"How many letters have you got left to read, in that book that you wrote to Maddie in?" Burt asked later that evening, I looked up at him.

"One," I said. "Then I lost the book, and I didn´t find it again, until it fell out of a school book, a few months ago."

"Do you wanna read us the last letter?" Blaine asked, I nodded slightly, and stood up to go get the book, which lay on my bedside table. Then I walked downstairs again, and sat down in one of the sofas. Then I opened the notebook, to the last letter, and started reading.

"Dear Maddie, Do you know how many letters I´ve written to you now, I´ve counted them, they´re forty-three, forty-four with this one.
You know, how I was told from the psychologist, that if I somewhere wrote letters to you, things would get better. I didn´t think it would, turned out now, that I was right. People say it´s get better with the time, but I don´t think it´ll ever get better. How could it get better without you here by my side.
I remember the psychologist asking me, if I would have the money to buy a notebook, or if I wanted one of his. I first said I wanted one of his, but when he pulled out a dark- grey- colored notebook, I changed my mind, you wouldn´t have thought it was nice Maddie, how could I write letters to you, in a notebook I knew you wouldn´t have liked? So I bought one myself, I spent all my money on it, but it was worth it. If you´d seen this one, you would have really liked it, it´s black, with some purple pattern on it. Purple was your favorite color. Do you remember mum always thinking it was pink? So everything in your room was pink. You thought it was so ugly.
Maddie, you died just before your ninth birthday. It´s not right that someone so young dies, especially not if they´ve got murdered… especially murdered by someone from the family, like you were.
Maddie, you were seven when she left, Zeb was eight I was nine. I don´t know why mum did just take Zeb with her, but whatever it is, I want you to know, it´s not your fault.
If I could turn back time, to that evening a couple of weeks before… well, you know what. Maddie, I heard dad and uncle Wyatt talk about their plans, but they were drunk, as usual. I never thought they´d actually do it, if I could turn back time, make something different, I would have taken you, and ran. I´m so sorry I didn´t do that Maddie, I should have. I´m so sorry I was such a coward, and I´m so sorry my fear cost us your life, Maddie, if anyone should have the blame it´s me. But don´t you ever think it was because of you doing something wrong, it was all because of me.
I´m sorry.
Love you forever. Big hugs from Lex.

I swallowed, I didn´t wanna cry, not again.

"I´d forgotten," I almost whispered.

"You had forgotten what honey?" Carole asked.

"That I heard them talk about their plans…. I guess I repressed it or something. I should have… I should have…"

"Lex," Burt took my shoulders. "It´s not your fault, it´s not."

"But."

"Your father is a cruel man, so is your uncle, there was nothing you could do to stop them, it´s not your fault, it never was and it never will be." I nodded, and sniveled.

"I´m gonna take these things upstairs" I mumbled, I laid the book with chords and the CD, from Mr. Schue, and the diary from the twins, along with the notebook with the letters on the top of Ned´s cage, and then I lifted the cage up, and carried it upstairs. I placed the cage on the desk, and laid the other stuff on the bedside table. In the bookcase, the computer I had found in my old house, laid. I suddenly got an idea. I took it, and searched for a simple- plan- song on Google. I found the chords, and sat down on my knees next to my bed, to pull out the violin- case that lay under it. I tuned the violin as fast as I could, and wrote down the chords for the song I had found, and took the papers and the violin and walked downstairs.

"I´ve got an idea… I found a song… whatever. This one´s for Maddie." I took the violin, and the bow, I put the papers on the table in front of me. Then I started playing, and singing. During the song I felt tears raising in my eyes but I blinked them away and fought my very hardest not to cry. When I stopped playing, it went all quiet.

"I´ll go upstairs with this," I mumbled, I took the papers, and the violin. And walked upstairs again, I laid the violin back in it case, and the papers I laid in my school bag. Then I walked downstairs.

"First of all Lex," Kurt said. "That was so beautiful." I sat down again, and thanked him.

"Though," Blaine said. "I thought of something you read in that letter, you said that when you´re mum left, you were nine, your brother eight, and your sister seven…"

" I guess, what you´re thinking about is… why did they have three children in three years, when they didn´t really want them at all… I have no idea why…. But, if you wanted to know, they had me first, at the 17:th of November in 2000 Zeb 16:th October in 2001, and Maddie, 16:th of December in 2002."

"So, Zeb is fifteen, Maddie would have turned fourteen next month." Blaine continued.

"Mum left, December the 15:th, in 2008 Maddie died, November the 28:th 2010. Mum took Zeb with her, I haven´t met either of them since then… When I lived with my dad, I could stand anything, then Mr. Schue took me from there, and I told him about Maddie, and mum, and Zeb, and dad, and Wyatt… I have cried, so much these last few months, much more than I did in years while I lived with my dad. How come I do that?"

"I guess," Carole began. "I guess… that when things are going on, you were so tense, and then when you got from your father, you started relaxing, started realizing what really happened, started remembering, and when you then relax, you cry. Just a guess." I nodded slightly.

"Sounds like a believable reason," I mumbled. I smiled a little, then took the box, with the converse I had gotten from Johnny, Anna and Amy. I pulled of my old shoes, and pulled on the new ones.

"Finn?" I said.

"Yeah."

"Why did you call me your little sister earlier, I´m not your sister."

"Actually, my mum is kind of your foster mum, along with my step dad, so, I guess you are kind of mine, and Kurt´s little sister. Why are you crying again?"

"You just made me really happy."

Playlist
Lex- Gone too soon- Simple Plan