Chapter six: Druid intervention
Ten summers later…
Life in Camelot flourished since the period later known as the Golden Era had arrived, but as the days passed him by Merlin felt more and more lost. When he looked in a mirror he could see no changes to the young man he was when he became Court Sorcerer. Not a wrinkle marked his face and not a grey hair could be seen amongst the black mess of short hair. While everyone around him aged the signs of time didn't mark him. It made his friends look at him with questions in their eyes. Merlin wished he had the answers, but how could he explain what he had yet to figure out for himself?
Forever was an impossible long time, but the crystals had shown him that he would still live to see a far off time when the world around him changed beyond recognition. The visions he'd seen scared him and at the same time they also made him smile. One day he would be a father of a dark haired boy with the deepest blue eyes he'd ever seen. It was a happy thought, for he found he loved children.
Each time young princess Sarah, her two younger brothers and their friends knocked on his door they persuaded Merlin to tell them his tales of the Great Dragon, or maybe he could share an adventure of the brave knights of Camelot. Some days he spoke about the Once and Future King too, who would one day return when everything seemed lost. Druid prophecies and tales of brave quests were part of their history and there was no better teacher than Merlin. It also became his way to remember Gwaine and Arthur, and the only way he knew how to honour the important parts they had played in the rise of Albion.
On the days he spoke about magic to Sarah she begged him to show her what he could do with his gift. Of course he never disappointed her curious nature. A flower would blossom to life on his palm or a dragon made out of tiny drops of water flew through the air to fade into nothingness the moment he let go of the spell. It filled his heart with joy when he saw how the children and the odd passer-by were all free to enjoy the beauty of magic without being afraid.
But none of the happy moments gave Merlin answers to what it meant to live forever, and so he became restless. Not even the crystal cave offered him answers. The few times when he had visited the magical place he wished his father would appear to him again, but Balinor had never showed. "The answers are within you", was whispered on a fleeting breeze inside the cave one day. Merlin thought it had been his father and so he'd shouted his name, but to his sadness no more advice was forthcoming. When the crystals only showed him darkness and troubled times Merlin had run from the dark place. It was the last time he'd felt brave enough to visit.
Many summers later he would laugh at the humour of lady fate, for it was when he stopped looking that Iseldir returned to Camelot to bring him answers. His tribe had always lived in the forest, and even after the laws had changed and his people were set free Iseldir stayed true to his nomadic nature. Merlin hadn't seen him for at least five summers or so, but when his eyes fell upon the druid chieftain he saw the man had changed only in appearance. His hair had gone almost white now, but the mysterious smile and kind eyes were something he would always remember him by.
"Emrys", Iseldir used his mind's voice after he caught sight of the warlock. There was no change to Emrys' appearance. The blatant agelessness in his still younger friend seemed to be more than just a druid prophecy. There was a sense of loss and restlessness in the depth of Emrys' eyes, as well as a profound yet quiet sadness barely contained within. To see the war of emotions play on the unchanged face before him had Iseldir realise why the Goddess had come to him the way she did.
For a long time Emrys had lived in the name of destiny. Everything he did and would do was to fulfil a prophecy which would only end at a time far into the future. No one knew how long the warlock would live, but some believed it was forever. It was why the druid people named him Emrys. Iseldir could never think of him as Merlin; not even when everyone else around them called the man by the name his mother gave him. It just didn't fit him the way his druid name did.
Deep blue eyes sparkled to life with joy before Emrys clasped his wrist in greeting. "Iseldir, it is good to see you and your tribe around again. Welcome back to Camelot."
With an answering smile Iseldir clasped Emrys' wrist in return. "We came to find you this time, Emrys. I have come to take you away from Camelot for a while. There is something we wish to show you…"
It amused Iseldir when the blue eyes narrowed, just like he had expected them to. It was a clear sign to him that a protest formed in Emrys' brain. Iseldir had no doubt the plain hesitance related to Camelot and its rulers. Even with the Once and Future King gone Emrys seemed bound to the town. While he understood why the younger man felt this way he did not agree. Albion was more than just the town of Camelot for it was also the forests, the hills and villages beyond it. Emrys wasn't born a druid, but he was a child of the Old Religion and it was about time he learned what the old ways entailed. Iseldir was firm in his belief that it would help Emrys in his long life ahead.
Side by side they sat down on the stairs which led up into the castle. "All this will be here for a while yet", Iseldir promised and when Emrys stayed silent to listen to what he had to say he continued. "You have lived for others since the day you came into this world, but at some point you have got to learn to live for yourself. The passing of time already has a different meaning for you, hasn't it?"
The wry nod told Iseldir all he needed to know. "Let us show you there is no reason to fear who you are and what is to come. Visions of the future are not set in stone; you can still make it what you want it to be. Live Emrys…"
Iseldir rose to his feet. "We will await you in the Darkling Woods. Give us a full moon cycle to show you the path forwards into the future." Walking off he felt Emrys' eyes on his back, but he didn't turn around. This was one step the still young warlock had to take by himself.
Nomadic life with the druid tribe was easy going. Merlin found comfort and a natural peace with them he had never expected to feel again. Iseldir showed him the beauty of nature, told him stories and he explained how magic to the druids could be found in every fibre of the world around them. In some ways Merlin had always felt its presence, but he never allowed himself enough time to just sit down and enjoy it. The freedom to just walk where ever the day or their moods took them made him smile like he had not for some time.
Another unexpected source of joy was Kendra; one of the four adult children of Iseldir. Her warm and spontaneous nature touched his slow healing heart. They laughed together while they searched for food to eat or a stream to quench their thirst. Often they spoke of whatever thought played on their minds. Kendra listened to him like no one else had. She didn't look at him with awe for being the great warlock Emrys and she also didn't expect him to live up to a destiny he never wanted. All she saw in him was the young boy from Ealdor who grew into a brave man. In her manners she reminded him of Gwaine, because she flirted with life… and with most of the men of the tribe too. Yet time and time again she came back to walk by his side.
