Hey guys. Sorry for the long update but a lot of crap has happened to me since the last chapter. School started, had a trip to the ER (not fun) and just found out my boyfriend's mother hand to put her beloved dog down. Lots of sad stuff going around. Hope you all are having a better time.

Anyways here's chapter 30.

Enjoy!


Biting into his lip, Kevin wasn't sure just how to broach the subject. It had been days, weeks for that matter, since he last spoke to Cassandra outside of a text message. When her work called to inquire her whereabouts he had been ashamed to admit that he didn't know. Apparently her coworker hadn't gotten the message that she called in sick but that was obviously not the point. As her friend he should have known something like that. Hopefully she had made it to work safely. He knew how much of a dick her acting manager could be and even after their blow out Kevin wouldn't wish her to lose her only means of support.

The guilt continued to build as he regarded the curly blond from across the room, her pretty face sullen and eyes speaking over a thousand unsaid words. She took to staring at the floor between her feet. In her hands was a pizza box. By her scuffled uniform and the big red blot on her blouse he guessed she had just gotten off her shift at the pizza joint. He would have felt gratuitous for the offering it weren't for their current circumstance.

"Hey." Was all she said, drawing Kevin's gaze.

Kevin nodded his head. "Hey back."

Cassandra's lip twitched into a grin. She looked a bit goofy with her one sided smile but it was hers.

"Hey." She awkwardly chuckled before clearing her throat. "Um, I brought you pizza."

She held out the box for him as if he hadn't already noticed. Her voice has softened as though she were nervous or shy.

When he didn't respond she tried widening her smile. "It's your favorite."

Kevin pursed his lips. He wasn't sure what to say to her. He thought he'd been prepared to face her but so far he was doing a pretty crummy job of apologizing.

"It's a meat-lovers." She offered, handing him the box. "Hand tossed with extra sauce. Just the way you like it."

After a torturous pause Kevin finally took the box. "Thanks."

Cassandra looked about nervously, twirling her finger into one of her golden curls. It reminded him a lot of the first time they met. She had been looking for her first lecture class, fingers in her hair and face set into a scowl. Seeing how distressed she was Kevin had rolled in like a prince to show her around campus. By her appearance alone one would never have guessed she would be into the whole mechanics thing. He had mistaken her for one of the professor's daughters. She was a tough cookie inside with a plush and marshmallow like exterior. She was as brilliant as she was gorgeous, a dangerous combination. When Cassandra spoke it never failed to shake Kevin from his thoughts.

"May I sit?"

Kevin nodded and cocked his head in the direction of the living room. "Sure let me just…yeah."

As he went to fetch them some sodas Cassandra walked silently about the living room, her heels clicking softly against the hard wooden floor. Her eyes danced curiously about the room, hopping from one piece of furniture to the next as though viewing it all for the first time. The notion was ridiculous as she had been there many times before before but never under such strenuous conditions. Where she would have taken a comfy spot on the sofa and shouted to him in the other room she now stood stalk still, her hand clutching her purse's strap so tightly her fingers had begun to go numb.

He swiftly returned and he sat two pops on the coffee table, shifting to one side of the couch just to fill in the space between their awkward exchanges.

"Hope you like Coke. It's all I've got."

"Really?" Cassandra's voice hummed with amusement. "I always thought you were a Pepsi kind of guy."

Kevin chuckled, rubbing his finger across the bridge of his nose.

"Oh I am, but, a certain someone whom I shall not name-" He coughed. "Edd."

He cleared his throat nonchalantly, successfully dragging a smile out of Cassandra. "-thinks Coke is better."

The waitress shook her head smiling. "So what, did he commandeer your pantry or something?"

Kevin threw his arms up. "I know but I let him. Pretty stupid of me huh?"

The two shared in a much needed laugh, easing then tension and clearing out the suffocating thickness of that air between them.

