Chapter 7:

"Talk."

I had just turned into the side street when Sasuke's voice spoke from above. I froze mid-step and slowly looked up, catching sight of him perched on top of the wall, his arms folded, his eyes matching the sky above.

I looked away, feeling drained. I had thought about blowing him off, about pretending to forget but what was stopping him from showing up at our doorstep and who knew what he would hear.

I walked to where he was sitting and sat underneath him, my legs stretching out onto the sidewalk, my body relaxing. He stayed put for a few moments, moments I relished as I pieced together exactly what I wanted to say to him. There was no harm in telling him what had happened, the reason why we knew the Sand Genin so well and I prayed that instead of piquing his interest, Sasuke would get the memo that staying away was in his best interest.

Then again just thinking about Gaara and the rest of them made me think about their true purpose in Konoha. It would be unlike them to team up with Orochimaru but I knew them well enough to not care much either. We knew the Sand wasn't everything they were made out to be and they were as much of a threat to the Leaf than they were allies.

"Hey." Sasuke said.

I looked to where his voice drifted from and found that he had jumped off his spot on the wall and was now standing in front of me.

I took a breath. "Only if you tell me a few things too."

"What do you want to know?" He asked before easing down beside me.

I hugged my knees to my chest and looked at the ground, my mind racing. What did I want to know? I had to get him to trust me, but to do that I had to have a good idea of how to do it. So far Sasuke had proven to be a complete mystery to me and the more we spoke the bigger that mystery grew.

"How did your sensei get the Sharingan?" I asked.

Sasuke didn't say anything at first and it was only when I was turning my head to shoot him a glance that he exhaled and answer.

"I don't know."

"You know that the Sharingan is an exclusive Dojutsu for your clan, right?" I asked.

"I'm aware." Sasuke said, hisi voice dryly. "Thanks for the reminder."

I turned to shoot him a glare. "So you never thought to get to the bottom of how he got the technique?"

"I had better things to worry about." Sasuke said and folded his arms. "Besides, it's not too hard to figure out with that scar running down his eye."

I arched an eyebrow, my glare fading. "What do you mean?"

"It had to have been given to him, implanted in his eye or something. He's not an Uchiha, he's far from it."

I nodded and looked down at my feet.

"My turn." Sasuke said. "Tell me."

I closed my eyes. "It's a long story."

"Make sure to skip to all the important parts." Sasuke said. "I don't plan on staying here all night."

"Like Hideki said, we've had many missions with them. You get to know people that way, really get a sense of what they're about. We knew the Sand Genin were good. They were known for their brutality, especially Gaara. He was ruthless, is ruthless." I hugged my legs tighter.

"Our mission was about as simple as it was with Gato. We had to gather evidence that a village was planning on starting a war within the Land of Water. We were paired up with the Sand Genin and we went to the village, posing as visitors. Of course with a face like Gaara's, a few people caught on, didn't believe we were who we said we were."

"Once a fight broke out, I knew we were in trouble and we needed to get that information fast. We had to do whatever it took to find at least a shred of proof. We found it, a secret hideout near the center of the village. We infiltrated and were fighting for our lives when we realized the conspiracy didn't stem from the hideout. It stemmed from the whole village. Everyone was in the know and everyone was against us. Innocent people…children…"

I squeezed my eyes shut and felt a familiar wetness light my eyes. I titled my head back to keep the tears from falling, knowing how it would look in Sasuke's eyes if he saw me cry especially after the last time tears spilled down my cheeks.

"We had to do something, we knew it. We wouldn't be able to leave the village if we didn't. We wouldn't have escaped if Gaara hadn't lost it with our hysteria. On a certain level, I always say it was our fault for panicking, for making our blood levels rise, for freaking out. It caused him to react. He's so emotional."

"What happened?" Sasuke's voice cut in and my eyes snapped open, the tears spilling from the sides of my eyes.

