A/N: Ugh, I just can't seem to stay on time lately. This time of year just seems more busy for me, so forgive my constant tardiness. Anyway, thanks to everyone who reads, follows, favs, or reviews this story. I always appreciate it! :) Here's chapter 27, hope you enjoy!
Chapter 27: Longing
"And that is basically how our little establishment is supposed to operate. Any questions?" Babette lifted her eyes from an old leather alchemy book she'd been casually studying as she informed Astrid of all the ancient customs and traditions of the Dark Brotherhood. The little vampire recalled so much and with such ease that it wasn't difficult for Astrid to tell that the girl had been familiar with the Dark Brotherhood for a very lengthy period of time.
Astrid ran the information through her mind - the Tenets, the Night Mother, and the infinitly mysterious Sithis, who seemed to act as a godhead for her dark brethren. Then, she remembered what Zirath had told her - this sanctuary wasn't like the others. The word unorthodox came to mind. Astrid hesitated a moment, before speaking. "I do have one question."
"Ask away, dear." Babette replied, flipping through a couple of tattered pages.
"Zirath said we aren't like the others. He said our sanctuary operates differently. How differently?" Astrid inquired, her curiousity growing more by the second.
Babette paused ever so subtly, before gently closing the ancient book. "Ah, I see. In some ways, we aren't so different, and in others..." she trailed off, seeming to gather her thoughts. "Technically, we still follow the Five Tenets, mostly because they allow our little family to operate smoothly, more than anything. We don't steal from one another, murder within our group, we don't disobey our superior, give away our secrets, and we don't disrespect the Night Mother simply because we have no reason to do such a thing. However, as I said, these are common sense really, and we simply go with it. Can't really be a unit if everyone is murdering each other now, can we?" Babette grinned slyly, before continuing. "Of course, there are some rather telling differences. Zirath is our leader. We have no traditional Dark Brotherhood hierarchy. It's quite refreshing, actually."
Astrid raised a brow. "Have you been in another sanctuary before?"
"Long, long ago I was..." Babette trailed off, her dark eyes seeming distant and lost in memories long past. "Near immortality is a tricky little thing, really. Life is stretched far beyond the mind's capacity to find it exciting. People, places, traditions...They all grow old and tiresome after a while. Let's just say that it was time for a change. Here, in this small sanctuary, I found that change. You see, our sanctuary is set apart from many of our brethren by the Jerrall Mountains. They are quite the nasty patch of land, really. I once heard tale that communications across the trecherous mountains had proved difficult, and our family simply decided to fend for themselves over time. Why wait for words that will never reach your ears, when you can choose to liberate yourselves and live by your own choices? That is exactly what our ancestors did, and it's been that way ever since."
"I see..." Astrid spoke, taking it all in. Deep respect began to pool inside of her for the ways of her new home. Why not take matters into one's own hands, instead of bowing to ancient traditions that were no longer helpful? She reasoned that she would've done the same as her predecessors in such a situation. "It does seem refreshing to live by one's own rules."
Babette nodded in agreement. "Indeed."
Suddenly, another question bloomed in Astrid's mind. "And what of this 'Sithis' that we are supposed to worship and obey?"
Babette seemed to ponder the question a moment, her tiny fingers rubbing her chin in contemplation. "I can only speak for myself, as I'm not sure about the personal views of my fellow siblings. No one I know has ever laid eyes on Sithis. They say the Night Mother became his bride, but still nobody knows his appearance - if he has a physical form, that is. There are only descriptions. Sithis is said to be blackest night, the deepest torment, the most necessary and perfect chaos. He is love, hatred, lust, sorrow, life, and death. He is everything, and yet, he is nothing."
Listening to the little vampire's description somehow caused a cold chill to race down Astrid's spine. The way the girl's voice lowered and became hushed, the way her body grew still, it was all as unsettling as the description itself. "I'm...not sure I understand just who Sithis is." Astrid admitted, still feeling baffled and left in the dark.
"Then you know as much as the rest of us, dear." Babette smirked. "Many years ago I chose to follow Sithis, as he is rather fascinating. As I said before, I grow weary when it comes to monotonous, repetitive things and concepts. Sithis, however, has remained an enigma to me for all of my days. That must count for something."
Astrid ran the information over in her mind. "You do have a point." she agreed.
Astrid lay awake in the night, her mind too full of whirling information and questions to peacefully drift into sleep. All her dreams would only twist into nightmares anyway, she reasoned, watching mangled shadows dance across the ceiling due to a single, small candle on an endtable.
The distant rumbling of the Black Door alerted her to the return of a certain member who'd been missing for a few days. Now she would certainly not get any rest, she realized. Her heart began to pound when thinking of his cold eyes and brutal nature. Arnbjorn was such an enigma, and his aloof demeanor only drove her curiosities further. Astrid simply couldn't shake the powerful feeling of connection with the Nord, no matter how strange and ridiculous the thought sounded in her head.
Endless strings of questions drifted throughout her mind. Why was he following her the night she finally left the guild and returned to the farmhouse? Why was he always watching, waiting? Curiosity quickly turned to impulse as she crept out of her bed, stepping lightly to follow the echoes of his footsteps.
