Chapter 12:
The sun began peeking out from the treetops, spilling over the streets of Konoha, forming shadows with the tall buildings. As the sunlight reached the apartment, it illuminated everything in its path and the moment it touched my feet, I felt a warmth rush up my legs, through my stomach, up my arms, ending just at the top of my head.
We were staring at each other, our bodies on their sides, our heads on our arms. He was serious as his eyes searched mine and I realized that I had no idea how long we had been that way. I just knew that after my story ended, after I revealed my painful, heart-wrenching past, I had turned to face him again and he had been in that position. I had mirrored it and the silence had drifted between us but it was a comfortable one. But, I also knew that that it wouldn't last long. At one point or another, something had to be said whether it be a form of acknowledgment or a shifting of positions and I had a feeling that it was going to be me. I could feel my arm falling asleep and I was uncomfortable. But, I also didn't want to be the first to move.
He shifted then, turning onto his back before getting up from the bed altogether. I watched him and sat up, stretching out my arm as I watched him move into the kitchen. He braced himself on the countertop, his eyes trained at a spot near the center. I stared at him, studying the tension in his jaw, the sharpness in his eyes. I had never wanted to be able to read someone's mind the way I wanted to read his and I found that feeling becoming stronger inside of me, the desire building and building until his eyes cut over to me sharply and everything inside of me froze.
That look, that dark look of his was still the same, just as icy as all the other looks before it and felt just as hard as a slap to the face. It confused me. After everything, that was the look he was choosing to lead with?
"Wh-what?" I asked, finding my voice.
He took a breath before answering, his eyes seeming to search the counter for something, and I assumed it was a place to start.
"They're all gone." He said, but something told me it was meant to be more of a question.
"Ye-yeah." I looked down at my lap, rubbing my hands back and forth as a distant ache shot across my chest. I reached up, smoothing my fingers over the scar left from the blade. It was a distant scar, barely visible, but that was the thing with scars. Even when the world couldn't see it, the person with them always could.
"And you know about the Uchiha—"
"I know all about your clan." I cut him off and glanced at him. "I read about it in school."
A snarky smile crossed his lips before he looked away from me, his hair blocking his face. "Of course."
"It wasn't much." I said, sliding off the bed and starting toward him. "There's more information in our books about Hashirama, the first Kage, than anything else but it's more about the legacy of the cl—"
"I get it." He said, his voice clipped as he turned his head back to me. He was glaring, mouth stern, his lips turning down a little at the corners.
I flinched and nodded slowly as I reached the counter and placed a hand on it's cool surface. I had thought telling him my story would ease his anger, would show him that if no one else understood him, I at least had the possibility of understanding. But it had backfired, throwing back in my face and for the life of me I couldn't understand why. What was with him? What was he not seeing?
"I'm going to avenge them." Sasuke said, his gaze turning back to the counter. "I've already decided."
I didn't say anything. I had seen it in his eyes, the distant flare for revenge, but also the acceptance that it would be quite some time until he was able to go up against the man that had wiped his entire clan off the map and left him behind. I had thought of revenge too until I asked myself what would I get once it was done. The satisfaction would be fleeting, but in the end it wouldn't bring Sayuri back or my mother or my other siblings. Nothing would happen, life would simply go on and I'd feel just as lonely as I had before, if not more because my sole purpose in life would be gone.
"You have the right to do whatever you need to." I managed softly before sliding my hands closer to his. "But, make sure it's what you really want."
He glanced at me and I grabbed his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. His gaze turned down to our hands and he held it there for a few moments before he slid his hand away and gave me his back.
I felt my lips turn down at the sides but got the message that for now, I had exceeded my welcome. I inhaled and turned, steering myself toward the front door. Slipping on my shoes, I shot him one final look, half expecting him to stop me again as I reached for the door. But my hand wrapped around the knob and I turned it, the door popping open. I pulled it open but still he didn't stop me. I told myself he wasn't stopping me because he was still caught up in the memories of his clan being ripped away from me, my own story turning over in his head. I told myself that he was just overwhelmed by it all, that he wasn't aware. But, either way I walked out of his apartment and shut the door behind me and I waited for a few breaths. I actually waited for him to open the door again, to let me in, to tell me that we were the same. To tell me that we understood each other's pain.
But, he didn't. He didn't come for me, or call out to me from his balcony. In fact, Sasuke Uchiha managed to blow my mind completely by letting me walk away.
…
"Back off Ino-pig!"
"Watch it Billboard Brow!"
