***Haruka***
Thanking her for the borrowed research, I said goodbye to Miyo Takano. I headed home right away to read the woman's research and figure out what to do next. Just as I settled down to start reading, however, the door alarm rang.
"Is that you, Kasai?" I asked, approaching the apartment door.
"No. It's me." It was Mion's voice.
How was I supposed to feel when a family member who betrayed and tortured me just stopped by for a visit? Anyone would feel rage. I hadn't spoken to Mion since the night of my denailing, and I honestly hated her. If only I could invite her in and beat her up! But I remembered that Mion knew kenjutsu and a little bit of jujutsu. There was no way I could beat her if she fought back.
Perhaps not beating up my sister was best, I thought, since it would be the equivalent of declaring war on the Sonozaki family. Anxiety mixed with my resentment: two flavors, like chocolate and peanut butter, which went well together but were usually unhealthy. In order to avoid more punishment from Oryo or drama from the clan, I needed to leave Mion untouched.
Fine then, I thought. I would simply let her say what she wanted to say, make a quick cup of tea, and politely ask her to be on her way. It would be a short visit. I opened the door. Mion stood there looking lovely but anxious in her pale-colored country dress and boyish, bronze-colored vest. She wore her hair in a single long ponytail: a practical hairstyle for a girl so physically active. I attempted to smile, muttered a welcome, and headed to the kitchen to make tea.
In a moment, Mion and I were sitting at the dining table across from each other. Mion maintained proper posture, glancing this way and that, and taking occasional sips of the green tea in front of her. Meanwhile, I leaned forward, staring at the tabletop, letting loose strands of my hair fall over my face and hide my grim expression. I could not bring myself to smile or make eye contact.
"You have a nice apartment," Mion broke the silence. "So… um… how are things going?"
She wanted to pretend like nothing had happened? Fine; I decided to play along.
"In August I'll be starting a new school here in Okinomiya. The place looks boring. I'll still go…"
As my voice trailed off, losing its fake cheer, Mion looked down and lowered her brows with worry. She had realized that fake conversation would not work. She hesitated before saying anything else.
"Hey… are your nails healing alright?"
She would dare to ask me that, with that stupid, apologetic look on her stupid country face?!
"The wounds have finally all closed up." I managed to muster a little more fake politeness. "But they'll still be messed up for months. I don't want to let anyone see them."
Mion whispered earnestly, "Shion… I'm sorry."
She had to be trolling me! She was baiting me, trying to get me to betray my rage! No can do, Mion, I thought. I happened to be great at sarcasm. Yes, so I would keep talking as if Mion hadn't said the most preposterous thing she could possibly say.
"There's no need to apologize. You were just doing your duty as heiress. I don't blame you at all." I closed my eyes and put on a fake smile. With cheery irony, I announced, "Okay! What's done is done! I accept your apology!"
"Will you really forgive me?" asked my dense twin, not picking up on the irony. "I really am sorry. And I'm also sorry… you can't be with Satoshi. You… really liked him, huh?"
"Well," I said while dripping sarcasm, "yeah, you know, since I kinda declared my love for him in front of everybody! Haha!"
Mion finally picked up on the irony and stood up out of her chair. "Grandma truly thought you took responsibility for that," she stated emphatically. "After she saw it hurt you so much, she really forgave you. But now… now… I wonder where Satoshi is."
How ridiculous. Of course Mion knew what happened to Satoshi. She was the heir of the Sonozaki family, who had undoubtedly kidnapped and murdered Satoshi. By saying she wondered where he was, Mion broke down the fragile walls of my mental stability. I don't remember what happened next because apparently I switched to being Haruka. Mion told me what happened later, but I still have no memory of actually doing what I did.
Seeing the savage glare on my—Haruka's—face, Mion chuckled nervously. "Sorry, Shion, but I really don't know what happened to Satoshi."
"You're lying." Haruka's whisper was vicious but contained.
"It's the truth!" insisted Mion. "Grandma doesn't know anything about it either."
Haruka raised her voice. "YOU'RE LYING! You're lying, lying, lying!"
