Chapter Two
Paging Dr. Cullen...
buzzzz... buzzzz... buzzzz...
The vibrations coming from beneath my pillow were seriously annoying the fuck out of me. I felt like I´d just close my eyes and now it was time to get up.
Seriously, I feel like shit...
If it weren´t for the fact that my job gave me the ultimate high; I swear I´d quit and become a professional bum. Fuck, who am I trying to kid. I can not work another day in life and still would never reach bum status.
Being Dr. Edward Cullen- pediatric neurologist and one of Seattle´s most eligible bachelors- kept me in a certain social standing. Not that I bothered with any of it, it just seem to come with the my birthright.
Somethings were just handed to me, whether I wanted them or not. Which is why I´ve always chosen to work my ass off and earn the things I truly desired. With the exception of one, but that´s neither here nor there at the moment. She will always and forever be my unattainable dream.
Hearing my name paged over the hospital intercom, serves to shake my mind from the foggy sleep induced haze.
¨Dr. Cullen please dial extension 1995... Dr. Cullen please dial extension 1995...¨
I pinched the bridge of my nose, while ruining my hand through my genetically unruly hair. I took a few more seconds to gain my bearings, slipped on my shoes and exited the on-call lounge. Usually I would just lay on the plush leather couch in my office, but during my 18 hour shifts, it´s better to grab a bed when I can.
I picked up the lounge phone and dialed the extension to the ER.
¨Emergency this is Heidi,¨ came the familiar voice of the desk operator.
¨Good evening Heidi. This is Dr. Cullen returning the page. What have you got for me.¨ I spoke donning an automatic professional tone.
¨Oh... uhh.. yeah... Dr. Cullen. Umm.. hold on...lemme see..¨ she stammered nervously giving away to her obvious infatuation for me. Poor thing. She was easy enough on the eyes, but I learned a long time ago.. never mix business with pleasure.
My father instilled in my siblings and I at a very early age ´to never shit where we eat´. In the end you´ll need more that Lysol to cover up the stench. I´d seen first hand how ugly work relationships can get. Especially when they break up.
I tend to have a bit more of an exotic taste when it comes to the bedroom, so all the more reason for me to be extra careful and very selective of my choices. Somethings I don´t need spilling over into my professional life.
My internal ramblings are interrupted yet again. ¨Yeah.. are you still there?¨ She asked. Where the hell else would I be.. didn´t she tell me to hold on.. I hate when people ask dumb questions.
¨Yes Heidi. I´m still here,¨ I did nothing to mask my apparent irritation at her albeit brief, but very blond moment.
¨So..so..sorry Dr. Cullen.¨ She stuttered. Get grip already.. would ya... We have a seventeen year old girl brought in for epileptic seizing. Dr. Cullen would like for you to examine her and consult on the case.¨ She informed me once she manged to pull her head of her ass.
¨Thank you, Heidi. Let him know I´m on my way.¨ I hung up the phone and headed to the elevator to make my way down to the emergency room.
I loved working with my father, but I wonder why he´s consulting on this case. Dad has been the head of the Neonatal Unit at Seattle´s children hospital for the past ten years. He was one hell of a doctor too. He was the reason I had chosen to pursue medicine, my specialty being pediatric neurology.
As a child I spent hours upon hours listening to my father go on and on about some of the many children he´d helped. I also saw what it did to him on those rare occasions when it was just out of his hands.
It would devastate him when he lost a child, but he never blamed himself. He would always say, ¨Son, somethings are out of our control, but it´s better to loose one and save twenty... than to loose them all.¨
I remember loosing my first patient. I wanted to quit, but Carlisle Cullen would have none of that. I´ve never told anyone, but I still have nightmares that haunt me repeatedly. They always end the same, me jolting awake in a cold sweat... feeling like a complete failure.
I sauntered up to the desk where my father was reading through the patient´s chart. Game face on and ready to assess the situation. I could tell by the look on his face that this was not just a normal case of epilepsy. Hopefully, we would be able to put our heads together and figure this thing out.
What ever it was.
¨Dr. Cullen,¨ I greeted him with mock sarcasm. ¨What can I help you with this evening.¨
¨Hello son,¨ he didn´t even bother looking up from the chart. It was almost as if he was willing the solution to just magically appear on the paper he was staring at.