I had been in the middle of a crowded street when I heard Sakura's voice, loud and agitated and turned just in time to see her glaring at a blonde girl.
"Sakura?" I called, earning her attention.
"Mi-Miyuki." Sakura greeted weakly. The blonde turned and arched an eyebrow as I approached them.
I looked her over, a decently pretty girl with long, blonde hair that ended just at her waist. She had blue eyes and a fair face and I could tell just by looking at her that she was more self-involved than Sakura. In terms of grooming, she looked too pretty to be a kunoichi. Sakura was always brushing her hair and gushing over Sasuke. In the short time I had known her, she only trained when the team was called together.
"Something wrong?" I asked, looking between them.
Sakura turned away from me to glare at the blonde girl who glared right back at her, her jaw clenched.
"I was trying to buy ingredients for this new juice cleanse I wanted to try when Ino-pig called me fat."
The blonde girl scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Oh please! My exact words were: 'There's no use trying to lose wait when you're already as big as a house. Sasuke only likes thing girls, which he already has looking at me'!"
To this Sakura's cheeks flamed up and her glare deepened and her hands clenched into tight fists at her sides.
"There's nothing about you that's skinny not with those chubby cheeks of yours?!" Sakura growled.
"Yeah, well lose some weight in that forehead of yours and then go looking for Sasuke!" The blonde snapped right back and before I knew it, the two were going at it like cats and dogs, clearly forgetting they were causing a scene and that I was standing right in front of them.
"You're doing all this for Sasuke?" I asked. "How do you know what kinds of girls he likes?"
The blonde looked at me. "It's obvious Sasuke needs someone as cool and perfect as him. That means he needs the perfect body type, an equally proportioned body type at best. Not some girl whose forehead is so big it looks like she's about to tip-over."
"Grr Ino!" Sakura growled. "He needs someone who also doesn't have thighs as big as a house either!"
"Hey Sakura!" Naruto's voice called. I turned just in time to see him jog up to us, a blush on his cheeks as he waved at her. But, she was more focused on Ino than him.
"Umm…Sakura?" Naruto asked.
Ino and Sakura both turned to scowl at him. "Shut up Naruto! We're busy!" They both shouted before going back to glare at each other.
"Umm…I was just gonna ask if you wanted to come to Ichiraku's with me." Naruto said, his smile wide, his hand reaching back to scratch his head.
"No!" Sakura snapped and it sounded almost like a reflex. Naruto stiffened before groaning as Sakura pushed the blonde girl back and she did the same to her and vice versa.
"Ugh! You're so annoying Billboard Brow!" The blonde growled.
"Like you're any better you Pig!" Sakura snapped.
Suddenly they were back at it, firing off insult after insult and slowly, Naruto turned to face me.
"Are they always like this?" I asked.
Naruto shrugged. "Pretty much. It's always about Sasuke too." He pouted, folding his arms over his chest. "He's not that great. He's definitely not better than me. Believe it!"
I giggled and nodded. "I'm sure he isn't."
Naruto nodded as if that was all the confirmation he needed and sighed, rubbing his stomach. "Alright, well I better get to Ichiraku's."
"What is that?" I asked as he started to walk past me.
His eyes widened. "Only the best ramen shop in town!"
I nodded, feeling a distant rumble ripple through my belly. I was hungry and remembered I hadn't even had any dinner last night. I could feel it then, a sudden wave of dizziness. I needed something in my stomach and ramen was as good a meal as any.
"Can…can I come?" I asked, feeling unsure suddenly around Naruto of all people.
He brightened. "Of course!"
Moments later we were breaking apart our chopsticks, and as I lifted some noodles and blew on them to cool off, Naruto dug in.
"Eat up." The shop owner smiled. "It's the least I can do for my star customer."
I smiled as Naruto practically swallowed his bowl of ramen and I had hardly touched mine.
"Another round, old man." Naruto grinned, some ramen residue on his upper lip.
"Coming right up!" The shop owner grinned.
I giggled. "You really like this don't you?"
"It's the greatest!" Naruto trilled. "Don't you think so?"
I nodded as I took my first bite. It was good and I had gotten the barbeque flavor.
"So Naruto, I've been meaning to ask you some questions." I said.
"Go for it." Naruto said.
"I feel like we've never really spoken, away from the others at least." I said as the shop owner set a fresh bowl before him and his eyes quite literally sparkled.
