Chapter 28: Taking Chances
Loki sat in Thor's room. It had been a long time since he spent time like this with Thor. There had been many a night he sat there laughing and exchanging stories about recent conquests where woman were concerned. "Do you remember that busty barmaid?" Thor said laughing as Loki did the same. They had both partaken in quite a bit of mead.
"I do. If I recall you had intension of bringing her home and instead she left with Fandral." Loki said chuckled and downing another cup. Loki hadn't felt so free with Thor. He was enjoying himself greatly.
"Yes." Thor said. "The devil he is stealing my women." Thor roared in mock anger before laughing hard and chugging his own mug. He slammed it down and put a hand to his forehead. "Things are no longer the same." Thor said with a certain kind of melancholy. "Look at us. You are happily married, at last I might add, and I have lost the love of my life." Thor could be a very fun drunk or a very sad drunk. It looked as though tonight he would be both.
"Take it as a sign you are meant for a woman of your own kind." Loki told Thor. "It's for the best. Jane would have grown old and died in less then a century of your life and you would have had to watch helplessly." Loki added.
"I did not care. I wanted her by my side no matter those consequence. I loved her for who she was. I would have been happy to make her happy till her dying days." Thor replied. "You would not understand. You don't share the same sentiment as I do regarding humans. Your woman has been gifted." He sighed heavily.
"I understand enough. Before I had actually decided to give Cephera a chance I regarded the fact she was human, not knowing the truth at the time. I too was prepared to have her and care for her until she grew old. Finding out she would grow old with me was a relief after I had sometime to think about it. I may not respect humans. I may think them weak and useless but honestly for a race that only live for as long as they do I must commend the things they do within their life span. But sometimes something's are best left to its natural state. Jane felt she belonged with her own kind and so you must respect her decision and allow her to move on. There is another woman out there for you Thor." Loki said. It must have been the mead talking as Loki wasn't usually so open with his brother in such matters of the heart.
"I know, it's just I love Jane. Like no other woman before her she stole my heart." Thor's shoulders sagged.
"Give it time. I am sure I'll see that cocky heartbreaker return." Loki grinned and filled Thor's cup.
"It looks as though at this rate father will see no grandchildren for a very long time." Thor remarked. Loki didn't comment on this. Children hadn't been something him and Cephera had spoken of since those few years ago when they had that fight about them. They had simply been enjoying life together but lately Loki had been thinking. He loved Cephera, he never told her but he felt she knew it. His love made him feel guilty for denying her the chance to be a mother but Loki saw no other way to handle his trepidation. Though lately he'd been thinking about the options.
She still went into the city once a week to spend time and read to the children in the main square. Seeing her interact with those kids Loki knew she would be marvellous as a mother but he had found no options that made him change his mind. He even thought perhaps they could take in a child not of their own but even that didn't sit well with him. Not once had he spoken of any of this to anyone. He didn't want to raise hopes that he would one day agree to conceive with his wife.
"To the unknown future!" Loki said to Thor filling his cup and toasting. They knocked back another cup each and after a little while Thor came back to his fun drunk side. Eventually the two men ended up scrapping on Thor's floor in a battle between brothers. A friendly drunken battle. When loki finally went to his room Cephera had waited up for him. He was hours late to bed.
"Loki!" She said surprised by his disheveled state and the bloody wound on his head when himself and Thor had come crashing down into the armoire. The wood had splintered and both men had gotten injuries though neither of them felt it with the adrenaline of the battle and the liquor. "Loki what happened?" She asked him running over to him. Loki swept her off her feet and spun her. She cried out in surprise before he sloppily placed her back on her feet.
"No need for alarm love." He said. "Me and Thor had a brotherly battle." He said smiling. He was bent still holding onto her waist. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Who won?" She asked now looking amused but still slightly concerned as she touched the wound on his head.
"Neither of us!" Loki declared. "We both feel asleep on the floor before I woke and came here." He told her. He felt her fingertips touch the bloody open wound and he felt the warmth of her healing. When she retracted her hand he grabbed her hand and kissed those loving digits.
"Thank you." He said to her. She smiled and began to help him out of his clothing. It wasn't long before Loki was in bed held in her arms as he feel into a drunken sleep.
XxX
Loki stood in the doorway peering into the room where Cephera was learning her magic. Every now and then he would watch her himself to see how she was doing. He watched her work her weak magic and smiled. She tried so very hard. He barely remembered getting to his room the night before but he vaguely remembered her touch and the way her magic felt on him.
She turned her head and spotted him. She waved eagerly with a wide smile on her face and he smiled in return. Her teacher gave a respectful bow before snapping her back to work. Loki left her to her spells before he became to much a distraction and as he walked away a strange urge came over him. Loki stopped in his tracks and then after a thoughtful moment he turned to head the other way.
Loki reached his destination and knocked on his mothers chamber doors. Her servant answered and allowed him entrance. "My son." She said lovingly and hugged him.
"Mother I have an odd question for you." He said.
"What troubles you?" She asked hearing the tone he spoke with.
"The little knowledge I know of my heritage has come from bedtime tales told to children. I was wondering if we actually have any literature that has a more accurate detailing of the Jotun race." He said. She paused to cup his face between her palms.
