Surprise! The next chapter bright and early just for you guys. Don't worry, it isn't an author's note or anything like that. I know, I've had heart attacks over good stories only to find them ended unexpectedly :( no fun. But thankfully that is not the case today.

Ok, I bet your thinking 'Yunnora! Two chapters in two days? What gives?' Well today is my birthday (yay!) and I felt like since you've all been asking about Kevin I figured the wait has been long enough. I've got a bit of writing to keep up with after posting this but I think it will be well worth it. I know you've guys have been tearing your hair out wondering why Kevin hasn't gone after Edd yet SO here's the chapter to answer that.

Thank you everyone who left reviews. I did my best to answer each and every one of them. Some were restricted so I couldn't respond but thank you all! Even the guests. Just because you're anonymous doesn't mean your review is worth any less. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, opinions and rants with me! I did not think chapter 47 would have such a turn out but I was pleasantly surprised.

Again thank you! This chapter is for you guys.

Enjoy!


"Before we continue I must ask you something. In regards to, well us."

The world was spinning. Well, more like it had been spinning. For days now, tilting and swerving to Kevin's drunken delight. Words from a voice that haunted him day and night kept returning to the forefront of his mind, shattering the giddy buzz he often fell mercy to after chugging two beers on an empty stomach. His dinner sat untouched in its to-go box, his soda pop left out to warm and his fortune cookie still on the ground from where it had fallen out of the bag. His lap top had remained untouched for days and his work schedule had been crudely written down a used napkin. The napkin was here somewhere, he just didn't remember what he did with it. He'd be remiss if he were to have accidently tossed it out. He had no energy to pick himself up and to go to his laptop to copy down his schedule again. Besides it sounded like the most tedious thing in the universe.

Nah, right here on the floor is nice.

Kevin hummed, letting yet another memory wash over him. In his drunken stupor he couldn't contain them. He was powerless to keep them away. If he were sober, however, he knew he'd never let himself think of them.

"I really think you could benefit from an arrangement like that."

Wow. He really was an arrogant ass. No wonder Nat threw the book at him.

"Without having to deal with the bullshit baggage that comes along with a relationship, you can explore all you want with little to no restraint."

Hmph. Some restraint he showed.

He hated when Nathan was right. He had been jealous. As green as envy could get. It took time and contemplation but Kevin eventually came to realize his and Edd's fight had been utterly pointless. The heartache unnecessary. The jolly green giant that was Kevin's jealous ass had forced them both into this awkward situation, questioning moral ambiguity when in fact there was nothing to question in the first place. Kevin was not Eddward's boyfriend. Where in the hell had he come off thinking he had the right to be as upset as he was when he found out about Todd? Dear god, he was an ass. The ass of all asses. The big kahuna of them all.

Kevin buried his face into arm, inhaling sharply.

The hum of the refrigerator sang somewhere in the backdrop of his apartment, water pumping through the pipes of the dishwasher amplified by the emptiness of his kitchen. He had cleaned the house from top to bottom once again but stopped for a beer break about two hours prior. The broom sat slumped against the slider and the couch cushions flipped on the ground but none of the bits of dirt and debris cleaned out from the couch itself. Rolled up paper towels sat on the counter waiting to be tossed into the garbage but Kevin had no energy to move.

Eventually he found himself perched on the kitchen counter, his back against the wall. One leg was propped on the counter and the other dangling off the edge. The empty can didn't sit in his hand for long. When the last golden wheat drop fell past his lips Kevin crushed the can single handedly and tossed it towards the trash can. To his ever growing misfotune it missed and clattered noisily on the ground. Inwardly he cursed.

Just another fuckup from the world's greatest fuck up. His inebriated brain supplied.

"Hmm. How fitting." He slurred. "All the worlds a stage and I'm the fucking prop."