I quickly swiped at them, rubbing them against my cheeks, struggling to rub it all away but the memory came in full force.

We had been yelling at each other, struggling to figure out what to do next. We had been running out of time when Gaara stood up and faced the impending crowd, his head lowered, his hands in fists at his side. We hadn't expected it and even Temari and Kankuro had forgotten what he was capable of for a split second but the moment they saw him standing there, the moment they saw his gourd quake, they remembered.

"He killed them." I said. "He killed everyone and…and…he made the sky cry blood."

Sasuke stiffened slightly and the tears came down harder as I remembered the screams and cries for help and the spine-tingling sound of bones snapping in half. Then the feel of the blood coming down, sliding down my arms, mixing in my hair, dripping into my mouth…

"On some level we knew we had to…we didn't have another choice but we…but we were scared. We weren't monsters. Only monsters would do something like that." I sniffed. "But we were the monsters for driving him there, for pushing him to that point. If we had calmed down, if we had just done what we had to do he wouldn't have killed them that way. There would have been bodies to bury, there would have been survivors."

Sasuke was silent and I could feel his eyes on me as I sobbed, feeling the weight of my guilt weighing heavy in my chest. He let me let it all out, waited patiently as I sobbed into my knees, wiped my eyes and sobbed some more.

Sure what Gaara had done barely scratched the surface of the things I had done and was capable of, but it didn't make it any less my fault. I composed myself a few minutes later and managed to successfully wipe the tears from my eyes. I sniffed and looked over at Sasuke who had his knee bent, his arm balanced on top of his kneecap.

"So he killed them all." Sasuke said.

I nodded.

"But he could've stopped himself." Sasuke said.

"No." I said. "Gaara is a Jinchūriki, a holder of one of the tailed beasts. He's often possessed by it, driven to do what it wants and the sand, the sand from his gourd is an extension of the beast. If Gaara gets too worked up, if those around him panic too much, the beast can sense it all and it takes over."

"Does he remember?" Sasuke asked.

I shrugged. "We don't talk about it. We were all so stunned, so shocked. We had all seen Gaara be merciless before but it was different that time. My team and I had no idea he was that powerful and his team had been shocked that the power had reacted to that extent."

"What happened after?" Sasuke asked.

"ANBU found us all days later, Gaara had passed out from the sheer overwhelming force of it all but the rest of us were so shaken, we could barely move or form words. We've been through a lot, my team, and it brought up memories we'd all rather have kept buried. Gaara had wiped out the entire village, a village that was barely on maps and now…now it's not on any maps."

Sasuke nodded, not in a way that said he understood but in a way that hinted he believed me. I was grateful for it and I unfolded my legs, letting them stretch out in front of as I sniffed again.

I looked at him. "He's powerful, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked at me.

"He's a force to stay away from, a force you'd better pray you don't ever have to come up against. No one survives a fight with Gaara and if they do, they're never the same again." I said.

"You saying that doesn't change my mind." Sasuke said.

"Sasuke—"

"I've made up my mind." Sasuke cut me off. "I'm an avenger. If I can't face my demons, if I can't face someone like Gaara, how can I expect to get revenge?"

"Revenge?" I breathed. "Revenge for what?"

Sasuke looked away from me, his eyes turning darker.

"I want to avenge my clan."

The Uchiha massacre, I realized. He's talking about the Uchiha massacre. I had heard about the powerful Uchiha clan in my many history classes but the story was always the same. Clan dead. Lone survivor. That was all that was ever written between pages and pages of Uchiha clan history, a small blurb about their death, about their fall.

"How do you plan on doing that?" I asked.

