Hey guys. Sorry about the late update. I wasn't able to log into the FF for a while, I guess they were doing updates or something. All of your comments have been outstanding. I love to read them. I learn something new every time I read them :) I want to thank the guests and reviewers who took the time to write back a review. I appreciate my reader's criticisms and honesty, as a writer it really helps shape my own creative writing style. So thank you guys so much for taking the time to write something!

Anyways here's the chapter you guys have been waiting for. I think it's time to let the red-head we all know and love get his two cents in. Yeah I realize this one is a little bit of a filler but the next chapter is about 6k words, and I had to get a certain character back into the groove of things. After all, what better way to get through to Kevin than through his bff? Anyways-

Enjoy!


Kevin paced.

Back and forth he walked the length of the hall, hands fisted at his sides. The sun set hours ago yet he was wide awake. Every light in the house was turned on and there was a pie baking in the oven. Why? Because he had nothing better to do.

He came home from work that day in an even worse mood than he had going in. His father had sent him home early, offering to switch Kevin's shift to the day after next so he could get some rest but Kevin had declined. He didn't need time off or away. He needed to keep busy. It helped to clear his mind of faces that only serve to haunt him.

When he returned home nothing had changed. Honestly he didn't know what to expect. The air still tasted sour and nothing had been moved out of place. It was suffocating. So he cleaned the entire house in hopes of ridding himself of that feeling. By the time he was finished the house was spotless, save for a particular room located just across his own; but no matter how hard he scrubbed the walls, his feelings stayed just the same.

The reason was that room. Edd's room.

This was ridiculous. He shouldn't be afraid to enter into any space in his home. It was his house damnit!

Kevin was a full grown man who didn't fear easily; so, why on earth was he pacing the hall like some jittery child seconds away from discovering a monster under the bed? This was stupid. Down to earth- plain as day, stupid. And yet he couldn't bring himself to even approach the freakin' door. Every time his hand grazed within a foot of the knob he would move it, keeping his fingers busy by twisting them on his belt loop and tugging the bright red ends of his hair. He probably looked foolish. He certainly felt like it but not even his own mother could convince him to go anywhere near that door.

The silence of the house didn't last for long. While he treasured some time to himself it only amplified the emptiness that resonated somewhere in his soul. Pushing the sliding door open he could hear the pour in of the city's siren call. A gust of wind blew fresh air across his face and down the hall, calling him away from his festering. Somehow he managed to peel himself away from the door and go to his balcony.

Leaning into the guard rail Kevin allowed himself a moment to simply let go.

The night life was thriving as per usual. Neon lights lit up the horizon and below he could hear the roar of over worked engines. Music playyed just a level below him. The smell of pot filtered towards him but he couldn't pin point the source. To avoid the smell he took a step to the left, sucking in as much clean air into lungs as he could.

A chilly bit of wind caressed his face, cooling him, and making his injured body ache. The bruises hadn't yet had time to heal but breathing in the crisp November air felt refreshing, almost cleansing. Overhead the stars were lit, though few were actually visible. The ones he could see burned brighter than ever and it made him want to just stand there and stare up at them. Even through the chill and noise surrounding him Kevin heard that ugly bought of silence, his loneliness back dropped by this urban gallery of colors and lights that spilled like water color into the corners of his vision.

Kevin dropped his head to the rail.

He couldn't take it anymore. This ignoring-the-problem bullshit just wasn't working.

Eddward Marion Vincent. That was his problem. What was there to be said about him?

That maybe he's a liar and a traitor who doesn't deserve his forgiveness?

Yeah, that sounded about right; but so did his kinder reflections. The very same thoughts that made him want to hold the sockhead close and will away every bad thought he ever had of him. This left the motorcyclist befuddled and entirely conflicted within himself.

None of this made any sense. One minute he was hating Edd and the next he was moping about like some lovesick teenager.

