Author's Note: Hey guys! Jeez it's been really busy for me. Trust me, I'm not trying to be super late on everything, it's just with school starting up again and with all the business of regular life, it's been a little hard to find a few hours to type up my usual chapters. They don't seem long, but when I write them it really is.

Anyway, if you don't believe I'm really sorry, well, at least believe me when I say I cried the other day. I wrote an entire chapter (this one) for this story, but I didn't save it, and it got deleted. It probably won't come out the same, since I don't remember a lot of what I wrote, besides that it was pure gold.

Okay, now that apologies are done, note that this story has a lot of mature themes, such as rape. Like serious, there is explicit rape in here. It's gross how creative I can really be when I set my mind to it.

Main Pairing: Percico

And with those notes, and probably some more at the end, Chapter 3!

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Percy POV

Percy sat down on the warm beach, his shirt in his right fist, his heart heavy, and his lips still stinging from the kiss. He took a deep breath and pulled his legs against his chest, his muscles rippling at the movement. He felt beads of his own sweat move down his body in waves, but made no move to wipe it up or do anything about it. He looked over at Nico, and found the son of Hades sitting with his legs crossed in the sand.

Percy felt stones in his throat. He didn't want to tell Nico in the least bit. Telling him would do exactly the opposite of what he had done his entire career as a demigod. He wasn't too keen to throw that all away. It wasn't easy for him to hide it all, and yes it did pain him and give him terrible nightmares, but Percy's secrets needed to be secrets for a reason. If he told Nico what he was really thinking, would Nico brand him a freak? Would Percy be where he was as usual? The outcast?

Nico looked at him indifferent, not giving anything away behind those dark eyes. Who better to talk to then the guy who can make skeletons from thin air? Didn't Percy hear about Nico murdering a guy...? Surely he might be able to relate. Percy took a deep breathe, and despite everything screaming inside him not to, he decided to tell Nico. He turned to face the water, almost like he was talking to his dad and Nico at the same time, and found it was easier than looking directly at the other demigod.

"When I was seven," Percy started, his voice pretty low. He gripped his arms around his knees tighter. "My stepfather raped me for the first time. It was around Christmas and my mother was out buying me presents. I had just come home for break. When I asked Gabe where she was, he frisked me for money and raped me. He promised me that he'd murder my mother if I told, and I believed him."

Percy's hands clenched into fists around his knees. His cheeks were streaming with tears as he told his tale. He didn't understand where people described revealing secrets as relieving. It was only making it painful to Percy, recollecting the old memories. "She was as much my responsibility as I was to her. I couldn't let him kill her. I couldn't. For years, I suffered his abuse. I-I took the words and the demeaning phrases, thinking that he wouldn't do them to her if he was doing it to me. So I stayed silent. I kept my piece, and then I learned that he had lied. He was hitting my mother. He was calling her the same things. Worthless. Useless. Nothing."

He looked down at his palms face up, a slight furrow to his brows. He saw as some of his tears fell into the upturned hands, creating little puddles. "He was wrong about my mother, but he was right about me. I-I'm a coward. So many people have died so that I can sit here and-and pretend to be the hero while I stuff away the truth. I never told anyone. Not Annabeth, not my mom, no one. I didn't want to be a freak. Five years. Five years and I let him use me like trash while he was hurting her anyway. Sometimes I think I deserved what he did to me. Before the...master bolt, and coming to camp I swore to myself that I'd do something...I didn't know what, I just knew that I had to do something. Then I came home and saw Medusa's head and my mom did it for me. She never even knew why I wanted to do it so bad, she just knew that I hated him. I-I keep thinking that I'll end up like him. I hurt you and I hurt Annabeth and I didn't want to push myself on you. I didn't want to become him. But that's what I've done."

Percy finished his little speech with bated breath and a fire in his throat. It hurt him to think about it, after all this time. To say it aloud to someone, to tell the truth. Percy felt a stretch of silence follow his words for a bit before Nico said anything.

"You can't," Nico said simply. Percy felt his eyebrows come together at the statement.

"I can't what?" Percy asked. He turned to face Nico. With a jolt Percy saw that Nico was also crying, and he had an angry expression.