"By becoming stronger." Sasuke said. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

I couldn't help but stare at him as I processed his words. Revenge. That was what he wanted and it was such a powerful word, with such powerful intentions behind it, I could feel it in my gut. He had all the reason in the world to seek revenge and I had to give him props for vowing to stick with it. I had never been a hateful person, that much was for certain and while I had every reason in the world to be upset with Orochimaru for everything he had done to me, for everything he had made me do, my hate simply wasn't strong enough. Every time I tried to hate him, I was struck with a memory of him treating me nicely, of him buying me popsicles and playing with me. I couldn't understand why the world held so much hatred for a man who in my head was like a father figure to me. He had promised to protect me and I had believed him and then there was Megumi-sensei telling me it had all been a lie. Telling me that that snake of a man had played me for my trust.

"Good for you." I said finally.

"What's the story behind what Zabuza said? What did he mean when he said your village was forgotten?"

I smirked and took a breath. I felt like we had climbed a big hurdle and everything that came now involved just cruising down the hill. I told him about my village, about our useless Daimyō who depended on us to do his dirty work, who had scolded us for tracking blood onto his perfectly clean floor after the Gaara mission. I told him about our beautiful village of castaways, a hidden gem in the middle of an ocean, surrounded by the thickest Genjutsu that only a select few knew how to dispel and just for a moment. I told him about Priestess Akane and how she defended us, wanted more for the village, wanted to be free from the Daimyō's reign.

He listened to all of it, studying the fire in my eyes, my smile, my expressions. He didn't interrupt me, just let me keep going until I ran out of steam a half hour later, my excitement dying down as exhaustion worked its way into my body.

"And how does Gato fit into all this?"

"He used our village. Because of how far we are from the other lands, even our own, we're the last to hear about things. A lot of bad people have shown up on our doorsteps, a lot of once great shinobi who turned rogue and sought refuge in our village. Refuge that we granted until we learned what was living amongst us but by then it was too late. We were made fools and were scolded by the Daimyō for being so silly."

"Our Daimyō doesn't usually get involved in political affairs but Gato had tried running a business in his land as well and when he found out he was doing the same to us, he wanted Gato to be dealt with." I explained. "It came down to us, ninja he didn't have to pay, ninja he could just snap his fingers at."

"Why do you do what he says?" Sasuke asked.

"Like I said before, my teammates and I aren't exactly the cleanest of people and while that might be partly due to the missions our Daimyō sends us on, it's not all him. We have to do what he says because he's allowed us to carry on, he's allowed our village to grow and prosper and have a history. He keeps us in the shadows, threatens anyone we love, and we do what he says because we don't have another choice. Yes, we could kill him but then someone even worse could take power and where would that put us? Back where we started."

I shrugged. "It's a useless fight."

Sasuke nodded and folded his arms across his chest. "I guess."

"Anything else?"

"Can't think of anything else." Sasuke said.

"Good."

"Anything else from you?" Sasuke asked.

I shrugged again. "Same as you. I'm all spent."

Silence passed between us for a few moments, but it was a peaceful silence, the kind that felt good, comfortable.

"We're going to be taking the Chunin Exams." Sasuke said. I looked at him and felt myself begin to smile.

"I'm sure Naruto is excited."

"Won't shut up about it more like it."

I giggled. "That's nice though."

"Not really." Sasuke muttered and I could hear the annoyance in his voice at the mere mention of Naruto.

"Aren't you two friends?" I asked suddenly. I had never thought about it before but I had never seen the two of them together. In fact, thinking back, they were always fighting with each other. Naruto treated Sasuke like competition and Sasuke saw him more like a waste of his time and energy.

"That's an insult." Sasuke said and rose to his feet. "Plus I don't need friends."

"Everyone needs friends." I said, earning a look from him.

"I'll be your friend." I offered. "Lucky for you I don't charge and I'm low maintenance."

"I wouldn't go around saying that everyone."

I blushed and he looked away.

"It's getting late." He said.

I nodded but the thought of going back home and facing Megumi-sensei's lecture made my stomach ache. I wasn't ready to hear her argue and I most certainly wasn't ready to pull excuses out of my butt either.