The two friends regarded each other with fond smiles. Kevin out stretched his hand to Cassandra who at first wasn't sure if she should take it. Fear of disappointment was etched in the lines around her frowning lips but Kevin's encouraging smile drew her towards the open palm, her shaking fingers clasping his own. A gentle rub of his thumb stilled their nervous twitch. She released a long and heavy sigh, the sting of tears threatening to blur her vision.

They held each other's hands in a bid to battle the angst that had been building inside them for quite some time now. Little by little the hard shell of their misunderstanding began to chip away. The longer he held her hand the more focused Kevin became and in turn Cassandra quieted the voice raging in her head. Neither had realized until enough time had passed that they had been fools. Stubborn, stubborn fools. Pride had always been their misgiving. When life seemed to take a turn for the worst the inexplicable need to prove themselves was so over powering that neither Kevin nor Cassandra could have seen their behavior as anything less than righteous.

"What the heck was I trying to prove?" Cassandra's sad voice cut through the silence like a hot knife through butter.

Her bluer than blue eyes pleaded so much louder than her voice ever could, begging the young man beside her to just listen; and he did just that.

"I don't-" She raked her manicured fingers through her hair.

Kevin noticed how chipped and mangled they looked compared to their usual immaculate appearance and felt guilt rise as bile to the back of his throat. Now that he was paying attention he noticed the hard lines etched into the corner of her lips as though she hadn't smiled in years. Her hair was stilly curly but they seemed to lack the vivacious bounce that encompassed her bubbly personality. It made him think.

Damn. How hard has this been on her?

Her demeanor worsened as she tried desperately to piece together her words. They tumbled about in her brain like a pair of silk panties surrounded by thick water heavy towels, flopping and smacking the sides of her conscience in a bid to escape the torture. Every fiber of her being, begged for her to run. It would be easier to escape the madness than face it, her awareness told her, but something much larger than herself kept her planted in her seat.

Her broken nails of her free hand dug mercilessly into her seat cushion. Focusing on the pressure helped to alleviate the pressure building in her chest, threatening to throw her into a full blown panic attack. Kevin's tightened his grip was returned with a furious squeeze.

"I don't even know where to begin." She admitted with a bark of feigned laughter.

Kevin licked his lips in thought but didn't dare push her. He would let her navigate this foreign territory without interfering. There was enough on his mind as it was and he saw no point in adding fuel to a dying fire.

After another agonizing moment of silence Cassandra slapped herself in the forehead and cried out. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here."

She made to stand but Kevin's hold stopped her.

"No wait." Kevin released a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding.

The waitress merely stared at him, wide eyed and unsure. His gentle tug drew her closer until her knee bumped his and her face turned three shades redder than before. She quickly moved her leg away but just as the physical contact was broken she suddenly changed her mind and put it back, her lashes fluttering subtly.

"Kevin-"

"Yes?"

Cassandra's eyes met his own. "I don't want to lose you."

Kevin could have sworn he saw her heart shatter through the shimmer of her tear glazed eyes.

"You're such a great guy and a wonderful friend and…" Her voice wavered. "I was such a bitch. I got jealous and I didn't know what I was saying."

Kevin's brows shot to the top of his head. "Jealous? Over what?"

Cassandra's mouth stilled right away, her jaw clamping shut. Kevin's brows furrowed with growing concern. She tore her gaze from his and tried to burn a hole into the floor between her feet by staring at it good and hard.

"Cass?"

She refused to look at him, taking her hand and burying it protectively between her knees. Her head bobbed down as shame wrote it self across her face.

He sighed. "Cass what is this really about?"

Her blue orbs danced between her and Kevin's knees in a wistful manner. "Do you remember when we first met?"

Kevin was taken aback by the sudden question but nodded regardless.

"Yeah. How could I forget?"

He smiled fondly over the memory as it flashed before his eyes like it was just yesterday. "You sure were a spit fire. Still are, you know."