Kevin lifted his hand to his face only to realize there was nothing in his hand. His upheld hand curled into a white knuckled fist seconds before colliding with the tile counter. He couldn't stop thinking about Edd. He wondered if the sockhead would be astounded or ashamed by his current behavior. Lounging about with nothing done. For shame, he would say.

Kevin's breath came out in a shallow shaky sigh. For shame indeed.

Nathan and made him promise he'd take care of himself after leaving. He wasn't doing such a good job of that but the space provided by accomplishing nothing had given him time to think. With his brain in such a clutter Kevin thought he might not ever figure things out.

To leave things undone was not his way. There were no parting words, no finally to bring an end to whatever it was that he and Eddward had shared. Was it love? Or was it just some unhealthy obsession of his? Kevin wondered if he had ever thought it through when he took the sockhead under his wing. He questioned his intentions severely. He was no savior. He had no business doing dragging the kid along for the ride. Kevin thought he had done something right, something that would change his life. He wondered what could have possibly led him to believe he could better another human being. He hadn't thought it out fully. The reality of it was that it wasn't his place to play fate. For whatever purpose he had concocted to justify his means didn't change the fact that he had royally screwed himself.

What an idiot he was. Kevin was no Henry Higgins.

Collecting his head in his hands, the motorcyclist gave in so chest shuddering sob. That thing about men not crying was complete and utter bullshit. Kevin wanted nothing more than to let it all go. He felt wrong and out of place. Disgruntled and confused. Where did his mind end and his heart begin? Did it even matter at this point?

"You allowed your anger to guide you and here you are wondering where it all went wrong."

He couldn't get Nat's voice out of his head. For hours he had to listen to his own thoughts circle round and round like a hamster in a broken wheel, taking in the model's words like a thirsty sponge. He was hurt enough as it was and still at a loss for all that Nat had said. He had to conscience to blame for it.

"If you kept a better eye on your shit, maybe you wouldn't have lost."

You think, his tipsy mind supplied. Maybe if he had just ignored the dork in the first person, been like everybody else and walked right over his homeless ass, then he wouldn't be where he was now. He wouldn't feel so betrayed and disgusted with himself. He had trusted Edd! He-

"Kevin you guys aren't even dating."

Kevin growled, throwing his fist against the wall. "Shut up!" But his mind refused.

"You have got to stop lying to yourself."

Was it not easier to just to lie to one's self? Was it such a crime to protect what's left of your sanity?

"You never would have freaked like you did if the kid didn't mean something special to you."

He wasn't Kevin's special someone. He couldn't be. At least not anymore. Not after Todd. Not after ripping his heart out stomping on it. Kevin slammed his fist against the wall once more before pushing off the counter. His throbbing fingers raked at the clean white tile.

"You couldn't think past your own jealous thoughts."

Kevin spat on the floor. He'd clean it up later but he couldn't swallow those words. His love. Who's love? Why did it even fucking matter anymore?

"It's eating you up inside."

His vision began to blur. He had given up long ago on the alcohol's affects kicking in but now it seemed to want to provide him with that saving grace he craved. The cabinet doors began to warp, his head falling to the side. He felt flushed and incredibly hot. He wanted to kick his shoes off.

His legs carried him long before his mind could register where. The couch came at him quickly and he fell face first into its dirty and cushion-less belly. He was feeling incinerated in his clothing and chucked his shirt off as quickly as he could. He found temporary relief, the cool wind of the fan overhead sweeping over his freckled skin. From somewhere in the depths of his pocket Kevin felt a slight bulge rub up against his thigh. It was his phone and currently it felt heavy, weighing him down like an anvil in water. His breath escaped in a shallow shudder as he plucked the phone from his pocket.

The screen was covered in blue jean lint and with a grunt he wiped it off. He hadn't bothered to touch his phone in days. He had no motivation to call or text anyone. At the bottom of the screen was a blinking green icon and Kevin would bet two out of the five unread messages on his phone were from his mother. He saw he also missed a private call.