"I was wondering when the day would come that you would want answers." She told him. She let him go and walked across the room. She opened the chest that held her sewing and craft materials and searched right to the very bottom. She pulled out a large heavy book and brought it back to him. "I took this from our libraries when you came to us. I knew one day we would need it and hated to think it might get lost." She said. Loki took the book.
"Thank you." He said. He paused then and hesitated on his next question. "Was I a big baby, for a runt?" Frigga looked him over as if trying to read his reasons for asking but she didn't ask him.
"Actually you were about the size of a normal Asgardian child of your age. In fact Thor had been bigger than you at that age." She told him. Loki nodded and left with a kiss to her cheek and another thank you.
XxX
Loki had been sitting at his rooms desk when Cephera had come in. "It's always exciting to see you watching me as I work with my magic." She told him walking right over and kissing him. He smiled at her.
"I like to check in from time to time." He said.
"What have you been up to all day?" She asked grabbing an apple from the bowl on the table not to far away.
"Research." He replied. Loki rarely kept much from her now though he still had past secrets. Anything new he told her.
"Sounds dull but I guess it depends what you are researching." She replied smiling and then biting into the apple. Loki nodded but said nothing else. He examined her all over. Her small figure forever unchanging as her eating habits and her day to day energy helped keep her that way.
"How well does your healing magic work?" Loki asked her catching her off guard and causing her to look at him with an odd look on her face.
"It's my best magic. I assume it's because I learned it from the same angel who blessed me." She replied clearly confused where this conversation was going.
"Cephera I once told you I would not half a halfbreed child with you. And that your humanity was a problem." She nodded the memory looked to be a sore one as disappointment flashed over her face. "That was only half truths. At the time I was more concerned with limiting questions or even conversations about the topic but lately I have been feeling slightly guilty for allowing you to assume it was all about you." Loki watched her take in his words.
"What do you mean?" She pondered.
"Before I fell from the Byfrost into the abyss I found out I was not actually born Asgardian. As it turns out I am actually a Jotun or frost giant. When I referred to halfbreed I more of meant a half human half frost giant child." He explained.
"So it wasn't me?" She asked her eyes slightly wide.
"Not fully. I do see humans as inferior beings but I also view the Jotuns as monsters. In a way I see myself as a monster. It was how I was raised. All Asgardian children are told horror stories of the war against the frost giants and so coming to find out the truth about who I was confused me."
"You're not a monster." Cephera said.
"I was. I was a monster to you." He told her. "I have changed since then however and now I feel I need further change." He paused thinking of how to word what he wanted to say. "When you brought up children that night I managed to insult you enough to run off, I was not just concerned over half breeds but concerned over what might happen should you become pregnant. I was a runt of my kind and I am not familiar with the actual size of a Jotun baby. There was a chance that carrying such a child would destroy you inside out or perhaps even kill you." Loki was slowly seeing Cephera's face change as she was beginning to realize why he'd asked her his very first question.
"You'd like to have a child?" She said a glossy look in her eyes.
"Would your healing be enough to help you should the child prove to much for your body to birth?" He asked almost hopefully while standing.
"I believe so." She said a strange bubble of laughter mixed with a sob releasing from her throat. Loki swallowed a lump in his throat right before she threw herself in his arms her apple falling to the floor forgotten. Loki held her before detaching her.
"The research I have been doing had to do with the Jotun people. There is not much information of children but there is some. I want you to read it before you make your final decision." He said to her. She shook her head.
"I don't care. I want this. The risk is unknown but I know my healing would allow me to protect myself." She said.
"Cephera you realize if you cannot carry the child to term we may need to decided to terminate." Loki told her. "You must promise me you will not fight against me and try to carry the child further if it means your life." He said holding her by the shoulders.
"I promise. There are ways to take a premature child from the womb before term and they would live. Midgardians do it all the time." She told him. Loki hadn't really thought of Midgard but now that she mentioned it he knew she was right. He knew a lot more about Midgard and their culture than he did about the frost giants.
"Perhaps we can use their technology to our advantage then." He agreed smiling. Perhaps this could work? Maybe, just maybe he could have a family. A real family.
"Doesn't it still bother you that they would be half human half Jotun?" She finally asked.
"No." He said honestly. "All that matters now is our continued happiness and I believe this is something that could add to that should everything go well." Cephera smiled and embraced him again. Loki kept her close for just a moment before sweeping her off her feet into his arms and practically throwing her on the bed. "No time like the present to begin trying." He said to her pouncing on her and making her squeal.
Wow this chapter just flowed right out of me! Hope you all like it. I love writing this one so much!
Review, review! I absolutely love reading what you guys think!
- Benfan 1: thanks a lot. I always liked to think Loki was manipulated in some ways. I. Not completely convinced he wanted to be a king over humans.
- Exploding Sushi 15: no worries my dear. :P
- Loki's Dreamer: I'm always worried people will get sick of Cephera but she's just as much my muse as Loki and I don't think she'll ever fade from my fics. And it is the first Loki fic where I made an explanation for earth.
- Gfor098: I got the explanation from a bunch of theories floating around and mixed and matched what I thought work well together and made sense. Lol. Happy you liked it!
- Akera Writer of the Night: I see. You've got such a crazy thoughtful mind. Loves it!
