Chapter 10: Bed
Be careful what you wear to bed at night, you never know who you'll meet in your dreams. — Anonymous
Thou shalt hate Hermione Granger with every fibre of thine soul, every ounce of thine strength and every minute of thine life.
That was Draco Malfoy's eleventh commandment, right after Thou shalt never step out in public with a single hair out of place.
And really, Granger was making it far too easy for him.
He had arrived at the Zabinis' (strictly speaking, it was still Parkinson's and Zabini's, but they were practically married and well on their way to divorce, so never mind) at a quarter past seven, like all Friday nights, expecting a quiet dinner and an hour of pleasant lounging in front of the telly.
Unfortunately, Granger was somehow there when the door opened.
He had demanded a reason for Granger's existence under Zabini's roof and was told that it was a "token of thanks" to Granger for "patching him up" in the "incident" a few days ago, and that he was sure Draco had forgotten to "repay" her for her "kindness".
Unfortunately, Draco had indeed forgotten to "repay" her for her "kindness". Someone give the smart arse a badge.
He had, during dinner, given a very lengthy speech detailing how the fish was inadequately cooked in every existing dimension in order to mock Granger's culinary skills, although in truth it was quite delicious.
Unfortunately, he found out the hard way that it was Pansy who cooked the fish.
He had then very discreetly catapulted a pea from his fork, and it was right on course to land on Granger's forehead.
Unfortunately, a very timely move on Granger's part deflected the pea and it ended up in his right nostril.
He had been laughed at, and Draco did not enjoy being laughed at.
Unfortunately, he was humiliated further having been shunned from the conversation which revolved around a certain Muggle TV show called The Oh-I-See. Or something like that.
He had then sulked like a man scorned and shut up.
And oh, then Zabini and Parkinson had to announce their engagement at dessert.
Draco stared at Zabini. "Do you have any idea how bloody annoying marriage is? It's a commercial fraud that inflicts permanent psychological damage on anyone involved."
"How insightful of you, Malfoy," commented Granger with a roll of her eyes. "If you had the brains to think deeper, marriage is much more than just a wedding. Speaking of which, if you need someone to design a wedding dress for you, Pansy, I'd love to-"
Without thinking, Draco leapt out of his chair and practically clambered over the coffee table nestled in the small space between them to clap a hand to Granger's mouth, knocking over a few glasses of wine and a plateful of cheesecake onto the expensive carpet.
"Draco!" shrieked Pansy, eyes wide. "What are you doing?"
He snatched his hand back when he felt Granger sink her teeth into his palm, and he yelled, "Ugh! Are you mad? Now I'm going to get rabies!"
"I'm not an infected dog, you moron!" screeched Granger furiously.
"You're a beaver!" taunted Draco, and he smirked as he watched her face go up in flames.
"Well I wouldn't worry if I were you, I'm sure the antibodies in your ferret blood will keep you safe!"
Draco fell back as Pansy pulled him from Granger and deposited him on the carpet. "Draco! I'm appalled by your manners. Hermione was going to tell me something when you very rudely inter-"
"She wasn't going to tell you anything!" he snapped, commanding Granger with his eyes to shut up.
She glared back. "Actually, I was going to tell Pansy something-"
"No, you were not and will not-"
"Do you even know what I'm about to tell her?" said Granger, faking innocence.
"Contract!" hissed Draco.
"You didn't seem to have a problem telling Fleur," pointed out Granger.
Pansy perked up, her brow scrunching up in a frown. "Fleur? Fleur Delacour? What did you tell Delacour? Why can't you tell me?" she demanded in rapid fire.
Pansy never took a liking to Fleur. The Frenchwoman was too beautiful for her taste, apparently.
"I don't understand why Malfoy wants to keep this secret to you both, Pansy," said Granger patriotically, sending him an evil look over her wine glass. "You three are very close, aren't you?"
Pansy looked pained and Blaise blinked in amusement.
Draco considered strangling her there and then. Who knew Granger could be such a Slytherin?
"Draco, what are you keeping from us?" Pansy brandished the infamous pout she used to shove in his face when he refused to take her out to Hogsmeade in Fourth Year.
"Hmm, let me guess," Blaise spoke up, pretending to think really hard. "You really kissed Nott back in Fifth Year?"
