I stood petrified as Eric stared into my eyes while injecting my neck with the "tracking" serum. Every good emotion I felt in the past 24 hours was gone, I couldn't even remember that there was such a thing as happiness, I only knew one thing, fear. In reality, this quiet moment was only seconds, just enough time to take in one deep breath but it was agony. I needed to get away from him but didn't know how.
"I don't know what you mean," I managed to get out.
"Yes," he said, his stare intensifying, "You do know what I mean."
I couldn't speak so I just shook my head in denial.
"And after tonight, everyone else will know too," Eric hinted. He released me from his grasp and pushed towards the exit of the pit.
Tonight? Why did he tell me when they were going to use the control serum, if that is indeed what this is? Was he helping me? There was so much to consider, he knew what I am but hasn't killed me yet. But the bigger problem wasn't about me, it was about the hundreds of Dauntless members that were about to be controlled. They were going to be stripped of their free will and probably forced to be murders. I had to do something but I didn't know what.
Just as I reached one of the hallways leading out the Pit Christina and Will stopped me.
"ANNA!" should Christina. "We did it! Ahhh! I can't believe it!"
She was holding hands with Will. Their small embrace made my heart glow and then shatter. What was going to happen to them tonight? Could I stop it? Christina and Will where chattering away at me with huge smiles on my face. I tried to seem enthusiastic and carefree like them but I wasn't doing a good job. Neither of my friends noticed but Four could tell from where he stood with his friends about ten feet away that something was wrong. He walked up to us.
"Congratulations," he said to all of us then turned to me, "You know Anna, there are a lot of job opportunities with your high rankings. Would you like to discuss them?" He was perfect. He knew, somehow, that I couldn't talk about my issues with my friends, that I need him, alone. I nodded and followed him down the hall after giving Christina and Will a quick wave. I followed him in silence the entire way to his apartment.
As soon as he locked the door behind me I relaxed my fake, strong exterior and allowed the flood of emotions to consume me: panic, fear, concern, confusion and anger. I found myself sitting on the floor staring out one of the windows that had a majestic view of the city with quite tears falling from my face. Four stood looking down at me. He was rocking on his feet, anxiety or concern were not allowing him to sit next to me. I took a deep breath and started the story.
"Dauntless members have just been injected with the control serum, which will be activated and used tonight," I took in another breath trying to calm myself. "When Eric injected me, he told me it wouldn't work on me because of what I am. He knows what I am and said everyone else will know tonight. He didn't tell me anything directly but he was trying to give me information. I don't think he was lying or trying to scare me. I think," I said looking away from the city, away from my home that was about to be submerged into disastrous chaos, and looking into the face of the man I loved, I knew it then, I did love Four, "I think he was trying to warn me, to what end I don't know but we can't waste this knowledge. We can't sit by and let it happen."
He gave me a quick nod; I knew he was already planning what our next moves should be. We needed to shut down the serum before it was activated, or try to. I couldn't bare the thought of my friends being forced to murder, stripped of everything that makes them, themselves, just shells of humans, robotic killers. And, if we did get to it before it was activated, there would be no way for anyone to find out who was Divergent and for the time being, I'd be safe.
"We're going to need help," he said. "But it can't be just anybody. They will need to trust our word without a lot of proof because we don't have any. They will need to be able to keep a secret and unfortunately there can't be too many people because it will tip off the ones leading the serum project."
"I think Will, Christina, Zeke and Uriah will help. The rest will have to be up to you, I don't know anyone here."
"You go get Will and Christina, I'll get Zeke, Uriah and few others, be quick and discreet. Come straight back here." He was short and to the point.
I made it back to his apartment with Will and Christina before him. I filled them in on everything except about what I was. Even if we won today, it wouldn't mean being a Divergent was going to be suddenly safe, the less people that knew the better. Both of them were rubbing their necks where they were injected with the control serum and fear seeped from their eyes.
"I know, I never would have thought that Dauntless would do something like this. We're supposed to protect everyone in the city not control them. I think that the leaders have been manipulated my Erudite," I explained to them.
"So, what are they going to do with us once we are under their control?" Will asked trying to get the entire picture.
"I think they are going to have us attack Abnegation," even saying it made me feel sick. "Poor, defenseless Abnegation doesn't stand a chance if we can't stop the attack before it happens."
"We'll do whatever we can, just tell us what to do," said Christina. She was so loyal. Best friend I ever could have asked for.
"I don't know what is going to happen, we will have to take lead from Four." I said.
Four brought back a handful of people I didn't know. Some of them seemed to be surprised that Will, Christina and I were there but for the most part the greetings were pleasant. Zeke walked up to me and bumped me in the shoulder.
"Always knew you'd be a good one to be friends with," Zeke said with a cool smile. I didn't understand how he was so relaxed when so much was about to happen. "Thanks for letting us all know," he said in a softer, quieter voice so only he and I could hear, "and not just running to save your own skin. Four told me Eric knows what you are, you being here still is very dangerous."
"I know," I said. "But it wasn't really an option to leave, I can't abandon my faction, my friends, my family."
"Damn straight," he said laughing and punching me in the shoulder, "You are one of the truest Dauntless I've ever met, no matter what."
That made me smile, knowing that although something about me made me different, I could still be accepted and be one of them. He didn't treat me like a plague; he treated me like a Dauntless. Honestly, at the core of every faction, there are common traits. I couldn't protect the people in the city without being selfless. I wouldn't want to protect strangers if I didn't have love in my heart. I couldn't process situations quick enough to do my job of protecting if I wasn't smart. And I wouldn't know whom to protect without judgment. Everything is connected, it just seems that not everyone can see it.