"I'm heading home." Sasuke said and started walking away when I jumped up.

"Wait." I called and he stopped walking, but kept his back to me.

I didn't have anything else left in me. I tried to think of lies, several lies, but none of them sounded right on my tongue. Plus, I could only imagine the look in his eye once I said one. We'd be right back where we started and I didn't want this feeling, this new emotion, this new burning feeling of what I assumed was trust to end.

"I'm-I'm not ready to go home yet." I managed.

He turned around to face me, his hands sliding into his pockets.

"You have something in mind?"

The last place I had expected was to end up at his front door. I hadn't known what to say when he asked what I wanted to do. I had merely blinked at him, which made his lips turn down at the edges. Then he had told me to get up. I had been nervous, walking behind him, so much so that it got the best of me and I found myself talking about nonsense, asking him useless questions about Konoha that he barely answered, but instead let me figure out and before I knew it we were at his front door.

He opened the door, revealing a darkened apartment lit only by the lights coming from his balcony and the stars above. He held the door open for me and I walked inside slowly, timidly, but then the view caught my eyes and my jaw dropped.

His room overlooked Konoha, catching the faces etched in stone at an angle. His apartment was built on a hill, not too high, but high enough that one could see the village stretch on for miles and if they squinted enough, the tops of the trees outlining it.

"This is…this is so beautiful." I breathed, walking straight to the view, pressing my hand against the sliding glass door. Of course the view was more than that too. It gave Konoha an almost magical vibe and I wondered for a brief moment how it looked when it snowed. I could imagine the tops of buildings covered in white, the strung city lanterns and light posts, giving off a dim glow. I was sure it would be just as breathtaking.

"It's alright." Sasuke said and I looked over only to blush with how close he was. He was standing a few inches away from me and stared out the window with unappreciative and uninterested eyes.

"You're insane." I said, earning a side look.

I looked back out at the city and smiled softly. "Imagine if there were fireworks…it would be even prettier."

He said nothing for a few moments. He just let me take in the view before he reached over for something between me and the glass, causing me to jump back, my muscles tense. He shot me a strange look before fidgeting with the door handle.

I looked away, heat rising to my cheeks as he opened the door and a cool breeze swept in. The night air felt crisp and the village smells from the restaurants down below drifted in, making my stomach rumble slightly. I stepped quickly out the door, onto the balcony, and walked straight to the railing, peering over to look down at the village.

"What about now?" He asked, his voice drifting up from the doorway.

I looked back at him, a smile spreading across my face. "It's even better."

He seemed a little taken aback by my words but I didn't dwell on it too long. I turned back to look down at the village, my eyes hypnotized by the lights and sounds below. In my village no one would be out at this time of night. Families would be settling down for dinner and though people seemed to be doing the same here, the streets had more life on them than I had ever seen. I imagined Kyoske, Hideki and Megumi-sensei getting ready for dinner and felt my stomach tighten. I didn't like the fact that me walking through the door would start lectures and fights, but I missed the thought of us all sitting down together and just talking. There had been less of that ever since we had arrived in Konoha. Everyone was so busy going their separate ways, focusing on their focuses, that we rarely sat down and talked to each other.

"You thirsty?"

I jumped out of my thoughts and looked back at Sasuke, leaning against the railing. It took a minute of staring at him to realize that he was watching me, almost studying me and I wasn't sure for how long.

"Yes." I said, the heat from his stare making my throat dry suddenly or maybe it was the thought that he had been watching me and I couldn't sense what he was thinking. He was so empty, his expressions so bored that it made me feel silly for running to the window like some sort of bright-eyed five-year-old. I felt even worse knowing that I had followed him home while talking about nonsense and realized then that if he didn't think I was stupid, he most definitely thought I was something and judging by his eyes and his face, it wasn't anything good.

He nodded after another stretch of staring and slowly turned back into the apartment, leaving me alone on the balcony. I heard him moving around in the kitchen, cups clinking together distantly, pots being shifted around in the pantry. I looked down at my feet, counting seconds.