"You can't believe what he said. You can't believe that's true. I won't accept that. Percy look at how many lives you have saved. A good seven billion, if I count correct. You aren't anything like him at all. That fucker, was a pedophile and a douchebag. You didn't force me to do anything. You didn't hurt me, or Annabeth. Why didn't you just tell us? What did he do to you?" Nico finished on a whisper. He looked generally angry. At Percy...? No, more like Gabe. It made Percy a little giddy to think that Nico would be mad for him, but Percy's own mind clouded his thoughts.

Why didn't he tell anyone? But he had already answered that question, hadn't he? He didn't want to become a freak. It was easier to say that Gabe had been a drunk, that he was just some asshole who smelt bad instead of a rapist. Instead of Percy saying he had smelled that stank firsthand all over his body. It was easier and didn't result in a lot of questions. For a while, Percy almost made himself believe it. With all the gods running around and giving him orders, it's easy to get your head stuck somewhere else. But when Percy and the seven had saved the world, his nightmares slammed back seven-fold. All his worst memories of Gabe, all the abuse and the words, only intensified with the horror of Tartarus.

Percy thought of the worst thing Gabe had ever done to him, the worst of his abuse. With a shaky breath and a steely determination, he gazed back across the water. "There was this one night..."

Two days before Percy Jackson's 11th Birthday

It was midnight. Percy knew he should have been going to bed, since he did have plans with Sally, but he couldn't stop himself. Sally had excitedly been talking about Percy's presents (which Smelly Gabe assured her, was coming out of her budget) with him.

"Hmmm I think you could use some new friends. There's this little pet store a couple of minutes from the shop that's pretty cute. What do you say, Percy?"

The boy had been so excited about the request that his mind had made it impossible for him to sleep. Not that he wasn't happy being up. Sally was out pulling some late night shifts in order to buy him nice presents and Gabe was asleep. Percy sat on his windowsill looking out and taking a deep breathe. He was going to middle school soon, into a school with all new people. Not that they'd treat Percy any better, he was sure, but a boy could dream couldn't he?

With a reserved sigh, he climbed into bed and laid his head on his pillow. Percy hoped that Sally would get some type of aquarium. He really loved fish, and sometimes he even swore he heard tiny little voices talking to him when he was near. He shook off the thoughts in an attempt to fall asleep.

Percy jumped suddenly as, with a loud thud, Gabe came crashing into his room. His ugly face was lax and his breathing was heavy. Percy could smell the undeniable smell of hard liquor coming from both a bottle in Smelly Gabe's right hand and his mouth. Percy couldn't see Gabe through the darkness, but he knew the older man was leering at the boy.

"I am tired of your backtalk," Gabe's voice said, slurred. Through the hallway light Percy saw that he was swaying a little, but he walked up next to Percy's bed nonetheless. "I'm going to show you the proper way to use that mouth."

Percy had been cowering a little under his blankets to no use. With an angry pull, Gabe grabbed Percy's messy black hair and shoved it against the adult male's groin. His pants were still on, but the musk emulating from him was horrendous. Percy almost threw up on the spot. Using the hand that had the bottle in it, Percy heard the loud zip of Gabe's zipper and and the pull of his underwear as he freed himself. The next thing Percy knew, his mouth was filled with Gabe's dick.

Gabe thrust into Percy with fervor, never giving him a break. Percy's eyes were streaming and he was chocking and gagging against the forceful object. He tried to pull away, but Gabe shoved him harder against his cock. Percy couldn't breathe at this point, and needed to take drastic measures. He bit down on Gabe's dick, hard.

With a scream, Gabe pulled out of him. "What the fuck you piece of utter horse shit!"

With a loud smash, he broke the bottle in his hand against Percy's face. The boy had been whimpering and trying to catch his breath the best he could. With a moan of fear, Percy clutched his face as blood flowed freely from his cheek and shards of glass embedded themselves into his skin in both his hand and his face. He fell back in utter shock and terror, his face caked with tears as well as a good portion of blood.

Gabe decided this was an opportunity, apparently, and grabbed the boy roughly around the hips and shoved his pajama pants down along with his boxers. Percy gave a strangled yelp as Gabe flipped him onto all fours, his ass high in the air.

"You are going to stay quiet, you hear me? It's time I teach you a lesson." Gabe growled at him. With one swift motion he buried himself into Percy. Percy bit his lip hard to keep from crying out. He had to listen to Gabe, or he might do something to Sally. Percy couldn't let that happen under any circumstances.