Draco nearly gagged. "For Merlin's sake, NO-"
Then Granger had to go and tell them what exactly she was doing for him.
Unfortunately, he couldn't sue her for breach of contract or he would be "brutally dismembered like that tiger which took the Muggle apart limb by limb at that African wildlife park last month" by the last surviving member of the Parkinson bloodline.
Yes, Granger was making it way too easy for him.
"That's gorgeous!" squealed Pansy, admiring the sketch Hermione was scribbling on the back of a receipt. "Gosh I can't wait to get married!"
Hermione laughed and shifted to cross her legs. "When's the big day?"
"Well, Blaise wants a winter wedding, so we'd probably wait till December," gushed Pansy, practically oozing with happiness. "A Christmas wedding, maybe!"
"Fantastic! That way I'll have time to work on your wedding dress."
"So how's work?" asked Pansy, popping a chocolate into her mouth.
"I still have twelve pieces to go, and a week left till the show-"
"No," cut in Pansy. "I mean, are you enjoying your work?"
Hermione smiled at her bluntness. "Well, it gets lonely sometimes. I can't tell anyone about it. I signed a contract."
"No wonder Draco jumped you," said Pansy thoughtfully. "Literally." She added with a wink.
Hermione laughed. "You're funny."
She grinned back. "Even Slytherins have a knack for laughs. I'm kind of thirsty, do you want a hot chocolate? I have marshmallow downstairs."
"I'd love to- wait, it's two in the morning?"
That should explain her heavy eyelids.
Pansy blinked. "Oops, looks like we got carried away with my wedding plans!"
"I'm really sorry," apologised Hermione. "But I really need to get going-"
"Oh no you don't," said Pansy, grabbing her arms. "The floo stations are closed and I'm not letting you walk back to your apartment."
"Well there's Malfoy-"
"No, you two are staying for the night," insisted Pansy, making a beeline to her wardrobe. "Here, I'll lend you a nightgown. The guest room is the first door on the right, you can't miss it. I'll go down and get Blaise. He's probably camping out on the couch." She made a face and dashed out of the room before Hermione could open her mouth.
So she made her way to the guest room, and was unpleasantly surprised to see Malfoy already on the bed, reading a book.
"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" snapped Hermione, closing the door behind her.
"Good morning, Granger," he chirped sarcastically.
"Pansy said I can sleep here," she said, crossing her arms.
"Zabini said I can sleep here," he shot back, leisurely turning a page.
"Well, we can't both sleep here," she declared.
Malfoy looked at the empty space next to him on the king size bed and arced an eyebrow, "Why not?"
Hermione gaped. "Are you suggesting we sleep together? In the same bed?"
"It's called a compromise, I believe," he replied lazily.
"But I can't!"
"Suit yourself," shrugged Malfoy. "There's always the floor."
Hermione huffed. "What a gentleman you are, Malfoy."
"Flattered," he deadpanned and put his book aside. "Climb in when you're done singing my praises."
Hermione gasped and spun around when he very fluidly pulled the sweatshirt he was wearing over his head.
"Malfoy!" she ground out. She heard him snicker and the sound of sheets sliding on skin.
The lights went off and Malfoy sing-songed, "Good night, Granger."
"You're disgusting, Malfoy!" she snarled and slammed the door close behind her.
Draco was about to fall asleep when the door clicked open.
He heard Granger groan and nearly smirked. He had, of course, lied in the middle of the bed like he owned it.
The smell of apple shampoo hit his nose and soft hair brushed his shoulder as Granger leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Malfoy, are you awake?"
Draco decided to have a bit of fun. After all, she did ruin his Friday night.
With a loud moan, he rolled over and right onto the solid form of Granger, who shrieked and kicked him off none too gently. He retreated with a grunt, resting on his side, and felt her scramble from the bed. He grinned into the dark and stayed on his side of the bed quietly, till he felt her weight sink into the mattress on his right.
He could picture her lying on the edge of the bed, as far from him as she could manage without falling off the bed. Wouldn't be too comfortable, he imagined.
Letting out a long sigh, he rolled back onto his back and let his hand fall onto what felt like Granger's stomach. She picked up his hand with a muttered oath and flung it back onto his stomach. Amused, he flung it right back and Granger viciously slammed it onto the bed.
