Keep in mind, this is an AU of the main stuff, and in no way affects it. Nothing from the Main Storyline will make an appearance here, other than some characters.

I will be uploading two chapters per week [Tuesday/Thursday], since the chapters are so short.

Thank you for clicking this story, and I hope you enjoy! Please leave a review!


Part Six – We Get That a Lot

"Did they really just say what I think they said?" Jade asked as James got off the radio.

"Yep. They assigned Hamm and Cheets to Beary and Jewel's runaway case. Oh, gods, have mercy on those poor Barringtons and my wife." James shook his head. "This is going to be one hell of a disaster."

"What were they thinking, assigning those two?" Jade questioned with a groaned. "We'll be lucky if those cubs are ever found now. Those buffoons are going to make a mockery of the investigation! And I'm fairly certain one of them is wearing a fake mustache."

"There's a pool going on that," James grinned, winking at her. "Pool's up to $500 now."

"Where can I join in this pool?"

"Frank is the one taking money. When we get back to the station, go see him." The male black bear shook his head a bit, and flicked his ear. "Oh, I can't wait for Tasha to tell me how their first day of investigating goes."

"We should go buy some popcorn," Jade laughed.

"That would be a good idea, actually, but tell you what. I saw a coffee and doughnut shop not too far back. What say we go and take ourselves a little break?"

"You and your doughnuts!" Jade rolled her eyes and groaned when her stomach moaned. "Doughnuts and coffee, you say? I say let's roll, partner."

.~*~.

Meanwhile, back at the Barrington house, Dex groaned. His parents had just told him that two officers were on their way to get information on Beary. His father had not been too pleased on Dex's response of 'So they can put him down?', though, and while Dex thought about what he said, he realized it had come out wrong. He didn't want Beary dead. He just wanted him out of his house and life.

"Geez, no wonder they're always mad at me," he muttered, turning over on his bed, fixated on the empty side of the room where Beary usually slept. "I mean, I'm glad he's gone. They're being ridiculous. He's a wild animal trying to be civilized. Sure, he might be a bit more than that little brat Jewel is, but he'll change. They always do. I mean, just the other day there was a mauling."

Dex sat up and looked out his front window, watching somberly as a cop car pulled up to the curb, and two officers – one black and one white – got out and walked up to the front door. Maybe he could convince them to not bring back Beary? To show that he was just a wild animal?

The teenager hopped off of his bed, trudging out of his room and going downstairs to watch what he hoped were two smart officers who would tell his parents that they were crazy for having taken in a bear.

He was met with disappointment, however, when he discovered the cops were nothing but incompetent goofs that didn't know how to properly talk to him as a young adult, but only as a child.

"Sir, Ma'ams, we are Officers Hamm and Cheets. Yes, we get that a lot," one of them introduced. "Now then, can you please help us gather information?

Mr. Barrington was trying to console his upset wife in the living room as the two thick-mustached cops – like the kind you'd see in a movie – asked questions and took notes from things the Barringtons and Tasha said about the two missing cubs while nibbling on some of the assortment of food that Allison had brought out.

Dex took one look at the cops and their ridiculous mustaches and snickered.

"His name is Beary," Allison explained, sniffling.

"Beary? B-A-R-R-Y?" Officer Hamm asked, writing it down.

"No, no," Allison began, Dex hoping the officers would catch on. After all, there was a bear in the house already! Two of them! "B-E-A-R-Y, as in the German spelling of the name."

Dex paused, staring at his mother in shock. Was she serious? "Are you kidding me?! The German spelling?!"

"Don't you worry, young buck," light-skinned Officer Cheets stated, speaking very slowly, as if Dex were a four-year-old. He pulled an oversized plastic badge out of the pocket of his uniform and pinned it to Dex's shirt. "You're an honorary deputy now!"

"Boy, the kids on the playground will be really impressed," Dex responded, rolling his eyes.

Cheets completely missed his sarcasm and returned to his seat. "Now, do the children have any distinguishing marks?"

