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Chapter 8:

The world is dark.

It was the first thing I had realized when I opened my eyes except, the words sounded unfamiliar, unlike me until I realized they had been echoed in my head. They were words I had been told before, but whether it had been days or years ago I couldn't say. I just knew there was a voice in my head saying the words over and over again and I couldn't see what was in front of me. The darkness around me stretched on for miles, and the longer I was surrounded by it, the more the panic set in, the deeper and darker the voice in my head grew and the heavier my breaths became.

I wanted out. I wanted out of this darkness, this darkness that felt like some inescapable prison, like a small box that I was trapped in. I tried to run through the darkness, my panic rising. Hot tears lit my eyes, but the more I ran, the more closed off I felt, the more I felt like I wasn't moving at all. I was just struggling, fighting with myself,

Then I heard it, a new voice in my head, faded and coming from somewhere behind me. a small voice, a whiney voice and a voice that made me stop in my tracks, my blood run cold and my heart drop. It had been so long, so, so long and suddenly the voice was all I could think about. My heart clenched and I dropped to my knees, hot tears streaming down my face as the voice came closer, sounding like it was running due to the space between the words.

"Onesan! Onesan!" Her voice was like sweet candy in my head and just hearing her it conjured the memory of her, of her sticky fingers rising to my face, brushing over my tears and her tangled hair rubbing against my bare arms. Her small frame wiggling around, a light giggle in her voice, like she was playing, always playing, always smiling, and always happy.

"Miyuki!" She had shouted my name desperately from deep within the confines of our house that night and I remembered the sick, icy feeling that came with it, that came from hearing the fear in her voice, the worry. I had run with everything I had, run to find her.

"Miyuki!" She had said my name perfectly then, reminding me of all the times she had barely been able to. But, it was different now, her tone serious, the most serious than I had ever heard her. I remembered bursting into the room, feeling her body run into mine, feeling her tremble in my arms.

"Miyuki!"

But what I remembered more was the feeling of her blood covering my skin, a splash of quick warmth turned heavy. The feeling of it dripping down my face, the sight of it on my clothes, on my skin, on my hands. The feeling of my life falling to shambles around me, the smell of smoke from somewhere behind me, of my house burning to the ground. Then there was the rising hysteria mixing with the sickening feeling in my stomach, as I felt the emotion rise in my chest until it felt like it was going to explode.

I remembered the sharp intake of breath, the air cold and bitter and I remember the scream I let out, powerful and loud, slicing through the night air like a knife as my shock won over, as the sky above folded in on itself and the world around me went dark, as I convinced myself that it was dark.

"Miyuki!"

I awoke with a start, panting, covered in sweat, my body tense. I jumped up, nearly falling out of the bed, my heart slamming in my chest, a few tendrils of my hair plastered to my forehead. Her voice echoed in my head along with my scream, along with the feeling of the world around me closing in on itself.

"Miyu—" A hand came down on my arm and I pulled away sharply, rising to my feet and reaching for my weapons pouch until I realized where I was, what I had been doing, and that my pouch was sitting on the counter in the kitchen. I looked into Sasuke's eyes, a light sweat dotting his forehead, concern knitting his brow. It was the most emotion I had seen from him, more emotion than I thought he had in him.

I looked around, trying to slow my breathing until my knees buckled out from beneath me, my body shivering, an icy chill coming over me. Sasuke was there to catch me as I fell, as my eyes widened in my skull and I stared at a spot on his floor, overcome by the sheer force of my nightmare.

"You're ice cold." Sasuke said before reaching back for his blanket. He yanked it all off with one pull and quickly worked to wrap the blanket around me. I was still trembling and he picked me up in his arms, placing me on the bed and wrapped a second blanket around me. Brushing the hair away from my face, he fought to meet my eyes, but I felt frozen, my eyes glued to a spot on the floor, my face slack.

"Miyuki." He breathed my name, worry pulling at the edge of his words. But I was stuck, still stuck in the nightmare, still stuck in that dark stretch of a world with the voice spinning in my head, with the feeling of her in my arms and then suddenly…suddenly everything was gone.

"Breathe." Sasuke said sharply, his hands coming down on both sides of my face. It was a light slap overall and he applied pressure until I managed a cough and then remembered, feeling the tightness in my chest, feeling a rush of dizziness, to breathe. I inhaled and suddenly it was over. I was still trembling slightly, more of a twitch, but now I was just covered in sweat.

I met his eyes finally and he seemed a bit relieved, stepping back to take a good long look at me. I felt embarrassed again but for a different reason this time. It was my worst nightmare coming true, a blossoming connection and now I had shown one of my many problems, night terrors so bad, I only felt comfortable when they showed around Kyoske and Hideki or Megumi-sensei, people I didn't need to explain myself too.

"You alright?" he asked after a few moments, his voice slightly hesitant, as if he were afraid I'd have another episode.

I looked behind him and realized it was the early morning hours. I thought back to how I had ended up sleeping in his bed, next to him of all people and remembered after the rice balls we had drifted there, lying on our backs and talking about random things. Well, I had done most of the talking, nearly all of it actually, and somewhere in the middle of it all, I had drifted to sleep.

"I'm fine." I managed, my voice shaky and hoarse.

