Note: there is nothing worse in MRE than dehydrated meat patties, usually takes soaking overnight to make them chewable as a shoe sole. Tasteless, cardboard, jaw breakers.

Chp4 new schooldays.

Week before thanksgiving:

I walk thru the hall, unafraid. Before it was a mine field of touching. Now I center my mind and ignore the people, the touch's, the bumps. I see the people; I just keep my mine centered on the picture in my head of Annie smiling hobbling on crutches. She can do this; I can do this. My last class a then the new therapist.

I sit in a warm almost womb like office of reds and browns. The therapist Mrs. Hawthorne sit behind a desk. A nurse watches from the corner. "let begin, I have reviewed your history with your past doctors and your mother has given me a detailed history. What do you think I can help you with?"

"I want you to help me be intimate with girls. To be able to fuck them without them touching my chest or back."

"Ideally, overcoming your touch issues is the best way. But there are several positions and methods that minimize touch to the chest and back. Let start with talking about your sexuality, and how to express your limits."

Xxxxxxxx

Thanksgiving holiday:

I have successful hugged my parents, every day since returning, my little sister Mia, and Lelliot most days. Elliot cried for four hours the first time I hug him. Today the grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousin are here at Grey manor for the holiday. I steady myself, I can do this. "Christian phone call!"

I pick up the hall phone. "Hey hero, how you doing" Annie! "I was just going down stairs." "Well you can do this, their family they love you." "I know but I'm scared." "Chris. We're all scared, we just have to buckle up and jump as Ray says. I went yesterday to chuck-cheese for four hours, beat Daddy at whack-a-mole, won a stuff bear. Didn't have one panic attack." "that's great Annie, I knew you could do it, you just have to try" "right back at you Chris, you have to try. Got a go the turkey dinging. Bye hero" "bye Annie"

Later sitting next to the fire. I hugged everyone, the Grands had to leave for an hour to calm down and compose themselves. My cousin were the hardest, I felt some burning, but focused out, plus Elliot moved them along. Grandma T was so happy, she taught me a dance, the waltz.

XXXXXX

The school year is over. My grades are up. My summer is bright. I have a summer job working at the grandparent's apple farm. I have gone on a date. Attend my sophomore prom. The girl I toke was smart and pretty. I'd explained my touch issues, she seemed fine with till the end of the night when she tried to jump my bones. We parted on less then friends. But I didn't freak out or lose control.

The therapist is helping me find ways to cope, and have contract with other people. I have several pen pals, most with similar issues and fears. Annie only uses snail mail; I get a letter once a month. she's doing better putting it all behind here. She jumps a whole grade.

Xxxxxxx

1year later:

My SAT are done, school out, my GPA is 3.98. and I've got early acceptance to Harvard. The Parents are over the moon. I managed to go the whole year without a suspension. The one hundred thousand is in my account, along with the 250,000 I managed with my penny stock account. I started with the 15 grand I saved over the years. Birthday money, xmas money, allowance. My company is within my grasp. I smile.

I had my first sexual experience just after Christmas. A girl, Jenifer, in Aspen allowed me to tie her hands to the bed. She liked to be tied up and spanked. I lost my cherry. She was more experienced than me, a year older. She instructed me. I liked sex; liked the control tying her hands gave me, even the spanking, but she wanted it harder, even wanted me to use a belt. I have trouble inflicting pain on someone. I learned how to please her sexual. We spent the week skiing and fucking. God did it feel good; but something was missing. A connection, emotion. I mean the physical part was great, it just isn't enough. I need more.

The therapist was right. There are methods I can use. I'm enthralled by bondage and dominations. I like the control, the control of my sex partner from touching me at random. I feel able to see the future. Elliot has me working out every day. I have an internship this summer with a financial services company.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Christian; Annie's on the phone." Mia screams from the Livingroom. I hustle to the phone "Hey Annie, what's" my voice dies as I hear her sobs. "Christian, Ray been in accident, he's going to be ok, but "sob" he going to the VA hospital in Seattle for rehab. At least a month. their talking of sending me to Georgia to mom. I don't want to go. I don't know what to do?" "Where are you at right now?" "The hospital in Olympic, their moving him in the morning." "Stay there, I will come a get you." "Christian their demanding an adult take me." "Stay there, I will come a get you. I will deal with them." "ok" she sounds tiny; I will not let that bitch get a hold of her again. "I will be there, stay safe."

I find my parents in the kitchen, arguing over the mash potatoes, how much garlic? Dad's for more. Mom for less. The eternal struggle. "Mom, Dad I have a favor to ask" "what Christian?" "Mr. Steele was in accident; he's being moved up here to the VA hospital for at least a month. I want Annie to stay here. Child Services want to send her to her mother in Georgia. I wouldn't allow that to happen."

"Christian, let me make some calls. Where is Mr. Steele and Annie at." dad ask. "the hospital in Olympic." "I'll see what we can do." "She's not going to that bitch, even if I have to hide her" "Christian, you can't kidnap her." "Rescue her, mom, her mom gave her to that evil bastard last time" mom rubs my back and arm. I feel better, but I will keep Annie safe.

Xxxxxxxxx

24 hours later.

I carry Annie's stuff into the guest room. Mia is ecstatic over having another girl in the house. Dad got temporary custody from Ray, so she could stay here. I watch my friend unload three suitcases of books and one of cloths. Mia eyes are shining with shopping. Annie smiles and my world is better, whole, even joyous.