Tasha told the officers about her niece and her noticeably golden fur – a rare sight – and green eyes, providing a picture.

"Now that's a rare sight," dark-skinned Hamm spoke up. "A golden black bear? Very rare."

"Just like her mother," Tasha smiled. "Jewel is my niece."

"And where is her mother?"

"Looking for work. We haven't told her yet, as we don't need to worry her. I know Jewel has a cell phone, and when she's ready, she will call us," Tasha explained, though the cops did not listen.

"And the boy? Any distinguishing marks?"

"Yeah, he's got thick, brown hair," Dex interjected, trying to make them see sense. "All over his body!"

Norbert jumped in, shooting Dex a glare for his sarcasm. "We have a picture, if that would help?"

"Does a bear poop in the woods?" laughed Officer Hamm, proudly twirling his mustache.

Tasha growled a bit. "Now if that's not one of the most racist things I've ever heard in a long time!"

Jordan looked up at his mother in confusion. "Mama? What's racist?"

Natasha glanced down at her son, as if remembering for the first time he was there. "You'll learn when you're older, honey, unfortunately." She turned to the two cops. "I have half a mind to take you off Jewel's case and get a pair of competent officers!"

Hamm and Cheets looked at her in confusion. "Ma'am?"

"Don't you 'ma'am' me! You do not say such things! So what if we may sometimes go to the bathroom in the woods? Does it give you a right to joke about it?"

Allison and Norbert frowned, feeling very awkward, and Dex just groaned.

Hamm and Cheets were aghast, wondering how this had suddenly all gone wrong.

"The point is, you just don't joke about such things. I am sorry for getting upset, but officers of the law should know better," the black bear finished.

"Apologies, Ma'am. We did not mean it in a bad way. Just a turn of phrase, ma'am," Hamm responded, trying to save face.

"Apology accepted. Just remember to watch who you say things around." She put a paw on her small belly, knowing that it was her hormones that were getting to her – normally, she would have laughed at such a thing.

Dex rolled his eyes and watched as his father brought over a picture of Beary. Surely, the cops would realize NOW that his parents were insane! Everything would be fine!

"Well, would you look at the little darling?" Officer Hamm beamed.

"Q-T-Pie!" Cheets agreed.

That was it! Dex couldn't handle it one more second! He smashed his face with his hands and moved towards the door to the hallway. "This is such bullshit! How can you even think about bringing a new baby into this family where we have a pet frickin bear?! You know what? I'm going to my room, and staying there until I'm eighteen and can move away from this psychotic family!"

"Dexter!" Norbert called, but his voice fell on deaf ears as his son stormed up the stairs.

Tasha rolled her eyes. "If he were mine, I'd put soap in his mouth, but that's just me."

Allison sighed, thoroughly embarrassed by her son's behavior, and placed a hand gently on her baby bump that would turn into a new baby in about six months. What if Dex was right about bringing the new Barrington into the home? "We will speak to him later."

"Don't let him boss you around. He's young, but foolish," Tasha reminded gently. "I was about the same when I was younger. The stories I could tell you." She laughed a bit. "Pay him no mind right now, not when you have company, as such things should not be discussed in the presence of guests."

Norbert and Allison nodded, and Allison looked at the two cops. "Are you going to find them?" she asked.

"Ma'am, we'll do that and more," Officer Cheets responded.

Hamm looked at his partner in confusion. "How are we going to do that?"

"Huh?"

"What are we going to do? Find them twice?"

"Sounds good." Cheets snapped his notebook shut and stood up. "Let's get mobile. First stop, Country Bear Hall, as you've said that it is one place they might go. We'll have to get permission from the Pendleton sheriff to go there."

Hamm rolled his eyes, and followed his partner outside.

Tasha shook her head. "Those two... If they actually manage to do this, I will be impressed."

.~*~.

Reed Thimple stood in front of Country Bear Hall as the sun began to set, talking to his demolition expert Mr. Slamboni, a heavyset man with a balding head. Both men wore hardhats as they viewed the soon-to-be-demolished building. It was the perfect evening to another perfect day.