His fingers sped over the key pad, tapping away with lightning speed. His mother had heard about what happened at work and had asked if he was ok. The next message she had offered to come by before heading to the shop but that was days ago. He told her not to worry. Eventually he'd figure this all out but in the mean time needed his space. He promised he'd come to visit her in the next couple of days and moved on to the next message. There was a voice mail from his father asking him about taking another personal day and two confirmation texts from his cell phone plan. He made quick work of deleting them.

His phone beamed bright in his eyes and Kevin tried not to blink too many times. His left eye burned but he ignored the mild pain in favor of exploring the contents of his cellular device. The battery was full and he honestly had nothing better to do.

He scrolled rather plainly through his photos and contacts. Because he lived on a budget Kevin kept himself from purchasing too many apps. They only served to clutter phone space and take up too much bandwidth anyways so he wasn't too remiss to scan through them too quickly. He thought about playing a round of candy crush but completely skipped over it to see into his contacts. The list was short and at this point shrinking. Cassandra was but a name of black text among others.

As thoughts of her poured in the red-head sighed.

He hadn't spoken to the bubbly waitress in a while, not since her shocking confession. Honestly Kevin didn't know what to do with that information. Honestly he hadn't allowed himself to think very long on it. How was he supposed to feel about it? Excited? Angry? Cassandra had clearly expected something from him but when he failed to deliver, she up and split- never to be found or heard from again. He could have thrown his arms into the air and sardonically laughed at it all. Nat had given him the third degree. Cassandra wasn't talking to him and Edd had taken off with some asshole. Not to mention his job was being a pain in the ass, and, wait a minute- did he miss a test today? Was there class today?

Fuck!

What was his world coming to?!

Kevin thought of that saying: 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' Well, no one ever told him lemonade made piss as well. Everything in his life right now was nothing but excrement as a result of one bad decision after another. He wondered where he went wrong. Kevin was a good guy. He paid his bills on time, he never lied, and kept every promise he ever made. He just didn't understand shit anymore and it was pissing him off.

Even with all the advice Nathan could give him the red-head still felt unsure of himself. The effects of the alcohol flowing through blood stream had begun to wane the longer he sat on the couch. He lay there for a good three hours, slowly munching away at his take out. The finger food was a tad stale from having been left out in the open but it was within reaching distance. Eventually he scrambled for the cookie too.

Kevin had no fucks to give.

His finger swiped across the greasy screen of his phone with the laziest speed he could manage. His eyes didn't even bother focusing on the images flashing before them, faces blurring and moments that should have brought warm happy feelings going by without so much as a- his finger held fast over the screen and with some effort Kevin blinked his vision back into focus. Rubbing his eyes Kevin pushed himself up from the couch, emerald orbs no longer staring vacantly into the pixilated image that greeted him.

There in the dead center of his phone was an image he had saved a while back. A special picture he'd taken to look back on when a certain someone wasn't around for him to directly admire. A photograph he had nearly forgotten he'd taken. Chrome blue depths peered at him with a tantalizing smile. Porcelain skin was painted in unsightly splotches of purple and red, places where Kevin's mouth had frequently indulged. A dusty pink was sprinkled across his dork's lovely round face, soft black hair free to breathe as blue eyes glazed over in the camera's direction.

It was as if Edd was looking right through the lenses at him. Posture composed and gaze begging the red-head to come to him. It was as if the sockhead himself was right there in front of him, pleading to be set free of the moral bonds that chained him.

Kevin had captured Edd's mad decent into lust at just the right moment and the motorcycle enthusiast could feel the dry cavern of his mouth suddenly watering at the decadent very sight. His chest rose and fell in quick intervals, the last bit of alcohol in his system flickering out of existence. All that was left now was a pounding in his head and an ache in his chest.

"Edd."