It was just a little unusual for Gabe to be so rough. He was rough during his raping of Percy, sure, but he never usually left a mark. That would mean too many unwanted questions. Sometimes in areas where Percy could cover it up easy, but on his face? And usually Gabe did some loosening of Percy, not to help the kid, but purely because something as tight as he was wouldn't be comfortable for the older man without a little help. Tonight, however, Gabe had no such plans. He was hate fucking Percy, rough, hard, primal, and painful. With every thrust of Gabe, Percy winced in pain. He felt his asshole stretching and ripping to try and fit the cock that was much too big for him.

Finally, when Gabe gave an angry grunt and squeezed Percy's tiny hips with bruising force, Gabe came deep inside Percy. Gabe retracted himself from Percy, and the boy gave a whimper. He fell face first on the bed, his hair and forehead covered in a thin sheen of sweat and his cheeks puffy from his own silent tears.

"Clean yourself up," Gabe said with disgust, before leaving Percy alone for the rest of the night. Percy sobbed into his pillow, his ass hurting all the while. After a while Percy decided to take a shower. He didn't want that stuff in him forever. Gabe's stuff in him. With a sudden urge, Percy ran over to the toilet and threw up heavily into the porcelain. Percy didn't stay there long. His ass was still throbbing and twitching painfully. Percy got in the shower and wiped himself up, only to notice a good portion of blood on his fingers. He thought at first that it was just the bottle incident, but how had it ended up on his hands?

Percy wiped his ass one more time and looked down at his washcloth. It was covered in blood. Which meant this blood was coming from his butt. This wasn't unusual. When Gabe started raping Percy sometimes it happened, when his muscles wouldn't be ready for such assault at such a young age. This, however, was a lot of blood. Percy felt it dripping down his leg, mixing with the shower water running down him and Gabe's cum that dripped from his butthole.

By the end of Percy's shower, he was still bleeding and decided to take some action. He sat on the toilet and thought about what to do next. Could he leave it to heal itself? Would it ruin his pajamas? He didn't want Sally to have to clean that up. She might become suspicious and then all of a sudden Gabe would be killing her for knowing. Percy felt a sink in his gut. That couldn't happen. His eyes went around the bathroom as he heard the small drip of blood that fell into the toilet below him. He needed a plan. Or at least a bandage. His eyes drifted to the toilet paper beside him. Would that work? Percy really didn't know, but he didn't have many options. With slow easy movements, he unrolled some toilet paper, bunched it up, leaned forward a bit, and shoved it into his butt. He also put some on the gash near his eye. He prayed that it would work, because if it didn't he really didn't know what to do. He sat up from the toilet, pulled his pants up and went to bed. He fell asleep weak, dizzy, and crying that night.

He wouldn't know it then, but had he not taken any action both wounds would have been serious. If young Percy had went to the doctor, they would have gave him proper stitches, that's how bad it was. But instead he let them heal on their own, the lower wound leaving a rough patch running from the inside of his rectum out past his butthole. One mark among hundreds on his body, only this one was a scar he wasn't nearly as proud of.

Back to the present

"I think-I think that's the worst he ever did to me. I wasn't even eleven yet." Percy said quietly, his knees still to his chest and his arms around his torso. He continued to gaze forward to the water, unsure what to say next. He was brought out of his stupor when he found hands circling his wrists and pulling them away from his body. Percy looked up into the sad pitying eyes of Nico, who wrapped his own arms around Percy's shirtless stomach and held him in a comforting way. Percy didn't quite know how to react, but felt a little better. He had told Nico, and he didn't hate him or call him a freak. Nico looked caring and concerned for Percy.

"It's okay Percy," Nico said softly, resting his chin on the top of Percy's head. "You're safe. You're here. You're with me."

Percy felt a warmth in his body and soul. Safe, with Nico? That's all he's wanted for months now. To be with Nico and be relieved of this giant burden he carried. Now he had, and he felt so much better. What Percy had expected to come out as a soft sigh ended up as a strangled sob. He felt his already wet cheeks get soaked once more as Nico held him tighter.

"I was just a kid!" Percy got out between sobs. "I didn't even know what sex was."