Astrid silently stepped into the large, circular cavern in the center of the sanctuary. She watched as Arnbjorn seated himself at a grindstone after grabbing a large, fierce battle axe off of a nearby rack. She stood in the shadows, simply observing him, intrigued by his every move.
"You can come out now." he spoke flatly, without so much as even turning his head in her direction.
Astrid lightly gasped, caught off guard by his immaculate senses. "H-how did you know I was..."
"I heard you the moment you snuck out of bed." he smirked, glancing at her from the corner of his icy blue eye. "Kinda goes with the whole turning into an animal thing."
Without conscious thought, Astrid found herself smiling sheepishly as she stepped out into view. "So...Do you leave like that all the time?" she inquired, yearning to know more about him.
"I do now." he answered plainly, holding the steel against the grindstone, as Astrid watched tiny sparks ignite from the friction. "Mostly to feed on small game or whatever I come across." he shrugged casually, continuing his work.
"Hmmm..." Astrid hummed to herself, feeling unable to contain her many questions. "You don't hunt near Riften anymore, do you?"
Arnbjorn paused, lifting the battle axe from the grinstone and turning to her. He furrowed his brow, seeming either confused or annoyed. Which one, Astrid wasn't so sure of. "Why does it matter?" he asked, as Astrid sensed a bit of tension inside of him. Maybe if she prodded him enough, she'd find the source of said tension.
Astrid simply smiled contently, pulling up a nearby stool to seat herself. "You used to hunt near my uncle's farm quite frequently. I even heard a rumor about you once - that you were a beast that had taken off from the city of Whiterun. I was always so curious about you..." she admitted so freely that it actually felt alarming to her. Usually a deeply guarded individual, she felt completely unnerved by just how much she revealed about herself when she was in Arnbjorn's presence.
She swallowed, waiting for his reaction, as he set his weapon to the side and slid around on his seat to face her. "Who told you that?" he asked, visibly peeved.
"I overheard a woman telling it to my uncle. Is it true?" she continued her inquiry, unrelenting.
Arnbjorn sighed. "Yeah. Got any other questions?"
"Yes. What happened?" Astrid asked, folding her arms and waiting for an answer.
Arnbjorn hesitated before reluctantly answering her. "I was a member of those milk-drinking Companions once. Let's just say that those damned bunch of do-gooders weren't my style. I didn't just 'take off', either. I told them I was leaving and dared any of them to stop me. Needless to say, they didn't try." he huffed, clearly not happy with remembering the whole ordeal. "At least with the Dark Brotherhood I can kill assholes I don't like instead of live with them."
Hearing his last remark, Astrid's lips curved upward in a genuinely amused smile. "That's not too bad. It's better than the story I have to tell, anyway. Just a poor, useless girl that nobody cared for." she shrugged, nonchalantly. "At least you get to turn into a werewolf." she teased.
Much to her surprise, Arnbjorn's stern features seemed to soften as he grinned in return. "Yeah, well...At least you murdered that asshole uncle of yours. Real piece of work, that one."
"Oh?" Astrid raised a brow, her interest soaring due to his mention of the monster she used to live with. "Just how much do you know about that particular asshole?"
"Enough to know that son of a bitch treated you like a slave. Just what are you getting at?" Arnbjorn grew still as Astrid felt a tension so thick between them that she felt she could slice it with a blade.
This was it. She had to know or she was quite certain it would drive her mad. Astrid inhaled deeply, before speaking in a low, hushed tone. "Were you watching me?"
Arnbjorn's reaction unfortunately only made things murkier in Astrid's eyes. He narrowed his eyes at her, before turning back to the grindstone in a way that made him seem very uncomfortable with the question. She could tell that Arnbjorn was even more like her than she'd initially thought. He was a very guarded individual, and his walls were quite difficult to penetrate. Astrid wasn't sure what else to do other than sit and patiently wait for him to reply. As uncomfortable as things were, she wasn't one to back down, and certainly not when her emotions were so confusingly attached to another person.
Finally, much to her relief, he began to speak. Unfortunately, much to her dislike, his manner of speaking wasn't exactly pleasant. It was more akin to a tirade, to say the least.
"Why in the bloody Void would you ask that?! What do you want me to say? Yeah, I was stalking you cause I'm some sick bastard who likes watching you? What're you gonna do? Call me an asshole and be done with it? What do you wanna hear, Astrid?" he spouted off, standing up from his seat and breathing heavily with complete anger and frustration.
Astrid had every reason to reply in a similar manner for his less-than-polite outburst, and yet she did not. Her heart began to pound wildly, as she realized that there was a great deal of truth to his ranting. Apparently, he'd felt it as much as she had. It seemed that his actions and feelings were great enough to have disturbed him in some way. At least it appeared that way, given how enraged he'd become while admitting things. Everything from his body language to his tone of voice and change in demeanor said it. He was apparently afraid that she'd judge him for his behavior and label him a sick deviant. Ah, but little did he realize who he was actually speaking to, Astrid mused with much satisfaction.
"Actually..." Astrid stood, feeling such a flood of euphoria in her realization that she couldn't contain it any longer. "That was exactly what I wanted to hear."
