Am I a thief? Is what I am going to do a bad thing? After the council meeting I was plagued with loneliness and doubt.

It took three hours of arguing before I felt like the other council members heard me. As they choose to leave Jeanine, so everyone was on board with bringing her down. However, the idea of having two enemies seemed ludicrous to them.

"No Dauntless." I spoke firmly. Placing my hands on the conference table. The meeting had moved from the open pit to a stark room with no windows, no decoration, just a table and chalkboard. "No jumping on and off trains. No community. She wants to eliminate everything we hold scared. She is no better than Jeanine. It's tyranny."

"We can fight one army, not two," retorted Ryan, a twenty-six year-old tank covered in tattoos.

"We can't just choose the winning side, we need to fight for what is best for our people," I took a deep breath and looked at each of the other members. There was Vera, the mother of three who was anything but gentle. There was Ryan, a steam engine who spent his life not on love but strategic battle. There was Kory, another mountainous man, but there was some kind of gentleness behind his almost black eyes. There was Andy, who was the biggest of the three men, but chose to spend his life guarding the fence. We each have histories, our own little chapter in this city, but there is no time to read it.

"We are the people that fight for what is right no matter what the chances are, no matter how much fear fills our bodies, no matter if we will die," I began. "I am willing to die if we leave this city better than we found it. Right now, just down the street is a madwoman seeking revenge on a system that would not let her leave her abusive husband without faking her death. She has a lot of pain and anger. She also, has a lot of valid points. If we do nothing, she will win this war and we will have nothing. The system as it stands needs to change, but it does not need to be eliminated completely."

I tried to calm my pulsing heart. One beat. Two beats. Three and four. No one has spoken. Five beats. Six beats. Seven and eight. They are processing. How long to I wait? I don't want doubt to corrupt their thoughts.

"It's not really our place to decide how the city should be run," I said quietly. "But we can draft up a new city doctrine, brainstorm some new initiatives, and hold a committee with someone from every faction."

"That is not who we are," interjected Ryan. "Dauntless is not about passive conclusions and disengaging from fights. We are the fight."

"You are right," I said smiling. "There will be plenty of fights, but first we need to know what we are fighting for."

I stepped back from the table so I could see Vera, Ryan, Cory and Andy. My smile grew, because I love the fight as much as they do.

"The moment the Factionless get wind of what we want to accomplish they will attack. The moment Jeanine realizes I am here, and not with the Factionless, they will attack. The moment both of them see a copy of our plan, they will realize that it is the most logical and best for everyone; this will cause them to be self conscious and guilty. That will cause them to attack with everything they have. You must realized this: both Jeanine and Evelyn are weakened by their pride."

I gave them a few moments to process what I said. The silence was powerful, intoxicating, and scary. No wonder Jeanine and Evelyn got lost in their own power.

"We will have our fights and our revenge. We will win the city back. We just have a few steps to take before we can proceed."

I walked to the chalk board, picked up the chalk, and wrote:

1. Sustainable life at Dauntless

2. Doctrine & Initiatives

3. More Members

4. Weapons

5. Communication with other factions

"We need to show that we are not afraid. We need to show that we can be logical. We need to show that we can be caring. We need to show that this is our city."

I turned to look at the faces of the other members. They were excited. But one was still hesitant.

"This sounds like a good idea, but what is your plan? How are we to do these things," Vera asked.

I took a deep breath.

"I know you all have seen my face before," I said thinking back to my time being tortured. "But you don't know much about me. I know where the rest of Dauntless is, and I'm positive most will return to us. I don't know where the dauntless weapons are, but I know who hide them. I have the respect of Candor, and what is left of abnegation, and if my intuition is correct, Andy has the respect of Amity."

I quickly locked eyes with him. He nodded.

I took a deep breath.

"I also, may be a large part of why the Factionless front have so many members. But when they see where my loyalties truly lie, doubt will break their system. Evelyn knows that I have a lot of power within her regime; it was a power she feared. She kept me as isolated as possible. Now that I am gone, her only hope is that we attack first. But we wont. Our plan makes them attack first."

Everyone was on board. It was a smart plan. We would force the Factionless to attack their moral raising, kind hearted, best friend: me.

We decided everyone should individually work on ideas for the city tonight. We would discuss tomorrow and draft. While we were doing that, people would put whispers out into the city. Spread the word.

I left the meeting with a buzzing under my skin and ideas bouncing around in my head. I wanted to get started right away, use the momentum of the meeting, and change everything. But as I walked away from the meeting I realized I didn't know where to go, the initiate dorms, or his place?

I walked to the edge of the pit and looked out into the scene. It wasn't as full as usual, but it seems everything went back to normal. It brought a small smile to my face.

But at the same time there was a gnawing in my stomach. I haven't eaten all day. I should eat. I can't eat.

I went to the training room.

It looked just the same. It's the same room I started falling in love with him. It's the same room I worked myself into the ground. It's the same room where Eric picked me for the first fight. It's the same room where Al was beaten. It's the same room, but I'm not the same person.