His thumb brushed ever so gently across the screen. God he could remember that night like it was yesterday. Edd had looked perfectly edible, perched back on his bike like a trophy, arms thrown wantonly over his head onto the handle bars and legs parted to grant Kevin access to forbidden territory. The feel of those curious hands exploring his body… the taste of that wicked tongue coating his mouth in divine sweetness…

His fingers curled into the couch cushion.

Soft succulent lips... That tight ass that sat perfectly into the seat of his palms…

His grip on his phone tightened. The power button was pressed and the sultry image that had caught his attention blinked out of view.

His delightful laughter that sounded like music... The beauty of his unique intelligence…

Kevin rose from the couch. He stood tall and erect, glaring across the room to stare at his blackened reflection in the T.V.

And the gaddamn son of a bitch who took him!

Kevin circled around the coffee table, uncaring when his leg bumped into the corner and knocked over his food. He stormed his way towards his slider, getting a better look at his reflection in the clean clear glass. Both of his hands were fisted, one biting his nails into the palms of his hand and the other gripping his phone with such force he almost believed he could break it that way. His head was held up, eyes a blaze with new found fury. In the very reflection of the glass he could see all that had gone down the day Edd left.

Some twit with blue eyes and raisins for nuts had come barging into his home. While the bruises had healed Kevin's pride had not. He had the nerve to walk right into Kevin's home uninvited and attack him. There was something majorly messed up about a man invading another man's sanctuary. It was un-fucking-acceptable in his opinion. Oh if only he had the chance he'd beat that fucker into the ground like the piece of dirt he was. What was his name again? Erwin? Sherwin? Something like that.

Edd's eyes had been filled with fear that day. Fear Kevin had put there. He could now admit he had over reacted. Learning about Tod the dickweed had sent him into a jealous rage that even he could not contain. Kevin's bias mind had wanted to keep the dork for himself. Because of who Edd was Kevin had never expected the sockhead to go and do something so far out of the ordinary as that. It had taken him by surprise and he had reacted in the worst possible manner.

He hated seeing that look in Edd's eyes. At first the anger, and then the guilt. His eyes were far too beautiful to be filled with such toxic feelings. In a sane world Edd's eyes would only ever glow with happiness. It was how it was supposed to be but Kevin had finally come to realize just how he fucked it all up for himself. Every shitty situation he was currently in was of his own doing. He couldn't lay the fault with anyone but himself.

Nat's words followed him from the sliding door to the opening of the hall. Across the hall sat a single closed door, just across the way from his bedroom.

"I think it's time you looked at yourself in the mirror and admitted to yourself that you love Edd."

From where he stood the room called to him. That ripple of revulsion that often over took him send a stream of goosebumps up the very center of his spine. He felt it tickle all the way up to his neck, his hairs standing on end as his feet moved with minds of their own towards that sealed door.

It's true. He never would have freaked the way he had if the kid didn't mean something to him. Edd was... exceptional. Special. He was… extraordinary. Unlike any other person that had come into his life.

Did Kevin actually love Edd? Was everything Nathan said completely and truly one hundred percent accurate? Honestly he didn't know. He'd been in love before but this felt nothing like the love he was used to. Whatever he shared with Edd was something else entirely. It was young. He'd even say fragile.

He was used to a love that was certain and straight forward. Not at all as complicated and nerve wracking as the bond he shared with the sockhead. Did Edd feel this way as well? Was this exquisiteness he felt whenever he looked into Edd's eyes shared whenever Edd looked into Kevin's?

Well, there was only one way to find out.

Time leaped from standing still to speeding by in the blink of an eye. Suddenly it all clicked. He knew what he had to do.

His fear could no longer hold him back as he strolled with his chin held high and his eyes set firm in determination towards the room he had been too nervous to enter. He pushed open the door and ignored how the creak of the hinges sent yet another ripple of goosebumps down his back. He shook them off, squaring his shoulders. He would not be discouraged.