She smiled but he sensed a hint of bitterness behind it. "I always thought you were so sweet for helping me out. I thought you were the kindest guy there." Her eyes flashed solemnly. "You didn't treat me like a bimbo like the other guys did. You treated me like a colleague." She smiled. "Like an equal."

Kevin ran his fingers through his bangs out of frustration, tipping back his hat enough to reveal the beautiful sea of red adorning his head. Cassandra found she couldn't look away from it.

"I was a real ass to you. Cass I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me."

She tried not to laugh. It was just like Kevin not to beat around the bush. Perhaps it was about time she did the same. No more running, she told herself.

"Kevin." Her voice sounded strained, not quite her own as she spoke. "I have something I need to tell you."

He scooted closer to her, taking her hand back into his. "Cass you know you can tell me anything."

She closed her eyes, willing away the hurt that thumped insistently in her chest.

"Would you believe me if I said…" She almost couldn't bring herself to say it. "-if I said I loved you?"

Kevin looked hardly abashed by her confession and merely gave her a grin.

"Of course."

He shook his head in reverence before wrapping his arm around her shoulders, tucking the blond into his side as he always did. While resting his chin atop her head his fingers delved knuckle deep into her golden curls. He watched them bounce expectedly off his fingertips, enraptured by their beautiful yellow shine.

"You're my best girl."

Hope sprung like rushing water from a fountain. "I am?"

Her fingers laced with his and she held on as though her very life depended on his touch. If there was even a sliver of a chance-

"Sure." He smiled, petting her head softly. "You're the best friend a guy could ever ask for."

And there it was, complete and utter devastation.

He did not love her. Not like she loved him.

The bitterness of this realization burned like an over spill of salt on her tongue, choking the moisture out of the air and leaving her desperately parched for the level of affection she knew then she could never achieve with Kevin. Like a heavy wall of steel suddenly dropped before her Cassandra felt encompassed by the cruel reality of a rejection. No amount of understanding could change the fact she had been fiercely friend zoned. And it hurt. It hurt like nothing ever hurt before; as if her heart had been sliced wide open, exposing her feelings precariously to the harsh and unforgiving open. She could make no other equivalent to the misery that threatened to trash her from the inside out. Hours of adoration, dozens of memory snap shots pinned to her bedroom wall, fuck, months of falling so devastatingly hard for a man she thought could be her everything; it had all been for nothing.

Tears fell without her permission, wetting her cheeks and raising Kevin's concern.

"Oh god! Cass, are you ok? Did I say something wrong?"

She laughed but the sound was broken, nearly on the precipice of a sob. She violently shook her head, using her curls to help hide the river of tear drops that suddenly decided to pour from her eyes without her consent.

"I'm such an idiot."

Suddenly perking her head up, she started kicking the edge of the coffee table. Kevin's eyes widened and his hand immediately grabbed her leg to keep her from repeating the abuse on his furniture.

"Cass! What the hell?" He collected her face in his hands and wished with all his might that she look up at him instead of the floor.

"Look at me Cass. Look at me. Calm down, it's ok. Everything's going to be alright."

"No Kevin." She finally sobbed. "Nothing is going to be alright. Nothing will ever be alright!"

She forced his hands from her face and dared to sneak peek at him. His eyes, so deep and unfathomable at this point, were threaded with worry. Those same green gems she had admired so closely now seemed a thousand light years away. Though they were close, they were as untouchable as the stars that now littered the city sky. How she wished she could escape onto the veranda and look up at them now, anything to escape this waking nightmare.

Kevin now hurt by her outburst, retreated his hands.

"What are you saying? Please Cass, I'm not a mind reader. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours. I know you know something that you're not telling me."

Her hands and legs began to shake. "I…"

She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown they both knew it.

"If I tell you, you might hate me and never speak to me again."

