SECOND PART OF A DOUBLE UPDATE, MAKE SURE YOU READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER!
XIX
Comprehension
"I'm coming back very soon, okay?" Juliana gently said to Cassandra caressing her cheek lovingly, before starting to get ready to leave. Her daughter just nodded without asking any questions before throwing herself at her mother's arms. That was one thing Juliana always thought that made Cassie a very special child; she sensed when people didn't want to or couldn't explain something, and she didn't question their motives if she knew she wasn't going to get an honest answer.
"Juliana, are you sure this is the best thing to do?" Isabel asked in English as she approached her taking extreme precautions to not be overheard by Cassie— just in case.
"Mom—" Juliana turned to her with tired eyes. "I have to know what happened to him and I'm sure Albus Dumbledore is my best option. I'll just send him a letter and wait for him to reply. Once he does and if he accepts to arrange a meeting, I will be picking her up." Although her voice was calm and collected, she was betrayed by her trembling hands that didn't let her close the zipper of her jacket. Isabel looked at her with a sad smile and carefully put her hands down, closing it herself.
"Good luck." She whispered with a tense smile and Juliana nodded before hugging her tightly. She said goodbye to Cassie again and, with one last look at the two, touched the portkey and disappeared before they could blink.
...
She landed close to a cabin with an owlery just a few miles away from Scotland. She walked inside to the front desk and after a polite greeting, asked the old woman behind it if she could rent an owl. The woman nodded kindly and explained the prices and types of owls they had available.
"I just want one that will go as unnoticed as possible." The woman nodded in understanding and led her to the owlery, pointing at a brown owl perched up high on the wall. Juliana paid for the service and gave the owl the letter to deliver, staying in the dark room watching the sky until the bird disappeared in the horizon.
...
Albus Dumbledore sat on his office alone, looking disgruntled. As it was usual he was deep in thought, his eyes reflecting all the years he had lived and the many things he had seen. Right now however, his mind was focused solely on one man and what was he going to be facing in the years to come.
Tap, tap, tap.
His thoughts were interrupted by the soft noise coming from his window. He looked up and his eyes met with the ones belonging to a brown owl that waited patiently outside. He walked forward and opened the window, letting the bird in and grabbing the letter from it. The owl flew gracefully inside and perched up on a table, clearly having been instructed to wait for his response.
Professor Dumbledore
I apologize if this letter is poorly written or too informal, but there is an urgent matter I need to discuss with you and I can't allow myself any formalities.
I need to meet you to ask you about a very significant subject, and I also require your help.
I am currently waiting for your answer, if you accept to meet please state the place and time on it.
Regards
Juliana Souza
He re-read the letter twice, searching in his mind for something that could perhaps tell him what Juliana Souza could possibly want from him. He found nothing but he'd never refuse to help someone who asked for it, so he quickly scribbled an answer.
Miss Souza,
I will gladly offer you my help with any matter that I can assist you with. Nevertheless, your request was immensely vague; I would have liked to prepare myself better for our encounter.
I shall meet you tomorrow at 9 a.m. at the Leaky Cauldron. I've taken the liberty to assume that what concerns you is a matter that must be discussed privately, so I will meet you in room 25. Once you get there, knock three times.
I look forward to our meeting.
Albus Dumbledore
...
Juliana recieved his answer almost two hours later. Pleased with Albus' response, she took her bag and told the nice old lady— whose name she hadn't bothered to ask— that she was already leaving, thanking her greatly for her hospitality. She appeared in the place her portkey had taken her and touched it one more time, returning to her home in a matter of seconds.
Once she entered the house, she walked up the stairs and prepared some of Cassie's toys and clothes along with some of hers. She walked to the bathroom to get both of their toothbrushes, but stopped abruptly and looked at herself in the mirror. She gripped the sides of the sink with excessive force as she stared at her reflection. The bags under her eyes were beginning to show and her hair was messy and unkempt. Nevertheless, there was a spark in her eyes that meant she had recovered something she'd didn't think she was going to get back: hope for Severus and her. She washed her face and after drying it with a towel she closed her eyes and appeared on her mother's backyard. She and Cassie weren't there so she walked inside; correctly assuming they were going to be in the living room.