Draco let a few quiet moments pass, then, with an expert tug, stripped Granger of all blanket cover.
He grinned into the dark when Granger sighed and attempted to pull the sheet back, but Draco had it cocooned tightly enough around him. He let her struggle for a minute or two before yielding to her pulls, unwinding the sheets from his torso as he ended up pressed against her stiffened back.
"All you had to do was ask," he rasped into her ear.
He didn't expect her to elbow him hard in the stomach before scrambling from the bed.
"Ow! Are you trying to kill me, Granger?" he cried dramatically, barely making out her form in the dark.
"If you try to touch me one more time-" her voice trembled in anger.
"Hey, do you think I touched you deliberately?" Draco shot back.
"I don't care if it's deliberate or not-" she snapped.
Draco faked a female voice and cooed, "As long as you tooouch me- oof!" He was rudely cut off by a pillow in his face. "What the fu- auuugh! Merlin, you're ma-"
"You- are- in-su-ffer-able!"
Draco grabbed the pillow and ripped it from Granger's grip, and threw it out of her reach. He then grappled blindly into the dark and somehow found Granger's arms, and with a tug he hauled her onto the bed- onto him, more specifically.
His eyes had now adjusted to the dark and he could see Granger's eyes, wide and dark, boring into his as she panted, her breaths hitting his face in warm puffs. He thought he felt her heartbeat through the thin fabric of her silken nightgown. She was sprawled all over him and, to be entirely honest, it didn't feel that bad at all.
His grip on her wrists tightened.
Thou shalt hate Hermione Granger with every fibre-
"Geez, Malfoy, unhand me."
Desperation seized him and he hastily pushed her off him. A bit too hard, perhaps, because she tumbled off the bed with a shriek.
"Malfoy!"
Draco, now in control of his brain again, peered over the edge of the bed and said sweetly, "Yes, Granger?"
She practically shoved a finger in his face. "If you do not keep to your side of the bed-"
"You won't be held responsible for ravishing me?" he finished for her rather wickedly.
Draco grinned as he literally heard her counting to ten in her head.
"That's it! I'm going," she announced, getting onto her feet. "Congratulations! You can have the bed all to yourself, you perverted ferret. And I'll have the blanket."
"Whoa, where are you going with my blanket?" asked Draco, clinging to the sheet like a koala.
"Downstairs! Anywhere but here!"
"Oh no, you're not. Come back to bed, Granger!"
Granger whipped around to glare at him. He fancied seeing Granger's eyes glow red. "Are you high on something, Malfoy?"
"I'm serious, come back to bed, Pansy will have my head if she knows."
"Well, that would be fabulous, really. That body wouldn't look half-bad if it didn't have your ferret head attached."
"Did you just say that you like my body, Granger?" Draco smirked.
He could feel the heat radiating from her face. "No."
"If you come snuggle up beside me you can have it for the night," he teased mercilessly.
"On second thought, I might just pull your head myself-"
Draco yawned suddenly, deciding that he had had enough nonsense for the night. "Granger, it's almost three and I really need some shuteye. You can continue to indulge in your murderous fantasies all you like but I won't let the blanket go. Good night."
He felt Granger climb onto the bed a few minutes later, and he drowsily smirked.
The ladies could never resist him.
With half a mind to annoy her, Draco casually tossed his arm to her side but met something electric half way, making him cry out in shock.
"What the hell-"
"Sweet dreams, Malfoy," lilted Granger smugly, and with one smooth move tore the sheets completely off him and to her side of the invisible electric fence.
Oh yes, Granger was making it too easy for him.
Edited 29 May 2012
Yes, it's been forever and I apologize for the delay! Needless to say, I've been incredibly busy with life and this is the best I can come up with at the moment. It's not my favourite chapter, it is some sort of a transitional chapter but I promise it will get better soon. Thank you for all the amazing reviews, you guys are so generous with your compliments! I can't believe I got 61 reviews for one single chapter! This chapter is dedicated to all you lovely readers, thank you for your encouragement, it means a lot to me.
I will be going to camp next week, so it might be a while before I update again. But yes, it will get better! See you!
