated that's an empty excuse." I then turned to look at Tugger straight in the eyes. "And whatever issues you have with what you saw is to be kept to yourself because it's unrelated and, again, none of your corn shucking business. Even if me and Munkus were in a relationship, which I might add, we're not, you have no right to use that as a leverage against us"

Once the two brothers had settled down and resigned to staring off at uninteresting corners of the room in frustration, I let out a breath I had been holding for much too long.

"Now, Tugger, you're familiar with the urban scene in D.C. and we need an apartment and fake names and a way to live in the city without me being caught. I need to be able to get back in contact with my cohorts without the CIA getting a whiff go my presence. Can you do this for us?"

"Yeah, I know a couple tenants who can house you without question. Rent's not gonna be cheap though." His shoulder relaxed, his crossed arms falling to a lower and looser position right above his hip bones. The air in the cabin cooling down.

"That's fine just get us a lease."

"Alright, but what's in it for me?"

This time Munkus stood up, speaking for the first time in a while.

"I don't tell the embassy that you have a minor hand in the amphetamine trade in New York."

There were no more questions asked or even words exchanged. We silently walked out, me getting into the passenger side of Tuggers old car and Munkustrap driving away in his own vehicle after locking up the cabin. He gave me one more unreadable glance as his car passed us and sped down the road, giving me a knot in my stomach and sweat on my palms. There were things he wasn't and probably couldn't tell me about his job, but something seemed wrong and uncertain in a way that threatened my chances of ever seeing him again.