¨Dad, what´s the problem? Why are you consulting in the ER?¨ I was beginning to worry, this must be serious. My usually calm and collected father was visibly frazzled.
My father sighed. He looked as if the weight of the world rested upon his shoulders. ¨Son, it´s not good. I´m here because she´s pregnant.¨ As hard as he tried to mask it, I could see the pain reflecting in his eyes as he spoke. It wouldn´t be visible to the naked eye, but I knew my father better than most people. I knew what to look for.
¨Let me guess. She hasn´t been taking her AEDs has she.¨ It was more of a statement than a question. This was something we had seen before. Teen mothers not taking the necessary precautions needed to ensure the delivery of a healthy baby.
We never know for sure how things will turn out, but we can attempt to take precautionary measures to ensure the best possible outcome.
My father interrupted my mental chastisement of the teenager, ¨that´s just it son. She is taking her meds. They just don´t seem to be controlling the seizures. I´m afraid of the strain this is having on the the baby,¨ he explained in a hollow and distant voice. ¨It´s too soon for delivery. I wanted you to have a look at her chart and get your opinion.¨ His eyes seemed to be pleading with me to find the solution, that I´m sure he thought he was overlooking.
When I finally climbed into my Volvo C70, I let out a breath, I didn´t even know I was holding. It feels like my eighteen hour shifts just keep getting longer and longer.
Thankfully, I don´t have to return to the hospital until Monday. I take a few minutes to just breath in the sultry smell of the fresh leather of my car. It serves as a form of cleansing, after spending the last day and a half breathing in the sterile hospital environment.
Throwing my baby into reverse, I head home drowning my self in the sounds of Kings of Leon. I can´t wait to take a hot shower and climb into bed. I am so fucking tired, I can barely see straight. The ringing of my cell in surround sound, effectively puts an end to my mental to do list.
¨What do you want?¨ I snapped not at all trying to hide my crabby mood.
¨Are you angry with your slut Master?¨ Asked the last voice I needed to hear right now.
¨Tanya,¨ I said sternly. ¨How many times have I told you to not address me that way outside of my home.¨ Fuck! This day has officially just gotten worse.
¨I´m sorry Mas..¨ I cut her off before she could finish the statement.
¨Enough. Why is it that you insist on defying me.¨ I was seething. I had enough of Tanya´s bullshit and I was just prolonging the inevitable. I was going to have to end our arrangement. This was no longer working for me.
¨Awww... Eddie,¨ she purred. ¨I´m sorry, but I just get so turned on when your mad. How about I come over and make it up to you. I´m sure you could use a little Tanya time after all those loooong hours at the hospital.¨ I could hear the hope in her voice. The hope that just this once, I would concede and invite her to my home- more specifically to my bed.
Tanya had been my submissive for the last year and a half, and I´d yet to invite her to share my bed. Hell, she didn´t even wear my collar. That was not something I took lightly, so I wasn´t handing them out like Halloween candy. I had only ever had two collared subs.
Unbeknownst to her, no one had ever shared my bed. It was the one place I could dream of her. The one place that I could make love to her night after night in my dreams, but would never let it be defiled by another woman. My room was off limits... no exceptions.
¨Tanya,¨ I sighed. ¨How many times are we going to have this conversation? Our arrangement at the moment stands as is. I have no desire to mesh the two.¨ It felt like I was giving this same speech at least once a week now. ¨Was it not enough of an indication, when I lessoned our playtime to every other weekend. I am not now, nor will I ever be interested in a romantic relationship.¨ I couldn´t find it in me to feel bad for telling her this.
¨Eddie...¨ she whined.
¨Don´t fucking call me that.¨ I growled. I hated that stupid fucking nickname. I may let Emmett get away with that shit, but I´ll be a motherfucker if I let her call me that. It´s not that I was showing favoritism, but my brother was a 6´2¨, 260lb brick wall, that just so happen to also be a Seattle Seahawks wide receiver.
Now do you see why I let him get away with it...
¨Okay.. okay.. I´m sorry. Edward, why can´t we just have dinner? Where´s he harm in that?¨ She reasoned.
This chick was nuts. Has she not heard a word that I´ve said. My hand moved to tug at my hair in frustration. It´s my security blanket or nervous habit, take your pick. I just know in tense situations it´s the first place I look to find a sense of calm.
