1x02 The Freelancer did feature that restaurant scene...
I.
There were downsides to being a man's primary subject of interest, if a person's demanding ego would allow them to believe in such an unlikely conclusion. Lizzy, Elizabeth, would tell any such skeptic that yes, it was possible; no, it was no joke, nor was she trying to be unnecessarily modest.
If anyone asked why it was that she wished to avoid attention, she'd refer to the evening she was currently having.
II.
So far, Reddington's obnoxious ways could not have been a subject of her gloating or dismissal, due to what seemed to be his inborn knack for perfection. He had not failed her or her team; not yet. So, she was left with no way to ease the irritating sensation of feeling pathetically inferior to him. If anyone asked her, she would admit that yes, it was rather sad how she was trying to cure her insecurities by wanting him to show, in any way, that he was prone to mistakes, just like she was. She was like an ugly vulture – not one to capture her prey and deserve her sustenance; she was waiting for the prey to fail and die.
She had been in relatively close proximity to him way too often over the span of the past week. Proof of his unbelievable lack of flaws presented itself on silver platters and in all sorts of helpfully noticeable ways. His skin smelled good and his breath was always fresh. His shoes were always polished and very clean. Always new and in hues that complemented his suits harmonically. He cared about the way he looked, she had concluded one night in her marital bed; he paid attention to his appearance. Maybe he was vain. If anyone asked, she'd say that he was winning at everything… If one was to ignore his lost family and the necessity to never have a home to call his own. Oh, and his latest scar, she'd add with a childish smile, the round, tiny one; the one from the pen.
III.
"You could've worn sapphires or emeralds with this little dress of yours, you know. Bring a pop of colorful excitement," he informed her helpfully as they were approaching the restaurant. If anyone asked, she'd answer and say that was not fair. Observations such as this conveyed interest and care. It was how one could fool a person that they cared.
It seemed like Reddington paid attention to everyone and everything, as if it all was outstanding. Thus, nothing was truly outstanding to this all-perceiving old man. She disliked the possibility of not being special to him and she became aware of the sensation straightaway. She knew what it was. If anyone asked her, she would keep her mouth shut.
But yes, sapphires would have been nice.
IV.
"Anyone asks, you're my girlfriend form Ann Arbor." She could not see his face. He was right behind her, just a voice in her ear, as they were making their way inside the restaurant. Assuming he was serious yet light-hearted about that cover was a safe guess on her part.
"And if anyone asks about how you won me over? Should I tell them you surprised me with sapphires on our first date?" she asked as she walked to their table. She did nothing to prevent him from helping her with her chair.
"Someone's hesitant about my skills at seduction. Don't be ignorant, Lizzy," he promised her – or so she hoped. If anyone asked what, exactly, that was – his lips too close to the strands of her hair and his breath nearly touching her cheek – she'd answer that yes, she wanted that to be a promise. "Or you can be my daughter," he suggested as she took her seat on the table.
No, I can't.
V.
He asked her to profile him. She delivered. Was he giving her a chance to prove herself? Did he hope she would surprise him? If anyone asked, she'd answer that she didn't know, either.
She spoke the truth. And yes, she took pleasure in informing him that he was alone in this world, with no true friends and no home. He did not flinch. Perhaps he was unmoved. Perhaps he could see she was unnecessarily aggressive because this is what frightened vulnerable animals did in the scary, unknown wild.
It bothered her, the possibility of being boring in his eyes. "You think like a cop." "You do what you've been trained to do." She disappointed him. Had their shared past led him to believe she was in any way extraordinary? It saddened her but, in that instance, she was the bearer of bad news. She was not what he'd hoped.
If anyone asked, she'd blame the night before, when her insecure mind, that same mind that longed for approval and adoration, dreamt of Reddington fingering her. He was aggressive and was using three fingers to rub her hard and fast. She woke up and was contracting still. She wondered if his sophistication allowed him to be so quick and ruthless about deeds of the kind…
Later, as she tried to revive Floriana Campo in vain, she concluded that yes, Reddington had had his feathers ruffled years ago. He was ruthless when the occasion demanded it. If anyone asked, she'd confirm it.
VI.
"Am I what you expected?" she asked him. Each of them had claimed a bench and were enjoying the sight of serenity.
"In a sense." That was all she would get. Unless she asked for more.
"In what sense, exactly?"
"You are as tenacious as I thought you'd be. A little more stubborn than I would've liked. And more aggressive." The waves of his voice had changed direction. He'd craned his neck in order to look at her. She moved her body sideways, so that she could face him while still maintaining a professional distance. He could've leaned in and their faces could have been inches away from one another. She better than that.
"You'll have a vivid reminder of that. That'll leave a scar," she told him, and pointed her finger in the general direction of his neck.
"My memory services me very well even with no physical evidence, Lizzy." The tide retracted, along with his head. She straightened her body on the bench. She did wish to be the first one to have done it. She wanted to have been the first to turn her back to him. "You surprised me today. When you let me escape. Thank you."
"Repay me with answers," she negotiated, seizing the moment immediately. "About our past."
"Be careful of your husband, Lizzy." He stood up and started walking. I'll see him in the morning.
If anyone asked, she'd answer that yes, it was pathetic that she considered the thought of having a tomorrow with him to be a silver lining.
If anyone asked why she cared, she'd tell them to fuck off.
Author's note: Many thanks to my beta, Meaghan M (Juulna).