"Sh, you're okay. It's okay." Nico soothed, kissing Percy's bare shoulder. But it wasn't, was it? Nothing of what Percy had said was okay. He sure wasn't okay.

"I prayed. I prayed to capital G God, or any gods that were listening. I prayed to deities I thought didn't exist and then-" Percy was cut off by his own sob as his hands found Nico's left arm and gripped them like they were a lifeline.

"And then you found out they did exist, and they hadn't helped you." Nico said suddenly, coming to the realization. His voice got slowly angrier with each word he said. Percy nodded his head. That's exactly what happened.

"I kept asking myself why, why would they put me through that? They knew I was destined to save Olympus more than once, how could they possibly let me go through that? Was I hated that much? Did- Did I do something wrong?" Percy's voice was filled with self doubt and sadness. He felt Nico pull him roughly onto his lap, holding the son of Poseidon close.

"No," Nico said fiercely. "You did nothing wrong, Perce. Not a damn thing."

"Then why? What was the purpose?" He begged Nico through more tears. Percy wondered why he was asking Nico these things- it wasn't like he would know the answer. This was the first the Italian had heard any of this.

"I-I don't know. I don't. But it was a bad decision. How could you defend them, Perce? How could you save them so many times after knowing they didn't come help you?" Nico said in awe. Percy thought for a minute at the question. Why? It was as simple as that. Why didn't he join Luke when he offered to slay the gods that had done this to him? Why hadn't he fought on the side of the giants and defeated them after they used him so many times? Why would he continue to defeat the monsters when the real ones were living in Olympus and ruling his life? They left him to suffer the abuse for five years, and then they used him as a pawn for five more. Why would he possibly support them with what he'd been through?

"It was never about the gods," Percy said sadly. He shook his head slowly, imagining all the faces of his loved ones. Grover. Annabeth. His mom. Nico. All the other seven. No, he had never done it for any of the gods, not even his own father.

"Then why?" Nico asked softly, leaning back to look into Percy's eyes.

"For the demigods. For humanity. For you," Percy said, looking into Nico's swirling dark eyes. "If everyone else had won and killed the gods, we would also be dead. None of them wanted for us to live. I had to save them for us. They have fucked me over, so much. They've ruined my childhood and my life. They've stolen my memories and had me kill people and things I've never wanted to kill, but being here right now, that's why I did it."

Percy moved his head to gesture to some kids playing at the volleyball court, and some kids running around the valley.

"So other demigods could live a life. So humanity could go on. When Luke offered me to go with Kronos, and kill the gods, I was tempted. I was tempted way more than I let Annabeth know. These were the beings that watched while I got raped over and over again. They never once raised a finger to help me, or my mother, why should I help them? But then I saw how tortured Luke was, and how scared he seemed to be of Kronos. I knew Kronos didn't want our kind to live, he only wanted destruction. I couldn't let that happen. I had to keep everyone I knew and everyone I loved, safe. I had to do it for them."

Nico made no sound, but grasped the side of Percy's jaw with one hand. Percy's eyes searched Nico's, looking for any hint of resentment or horror. What he say instead was love. Love, comfort, and- could it be? Awe? Awe and pride? But that couldn't be true. Percy was stupid for such notions, he shouldn't be looked at like that. But Nico was looking at him like that.

"You are so strong," Nico said. Percy saw Nico's open mouth slowly get wider and without warning Percy met their lips. He needed this. He needed Nico to comfort him like this. It was such a relief that Percy couldn't even properly describe it.

For a moment they just kissed on the beach, hugging each other close and quiet. When they broke off, Percy put his forehead on Nico's chest, breathing hard.

"No," Nico murmured. Percy felt Nico's hands retreat from around him and instead felt them cup his face. They moved his head upwards as Nico put butterfly kisses on Percy's eyelids, forehead, lips, cheeks, everywhere. "I'm here, now. You won't end up like him. You'll never be him."

Percy looked up at Nico in doubt. "But I-"

"NO," Nico said angrily. He kissed Percy on the mouth again, and Percy savored Nico's taste. He wanted to say that he had pushed Nico into this, that by kissing Nico he had forced him. That he was exactly like Gabe. But Nico wouldn't have it.

"You are nothing like that utter piece of shit." Nico said firmly. "And I am going to visit my father, because if that motherfucker ended up anywhere but in the Fields of Punishment I will personally escort him there."