"What do you think we should do?" I asked Four.
"Well, obviously, we need to get to the computers to stop the serum but it's going to be difficult and maybe even impossible," he said to the group.
"So, we need time and backup incase it doesn't work," I said processing all the variables of what is needed to attack an entire factions. "If they don't have weapons for us to use, it wont be as easy for us to kill Abnegation quickly or efficiently."
Four smiled.
"Good idea, Anna. We need to send a group to acquire and hide all weapons. That will definitely hinder the attack."
"Also, I don't know if it is possible, I don't know who controls them but we have to GET to Abnegation somehow… Can we stop the trains?" I asked. "Break them or control them ourselves?"
"They are controlled by Erudite," said Zeke. "But I've seen the schematics online, I think we can't break it." His grin was a tell-all, he was plotting some destruction of his own.
"Good," I said looking back to Four. "And if we can't warn Dauntless because it'll be suspicious and cause the leaders to turn on the controlling serum early, we have to warn those who are not injected. We have to warn Abnegation." The thought made my skin cold. The best way to warn and protect them would be to contact Marcus.
"Agreed," Four said. "Anna and I will go for the computers, try to shut it down. Will, Christina, Uriah and Tori, I think you should go for the weapons. Zeke go to Abnegation, warn them, try to help them find a safe place to hide. Shawna, Lauren and Chris, talk with Zeke and stop the trains. Sound good?"
"I…" everyone looked at me as I started to talk, I was the only person with objections. "I think I should be the one to go to Abnegation. They'll listen to me and I have an idea of where to hide them."
"Where?" asked Tori, a slightly intimidating tattoo artist. Her eyes were as sharp as the needles to uses to decorate people's bodies.
"With the Factionless."
Everyone but Four and Christina laughed.
"Why would the Factionless help Abnegation? They can't even look after themselves." Tori questioned me.
"The Factionless will help me. They know me and I know them. They may be the lost souls of this city but they are good people. They will shelter those who dedicate their lives to keeping them alive; they will return the favor to Abnegation. They may seem to be isolated even from each other, but it's just an illusion, they are a community, they are a collective, a faction of sorts." I spoke with such conviction that the room was quiet for a moment in thought.
"I don't think you should be alone tonight," Four said quietly but forceful.
"I don't need anyone else to get my job done, I know who to go to in Abnegation that will listen and who in the Factionless. The other jobs are more complicated and dangerous, they need more people on them. Besides, you and Zeke are the best with computers after working in the control room, if one of you gets hurt, the other will still be there to continue," I said rationally.
"But…" Four started to counter.
"We don't have time to debate. I'm small, less noticeable, I can get around the city easier than Zeke. This is a better option," I knew I was right, and he knew too, I could tell.
"Okay, make your plans within your small groups," Four said defeated. "Keep all things about tonight within this group. We can't risk being stopped, this is life or death."
Four came to talk to me as the others planned. We stepped out of earshot and stood close.
"I really don't like that we won't be together during this. I can't protect you when you aren't with me," his voice sounded like he was in physical pain.
"Who says I need protection?" I asked trying to sound light hearted.
"I'm afraid of you being with him. I think more afraid of that than the serum being turned on," his fingers were gently caressing my arm.
"He's not going to do anything when the situation is so dire. And I'm not going to him first, I'll meet with the Factionless, tell them what's happening and then to go Abnegation."
"I don't trust him," he said.
"If it'll make you feel better, I'll make sure that someone meets with us. I'll get the Priors to join me with Marcus, they're on the committee and very kind," I assured him.
"Do that and then come back to me," he said.
"Don't worry about me," I whispered looking up into his face, memorizing it hoping it wouldn't be the last time I saw him. "Just focus on stopping the simulation. Be safe. We need you, I need you."
We stared into each other's eyes, allowing ourselves to be open and vulnerable to each other. I wished we were alone. I wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to wash away all traces Marcus left on my skin, I wanted to connect to Four in a way I've never been with anyone. But it wasn't the time. I rose up on my toes, kissed him gently and said, "I should go, the sooner they're warned the better."
He grabbed me one of his black zip-up sweatshirts and a backpack with water, maps of the city and a little food. I was puzzled by the provisions he gave me. "Just in case," he whispered to me. "We don't know how anything is going to turn out, if it ends badly, you shouldn't return until the simulation is over. Less likely for you to get noticed."
I hugged Christina good-bye and wished everyone luck. I didn't know what anyone else's plans were but incase they failed, I had to succeeded in mine. Four walked me to an exit and looked at his watch.
"A train will be here in two minutes," his voice still soft. His fingers touched my face one last time, I closed my eyes soaking up the feeling. His touch, no matter how fleeting or gentle warmed my skin and raced my pulse. I felt his lips on mine; it started out gentle but became more urgent. We were both afraid that it would be the last time we would see each other.
I could hear the train coming up.
"This crazy, spur of the moment, plan better work," I said.
"He better not touch you or I will kill him," he responded.
The train was now only fifty feet down the tracks, I had to start running to be able to catch it.
"Goodbye Tobias," I said with one more, quick kiss.
Here I was, running from the man I loved, to the one that terrorized the both of us. As I leapt onto the train I wondered if my life would ever make sense.