Kevin felt a tug on his heart strings. To see his friend in such disarray was nothing short of alarming. Cassandra was a strong and intelligent woman with a wicked 'tude but the wispy frightened girl sitting before him resembled nothing of the Cassandra he knew. Where was that spit fire he first met back on campus? Where was that pretty waitress who took no slack and drank like a sailor on Saturday nights? Where was the outlandish female counter part to Nat's own eccentricity? One could only guess she was stuffed somewhere inside this shell of a person.

Kevin ground his teeth hard, his jaw line visibly tensing. "How in the hell could I ever hate you Cass?" He was struggling not to raise his voice. "God woman get it out already. Just tell me!"

Cassandra's fists clenched. "Ok fine!"

She bit hard into her lip until the taste of copper coated her tongue, swallowing the bile taste of her blood back before finding the courage to speak.

"I thought you wanted to-" She felt breathless as the words stumbled past her lips. She could feel his piercing gaze burning holes right into the side of her head. "All those times we spent together studying and hanging out."

She really hoped Kevin was putting two and two together. She really didn't want to have to spell it out. She was in enough pain as it was, however the confusion sprawled across his expressive face promised her nothing less than an outright confession.

"I thought that maybe you… you…

"I?" He tried to sound encouraging and she knew that, but it just wasn't helping.

"I thought maybe you wanted to give us a chance!" She blurted.

There. She finally said it.

At a loss Kevin's tongue felt numb. He didn't quite comprehend. "A chance?"

"Yeah." She said with a little more confidence. "I don't know when or how but I thought that-"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute." His hand came down over his eyes, brushing the steadily growing stubble on his cheeks. "What do you mean by 'give us a chance'?"

Cassandra's fine brows knitted together at the top of her forehead. Instead of stomping her foot on the coffee table she stood, pacing back and forth between the hall to the front door and the living room. Kevin's large and luxurious home now felt like a prison with only one way out; unless you count the balcony but Cassandra just didn't see herself hopping the ledge and floating down to the bottom like a leaf on the wind. The front door, however, looked entirely plausible. Just a few quick steps to her left and Cassandra could escape this nightmare.

But she didn't.

No, Cassandra instead took to faster pacing, leering at the front door every time to stepped towards it and mourning her loss when she didn't take that one extra step towards freedom. She just wasn't sure how to tell him. She couldn't very well spill every thought and emotion she had into her confession. Her heart simply couldn't handle the rejection she knew was waiting for her. She had to protect herself in some small way; but was there any other way?

She conceded. No, there simply wasn't, not without lying to him or herself in the process.

A single steady breath was all she needed to get the next part out.

"Kevin I love you. More than a friend should love another friend."

Kevin's mouth fell open as the light of recognition beamed brightly in his eyes, but before he could speak she continued, needing so desperately to tell him everything she had been holding back.

"I wanted to be your girlfriend Kev. I still do."

She wiped vigorously at the tears she couldn't stave off and ploughed right on even though she felt her heart breaking.

"I wanted to be your girl who meets you in the halls between classes, the one you'd take out on dates and yell at for stupid things, and… and…"

She turned away from Kevin, her shoulders hunching defensively. The cogs in his mind were grinding to a completely stand still and now his temples throbbed as his brain worked to process the information. Cassandra was in love with him. In love with him and she-

"Oh my god."

Kevin ran both his hands through his hair, tugging so hard on his bangs he had to let go before he actually pulled them out. He stood quickly and started to pace a path of his own between the television and the sliding door. The blinds had been pulled back to let the sunshine in but now that the sun had long since dipped below the horizon the glare of city life now lit up the room, casting grey blue shadows across his face.

Eyes squeezed shut Kevin couldn't bring himself to look at her, not even as shuffling was heard from behind and the front door started to open.

"Kevin, I'm home."

His head snapped up. Edd!

Cassandra ran, her purse falling off her shoulder as she ran for the door, her heels clicking hard against the floor as she shoved past a surprised sockhead, knocking him into the wall in the process.

"Sorry Kev I've gotta go."

And just like that she was gone.


:) So what did you guys think? I'd like to know.

Ciao!