He took in the unsightliness of the room, the comforter still tossed about the edge of the bed and the pillows wrinkled from past use. The room still smelt of life, as if the essence Edd had left behind had soaked into the walls and never left. The room was permeated in Edd's light scent and Kevin inhaled as much of it as his lungs could manage. Doing so steeled his nerves and never before did Kevin feel as driven as he was now. He would find Edd and face every mistake he had ever made. He would face Eddward as the man he was and not with the cowardice he had displayed.

Kevin searched the room from top to bottom. In the closet were remnants of the clothing he had bought the little nerd and a pair of shoes Kevin had completely forgotten to have loaned him. Most of Edd's belongings that he came with, he had left with. Nearly nothing Kevin had given to him was taken. While it saddened him he couldn't let that distract him. He searched through the closet like a private investigator, eyeing every crease and corner. Nothing. He moved on to the bed. It took a minute to thrash the sheets up, ripping them from the bed and throwing them into a big pile on the floor. He went searching through pockets, under the bed frame, and even ventured to the bathroom. Not a damn thing.

Kevin cursed. There has to be something he could use to find him. Anything! He'd take a freakin' Blue's Clue right now if he had to.

Wiping the sweat from his brow Kevin jogged back into the room. The living space was now thrashed. The bed lay bare and the closet doors wide open. Even the clothing was spread out on the ground, yanked free from their hangers in search of any indication that might lead to Edd's location. Taking a moment Kevin surveyed the room once more. What hadn't he looked at? What hadn't he-

The drawers!

Kevin dove right for them, skidding on his knees as he threw open the little wooden cabinet doors. He searched through them like a mad man, tossing out the phone book his mother had thought would be a good idea to put in there. Lord knew why. It wasn't like the room was a motel or anything like that. Regardless Kevin tore through the dresser door as if his life depended on it. Edd couldn't have taken every bit of himself with him. No. No, there had to be something.

Please… please… please…

Kevin's mind chanted as he threw shut the first drawer. He searched the second one only to find the place cleaned out. Again he cursed but there was one drawer left. Kevin nervously opened it.

"YES!"

Kevin dove his hand in so fast his knuckles scraped over the bottom. There in the bottom drawer was a single piece of paper. So far it was left blank but the shadow of darkness on the other side filled him with hope. Clutching the paper tight Kevin sent up a silent prayer. His fingers were shaking as he dared to flip the paper around, green eyes scanning the fine printed words written across it. Sure enough he saw Edd's name at the very top. It was his resume!

Kevin scoured the paper. Just below Edd's name was a number Kevin did not recognize and even further below that was an address. 7172 Orange Lane, California. Kevin's eyes widened further. California?! Fuck that's far! But maybe… maybe that's where he went.

He couldn't say for sure but Kevin had no other leads. There wasn't much else on the resume other than some past volunteer work and a short time internship at some computer company. Most of it, except for the internship, was located in California. Edd said he had never traveled anywhere in his life except for New York. This was it. This was what he needed to find his dork.

Kevin went tearing through his room for a calendar. It was December 17th. Wow. Time had really flown by.

It was a Thursday. Good.

Snatching up his cellphone Kevin went into over drive mode as he searched through his contact list once more. Before he could do anything there were a few loose ends he had deal with. One of them being his dad and the other, well, with this one he'd have to go out on a limb for. Even if it didn't make a difference at least he could say he tried.

By the time the call picked up Kevin was already dressed and out the door. A bright and bubbly voice broke through the other end of the receiver by the time he reached the garage.

The door lifted with a rattle, grey sunlight pouring into the darkened room to shine over the glossy frame of his beloved bike. A gust of wind blew behind him, picking up the ends of his aviator jacket and brushing it across his toned lower back. His hat sat backwards as tradition on his head, fiery strands of his wild hair poking out from the front to sweep across his forehead.

"Thanks for calling Cavern Pizza, the best in New York, how can I help you?"

"Hello, Cass? We need to talk."


And there you have it. Time to get this ball rolling!

Let me know what you guys thought. Can't wait to hear from you guys :)

Ciao!