Percy looked at Nico, who looked pretty fierce and hot, to say the least, and felt a swoop of butterflies in his chest.

"I honestly don't think that will be necessary, since he'll probably already be there, but I'm going to check anyway." Nico said with finality. He looked down at Percy and moved his hands around the other teen possessively. With a deep breath, Nico calmed down a bit once more and looked at Percy seriously. Percy didn't like that look. It was one that meant something bad was about to happen to him. Like he was about to get a suggestion to dip in the Styx. "Percy..."

"What?" He said quietly. Here it comes. He doesn't feel that way, or it wouldn't work.

"You need to tell the others. You need to talk to Annabeth about it." Percy looked at Nico surprised. Tell Annabeth, but why? So she could worry about him?

"It wouldn't do anything," Percy said, his eyebrows coming together. "It's been over for years. What can she do?"

Nico shook his head at Percy. "It isn't about you. It's about her. She needs to know. It will relieve her a lot. Sometimes you get these dark haunted looks, and no one knows why. It pains us. I understand now, but only because you told me. You have to tell her. Or at least start with your mom. She deserves to know."

"I-I can't. I can't tell my mom. No." Percy shook his heard quickly, fear bubbling in his chest. Fear and shame. He couldn't tell Sally. She'd blame herself for staying with Gabe. It would put a weight on her much bigger than Percy ever wanted for her.

"You need to. She has to know what you've been through." Nico said stubbornly.

"She'll- She'll blame herself. She'll feel bad. She was only ever with Gabe so he could- so his stench could protect me. I-I don't want her to know."

"You don't want her to know that the thing she thought was helping you ended up traumatizing you? Percy, did you ever think that she noticed when you would fear coming home? Do you think she noticed the way your eyes got dark? Because she does. She told me about it, when you lost your memories. I'm sure that look has only gotten darker after the war- just like how your nightmares have, don't deny it. You need to tell her. Explain it to her. It's worse not knowing."

Percy swallowed hard at the prospect. This was never how he thought telling Nico about his past would be. He thought he would shy away from him- run or try to avoid him maybe- never did Percy think that Nico would encourage him to talk about it, to open up. Percy took a deep breathe. He had other things he needed to be open about, things that didn't have anything to do with Gabe.

"Nico, I-" Percy started. He was quickly interrupted by Annabeth who was running towards the pair. At the sight of both of them her eyebrows went up. Percy felt his cheeks get red. He was still shirtless and Nico and him were holding each other pretty hard. He was also still on Nico's lap. Nico and Percy's cheeks were both covered in crusty tears and sweat form sitting on the beach for so long. Percy looked at Nico and saw the other demigod's olive cheeks get slightly pinkish too. Nico slowly let go of Percy, but made it evident that he was hesitant to do so.

Annabeth put on a shit-eating grin at looking at the both of them but came closer anyways. "Hey,"

"Hey," Percy said, running his hands through his hair and stood up, brushing sand off his pants. He didn't want to finish his sentence, saving the issue for a later date. "What's up?"

"Well, other than your cuddle party, we got a surprise visit from Thalia," Annabeth said. Percy wanted to say that, no, it hadn't been a cuddle party, that it had been a comfort party, but decided against it. He would tell Annabeth some other time, but not now. Definatly not now.

"That's awesome, why though?" Percy said, grabbing his shirt and offering Nico a hand. The other teen took it and stood up.

"Something about Lycaon and his pack terrorizing some campers while they were hunting. We got a few new ones. Just thought you'd wanna know." Annabeth said casually and happy. She seemed genuine and looked like she was happy that Nico and Percy were getting along so well. Percy at least hoped that she was, since he really didn't want to hurt her feelings. That's the last thing he wanted to do. He felt his cheeks go up in a smile.

"She has to stay for capture the flag," was all Percy said, before he started running toward the Big House with the other two demigods running behind him.

Author's Note: Dear gods I am so sorry that I haven't been updating. At this point there is no excuse. I guess the only way to make it up i to update both this story and my other one, huh? Also post a new one? That sound okay?

Love you guys! Don't forget to fav and review! I hope you guys love it and I'll see you in the next chapter where we have Thalia fun and smut between Percy and Nico.

Love ~Cryellow