Anxiety plagued me. My plan included stealing back the weapons we've hidden before the attack. Did we have the right to those weapons or did they belong to the other Dauntless, the Dauntless following him? Speaking of the other Dauntless, I planned on getting as many of them on my side, the Factionless too. Was that fair? How would he handle it? Was I going into war with him? What will he think?

Which side will… which side will Marcus choose? Will he stand by his original punching bags or follow his new challenge? Which side did I want him to choose? The thought of him brought goose bumps to my skin. However, it can't be ignored that he has a lot of power. It's sickening how much power a demented man like that holds.

Was I any different than him? I too manipulate people's emotions. I too present a different version of myself to the public. I pretend I am not broken. I pretend I have confidence. I pretend to know what I am doing.

I was feeling overwhelmed. Tears erupted from my eyes.

My heart was aching. I was so alone. So I did the only thing I could think of, I started to stretch my limbs. I did sit ups, squats, lunges, leg lifts, v-sit ups, push ups, planks, high knees, anything I could think of. The more my body hurt, the less I felt my heart. The more I sweated, the less I cried.

Covered in sweat, heart racing, I laid on the ground.

"That's not all you got," A voice echoed in the off the training equipment. I jumped to my feet. I looked to the door and saw Eric.

"You can do better than that," he taunted.

I rolled my eyes and waved him off.

"Excuse me, did you just roll your eyes at me," he eyes glinted evilly in the dim lighting.

"Yes…" I said quietly testing the waters. I didn't know what he was up to. I haven't seen this side of Eric in a long time. I was surprised to know that it made my heart skip with excitement.

He took two long strides towards me. My pulse quickened.

"Push up position, now."

I tried to suppress a smile and did as I told. It felt like a flash back to initiation.

"Count out loud and don't stop until I say."

"One, two, three, four, five," I tried to speak clearly, but I was already sore. I was tired. Sweat was dripping down my nose and onto the ground. My voice started shaking. But I dare not stop.

I could see his feet walking around me. I couldn't see his face because it was too much work to look up. He adjusted my legs with his foot. He circled. I kept counting.

"Thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight."

I was hyper aware of him. I noticed his stance stiffen. He knees bent slowly. It was almost like he didn't move at all, but I noticed.

"Thirty-nine, forty, forty-one."

I tensed my body because I realized his slight movement made him in pouncing position. Now it was just about predicting when he'd make his move.

It happened in a flash. I rolled out the way. In seconds we were both crouched, fists out, looking in each other's eyes.

"Is this really a fair fight?" I questioned.

"You're a leader, you need to be able to do this," he retorted with a smirk on his face.

"That isn't what I was insinuating," I smirked back.

I knew he was a better fighter, but verbal sparing was just as fun as actual sparing. I put up a good fight, but five minutes later he had me pinned.

I was lying on my back; he straddled my waist and held my arms to my side. We both were breathing heavily. He had a look of superiority in his eyes. It was… it was kind of hot. He was always an intimidating specimen, but until now, I never realize just how big he was.

His whole being was different than…his. He felt like a save haven. His eyes were warm. His touch was soft. Eric felt like freedom. His eyes were sharp, analytical, intense. His touch was firm, but not hurtful.

Looking into his blue eyes I remembered the intensity of the first time he kissed me. It wasn't my choice, but I did enjoy it. I remember the moan that slipped my lips. The memory made me blush.

Eric didn't say anything. He just got up and started to walk away.

I felt cold.

Before it wasn't my choice, but this time it would be.

I reached him before he got to the door. I pushed him against the wall and let my lips crash onto his. He didn't even hesitate to pull me in closer. I couldn't even surprise him—the asshole. His fingers tangled in my hair and danced along my hips.

I pulled away a few minutes later, but he didn't let me go far. He held me close and rested his forehead against mine. His eyes were closed.

"It's too soon after…" he didn't finish his words but we both know what he was thinking. I knew he was right, I couldn't even think his name yet. "Besides, he could still come back, then where would we be…"

"He wont," I said sharply. I paused. "Well, he might. But he let me go so easily. He shut me out. I'm not a child; I don't want to be treated like one. I… I don't think I want him even if he comes back."

I was surprised that the words felt true coming out of my mouth.

Eric gave a dry chuckle and repeated my words back to me: "think."

It hung there in the air. I looked up and his eyes were now open.

"Soon, it won't be 'think'" I stated. "It will be 'know'. I'm sorry I… well, I'm not really sorry I kissed you. I still want to, but I understand. You're right, it was maybe a little too soon."

I took a step back from him. I smiled as I noticed a bruise forming on his cheek. I grazed it with my fingers tips.

"Don't look so happy, you should look in the mirror," he retorted to my touch.

I laughed out loud.

"Eric, will you help me with something?" I asked.

He cocked his head to the side, questioning.

"Don't worry, its work related," I said.