"You're already back." Her mother said surprised when she walked through the door. Cassie slept peacefully on the couch, tightly hugging her teddy bear.
"Yes. We're meeting him tomorrow at 9 a.m. London time. That's 6 a.m. Rio time." Isabel nodded and Juliana sat on a chair and rested her elbows on her knees so she could hold her head in her hands.
"Are you absolutely sure you want to take Cassandra?" Her mother asked, unsure.
"I have to take her." Juliana replied dismissively. "Severus worked for the bad side, mom. I don't know what I will be facing; I don't need Albus thinking that I agree with Voldemort's beliefs or something. She will give me the reason for wanting to know about him." Isabel accepted her reasoning still looking a little uncertain, but didn't question her daughter's decision any further.
"Do you want to wake her up?" She asked a few moments later but Juliana shook her head.
"Let her sleep. She'll need it tomorrow."
Sadly, Cassandra woke up ten minutes later and didn't fall asleep until it was very late. She was beyond excited about traveling, but when her mother woke her up at 5 a.m. she wasn't so excited anymore. Juliana gave her a bath and dressed her on warm clothes and a wool hat, placing her on the couch while she got everything ready, and she ended up falling asleep again. Ten minutes before six, Juliana had to wake her up again.
"Hold on tightly Cassie, this won't feel nice. But it won't be long, I promise." Cassandra nodded groggily and buried her face on her mother's neck. When they arrived to their destination, Juliana looked at her daughter to see if she was feeling like throwing up or crying, only to find her peacefully asleep again. She forced down the fond smile that formed on her mouth, knowing that it would end up being a full blown grin and it woud draw unwanted attention to them.
She walked through the doors of The Leaky Cauldron and once inside went directly to the room area without even bothering to speak to anyone. Once she reached Room 25, she looked at her watch and waited until it signaled it was six o'clock— well, nine o'clock. The moment it did, she raised her hand and knocked three times on the hard wood of the door.
The door opened a few seconds later and she was greeted by the sight of her old headmaster looking down at her with a curious twinkle on his eyes.
"Sorry, she fell asleep." Juliana smiled apologetically. "Do you mind if I..." She trailed off, pointing at the bed inside the room.
"Oh, please." Dumbledore insisted, inviting her in. She placed Cassie on the bed carefully and then walked to sit with him on the table.
"She is your daughter, I presume?" He questioned gently, a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yes." She nodded. "That's part of the reason I'm here." Dumbledore urged her to go on. She took a deep, necessary breath and began. "When I received the news of Lord Voldemort's demise, I felt the urge to communicate with you. You see, professor—" He lifted his hand to stop her.
"Call me Albus, please. You're not a student anymore." She nodded with a small smile and continued.
"Albus… I have to apologize to you." He raised a questioning eyebrow. "I believe you probably remember me mostly because of the attack I was victim of three years ago." She remained silent for a few seconds after saying those words. "After I woke up you asked me questions, and I didn't—" She lowered her eyes and sighed before looking up again. "I wasn't honest." Dumbledore's face showed no surprise at all. On the contrary, it looked like he knew exactly what she was talking about.
"Yes, dear. I am aware of that. I have the knowledge of the people who attacked you, as well. Sadly, I was never able to use this piece of information due to the fact that you refused to point anyone. I always wondered why... it was no surprise that many Slytherins weren't fond of you." She snorted and he smiled. "You had a different culture, a different way of practicing magic, and in addition, you were sorted in the house they always thought was less than the others. I feared an attack was going to happen, yet I must admit I never thought you were going to roam the halls alone at night, which ended being the very reason why I wasn't able to stop it. And I only found out about the rumour of you being in love with Severus Snape when it was too late. I have to apologize, too." Juliana only managed to gape at him; the words just wouldn't come out of her mouth. She shook her head in disbelief and frowned, taken aback by his answer.
"That's not— you mean—" Just a second later, something clicked on her mind and understanding hit her like a ton of bricks. "Oh my God. You don't know." She choked, covering her mouth with her hand. Dumbledore looked mildly stunned at her reaction, and even in her state she thought there were probably just a handful of people who had the privilege of seeing that expression on his face.
