Chapter 35: Awe
Astrid stood at the front of the old shack, shivering in the bitter cold of night and reeking with the scent of blood and flesh. Fortunately, after what seemed like a lifetime of obeying Zirath's horrific commands, Astrid found herself quite relieved when her leader decided to let the farm boy and his comrades finish the chief and his main lackeys off, while the two of them raided the den for loot.
Zirath suddenly appeared out of the entrance, dropping a few more leather sacks at her feet. "I believe this is more than enough payment, sister...Come back with me for a moment. I think our young man is finished with his business."
Astrid reluctantly followed Zirath, partially relieved that this nightmare would soon be over. When she met eyes with Brandt, she realized it wasn't. Not yet, anyway.
The once innocent, soft-spoken farm boy and his comrades stood, their attire now stained by the blood of bandits, whose bodies were horrifically twisted and dismembered across the dungeon floor.
Zirath slinked up to the boy, affectionately laying a hand on his shoulder. "How does it feel?"
The boy dropped a bloodied mace that he'd used to inflict the damage, his hand trembling and his eyes full of tears. "Better..." he began to sob in what seemed to be in a mixture of relief, joy, and fulfilled vengeance.
Though Astrid felt extremely rattled by the horrific experience, a part of her began to feel strangely liberated. Her leader, however brutal his manner may have been, had helped these defenseless boys claim back their power. In her eyes, Zirath had not only embodied all that she stood for, he enforced it - he lived and breathed it.
"Did you finish them all?" Zirath questioned the boy.
"Nah, sir. There are so many...I-I don't think we can. I don't think I can do this anymore. I just wanna be free now...Live my life..." he spoke, his shaky voice falling hushed.
"Very well. Gather your partners and guard our loot outside. My companion and I will be out in a few moments..." Zirath instructed, his voice falling low and devious as his gaze met with Astrid's.
She silently waited for his command as the young men cleared the dungeon, leaving the two of them alone in the company of blood and the silence of death. "Astrid..." his silky voice lingered, while his burning eyes never once moved from her own. "You have done beautifully, sister. Once more you have excelled. I've watched your stomach grow weak and your mind become weary, and yet you still obey my commands - the Dark Brotherhood's commands, no matter how heinous or brutal. You realize your place in the world. I've seen the devotion inside of you. Do you remember what I've told you? Do you now realize that you are the flame as much as I?" he spoke, as he stepped up on the table, his form elegant and dangerous among a feast of corrupted food, poisonous drink, and bodies with terrified expressions permanently twisted on their features.
He eyed the table, picking up a large jug of ale. "Take this. Cover the floor with it, sister." he commanded, and she obeyed without question this time. His presence, his mind, and his soul had her completely held in his grasp. He knew her completely. She wasn't sure exactly how he was able to see inside of her so deeply, but he did, and it only compelled her to do as he pleased that much more.
Now standing on the wet floor, painted with blood and ale, she calmly gazed into his eyes. "What else would you like for me to do?"
Zirath smiled warmly. "You have done more than enough, sister. Please, go outside and wait with the others. Wait and behold. See the gift that I give to you, sister..."
Astrid waited outside, breathing in the icy night air and listening to the silence of the group of young men, who would more than likely never be the same again.
She felt a small tug at her sleeve, as she turned to see Brandt's eyes, which seemed to be full of gratitude. "I really appreciate what you two have done for us. I've done what my father would've wanted. Thank you..." he bowed his head, before he and his comrades disappeared into the shadows of the night.
Astrid sighed, as a heavy snow began to tall from the skies, twinkling and dancing in the night air. She watched as the boys' footprints began to disappear under the blanket of snow forming, soon to be a memory, just like the night itself would be.
Suddenly, the smell of burning wood and a sweet smell she couldn't quite figure out filled the icy air and stirred her senses. Her eyes widened as the dilapidated old cabin became engulfed in hot, burning flames. The light warmed the air and illuminated the white, glistening snow as it poured on the ground.
