A/N: I am sorry that it has taken me so long to post this. I hope you are all still reading and enjoying!

The simulations were continuously getting worse, wearing down my mind and breaking my soul but there was always moment of clarity allowing me to realize that none of it was real. Being thrown into the emotional turmoil of simulations day after day started to make me feel empty, hollowed. Writing helped me remember who I am.

By my hazy records I had been in the Erudite headquarters for three weeks before my world was turned upside down yet again.

I put up no fight when I was walking to the lab where I was tortured or as I poetically named it, the room of horrors. I had gotten to the point of brutalized numbness. My life was a series of painful experiences with the occasional slightly uplifting visit from Eric. It amazed me that Eric of all people could lighten my spirit.

We were halfway to the room of horrors when I saw something that speed the beat of my heart: Four. At least, it looked like him in blue Erudite clothing, but he was out of sight so fast I wasn't sure what to believe. That is, until I saw about five Factionless dressed in Erudite blue clothing. They were trying blend in with the Eurdites, but I've spent so much time with them in my life that I knew them immediately.

As we turned the last corner on our way to the room, the Factionless jumped my guards.

"Anna darling, it's time to go," one of them said to me.

Tripping over the bodies of my guards I followed the Factionless back down the hall we came from. They were running and it was hard for me to keep up, I was out of shape and my stamina was nonexistent. As we past my room I ran into it, leaving my Factionless saviors, to grab my pad of paper, my story. I couldn't leave it, it saved me, I'm sure I would have lost my mind without it. Without a mind, what is life?

I was in and out in seconds but the Factionless were already turning the corner about twenty feet ahead of me. I ran to catch up and the sound of feet behind me spurred me faster. My curiosity got the better of me; I looked to see who it was, Four. My heart stopped and so did my feet.

"Run," he commanded.

And I did.

We didn't stop running until we came the building where I met with the Factionless about Abnegation. Once inside Four wrapped me in his strong arms while muttering my name over and over again. It was warm, it was safe, and it felt like home. The overwhelming comfort was alarming and I pulled away. My heart was racing and breathing was a struggle.

"Is this real?" I asked panicked, "Am I awake? Is this a simulation?" I backed myself into the wall trying to get away from Four. Each step he look closer to me felt threatening. "Jeannine!" I shouted looking up, searching for an out. "Jeannine! Let me out, I can't tell, you did it, just let me out, please!"

Four went to grab me, to calm me or quite me. I ran from him. Each room I went into had people sleeping, lounging or chatting. There were people. Real people. Or were there? I couldn't trust myself. I found a closet and shut myself into it.

I rested my notebook on my knees and laid my head on it. I played through my day trying to remember if I was injected with a simulation. I went through everything and realized, this was real. I was humiliated that it took me so long to figure out this was reality. I came out of the closet an hour later with my head hung and tears filling my eyes. Four was waiting outside the door.

"I'm so sorry," I said quietly. "This is real, I know this is real."

He took me in his arms again and I broke down.

"Thank you," I said after a while, "Tobias, thank you, so much."

Four took me into a room where Factionless lay sleeping on the ground. He took me to a corner where I fell asleep in his arms. I felt loved, I smelled cinnamon and realized Eric was wrong, I would never get tired of Four.

"She's broken," I heard a harsh woman's voice say. "She didn't even know if this was reality or a simulation. She can't be trusted to fight in this war anymore, she's broken."

I was waking from a heavy sleep that seemed to keep my soul and body pinned to the ground.

"She isn't broken," Four countered. "She was held captive for almost a month with them toying with her brain. She was in shock. She didn't know we were coming."

"Tobias, I am not jeopardizing the future of this city because you have a crush you aren't willing to give up," spoke the woman again.

"Mom, you don't know her, she's special," Four said.

"Hah!" she laughed. "Special! Son, get real. You're lusting after a beautiful girl that has had similar experiences as you."

"Similar?" Four shouted in a hushed voice as to not wake those around him. "She didn't have similar experiences, she had the same and so much worse. Marcus beat her. Marcus raped her repeatedly. Jeannine just manipulated her mind for a month. We haven't had similar experiences, mom. She's had so much worse and is so much stronger."

"Don't let a pretty face fool you son."

He didn't say anything. My heart sank.

I knew the woman's voice but I couldn't picture her face. Why didn't she like me… and was she right? Was I broken? And I everything Four said hurt, I was more than the abuse I have went through, does he know that?

Once Four's mom left I felt him curl around me again. It was comforting but didn't feel as true as before. I realized I ran back into his arms without knowing what was going on in the city. It was foolish. Why were we here and not in Dauntless? Who is his mother and why didn't he tell me about her? I thought she was dead. I thought that her death was the reason we both faced so much trauma before we even turned 16.

In the morning I was going to get answers.

I woke up with Four's arm still around me. I turned so our faces were only inches apart. I waited until he stirred.

His brown eyes fluttered open meeting mine. His mouth smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He was worried.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Tobias," I whispered. "Hello, I missed you."

"I haven't stopped thinking about you since you jumped on that train."

"What has been happening in the real world?" I know fear was seeping out of my eyes. I was vulnerable.

He took a deep breathe before starting his story.

"Everything that night went according to plan, well almost. You got all the Abnegation out of their sector. We stopped the trains, we hid the guns, the simulation started but I was able to shut it down quickly. It almost is better that simulation was turned on; it proved there was corruption. But that night wasn't perfect. You never came back. Erudite released information on Divergents and Abnegation, nothing true of course but everyone was scared and now the factions are even more confused than before," he paused his story. There was silence. I could hear the Factionless breathing.

"We looked for you, all of us. We didn't know where you were. At first I thought you just went into hiding. I told you not to come back until it was safe. But after a couple of days, we were sent a video. And another video. Each day a new video of the simulation you experienced. It ripped my heart out. I wanted to break into Erudite the moment I saw the first video, I was going to do it alone but I was convinced by… people… that there was a smarter way."

"This isn't about me," I said. "I'm not angry that it took weeks for you to save me, you saved me the day you helped me off that net back in Dauntless. We have to get the city back in order. It's our duty as Dauntless. We have to protect our city."

He pressed his forehead against mine. How easy his touch could make me forget everything. He was everything.

"What do we do next?" I asked. "Is there a plan?"

Four shifted uncomfortably but didn't move away from me.

"I think it's time for you to formally meet my mother," he whispered into the silence, chilling me to my core.