"But, I notice how you act around Sakura and I was wonder—"
"HA! I HAVE YOU NOW BOSS!" Naruto and I froze before slowly turning only to see a little boy with spiky brown hair and a unique helmet running toward us. His scarf looked like a long blue train and it floated behind him like a cape almost. I was mystified, unsure where the kid even came from but I recognized him as he jumped in the air, a fist raised to strike. He was the little boy from our first day in the village, the one Kankuro had been bullying until Naruto stepped in to defend him. Kono-something or another.
He was flying through the air but had miscalculated his jump. He had jumped too early and didn't realize it until it was too late, until he was going on and then it registered that he was nowhere near Naruto. He landed face first on the ground and when he tried to get up, he tripped on his scarf, and got his legs tangled in it.
"I keep telling you kid you have to stop wearing that scarf." Naruto said, his voice low, his eyes skeptive. "You're gonna get yourself killed."
The boy groaned as he pushed himself up to a sitting position, sweat dotting his forehead as he nodded slowly at Naruto. He was missing a tooth and he couldn't have been older than seven.
"That was good, boss. A trick well played. Just what I'd expect from a skilled ninja like yourself."
Naruto's lips turned down and the look on his face changed to one of pure confusion. "Konohomaru…I didn't do anything."
"So modest!" Konohomaru, or Kono, as I remembered hearing Naruto call him that day.
Kono's eyes landed on me and he flushed, inching carefully toward Naruto.
"Boss! Who's she?" Kono asked.
"Huh?" Naruto looked up at me and smiled before looking back down at Kono. "This is Miyuki."
"Ohhh…" Kono said before he blushed a sharp scarlet color and leaned up toward Naruto. "Boss…is she like your friend or like your friend?"
It was mean to be a whisper but I heard it without even trying. I stifled a giggle as Naruto blinked, clearly wondering what Kono meant until it all clicked and he turned just as red as Kono had.
"Huh? Oh no! She's...Miyuki's not…no…we're not…uhh I mean she's really…no…we're not…" Naruto stuttered which made me laugh even more.
Kono nodded and hopped back between us, shooting me a look before holding up his pinky. "Good because boss is taken anyway."
I propped an elbow on the table and and held the side of my head as I looked down at Kono and then shot a curious look at Naruto. "Taken? As in he has a girlfriend?"
Naruto flushed again and Kono chuckled.
"Yeah he's dating that pink-haired chick! I think she's flat-chested and has a big fore—" Naruto slapped a hand over his mouth before he could finish but I was already laughing.
"He's not…it's not what…Sakura and I—"
I patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Congrats, Naruto. I had no idea." I realized then that it was possible that I had misread Sakura. Maybe she wasn't boy crazy. Maybe all that primping was for Naruto and maybe all her talk and concern with Sasuke was because she cared about him.
Kono's voice was muffled over Naruto's hand but he was still speaking as Naruto tried to clear up whatever was said.
"No…Miyuki I…we're not…it's not like that." Naruto sighed and released Kono. He leaned toward me, his hand shooting up to hide his mouth from Kono.
"Sakura and I…we're not anything." He said.
I nodded, the hope I had built around Sakura crashing to the ground. "Oh…well then why does—"
"She just hasn't realized how awesome I am yet." Naruto said, crossing his arms. "She will once I beat that annoying Sasuke!"
"And you will boss!" Kono cheered.
Naruto slammed a fist on the counter, making our bowls rattle, some of our ramen juice slipping down the sides of our bowls. "And I will and then I'll become Hokage!"
I nodded. "Hokage, huh? Of the Leaf?"
Naruto nodded. "Yup! I'll become Hokage and then the whole village will stop disrespecting me and start treating me like I'm somebody important!"
I nodded as if I understood but knew the life of a Jinchūriki was complicated. I had caught glimpses of it when I had visited the Sand a few years back, when I had caught my first glance of Gaara in his finest. A secluded loner who sat perched high above the city with a heavy storm behind his eyes as people shot him cautious looks. I also knew it was different for everyone and had read in school that though Jinchūriki were normally feared, a few were known as heroes. In the end, it was both a curse and a blessing. I could only imagine what Naruto had gone through growing up and shuddered at the mere thought. The loneliness. The sadness. The hatred. I was surprised he was so optimistic, so light-hearted. I was surprised suddenly how far from Gaara Naruto was. If anything Sasuke acted more like Gaara than Naruto did.
"Good for you." I smiled. "I know you'll do it too."
He blushed before straightening.
"You're stronger than you think, Naruto." I said lifting another string of ramen into my mouth. "Never forget that."
