I guess we´ve all heard about Cory Monteith´s tragic death by now. And I just wanted to make a quick note to say that I wish that he rest in peace.

IMPORTANT NOTE

When I began this, the fourth season of glee hadn´t started yet, and that´s why anything that happened in the fourth season, or any further seasons "NEVER HAPPENED." It won´t make anything in this story, what happens to Finn now.

I sighed, and let my finger run towards the edge of the first letter, it was folded in the middle of the paper. Of course I got a paper-cut, I put my finger in my mouth to not get blood on the papers. I sat down on my bed until it had stopped bleeding, and then I took the letters, all of them folded in the middle, and the date on the side that I could see, and walked downstairs. I laid the letters on a bureau next to the sofa and then pulled my feet up under me. Then I reached for the first letter.

"You wanna read them out loud?" Burt asked, I looked up and shook my head.

"I´d rather not, but could you stay in here anyway?" All four of the others nodded, I smiled as a thank you, and unfolded the first letter.

31/12/08 Akron, Colorado
My dearest Alexandria
First of all, I want to say, how incredibly sorry I am for doing this to you. Not sending the letter, but just leaving you like that. I know I can´t make up to you what I did that night, but if it means something, both I and Zebastian are fine during the circumstances.
But still, I want to know, that not even an hour pass, without me thinking off and missing you and Madelyn, and I know it never will, you´re my daughters, and I love you, just as if you were my own flesh and blood, I always have, I always will, and nothing is ever going to change that.
I also want to tell you, that the fact that I left, was not, in any way, because you made something wrong, because you made nothing wrong. Nothing, and I mean nothing you or Madelyn did could have changed. I had my own problems, with myself, with your father, with your uncle. And all the problems with that, it just pushed me down more and more. I know there´s no excuse for just taking Zebastian, but I swear I will come back for you someday, when I´ve got a hang of my life, I´m going to come back for you.
I remember you, Madelyn and Zebastian always watching Shaun the sheep and discussing who the best character was, so I bought a Shaun for you, a Gormit for Zebastian, and a baby- sheep for Madelyn, you can put it in the microwave, and it will warm you when you need it.
You might wonder why I gave you an empty bracelet- chain, and that´s because that if there´ll be a long time before I see you again, I´ll buy you one new charm and send it every year.
I love you, and Madelyn with all of my heart, never let anyone make you believe something else.
Loads of love from mum

I lowered my hand with the letter, and took a deep breath, pressed the air between my front teeth when I breathed out. My hands were slightly shaking, and why, I didn´t really know, I laid the letter from 2008 on the table and searched through the papers to find the one from 2009.

"You okay?" I looked up when I heard Burt´s questioning voice, and nodded, I didn´t dare to speak, in case my voice would broke when I did, totally blowing my lies. I didn´t want them to worry about me, and even though I knew they would understand I kind of wasn´t fine at all. I told them I was. At last, I found the next letter, of course in the bottom of the papers, and then I unfolded it and read.

31/12/09 Bangor, Maine
My dearest Alexandria
A year have now passed since the last time I saw you or Madelyn. One year since I saw my beautiful little girls. A year without feeling your small hands in mine, one year without helping you pick clothes for the day, without helping you dress. One year without seeing your wonderful smiles, or beautiful eyes.
For any mum, living with their children, all those things, they seem like bagatelles, some of them are parts of the day that you just have to get through to move on with the day. But when you´re living without your children, they´re the things you miss the most. The parts of every day that you can´t experience when the children aren´t with you. Like you and Madelyn aren´t with me.
Maybe it´s wrong of me to put all of this on you, it´s my own fault I´m not with you, and you´re just nine years old… holy mother of god. You´re nine years old, soon, you´re not going to be my little girl anymore, soon you´re going to be an adult. But, now when I think about it, you´re always going to be my little girl.
The presents I sent you this year, a springy, a jewelry box with a ballerina, and a locked with the shape of a heart.
I saw the springy, it´s colored as the rainbow, and remembered two things, how you, Zebastian and Madelyn always used to play with springys and how I once saw you sitting on the stairs to our front house, and were looking at the clearest, brightest and biggest rainbow I´ve ever seen. You told Madelyn a story. About what the rainbow´s really are, you told her a story about fairies, that only could spread their wings, when wet. And the fairy´s had wings in all the rainbow´s colors, so when it was raining, the fairies could spread their wings out, and when the sun shined on them, they created a rainbow. I don´t remember all the details, but I remember it was one of the most beautiful stories I´ve ever heard.
When I found the jewelry box, I remembered how you and Madelyn, maybe you were six and four years old, maybe a bit older. I had bought ballerina- skirts for you, you had one that was too small since before, you two were dancing around in the living room, and then Zebastian and your father came home, your father went to the bar with your uncle Wyatt shortly after. And then you and Madelyn dressed Zebastian in your old skirt, and you all three, even though Zebastian thought it was a bit embarrassing.
The last present for this year is a charm for the chain, it´s a heart, and it represents all my love for you.
Loads of love from mum

I laid the second letter on the table, and leaned back in the sofa, then took a deep, shaky breath.

"I need a moment to myself," I stood up, and before the others could react, I grabbed my jacket, and walked outside to sit down on the stairs in front of the house, and breathe some fresh air. I sat down on the stairs, crossed my arms and laid them on my legs, and then leaned my chin against my arms.

I sat like that for a couple of minutes, and didn´t look up until I heard the door open, Blaine came out and sat down next to me.

"You okay?" he asked, I nodded.

"Yeah, it´s just a bit overwhelming to read those letters. It… reminds me of stuff." Blaine nodded, and then took a deep breath.

"You know…. Have I ever told you about my family?" I shook my head.

"Well, in my family there´s me, my mum, my dad, and Cooper, my brother who´s eight and a half years older than me." I nodded. Blaine continued. "My dad… he sure is a special man, I`m not claiming that he´s even half as bad as yours, but sometimes, he can be pretty aggressive. And… once, when I was seven or eight and Cooper maybe fifteen or sixteen. My mum and dad got into a big fight, about the hundredth one. And, my mum took Cooper, and went out the door, and drove away without a word… for two months, we didn´t hear a sound from either mum or Cooper. I thought they had left us for good, and I did my best to get through day after day. Then one morning when I got up, mum and Cooper were home again, mum hugged me, long and hard. But except for that, and that Cooper gave me this super- cool and expensive action doll, it was like those two months had never been. But I remember… that I was so afraid, that I would never see my mum or my brother again, so afraid I didn´t care about what my dad, or the bullies in school did to me." Blaine silent. I continued to lean my chin on my arms, and tried to figure out what to say.

"So… you kind of know what it´s like…" I said after at least two minutes of silence. Blaine shrugged.

"Kind of I guess… But what I also wanted to say, that… even though I was so afraid, I always knew they´d come back, because they´re my family, and families are there for each other… and I guess we´re your family…" Blaine took my hand, and pressed it. "..So we´re going to be there for you, whatever happens, I promise." I hugged Blaine and then stood up.

"So, what you say…. Should I go back and keep on reading?" I asked. Blaine shrugged.

"If you want to."

"I kind of want to."

"Then you should." Together with Blaine I walked into the house again, and when we came into the living room I remembered something and I turned to Blaine.

"Blaine? Is your brother Cooper Anderson?" Blaine sighed.

"Yes."

"Isn´t that, that superhot guy who plays the lead role in that new, extremely popular movie."

"You say that one more time and I´ll tell Tyler you called another guy superhot."