I pulled into the parking garage of Escala, not even remembering the drive home. Thank God I always protect myself with an iron clad contract. Specifically for situations such as these. I had had previous submissive´s I´d trained and played with from time to time confess to having feelings for me, but Tanya was by far the worst.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I took in a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself. ¨Listen Tanya, I don´t know what to tell you. We have had this conversation more times than I care to remember. I don´t know what you want me to say,¨ I spoke slowly as if I was explaining to a five year old that Santa does not in fact exist. I was beyond exasperated.
¨Edward, how do you know. You´ve never tried. It could be so good between us, I know it. Please... just give us a chance.¨ She cried.
And there you have it folks the fucking waterworks. That was usually the second part in this theatrical performance. It usually started when the begging didn´t seem to work.
¨Tanya, I am so fucking tired. I have been awake for almost twenty-four hours. I do not have time for this. I. Can. Not. Be. What. You. WANT!¨ I shouted giving emphasis to each word. She was fucking driving me insane.
¨But Edward..¨ she sniffed.
¨No... no buts. I will see you tomorrow at 6p.m. sharp. Not a minute before or a minute later. We will proceed with this weekend´s schedule as agreed upon. You will then leave at 3p.m. Saturday. I have a prior engagement with my parents.¨ My voice was void of emotion and rang with finality.
¨Ed..¨ she started to speak.
¨Don´t speak.¨ I ordered before she could make the suggestion I knew what was coming next. ¨Before you ask, I do not need, nor do I want a date. Thanks... but no thanks. It just serves to confuse our arrangement more than it already is. Now if your done, I´d like to get on with my evening. I´ll see you tomorrow at our scheduled time. Good night.¨ With that I pressed end on the steering wheel and exited the car.
The elevator opened up to my foyer and I was immediately assaulted by the delicious aroma of Mrs. Cope´s marinara sauce. I inhaled deeply filling my lungs with the tantalizing scent.
God bless my housekeeper...
Nothing like coming home after a totally fucked up day, to homemade pasta and pasta sauce. I made it to the kitchen in three quick strides knowing that fresh garlic bread would accompany my meal.
Gail had worked for me for the past five years, she was like a second mother to me. In the beginning, she would come three maybe four times a week. When her husband past away two and a half years ago, I remodeled the back office and bedroom. I combined the two to give her adequate living arrangements and moved her in.
They was never able to have children, so I took it upon myself to step into that role. I just couldn´t live with myself, if I allowed her to go home to that empty house, filled with nothing but memories of her dead husband. She protested in the beginning, but armed with my crooked smile of persuasion she quickly relented to my request.
We agreed she would sell the house and I invested the proceeds wisely. She´s very stubborn and proud. Knowing she would never except handouts, the investments serve as a camouflage to the retirement account I had set up in her name.
She also thinks she´s helping me out financially around the penthouse, but that money just goes in the account as well. She´ll never have to work another day in her life. When the time comes I´ll hire another housekeeper for her to supervise.
She´s full of fire and wise beyond imagination. Though we´ve never talked about the one room she never cleans- that remains locked. I think she has some kind of idea, that I´m up to no good. I can´t help but cringe at the idea of Mrs. Cope entering my playroom. Not something I want to experience.
Thankfully, she has a sister who lives in Port Angeles, that she spends every weekend with. For me it works out perfectly, even though you can´t hear a thing. The playroom is completely soundproof. Friday mornings, bright and early a driver comes to transport her safely to Port Angeles and same said driver returns her to me on Monday morning. Like I said... works out perfectly.
¨Good evening Mrs. Cope. Something smells delicious.¨ I compliment while stealing a cucumber from the salad she´s tossing.
She playfully smacks my hand away, ¨Edward Anthony, how many times do I have to tell you to wash your filthy hands before entering my kitchen,¨ she scolds me playfully extending her neck so that I can kiss her cheek.
I shrug my shoulders non-nonchalantly and steal another cucumber as I give her a kiss. ¨Sorry, I forgot,¨ smiling like the cat that swallowed the canary. She can never resist my boyish charms.
She harrumphed as she stirred the sauce, ¨What am I gonna do with you?¨ She mused.