Her heart began to pound so hard she could hear it in her ears. Her skin began to tingle, and adrenaline rushed through her veins. It was Zirath. She stepped closer, watching the fire of Nirn flicker and twist, mixing with black smoke and silver snowflakes, dancing and writhing to the heavens. She watched in awe as his tall, powerful form slowly stepped out from the burning doorway, unscathed by the molten flames. This was his gift. To her. This was his life's work - his teaching. He had moved all the pieces into place and created a glorious masterpiece to behold, without so much as lifting a finger.
He stepped up to her, his eyes never moving from her own. "Now you see what I see...The power - the flame is yours, dear sister. How do you feel?"
"Better..." she grinned deviously, realizing just how beautiful the art of assassination could truly be. It wasn't just a damaging, infinite nightmare that Reiner had created for her. It was a grand work of art that she could bend and shape as she pleased. It was a masterpiece.
Astrid threw her belongings on the cold floor of the sanctuary, before falling into her bed in an act of sheer exhaustion. The long ride home had been a rough and tiresome one. Zirath had once more fallen into the silence that she had noticed from before, and she simply questioned him no more, for she reasoned that he had many matters on his mind and therefore she simply let it be. As he'd stated before, he was always preparing and thinking, and she respected the meticulousness of his abilities not only to lead, but to leave a mark on those surrounding him. She sighed, hoping that someday she could be so great.
She even began to reason that, perhaps Arnbjorn had misunderstood their leader's peculiar personality. Perhaps that was why Dar'Sien was sure not to act too quickly on his own suspicions. Becoming far too tired to allow her mind to wander any further, Astrid yawned, stretching her aching limbs.
"Glad to see you've made it back in one piece." Arnbjorn's voice alerted her to open her eyes. She grinned, seeing him step into view. "Did our great and powerful leader actually teach you anything, or did he just take you along to keep you away from my terrible influence?" he asked in a playful manner, though Astrid could sense that he was actually quite peeved that he wasn't allowed to train her.
"I...actually did learn some things..." Astrid replied sheepishly, feeling a bit guilty that she'd had such a wonderful experience with Zirath. However, she had to admit, Arnbjorn's obvious jealousy was quite a lovely thing to behold. It was a wonderful feeling to witness the fact that he cared for her in some way. She found herself hoping to find out just what exactly he felt for her someday. Questions still drifted through her mind during quiet mornings or before she'd drift off to sleep at night. She'd find herself wondering just how long he'd been watching her at Reiner's farmhouse, and just how much he knew about her that he wasn't telling her.
"Well that's good to know." he remarked with much sarcasm, seating himself at the foot of her bed. "What did that prancing jackass teach you that I couldn't?" he asked, causing Astrid to fall silent. The truth was, Zirath had taught her to view everything in a new light. Of course, she wasn't about to say too much for fear of giving Arnbjorn the wrong idea. She didn't want him to think she wasn't interested in him, for that was undeniable. If anything, the more possessive he became, the more she wanted to see more of him. Unfortunately, Zirath seemed to think he was a bad influence, and that posed a bit of a problem.
"Depends on how much you know..." Astrid teased, smirking.
"You think you're slick, don't you?" Arnbjorn chuckled, as Astrid noticed a flicker of something in his eyes that she felt a bit more drawn to. It was as if his gaze lingered just a fraction too long, just enough to send a signal of something mutual between them. It was something that she found very soothing and safe, and exciting and exhilerating at the same time. Deep down, she realized just how much she'd longed to spend more time with him.
"You know, if you behaved a bit better, maybe Zirath would let you teach me a few things." she persuaded, acting on her urge to be in Arnbjorn's presence.
"You mean kiss his ass?" Arnbjorn smirked, as Astrid noticed him briefly glancing at her lips.
"Maybe not that far." Astrid replied. "How about not having something unflattering to say everytime he speaks? That might work."
"Eh, I'll think about it." he shrugged, attempting to dismiss her words, though she could tell by his body language that he seemed interested in her idea. As he stood from his spot on her bed, he turned to her a final time. "Keep those weapons I gave you. You still need 'em. Don't want you getting gutted on your next contract."
Astrid simply nodded, her elated emotions spilling onto her lips in the form of a genuine smile.