Sasuke stepped away for a moment and returned with a glass of water in hand. I moved my hands through the plethora of blankets and reached for the cup, bringing it to my lips and downing it instantly. I handed the empty cup back to him which he balanced on the nightstand beside me.

I moved more of my hair from my face, angry that I hadn't made the braid I had done as I spoke to him tighter. I avoided his eyes, unsure what emotion I would find burning behind them, but also fearful.

"Lie back down." Sasuke commanded and helped me ease back into a spot on the bed, my eyes trained now to the nightstand. He touched my hand and pulled it away quickly, as if I had shocked him somehow.

"You're still freezing." He noted and looked at me as if he expected me to confirm it. But I felt numb. He rose again and I heard the pots clattering in the kitchen again, the stove flicker on as he set a pot to boil.

"I'll be fine." I said to him, my voice still hoarse.

"No you're not." Sasuke snapped, his voice instantly regaining the sharp edge to it.

"This happens all the time." I said.

Silence and then footsteps as he rounded the corner of the bed to get a good look at me, his eyes dark.

"You were screaming bloody murder." He said. "That happens all the time?"

There was no judgment in his eyes, just anger but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. I could only just stare at him, feeling my defensiveness kicking in, but feeling to tired to let it out.

He narrowed his eyes, fixing me with his dark look for a few moments before he walked back to the kitchen, his hands in fists at his sides. He moved around angrily, pulling a cup from the dish-rack harshly, slamming it on the table before pouring the water. He placed a steaming cup of tea at my bedside and I stared at it before shifting my eyes over to him.

"Maybe I should leave." I said and started to sit up, started to climb out of the cocoon of blankets when he blocked my path.

"Sas—"

"Not until you tell me what that was all about."

"There's nothing to—"

"What happened? That was more than a nightmare. I couldn't wake you."

I shook my head. "It was noth—"

"Don't…don't…" He pressed his lips into a tight line and seemed to take a heavy breath before he looked away, so angry that he could barely look at me. "Don't say it was nothing. It was the exact opposite of being anywhere close to nothing."

I felt my rage flare up then, felt my emotions slowly but surely shifting back into place, warming over the numbness. I was mad at him for thinking he had the right to be mad at me. If anyone should be mad, the rights went to me.

"I don't want to talk about it!" I shouted, and I could see this shocking him slightly, but he was so damn good at composing himself, it was hard to tell.

He froze for a moment, as if remembering something and took a step back. I watched as he composed himself, as every trace of anger on his body faded away. He was back to staring at me with his uninterested, uncaring eyes again and I suddenly wasn't sure if I liked him better that way or upset.

"Fine." He said, his voice low, his eyes careful.

I calmed down myself, feeling the anger decrease, feeling the color in my cheeks melt away. I looked away, feeling foolish and Sasuke stepped past me, toward his bed where he crawled back in.

"I'm leaving." I said after a few moments.

"You don't have to." He said.

"I want to."

"It's dark out."

"I'm still leaving." I grabbed my weapons pouch off the counter and fastened it around the sash tied to my waist. I didn't look back at him as I headed for the door but as I bent down to pick up my shoes, I felt him standing right behind me and it was only when I was standing upright that his hand flew past my head, slamming on the door, making the frame, not to forget me too, shake.

I was about to swing around and ask him what his problem was when the heat from his mouth washed over the back of my neck, making Goosebumps rise on my skin.

"The whole reason you came here was because you didn't want to go home."

"Well…" I swallowed, still finding the nerve through my uneasiness at his proximity to be resilient. "I want to go home now."

"Then why did you come here?"

I was turning to look back at him when his voice stopped me.

"Was it to waste my time?"

What was he? Was he serious? I turned around then and found myself staring at his neck and I realized then, for about the first time that he was taller than me, by a few inches or for all I knew a whole foot. There was something about having to look up at him that made my cheeks flame up again, but slowly, I did.

"Is it so hard to believe not everything is about you?" I asked.

"If you feel that way why did you come here then?" Sasuke asked. "If it wasn't to waste my time, then why?"

I didn't have an answer. I could barely breathe he was too damn close to me. I wanted to push him away but just the thought of touching him made my insides quiver. I could only stare up at him as he stared down at me, his eyes expectant and waiting for an answer.

When I couldn't respond, he made a sound under his breath and broke away from me and turned, heading back for his bed. I pressed my back against his door and slid my hand back to grip the doorknob, struggling to find the courage to turn it. I could turn it and run out of here. I could prove to him that I didn't need him, I didn't need whatever game he was playing with me. But I didn't turn the knob and soon found myself heading back toward the bed, my body climbing back into my spot. I stared at the tea he had made me, still steaming on the nightstand and hugged myself.

The nightmare felt far away now, the screams and memory fading back into the depths with which it came. Silence stretched on between us for what felt like hours but in reality it had only been a handful of minutes. I knew he was awake only because his breathing hadn't slowed. I tried to imagine what he was thinking and realized when he was upset with me it had been the first time since we met where I had an idea of his true emotions other than his annoyance.

I drifted to sleep as I continued to wonder what he was thinking of me, if he was scared, annoyed, or if he wished that I had found the courage to leave.