He was making tea. Sasuke Uchiha was standing by a stove making tea. The image in my head felt funny and I couldn't help but stifle a giggle as a brief image of him in an apron flashed in my mind.

"What's so funny?"

I coughed, nearly choking from the sheer shock of hearing his voice and looked up to find him leaning against the doorframe his hands in his pockets.

"Huh?"

His mouth twitched and he walked toward me, crossing his arms and resting them on the balcony ledge. I glanced back at him, watching the village lights reflect off of his face. I understood why every girl that so much as glanced at him walked away giggling and whispering and why Sakura always made a point to walk beside him, an attempt at showing ownership. I understood why she was defensive of him in general, always there to glare when someone so much as tried to call out to him or even better, flirt. Overall, Sasuke wasn't bad to look at. He was handsome and had this effortless ease to him where anything he did, like running a hand through his hair or swiping at his nose would make him look, what was the word? Cool?

I was looking away when his eyes darted back to look at me and luckily, I was able to look straight ahead before he caught me staring. The only issue was as soon as my eyes settled on something in the distance, my stomach growled, loudly.

There was an awkward silence at first. I was mortified, my cheeks reaching a whole new level of redness that became even worse when I looked up and found Sasuke staring at me. That only made my face grow even hotter.

"Are you hun—"

I lifted a hand. "Don't say it."

"That bad, huh?"

"I can…make something." I said.

"With what?"

"I'll drink the tea and go and buy something."

"At this time of night?"

"There's shops open."

"Do you even know what time it is?"

"I'm sure there's a 24/hour place." I said.

"You don't know what time it is." Sasuke sighed and then headed back into his apartment.

"I can make us something." I offered, following him, my hand on my stomach.

"Make what?" Sasuke asked, leading me to a kitchen that appeared nearly untouched. Everything was shiny and new and when I looked around his apartment I found it was also new and untouched. His bed was perfectly made, the things on his desk aligned perfectly. Either he had heavy OCD or he didn't live here.

I turned back to the kitchen, feeling his eyes digging holes into my flesh. I headed for the fridge and opened it and found my pickings to be extraordinarily small. A milk container, an orange, and a small plastic box filled with cherry tomatoes that looked freshly picked. I shut the fridge.

I moved over to the cabinet and found a loaf of bred, a few cans of tuna and a box of cereal that I knew lacked any sort of sweet flavor. But there was a small sack of rice enough to make rice balls with.

I looked at him and found him by the stove, carefully removing a pot of boiling water from on top. He carried it over to where two cups were and began pouring the water carefully, expertly, not wasting a single drop of water.

"Do you eat? Like at all?"

His hand quivered and a single drop of water plopped out of the pot and landed on the counter. He shot me a look.

"I can make rice balls." I offered. "Since all you have to stuff them with is that tuna in there, I hope you like that at least."

"You cook?" It struck me, the light surprise in his voice and it took everything in me to stay focused on getting the rice balls ready.

"I cook all the time. The boys love my cooking." I said, trying to bring a smile onto my face.

"Still wouldn't lead with that." Sasuke said and it took me a moment to get it but when I did my face got hot again.

"I meant my teammates." I said as he slid a tea cup down the counter to me. I glanced down at it, at the tea leaves nestled at the bottom.

"Hmph…" Was his only answer.

I began making the rice balls, which considering what I had to work with were meager at best, I was able to season everything and about an hour later, I was done.

"All done." I smiled and brought them over to where Sasuke had seated to watch me work. He was taking a sip of his tea when I turned around with the finished product and he eyed them suspiciously at first.

"I'm not going to poison you." I said.

"Doesn't make me feel better." Sasuke said as I set the rice balls down in front of him.

I glared. "You don't have to eat anything. I'll eat them all by myself."