He blinked at me as my words sank in and slowly, ever so slowly, he looked down at his hands. Kono nodded between us before back out at the streets.
"Boss, I just had to test to see if your guard was up." He said with a devilish grin. "But now that I see that it was I'll come back and play with you later." He ran off, disappearing into the crowd and Naruto chuckled under his breath before turning to me.
"Hey what were you going to ask me before?" He asked.
I nodded and looked down at my ramen bowl. "I was going to ask you about you and Sakura but you answered that but I was also wondering about you and Sasuke."
Naruto pouted. "He's annoying is what he is."
"Do you hate him?" I asked.
"He's my rival." Naruto said as he turned and stared down at his ramen bowl. "He's always been so popular, Mr. Big, Mr. Everything. Everyone always praises him like he's so epic but…but he's not so great and he's most certainly not better than me."
I nodded. "Rivals, huh?"
"I'm going to beat him." Naruto said. "On our last mission, on our Zabuza mission I froze up but now with these Chunin Exams I'm gonna prove to everyone that I'm better than him."
"You've been rivals your whole lives?"
Naruto seemed to think about this before shrugging it off completely. "He's always been pretentious, even when we were younger. Always walking around like he was better than everyone else."
I nodded as Naruto's expression turned sour.
"And Sakura likes that jerk, praises him just like Ino."
"Ino?"
"The girl she was fighting with." Naruto said before shaking his head. "She doesn't see anyone else but him and she thinks she gets him…she thinks…"
He shook it off and sighed before turning his head to shoot me a glance. I smiled down at him and a shaky smile spread across his lips.
I could see the pretentious part that teetered on arrogance. I could also see the praise, all the girl's praising an empty god, a boy that didn't seem to care about anyone or anything. I could imagine a young Naruto calling him out in the middle of recess, calling him his greatest rival. I could imagine their fights, Naruto eating dirt each time, but learning, becoming just a twinkle bit stronger but still eating dirt each time. I knew at some point it was going to become frustrated but that wouldn't be until he realized it.
"Why do you ask?" Naruto asked as he started eating his ramen. I smiled softly before dipping my chopsticks into my bowl.
"I just wanted to know. I feel like I know so much about you and Sakura but Sasuke is just a complete mystery to me. I feel like he doesn't like me or something."
"He doesn't like anyone." Naruto mumbled and I laughed while feeling the burning ache at the pit of my stomach about how spot on he was.
"I guess." I said and then chewed my bottom lip as Naruto downed yet another bowl of ramen.
"But that can't be just it." I said. "No one can go through life like that. There has to be someone or something in his life."
"His reflection." Naruto snorted, sounding like Kyoske.
I almost laughed but pushed it behind me as I slammed my chopsticks on the table and slid off my stool.
"Huh? Something wrong?" Naruto asked.
I smiled at him. "I just remembered something. I'm so sorry! But, I have something to do. Catch you later?"
Naruto blinked and was about to say something else when I took off, running as fast as my legs could carry me back to Sasuke's apartment. All the words I wanted to say to him pooled on my tongue and I was ready with each step I took. I made it back to his apartment just a few minutes later, arriving at his doorstep a big, sweating and panting mess. I lifted a fist and hit it against the door, big, pounding knocks and finally after the fifth one, the door swung open and there he was with a hard glare in his eyes as he took me in.
I sucked in a breath, my speech ready to be released until I realized it was too long. There was a simpler way of putting all I had to say. I balled my hands into tight fists by my sides and I shot him a hard look, one that I wished would come close to his hard glare but knew never would.
"You think you're all alone, don't you?" I asked.
He said nothing, just continued to glare.
"You think you're all alone and that no one could care about you, that no one is there for you but you're wrong." I said, stomping a foot on the ground for effect. "You're not alone. People do care. You want revenge? You can have that, that's your natural right to want that. But don't ignore what's in front of you either."
His eyes narrowed, the glare deepening.
"You treat everyone like they're beneath you." I said. "And maybe that's your way and all but…I know what you've gone through and I'm willing to bet there are others out there who feel the same way, who are probably even worse off. But they're not bitter and they're not cruel. They let people in and I can tell you right now that's going to be your downfall."
He stiffened at the last part and I knew I had him right where I wanted him even though his face wouldn't show it.
"I'm not asking you to change your mind." I said, my head shaking. "I'm just letting you know that you're not as alone as you think you are."
I didn't wait for him to respond and I most certainly didn't expect him to. I didn't even shoot another glance at his expression, I just turned and walked away.