"I beg your pardon?" He asked warily, his eyebrows lifting just a tiny bit. But just as she was about to answer, she felt something poking her leg. Her eyes traveled down and met her daughter's inquisitive ones; she was still so short that the only thing that could be seen of her from over the table was the top of her head. Albus eyes followed the little girl attentively as Juliana picked her up and sat her on her lap, so she could face him.
"Albus… this is Cassandra." She smiled, taking the little girl's hat only to reveal a mane of messy jet black hair she fixed as best as she could. "Say hello my love." She cooed lovingly and Cassie's eyes lit up.
"Hullow." The little girl repeated with a smile, finally making eye contact with him.
Years of fooling some of the smartest and most talented wizards did not prepare Albus Dumbledore enough to hide the surprise on his features.
Those eyes.
Cassandra's eyes were identical to another pair of eyes he had grown accustomed to see everyday lately, yet there was one blatant difference: the eyes he was looking at now where filled with wonder, happiness and an cheerful innocence; the eyes he was used to were tired and only held pain, sorrow and hopelessness, something that made them look much more older than they were.
Oh.
Juliana Souza being in love with Severus Snape hadn't been a rumor— it had been a fact. And apparently, it hadn't been unrequited. Three years wasted believing something that wasn't the truth, believing something else entirely had been going on.
Juliana Souza was probably attracted to his intelligence and ability at potion making, a subject she herself excelled on. Severus, appalled by the thought of someone like her liking him had rejected her love and probably helped to plan the attack.
After all, everyone knew he only had eyes for Lily Evans.
That was the truth he and all the Hogwarts' faculty —as well as the now dissolved Order Of The Phoenix— had been inclined to believe for years; a belief that ended being confirmed when the Order found out that Severus had been the one who told Voldemort about the prophecy. And now Juliana Souza— whom he had pitied for years for loving someone who could never love her back— was telling him it had been nothing more than a deluded belief. And not only that— the living proof of a very real love was currently sitting on her lap, looking at him with a shy smile on her face.
"The night I was attacked, it wasn't only because they 'thought' I'd fallen in love with Severus. There was one person in the group of people who attacked me— the one who planned everything— that knew the truth. He found out that we were dating, and used this knowledge to lure him into joining Voldemort's ranks."
"Avery." He supplied, nodding once. It hadn't been secret how generous Voldemort's reward had been when he brought Severus to him. When they graduated, Severus was more than just gifted at Potions, and everyone knew that kind of skill was something Voldemort desired with passion and always welcomed with open arms— and high payments.
"The night of the attack," Juliana continued, "we were together. That's why I was alone at night. We always used the Room of Requirement. One of us would go first; the other would follow about half an hour later. We had done this dozens of times already; I never thought something like that could happen." She shook her head, rubbing her eyes with one hand. "We were always careful, but the potion I was drinking had to be taken after." She implied; there was no need to clarify what she meant. "And I never made it to my room." She finished with a stiff smile, hugging her daughter tightly and kissing the top of her head. The little girl smiled at her, oblivious to what was happening in the room.
They both remained quiet for a long time, Albus taking in everything she had said while she waited patiently for him to fully process it.
"How, I must ask, did Avery found about you two? Do you know?" She sighed deeply and Albus realized that she did and it was not good.
"I didn't know at first, and I spent a long time searching through my memories for something we could have done that gave us away. I didn't find anything like that but— well, there was one thing I reckon was probably the cause." She took a deep breath. "Sirius Black knew about us." Dumbledore's face turned cold instantly at the sound of that name. "He had this map... I'm sure you know about it?" Dumbledore nodded curtly and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "We must have appeared together in it several times because one night he followed us and I— I made him promise to not say anything to anyone and I swear I'm almost sure he didn't because I don't believe that wasn't how Avery found out." She kept quiet for a few moments, trying to find the strength to speak. "I was coming back alone from Hogsmeade one day, not long before I was attacked. He was drunk. He tried to kiss me, but I refused." Dumbledore had a hard look on his face. "He said something about me and Severus being Hogwarts happiest couple. I don't remember it exactly... but it doesn't matter. The thing is that he made very clear that we were dating. And I thought no one was around to hear him but— I couldn't really be sure. I just… well, I mean... it doesn't make sense that he didn't tell you about us once we were out of school."