¨I have no idea,¨ I responded playfully. ¨But while you figure it out I´m gonna take a shower. Be sure to let me know what you come up with.¨ I teased as she swatted my behind with her dishtowel on my way to my bedroom.
I´m grateful I have Mrs. C to come home to. I just know that Gail would love her. How I would love to come home to the two of them laughing over dinner preparations. That would make my otherwise dull existence complete.
Cullen get your fucking head out of the sand... It ain´t gonna happen... Your to chicken shit to tell her how you feel...
I hate it when my conscience is right. I strip down to my boxers and pick up the phone to call my sister. Whenever I think of her, I always call Alice. Little does she know, she´s my one connection to my unattainable dream.
¨Hey there big Bro.¨ Alice squealed causing my ears to ring.
¨Dammit Alice, must you squeal so loud in my ears.¨ I scold playfully. I could never be mad at the little pixie, she had me wrapped around her little finger. Actually, she had everyone that way, well except for Esme. Her loyalties divided down the middle between Em and I. But for us boys and my dad, Alice could do no wrong.
¨Sorry,¨ she apologized. ¨I´m just excited to hear your voice, that´s all. I feel like I never see you anymore.¨ I knew she was right. I had somewhat distanced myself from everyone. My family especially, even when I´m with them physically, I was always distant. My mother always complained that if it wasn´t for Mrs. C and working at the hospital with my father- she would never know what was going on with me.
Which is going to make sharing my news Saturday that much harder. I was offered a position to be part of a team of elite and well trained medical professionals. We were going to work in Switzerland for six weeks.
Six weeks was nothing and the time would be over before I knew it, but it would take me away from my family for the holidays. Esme would have a fit. She made it mandatory that we be present for all major holidays. Christmas and New Years being at the top of that list.
Generally, if we wanted to schedule vacations or any sort of getaways, we had to do so without interrupting mother´s favorite times of the year. Not even Emmett was excused. If he had a game, we all loaded into my parents private plane to support him where ever the game may be. It didn´t matter where we were, just as long as we were together.
I still hadn´t made up my mind if I would accept the position or not. There were still a few things hindering my decision. Although, my earlier conversation with Tanya and the fact that it would give me a breather once I end our arrangement. There was still something holding me back.
Her...
Maybe just maybe she would be coming to visit Alice this Christmas. The pixie could be very persuasive. Hmmm.. Christmas with her... I have to find away to give her the perfect gift. Seriously Cullen... your a fucking head case..
Once again my conscience was right. What the hell was I thinking.
¨Edward! She´ll understand. She´ll be hurt, but she´ll understand.¨ Alice spoke cryptically. Who the hell was she? And what is she rambling about?
¨Mom, dummy. She´s going to understand you have to leave, but that won´t stop her from missing you and being hurt,¨ she explained her ramblings as if she could read my mind.
¨How the fuck do you do that... you little freak. Stay out of my head.¨ I could never understand how, but Alice always knew things. I wonder if she knows how I felt about her. If so, why has she never said anything. It´s not like Alice to mind her business.
I could hear my sisters tinkling laughter on the other end of the phone. ¨Of course I know silly,¨ she singsonged. ¨And who says I´m minding my own business.¨ She teased me to no avail.
¨Alice your seriously creeping me out. What are you talking about this time?¨ I pressed hoping she would confirm my thoughts.
¨Nothing Edward. Look are you coming to mom and dad´s on Saturday?¨ She had moved on. I knew it was pointless now. She wasn´t going to answer my question, that much was obvious.
Reaching in I start the shower. It was one of my favorite places in my penthouse. It had sixteen shower jets that sprayed my body at every angle, a large rain shower head, and also a removable shower arm. Cost me a fortune, but was worth every penny. It felt like going through a super car wash, after a long stressful day it was just what the Dr. ordered.
¨Yesss... I´ll be there.¨ I sighed not even remotely trying to hide my petulance.
¨Please tell me your coming alone. And that you´ll put Tanya out with the morning trash.¨ It was no secret that Alice hated Tanya. My sister knew all about my lifestyle. Actually, both my siblings did. Seeing how they were also part of said lifestyle as well.