I reached for one and immediately bit into it, making a big show of chewing before swallowing. I motioned to myself a few seconds later. "See? Not dead."

"Still not helping." Sasuke sighed, putting his tea cup down.

I rolled my eyes and finished up my rice ball before reaching for another. My tea was lukewarm as I sipped it, but that was fine. It was how I liked it anyway, not too hot but not too cold. It was green tea and though it was bitter, it didn't taste too bad with the rice ball.

"So, what did you first think about your Sensei?" I asked, between chews.

Sasuke looked at the rice balls.

"That he was a joke." He answered.

"Why?"

"He just looked like a clown. I didn't want to believe he could be a Jonin."

"You still think of him that way?"

"After Zabuza…no." Sasuke said, his hand lifting. "I think he's strong, not great, just strong. Better than what I thought he was that's for sure."

I nodded as his hands closed in on a rice ball and I felt my nerves burst in my belly. I was waiting for him to taste it and give me his opinion and I found myself wanting him to like it, as if his opinion mattered to me.

"What about you?" Sasuke asked, holding a rice ball in the palm of his hand.

I thought back to when I had first met Megumi-sensei. I remembered after everything, after she had pulled me from the rubble of the hide out, we had gone back to the Village and she had been labelled a hero. She was known as the woman who had taken out one of Orochimaru's hide outs, one of the only shinobi alive who had not only exposed the building for what it really was, but had saved at least a hundred lives, freed people who had been missing and forced into Orochimaru's experiments. I had been unable to stop staring at her, my mind slow and sleepy. For days after, as I was in the hospital recovering from malnourishment, she visited me, stayed by my side through my screaming nightmares, through my anger. She offered me kind words and delivered cold hard facts. She would fix me with a hard look and would remind me of what I had done, but also made sure to remind me that none of it was my fault. She never wanted me to blame myself because no matter what anyone said, she didn't want me to think of myself as a monster.

"It was hard at first." I said. "Megumi-sensei moved through the ranks fairly quickly. She's the youngest Jonin in our village, but she's the fastest learner. She was a Genin for a month before she became Chunin and it was all uphill from there. She even had a stint with ANBU for a couple of weeks."

Sasuke didn't seem impressed but then again I didn't expect him too. I was on my third rice ball when I remembered standing in Megumi-sensei's apartment one day and eyeing the trunk by her sleeping mat. She had opened it and revealed all the treasures inside, old outfits from her training days, old dresses from her days lounging in Priestess Akane's vast, palace-like house. Elaborate dresses in all different colors and patterns had been traded in for a pair of cut-out Jonin pants and a fishnet, cut-out shirt. Sexy yet deadly was what Megumi-sensei went for and most men knew better than to touch her. For those that forgot, she always had little to no problem breaking an arm or two, or whatever body part she was closest too actually.

Sasuke bit into the rice ball then and it was so sudden, I had been thrown off guard, half-torn between the past and the fact that he was biting into, no chewing…no swallowing the rice ball!

He finished it quickly, not seeming to particularly savor it, just moving through it as if it were anything. Like the most boring of foods. Like he was eating mashed potatoes, or chips, or dirt. I waited a few moments later, searching his eyes for something but he just stared back into mine, his eyes unshifting, unmoving. Nothing. He had given me nothing.

"Seriously?" I spat, slamming my tea cup onto the counter, unable to bite down my sudden flare of rage.

He arched an eyebrow.

"Nothing? Did you like it? You eat it and you don't say anything to me? What's that about?"

"What do you want me to say?" Sasuke asked, agitation at his forehead.

I threw up my hands. "A simple 'It was good' or 'It was decent' would do."

Sasuke stared at me and then looked down at the plate of rice balls, his expression unimpressed. He looked back at me, studying my agitation and eased back in his stool, his arms folded over his chest.

"Well?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

There was a moment of silence, just the two of us staring the other down until finally, he took a breath and said:

"Well I didn't die."