Chapter 22

Bea was quiet the whole way to the hospital she stared out the window they got to the hospital

"We will come back later to visit you and Allie can have some time alone" kaz said

Bea just nodded then walked inside she bought flowers from the gift shop and went to allies room she walked in to see her favorite blonde laying in the bed Bea set the flowers down she leaned in a kissed Allie on the head she sat next to her and grabbed her hand

"I painted the apartment Alliecat you would like it I just thought it needed something new"

Bea looked at Allie she looked beautiful

"You need to wake up I need you Allie I need to see those gorgeous eye"

A tear escaped her eye she wiped it away I need to Be strong for Allie she thought

"That day you came in the shop I thought you were crazy you came on way to strong but I won't lie I did like it you had me from that day I will admit I was checking you out when I was shampooing you I couldn't help it I thought you were gorgeous I loved your confidence I was so weak and fragile but you sure helped me change that"

Bea smiled a little at the memory she laid her head on the bed and fell asleep she woke up when she heard talking

She noticed the room was filled Maxine kaz boomer and Franky were all there

"Sorry if we woke you" boomer said

"It's ok" Bea said as she sat back not letting go of allies hand she stared at Allie

Another week has past Bea has been drinking every night in her room hiding it from Debbie she is just trying to block her pain she sees Allie every day she is in allies room now she has her head lying next to allies hand

"You doing alright red" Franky said

"Yeah I'm fine" Bea said

They all knew she wasn't fine she had dark circles under her eyes she looked worn out physically and emotionally

"We are here for you red"

"I'm fine Franky stop asking" Bea snapped she got up and left the room closing the door behind her Bea hopped in a cab not sure where she was going she needed to get away from everyone

"I'm worried about Bea" Maxine said

"Me to" Franky said

Kaz explained to boomer and Franky how Bea stayed up all night fixing the apartment

"She is trying to Bea strong for Allie but she is hurting herself" Maxine said

Bea ended up at the bar where she first saw Allie perform at she needed a drink she sat down at bar

"What can I get you" the bartender asked

"I'll take whiskey can I open a tab to" the bartender nodded

"Here you go"

she drank it and got another her phone was ringing Maxine was calling she forwarded the call she drank the second one and got another she is tired of everyone asking if she is ok she knows they care about her but she is the furthest thing from ok she needs her Alliecat she misses that voice and her smirk that make her go weak at the knees she remembered that night when she was here she was shocked it was Allie on stage she started falling for allie that moment she finished her fourth drink paid and left she was feeling fuzzy from the drinks now so she decided to walk around a little she heard her phone go off it was Debbie

"Hey Debbie" she said her daughter always making her mood better

"Mum where are you"

"I went for a walk" Bea lied

"I'm at the apartment everyone is here we ordered Chinese it just got here come eat"

"I'll be there in a little bit" Bea hung up and sighed she found a cab hopped in

"Where you off to"

She gave her address and said stop at a liquor store first

The driver drove her to a liquor store she ran in a bot a bottle jack she stuck the bag in her purse for later she thought five minutes later she was at her apartment she went to her door she took in a deep breath then opened the door and walked

"Hey mum where did you go"

"Just for a walk" Debbie hugged her

"You smell like alcohol" she said

Bea ignored the comment and sat down on the couch

"Mum"

"Yeah baby" Bea said looking at Debbie

Bea didn't look like herself she looked tired sad her eyes were red she smelt like liquor she looked like she lost weight Debbie was sick of the way her mum was acting she is hurting herself it's not healthy to push your emotions down she needed to know if she was drunk again

"Are you drunk"

"Debbie I had a few drinks at the bar but I'm not drunk ok" Bea said getting annoyed at all the questions

"So you lied to me" Debbie said Bea sighed getting frustrated

"No I didn't lie when you called I was going for a walk I needed to clear my head yes I had some drinks before alright now are we done with all the questions"

"Mum you aren't ok I know you have been drinking and then you spontaneously painting the apartment when it didn't even need it you never even bothered explaining why" Debbie said getting mad

Bea got up furious

"Debbie you don't know what you are talking about It needed it" Bea said in a stern

"why don't you both calm down" Maxine said seeing the mum and daughter getting furious they really are alike

"No" both said at the same time raising their voices

"I'm worried about look at you you're a fucking mess and you think I don't know you drink every night you don't have to go through this alone don't be so god damn stubborn we are here for you and you are shutting yourself away from everyone that loves you and you painted the apartment and pulled an all nighter cleaning it like a crazy person you never bothered to explain why to me we are all hurt allie is in a coma" Debbie yelled standing up in front of bea

Bea was beyond furious now she exploded she has been holding all of this inside since everything happened

"You want to know why I changed it so bad Debbie" Bea yelled "I couldn't fucking live in this apartment if it was the same I needed to change it all I kept seeing was Allie almost dying I scrubbed everything like a crazy person all I saw was the blood from Allie on the floor from her being stabbed I had to change it I killed someone in here yes it was self-defense I know I shouldn't feel guilty considering what that monster of a man put me through but I do I hate myself for it I killed him and allie still almost lost her life" tears streaming down her face

"Mum" Debbie said not knowing that was why but Bea didn't hear she continued to yell

"Yes I have been drinking every night it numbs the pain I can't sleep because when I do I have nonstop nightmare of allie dying getting stabbed in front of me Allie hasn't been awake in weeks because of me I'm tired of everyone asking if I'm alright no I'm not fucking alright I can't eat I can barely sleep I'm tired emotionally and physically I'm exhausted and all I want is for Alliecat to wake up there is that what you all wanted to hear" she was sobbing now she needed to get away she went to her room and slammed she was so mad at herself she picked up an empty bottle and threw it at the door making it shatter she then threw another before falling to the ground sobbing she leaned against the wall her knees to her chest crying Debbie ran in the room followed by their friends Debbie spotted Bea on the floor she sat next to Bea and pulled her into a strong embrace while Bea sobbed in her shoulder she calmed down after a while Debbie heard Bea saying something but couldn't understand what

"What mum" Debbie pulled away slightly

"I'm so sorry I screamed at you like that you didn't deserve that I'm sorry for everything Debbie I don't know how to handle any of this"

"No I'm sorry mum I shouldn't have pushed you like that we are all here for you mum I love you"

"I love you so much Debbie" she hugged her tightly

She turned to her friends

"I'm sorry to all of you to I've been an idiot"

"Your hurting Bea not an idiot" kaz said

"Like I said before red we are here for you and Allie" Franky said

Maxine got up and pulled Bea up into a hug

"Bea you and Debbie are very scary when mad remind me not to get on your bad side" Maxine said making them all laugh

"Yeah your telling me I've seen Debbie rip Allie a new one" kaz said making Bea and Debbie laugh

"What when was this" Franky asked

"Bea and Allie were going through their first fight Allie was being stupid and let a few days go by without talking to Bea she didn't even come over here well Debbie came banging on the door I swear she would of broke it down if no one answered well Allie did she stormed in and yelled at Allie pretty much telling her to get her head out of her fucking arse and fix it she then threw a key the apartment at her Allie was left speechless" they all laughed Bea wrapping her good arm around Debbie

"Novak was speechless" boomer said

"I don't think I've ever seen her speechless" Franky laughed

They all left eventually Bea showered and laid in bed Debbie coming in the room

"Can I sleep in here mum"

"Of course" Debbie crawled in bed

"I love you mum"

"I love you to Debbie

Bea finally slept a good night of sleep with Debbie next to her