Haruka leaped out of her chair and pounced on Mion. Going down so easily, Mion must have seen an attack coming, but for some reason she chose not to react. Haruka's hands quickly found her throat and got a good, strong grip. I said I didn't remember any of this, but I do sometimes experience the memories in my dreams. In a dream, I remember the way I gripped my sister's neck. I remembered enjoying the fact that she was helpless. I remember wanting to choke her till her neck broke. But Haruka didn't want to instantly strangle Mion. She wanted to make sure Mion heard my words.
"You 'spirited' Satoshi away!" Haruka roared. "You and the Sonozaki family!" She tightened her grip, blocking Mion's airway. "You're all guilty! All of you!" Haruka squeezed with all her strength. "Give me back my Satoshi-kun!"
With only seconds left to live, Mion tried to say something, but could not speak. She lifted her left arm, as it spasmed from lack of oxygen, and tried to grab Haruka's wrist. At that moment, Haruka—or I—must have seen the scars on Mion's left hand.
My personalities switched abruptly, and I was back to being Shion. I found that my heart was racing, I was on top of Mion, and my hands had just released their hold on her throat. I sat up on my knees, dazed and confused. Meanwhile, Mion gasped for air, lying on her back on the floor, with tears falling from her beryl-blue eyes. Oh god, I thought; what if I had actually killer her?!
Before I could begin to process what had happened, I looked again at Mion's hand, and finally understood. She had three ugly patches of pink scar tissue in place of three of her nails: pinky, ring finger, and middle finger. Her wound was identical to mine. I gaped at her, open-mouthed.
"It was too cruel!" Mion sobbed. "Making you alone rip out your nails! Why do such bad things always happen to you, Shion? We're twins, so why is everything so unfair? Before you were brought to the underground chamber, I yelled at Grandma about this. I wanted her to leave you and Satoshi alone! She said she would, if only you took her punishment. I told her I wanted the punishment, then, too. So after you left, I denailed myself too! Grandma was satisfied. Everything should have been alright for you both after that. But then… Satoshi disappeared!"
My sister lay on the floor, crying freely. Between sobs, she still had to gasp for breath. Her eyes were shut tightly, like she couldn't stand to see any more cruelty. This was the first time I had ever seen Mion act so vulnerable in front of me. Instinctive empathy took over—of course I still cared about my sister. Of course I shouldn't kill her. Of course I should let her speak.
"Please believe me, Shion!" she exclaimed desperately. "I really don't know why Satoshi disappeared!"
Looking at Mion's sincere, tear-stained face and mutilated, scarred hands had a strong effect on me. I made up my mind. In my head, I told my demon—Haruka—that we were all going to believe Mion. For as long as I lived, I would hate the Sonozaki family. But it was hard to imagine truly hating Mion. I imagined how much pain she must feel, being so naturally honest, but always being pressured and forced into doing terrible things in the name of the family. I would forgive Mion. I would also seal away my memories of Satoshi deep inside my heart. Playing detective would end as well. If I stopped myself from thinking about Satoshi and the crimes my family may have committed, I could move past this pain, while still loving my sister.
I leaned over and cradled Mion's head in my arms. "I'm sorry, Mion," I said gently. "I'm sorry you had to live through the same thing I did. Your nails… well… I know it must have hurt."
"It must have been much worse for you," Mion cried.
I laid my head against hers and held her close. I stroked her face, wiping the tears away. No more words were needed. We were twins. We would always feel the same pain. We would always be together.
***Keiichi Maebara***
A year passed relatively peacefully after that. I continued to suffer from PTSD, and my multiple personalities surfaced from time to time, but Haruka did not return. I buried my bitterness and devoted myself to my new school, but the feelings of the previous year silently gnawed away at me deep down. I made a few acquaintances at school, but I could talk to none of them about the things that happened to me. That's why I was glad to have Mion. She came over often, and we chatted, teased, competed, and shared with each other as if nothing had happened between us. Sometimes I would feel hatred toward her, like after a flashback, but I quickly reminded myself that I had forgiven Mion.
The catalyst that got my tragic story moving again, in May 1983, was Keiichi Maebara. I heard his name from Mion, who went to school with him and had an enormous crush on him. I met the boy in town one day when I went grocery shopping. Hinamizawa was pretty in the late spring, and the produce sold there was much higher quality than the stuff in the Okinomiya Market. So I decided to acquire my groceries in my sister's neck of the woods.