Ever since he had risen to power in the bank that serviced people from Pendleton and Nashville, he had been very happy to have demolitions and foreclose on many properties. While his small board of trustees would rather pander to the locals and give them time to pay their bills, he wasn't so forgiving, unless he made deals with them, with them ending up owing more to his bank than before, just to keep a roof over their heads. He also had very good lawyers.

His good mood was spoiled, however, when he heard the sound of hammering. Turning around, he saw that oaf, Big Al or whatever his name was, hammering a sign into the ground next to the grass. Thimple walked over to him and stood in front of the sign, reading it.

COUNTRY BEAR REUNION
BENEFIT CONCERTS
HELP US SAVE COUNTRY BEAR HALL
SATURDAY, AUGUST 3RD 8:00pm

SATURDAY, AUGUST 10th 8:00pm

"What's that?" Reed asked, giving the sign a bit of a kick.

"That there's a sign," the big bear responded.

"I'm aware of that! What does it mean, though? REUNION? BENEFIT CONCERT?" Thimple glared at him. Henry wasn't seriously thinking about doing what he thought he was doing, was he?

Big Al cleared his throat and spoke slowly. "Well, now, reunion means to rejoin or to remerge that which has been asunder and is now made whole again."

Reed stomped his foot. Henry could not be serious! Two concerts? Is that what his stupid secretary was on about this afternoon, saying that a demolition would be put on hold pending half the payment?! Damn it all! And they had approved this?! Going behind his back? Someone was going to get fired for this!

'Calm yourself. There will be a way around this. There's no way Henry will get them back together. This is a fool's errand, and he's the biggest fool I've ever seen, putting the Hall up for collateral on that loan he got seven or so years ago. Idiot. Should have just let his wife die in that car crash, rather than keep her on life support for so many years.' Reed quickly compiled himself and straightened his tie.

"Where's Henry?" the annoyed banker barked.

"In the bus, picking up the band," the bear responded.

Reed's blood started to boil. So it was true! No way was he going to let this happen! If they managed to raise the first half of the money, his stupid idiotic board of trustees had already granted Henry a postponement until he could get the rest! No one was going to ruin his demolition! Especially not those stupid bears! "You mean—he's not actually serious?"

"Oh, yeah," Big Al grinned. "Talked to him earlier today. Said he even got Rip Holland to promote it."

"Rip Holland? Really...?" Gears began to turn in Reed's mind. Rip Holland was a man in need of money. Henry probably roped him in with the promise of cash or promoting the band again. Well then, Reed would just have to offer him a bigger sum to not promote the shows. After all, those Bears ruined Rip's career, too, when they left him and went back to Henry. Why would Rip do anything to help up that bear? At least Rip didn't know that it was Reed's knowingly bad advice that had caused so much trouble with the band.

"You bet. Henry said we're going to have them concerts and raise those twenty thousand dollars so we can tell that little weasel banker—" Big Al stopped talking and covered his mouth. "Oops."

"Tell that weasel what?" Thimple demanded.

Big Al knew he had to change the subject quickly. "Oh, look! Over yonder! A monkey!"

Thimple, stupidly, turned to look for this monkey – for all he knew they actually had one; after all, they had a small wolf pack on the premises – and when he looked back after not finding it, he found Big Al shuffling away.

"Trying to run away?!" he shouted.

"Tryin'!" Big Al responded without looking back. "I may be chubby, but I'm quick!"

Reed groaned and rubbed his temples. If he was any angrier, he'd snap his posh bear-head cane in half and break something. As it was, he had to keep his temper in check.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, and dialed a number from long ago. If he could break up the band last time, then maybe he could convince Rip to listen to him again.

"Rip Holland speaking."

"Rip? Greetings... It's me, Reed Thimple. I heard that you are going to promote a couple benefit concerts for those stupid bears. Let's meet up at a coffeehouse in Nashville and discuss a few things. A new offering, if you will."