"It makes more sense than you think, Juliana. We all believed that Severus had planned your attack and I don't believe Sirius would've felt any guilt for not telling the truth. But don't worry about him; he will be paying for his crimes very soon." Albus replied, his voice as stony as his face looked.
"I'm sorry... what?" Juliana questioned, deeply confused.
"My dear…there is so much you don't know yet..." He whispered cryptically to himself and this time Juliana did not restrain herself from rolling her eyes. Cassandra had begun to doze off again, so she stood up and placed her on the bed again, where she fell asleep. Once done, she returned to the table, sitting across from him with her eyebrows furrowed in frustration.
"I just want to know what happened to Severus." She demanded, sitting straight in her chair. "Is he alive?" She asked sternly looking straight into his eyes.
Dumbledore just stared at her for some time, but Juliana did not budge and held his gaze the whole time. And then, after taking one deep breath, he finally began telling her what had happened in the three years she had been in Brazil.
And even though her heart ached for everyone who had suffered losses, pain and tragedy, it ached much more for Severus. 'This is horrible, disgusting, despicable' one piece of her mind thought constantly as it processed the reign of terror Voldemort had conducted, while the other one— bigger and louder than the other— couldn't help but think 'my love, what have they done to you all this time? What kind of horrors have your eyes witnessed? What kind of despicable acts have you performed? How tarnished did your soul end?'
Albus Dumbledore knew many things, and as he saw Juliana sitting in front of him— cheeks soaked with tears— he remembered that he knew that when someone cries in silence, it's because they cannot stop themselves. The pain cuts deep within them.
And she was absolutely devastated.
"But— he told you? He said that he had told Voldemort about the prophecy?" She sobbed, reluctant to believe Severus would do something like that. In her heart she knew that if he ever learned about some way to stop Voldemort, he would not throw it away like that.
"He made it quite clear, my dear." She shook her head, refusing to accept it as true.
"No, Albus. Something's not right." She countered, frowning and looking down before finding the old man's eyes again. "I need to see him. I need to talk to him. He— he has to know about her." She pleaded, glancing at Cassie's sleeping form on the bed.
"Ah… yes. And I must ask you to wait, dear. But just until after the trials are done." She looked very unwilling to do this, but finally accepted. Then, Albus face turned somber. "I have to warn you, Juliana. He is not the man you remember. He has seen and done too many things to still have his soul intact. His spirit is—I dare not say irreparably but... gravely broken. The guilt of Lily's death is eating him alive." Her bottom lip trembled as the tears came flooding again. "You still love him?" He questioned softy and she looked as if he had just slapped her, disbelief etched clearly on her features.
"Do you really need to ask?" She replied unbelievingly and remained silent after that, trying to calm herself down. Once she finally recovered, she looked up to find his stare still fixed on her. "Are you going to help me?" He nodded immediately.
"His trial will probably be done by the end of the month. I will keep in touch with you. I strongly advice that you move here for some time, or the communication will become more difficult. I can provide you with a house, if you needed one." She shook her head dismissively.
"No, but thank you. You've done enough for me already."
"Juliana... you surely understand I need to make sure none of what we talked about today leaves this room." She nodded. "We are not able to make and Unbreakable Vow without a third party, but I am aware that there is an ancient Brazilian oath we could be able to perform." She nodded again and stood up from her chair.
"You need to make a deep cut on the palm of both of our hands." She extended hers and he pointed his wand at it. There was no pain whatsoever and the blood barely poured out, and for that she was grateful. He did the same to his and she held it tightly on hers, their blood mixing together. She closed her eyes as a blue light filtered from the recesses of their fingers. "On my blood I swear I shall not reveal any of the matters spoken on this conversation, or my life will be taken from me before I say the first word." After that the light disappeared along with the cuts on their hands, as if nothing had ever happened.
"I'll send you an owl as soon as we're settled." She said, picking Cassandra up from the bed. Albus nodded from his place beside the now opened door and with that, they finally left.
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