Kevin understood this world just enough to know that people are cruel and sometimes the desperate do desperate things. That being said, he couldn't forgive Edd of his transgressions. He didn't want to. Kevin was hurt and that was about all he really understood. He was still hurting but at this point he was starting to wonder for what. Edd didn't technically do anything wrong. He was only doing what any young man his age would do. He was doing what Kevin himself would have done. Yet here he was making a fool of himself, tripping over his own confused emotions just to understand why any of it happened in the first place. Round and round his thoughts would go only to circle back around to his anger.

All things considered the question hanging over his head seemed like a loaded question waiting for an equally loaded answer; the solution to his problem that he may now never obtain since Edd was gone. Knowing this caused an ache so strong it nearly caused him double over to ripple through the red-head down. He felt it right down to his core.

The more times he told himself this the harder it was for him accept. In just the few short weeks he knew this kid, he had grown attached. Giving all that he could to ensure Edd's comfort and happiness only to have it all stolen from him. Edd was his emotional dial, able to make him laugh and steam with just the snap of his nimble fingers. It scared him how much of an affect the sockhead had on him. He never thought in a million years he'd feel as strongly about a person as he did Edd and in the wake of this living nightmare Edd's missing presence nearly left him paralyzed.

His eyes lost focus the further he let himself fall into his spiraling thoughts. His shaking fingers tore through his loose red bangs, green hat shifting in the process, but the painful tug on them wasn't enough to get his mind off any of it.

Regret had an awful sour taste. He wished he hadn't spoken so surly to Edd back in the club. He wished he would have approached Edd calmly instead of flying off the handle the way he had when he found out about Todd. He wished none of this had happened; that Edd hadn't left. He wanted desperately to go back in time and pick his ass off the floor and stop the sockhead before letting him walk out of his life. There were things he wanted to say, wounds to heal, but none of those things possible now. It affected him deeply to know he now had to live with the fact that what could have been prevented was not.

Tears rimmed the edges of his eyes while micro sized snowflakes landed atop his eye lashes. He missed Edd so much. Only hours have passed but it felt like an eternity had crept on by. Time was on the precipice of standing still and he just didn't feel right.

Damnit nothing felt right. Everything was wrong and he didn't know how to fix it. For the first time in a long time Kevin felt useless. His purpose was gone and now he felt unfinished. Incomplete and so… lost.

Kevin banged his head on the rail three times. He really screwed things up.

Thankfully a reprieve came in the form of a door chime.

He turned to go back inside but was mildly surprise to see his front door swing open of its own accord. In stepped a sight for sore eyes, dressed in nothing but the best. Amber eyes clashed with pretty much everything the man wore, his gold earrings clinking together as he flipped bright teal hair out of his line of vision. That same teal hair had spilled over spotted earmuffs while a black sweater practically engulfed his wiry frame, but nothing could ever be large enough to engulf the fun loving personality Kevin never knew he needed as much as he did now.

"Kevin?"

Nathan all but skipped inside, turning from side to side in search of his friend. It didn't take long for the model to find him. A brown paper bag was in his hand and he held it up, smiling like he always did.

"Yoohoo! Kevin, I brought schnapps."

Kevin felt the corners of his mouth tip northward and for once since Eddward's departure did Kevin feel a sense of right wash over him. Everything at the moment felt so overwhelming, so suffocating, but Nathan's presence always had a way of parting the sea of uncertainty and bringing a sense of understanding wherever he goes. Nathan met him half way, leaving the bag on the kitchen counter. He smiled, but not out of pity and Kevin could have kissed him right there because of it- but not really. You know, because they were friends and all. Then it would just be awkward.

"Hey buddy."

The two fell into a tight embrace. It was short lived but the grip Kevin had on him told Nathan everything he needed to know. Ron hadn't been wrong when he called Nat to explain Kevin's disturbing behavior. While it wasn't surprising Kevin had a temper, the way he took it out on his co-worker was worrying. By the looks of it Ron was rightly concerned. Kevin looked as if he were on the brink of a nervous breakdown, hair dishevel and eyes rimmed red as if having staved off an endless stream of tears for hours; but Nathan had been around Kevin long enough to know exactly what he needed.

"Come on. Let's get hammered and watch Titanic."


What did you guys think? Love it? Hate it? Or just eh?

Let me know what you thought. I'm always interested in knowing.

Until later,

Ciao~