On the way out of the Market, I accidentally knocked over a motorcycle that had been illegally parked right by the doors. The owner of the bike, along with his two pals, surrounded me and yelled at me in a dialect I could barely understand. Were they the same three from last June? The déjà vu nearly overwhelmed me—this had happened before—but I managed to keep my head in the game.
Just as I reached to my large back pocket for my Taser, a boy approached us and shouted, "Hey, stop!" His back faced the setting sun, so at first all I could see was a silhouette. For a moment—just a tiny, frozen moment—I hoped that Satoshi had returned. I hoped he had come to my rescue again. As the boy approached, however, the shade of the buildings revealed him. The boy was not Satoshi. He had a similar height, build, and face shape, but his hair was deep umber and his eyes were dark greyish black. His voice was deeper too. Still, though… in some ways he was very similar to Satoshi.
"Are you ok, Mion?" the boy asked after he had called help and the bikers had cleared out. "You should be fine now. I'll pretend that I didn't see you looking like you were about to cry. Come on, cheer up!"
Then the boy, Keiichi, extended his right arm toward me. He gave me an innocent, affectionate pat on the head. That little gesture, however, left me stunned and speechless. Satoshi had patted me that way too, ruffling my hair briefly and smiling. How was I supposed to handle the sudden flood of thoughts about my dear Satoshi? I was so confused and depressed that I forgot to tell Keiichi I was not Mion.
Despite myself, I was curious about Keiichi. Because I had nothing better to do, and because I wanted to know about this mysterious transfer student, I met with Keiichi a few more times. One day he came to Angel Mort, but we hardly talked about anything because he refused to believe that I wasn't Mion. He thought that Mion's twin sister was just a fantasy.
A few days later, Mion came over to hang out. She told me a lot about Keiichi, and though I teased her, I listened to everything she said. My sister definitely had a crush on that boy. I could tell because she worried about what he might think incessantly. She told me about how she went to that toy store with her classmates, and how Keiichi won a porcelain doll in a game tournament. Instead of offering it to Mion, he gave the doll to Rena Ryuugu, who obviously seemed like more of a girl than Mion.
"I want to do it over!" Mion exclaimed despondently. "I want to go back to the time when I first met Keii-chan! I would make him see me as a girl, too!"
"Onee, I'm sure you're overreacting," I assured my sister. "You have all the time in the world to change things. It's not like you and Keiichi even had a real fight, right? Just be yourself and hit on him naturally. Oh yeah, and don't forget to put that girl, Rena, in her place!"
I tried to sound upbeat and encouraging, but Mion just became more anxious.
"You're right," she said worriedly; "Rena is definitely really cute! I have a rival…"
"You've got to move fast, then," I said, beginning to tease her again. "Rivals are great for getting you to make your move and stake your claim! Hmm, maybe I should be another rival. I've learned a lot at school about what guys think is cute. I smile sweetly at the right times, and other times reel them in with a few adorable tears. I've got the model for 'moe' memorized. I think I'll try it on Keiichi… maybe the two of us should race for his affections…"
"No way!" cried Mion, never one to be able to pick up on a joke. "Absolutely not! If you seriously try to get Keiichi, I'll kick you out of Hinamizawa. Don't ever come to my school!"
I smiled at my enthusiastic sister, panicking in response to my teasing. How happy she must be, I thought. And I was happy for her, too… and yet, I envied Mion for having this normal, slightly silly young romance. As for me, those days were over. Satoshi was dead. I couldn't look at other boys. So I had no special person in my life. Something else also occurred to me: nobody would object to seeing Mion with Kei-chan. Even if they were to fall deeply in love, nobody would punish them for it.
"I mustn't be jealous for that," I told myself. "I mustn't feel envy. I mustn't wish punishment upon those two just because of the things that happened to me."
The last thing I wanted to do was resent my only sister. But she kept making me think of Satoshi. And she kept unintentionally parading her privilege in front of me. How was I supposed to stay stable? Soon, the monster within me would wake again.