Merlin listened to Iseldir, who told him of life and how every moment needed to be enjoyed as if it was the last one he had. His tribe had lived on the run and in hiding for so long, but every day they were not caught was celebrated. While some of their close ones had fallen in the dark days after the purge they were all unwilling to give up on their beliefs and somehow they'd found a shared comfort in what they still had left between them. Merlin found their spiritual strength inspirational. When he admitted as much Iseldir smiled at him in a manner which said, "I told you so."
In the winter the tribe found caves to shelter them from the cold. Merlin often woke up to find Kendra sleeping curled up close against his side; her eyes looking at him with promise before her lips found his to kiss him good morning. He saw her do the same thing to other men too and her easy flirts confused him. Did she want him, or not?
Unsure about what to think he tried to keep his distance from her, but Iseldir would have none of his hesitance. "My daughter is a force of nature, Emrys. Her heart and spirit are like the butterfly. She won't sit still for long, but if she chooses to spend time with you… enjoy it. Listen to your heart, and live for these moments you have together. Enjoy the affection she wishes to share. Love is what keeps us warm and alive, remember that."
With the arrival of spring came the sunshine and the growth of fresh green leaves on the trees. The druids came out of the caves to walk off further into the hills. While everything blossomed to life around them so did Merlin's heart. Though he still mourned his lost friends it no longer hurt so deep it tore him apart on every moment of the day. Slowly he found a way to think and speak of Arthur and Gwaine with more than a fond smile.
On some days Kendra listened with wide eyes to his stories about life at Arthur's side. Merlin came to see that she understood their bond without words, and in her arms he at last dared to let go of his pain and tears. On the days when it hurt too much to speak she wrapped herself around him before they made tender love underneath the stars. It felt wonderful to him, and odd at once, to just be for a while without demands or threats to the kingdom he still held close to his heart.
The world turned to a luscious green while the days drew longer. Iseldir led his tribe and Emrys even further into the hills in the west. He knew that with every step forwards that his path of life was getting closer to the end, but he had found his peace and faced it without fear. The ancient spirits had foretold him that soon he would find another way to be. His people would never truly be left without him for his gift was passed down onto his son and then the sons after him. Long after his body would leave the mortal world his spirit remained. It was the way of life, and so Iseldir found solace in the endless cycle of the world.
Walking next to Emrys he showed the younger man, who had become a close friend, the barren and steep hill top coming up in the distance. It stood high and proud among its neighbouring peaks, and the green fields around. "This is what I wanted to show you. From the top of that hill you can see the world lie at your feet and the wind will blow freely around you for no tree stands in its way. It is a place of freedom and of magic."
Emrys looked at him, a frown on his face, and asked, "What is it called?"
"Local druids call it Pen-y-Fan."
Eyes narrowed at the old foreign language he had used, but Iseldir didn't enlighten his friend. Emrys would soon enough understand what the name stood for once they were up there. Iseldir though was in no hurry to reach the summit. At his age moving fast was no longer a concept his body understood; and knowing what awaited him he decided to enjoy every breath he had left before he got up there.
With a smile Iseldir realised Emrys had fallen into the same relaxed pace his people had always lived by. It almost felt as if the younger man had walked with them for ages, but Iseldir knew that his journey with them would not last long this time around. Change simmered on the horizon. It promised dark times of battle and everything which came with it coming towards them from the lands far beyond Camelot. Soon the town would be just a lost moment in history. That was, if his bleak vision proved right…
On the morning of the summer solstice Iseldir awoke Emrys. "Come, walk with me. The top awaits us." He smiled at the yawn and the look of confusion in the younger man's eyes. Watching as he let go of Kendra, who slept in his arms, Iseldir kept his emotions of the moment locked inside his heart. His daughter was as beautiful to him as ever and he almost gave in to waking her up too, but he knew that if he did he would not be able to walk off. So he shook the impulse from his mind while he waited for Emrys to rise to his feet and grab his few belongings. Moments later they walked off into the dawn.
The sun peeked just over the summit of the Pen-y-Fan when the two men began their uphill walk. Iseldir glanced at the green top before he turned to Emrys with his mind's voice. "Feel the presence in the earth and the air, Emrys. This place will touch you in more ways than one, but do not fear its ancient power." Out loud he added, "Magic, it is more than the gift inside of us. It is what binds us humans to the earth. As long as there is balance the world will thrive. Lose touch and everything falls apart."
For a moment the words lingered in the air between them. After a while though Emrys held his eyes with a look of understanding. "I was once told that I am magic and slowly I begin to see why. The power of this place I can feel it touch my skin while it pulses deep inside my veins as if I am tune with the earth itself. It is…" Iseldir smiled when Emrys faltered, unable to find the words to describe the beautiful tingling of the magic inside their souls and minds.
"As a boy my father taught me that these hills around us were shaped by the Goddess of nature. Caridwen brought walls of ice and large stones to create a safe haven for my ancestors and all of our descendants. As long as we honour her as the mother of the creation of life magic will remain hidden within these hills. It is said that only those of us who are pure of heart can feel and see all of its beauty. Maybe, if the spirits are willing, Caridwen will show herself to us on the summit, but I must warn you… some believe this can happen only if one leaves this world behind."
Silence descended over them for a while as they walked on. Iseldir sensed how by his side Emrys mulled everything over. It was like he could see the wheels turning within to connect the dots he had left behind throughout their journey. Soon there would be questions, of this Iseldir was sure, and soon Emrys would understand why they had to come here together.