¨Of course I´m not bringing her Alice. You know I don´t mix the two aspects of my life.¨ I responded with mock irritation. That was only partially the truth. If I had my way, I would mix the two. I can´t explain it. All of a sudden I wanted more. More than just a weekend hard fuck. I want somebody to love.
Fuck!
I want HER!
¨Good!¨ She snapped. ¨I have to go. I have to put the finishing touches on Bella´s wedding dress, so I can have tomorrow free.¨ My heart stopped. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. No... No... No... Nooooo...
What did she mean. She can´t be getting married. Why didn´t I know about this.
¨Edward... Edward... EDDWAAAARD!¨ I could hear Alice yelling my name, but I couldn´t find my voice. I was lost in a fog of despair. I slumped to the floor in the now steam filled bathroom and tried to dig deep within me to find my voice.
¨Alice, I´m sorry. I´m still hear.¨ My voice sounded hollow and lifeless. I didn´t even recognize it myself. ¨I.. I.. I didn´t know Isabella,¨ I choked because her name burned on the way out. I didn´t get to finish my statement before Alice piped in.
¨Well that´s because you live like a hermit. Seriously, Edward, it´s like you live under a rock sometimes. I´ve been planning this wedding for months now.¨ That was it. I couldn´t listen to anymore. I quickly made an excuse about Mrs. Cope calling me to dinner. I hung up the phone, discarded my boxers in the hamper and climbed in the shower.
I couldn´t deal with this right now. Not here, so I turned the shower as high and as hot as I could stand it. I let my mind wonder to other trivial things, things that were easier to think about.
I´ve be asked several times in casual conversation at the club or various munches about my feelings towards my sister being a submissive. Never mind that my little brother is one as well, but you know it´s always different for girls. I don´t find it weird at all, nor does this bother me.
It would if I was on the outside looking in. If I didn´t know the true beauty and fulfillment of a D/s relationship.
There are several different aspects of this lifestyle. You can take it to the extreme and it be solely about getting off and sexual gratification. Or it can be a beautiful intimate and erotic form of sensuality.
That is my draw to BDSM. I love the control. I love knowing that I am the only one who has this type of control over my submissive. To have respect, complete submission, and love, would be a dream come true.
My best friend Jasper has it all. At times I watch him and Alice, and the love they share is palpable. It saturates the room. All my family has it. My mother and father... Rose and Em. I´m the only odd man out. Jasper´s always encouraging me to not give up, but I don´t see how to continue hoping.
Not now.
Don´t go there... save it for later...
Jazz was the first one I told. We had been roommates in college and best friends since high school. We were attending Dartmouth College at the time. I was studying neuroscience and Jazz was majoring in history. I´d just broken up with my then girlfriend Claire, when I noticed the change in me.
She was absolutely stunning. Long cornsilk blond hair, legs that went on forever, and the bluest eyes I´d ever seen. Originally, I did´t have a type per say, not until I met her. I found myself comparing every female I saw to her. Instead of always leaving disappointed, I made it a point to only date blonds.
Claire and I had been dating for about three months, when things began to shift. I´d always been a very sexually giving person, but at the same time I always needed to be in control. Claire and I had some pretty hot and wild sex, but she never quite relinquished total control to me. She allowed me to be ruff and even overly physical, but never would she submit and trust me blindly.
I started avoiding her with excuses about my studies, until I just couldn´t avoid her anymore. I felt like shit when I broke it off, and didn´t leave my apartment other than to attend class for over a month.
In the beginning, Jazz just let me be- claiming he was giving me space to deal with my shit- but as the days grew longer in between my showers that´s when he had enough. Claiming that if I didn´t get my shit together, the board of health was going to shut us down... due to my stench.
Flashback...
¨Dude.. what the fuck. You stink.¨ Jasper winced at the obvious stench in the room. ¨Edward, would you fucking talk to me. Your my best friend. Man your scaring me. I´ve never seen you like this.¨ I could see the fear in Jasper´s eyes. My friend was truly worried about me.
I nervously ran my fingers through my gummy hair. Fuck! I really did need a shower. I let out my breath in a huff. ¨Jazz, I don´t know man. Something is fucking wrong with me. I.. I.. grrrr...¨ I was so frustrated. How was I supposed to explain it to him when I couldn´t even explain it to myself.
¨Calm down man. Just start by telling me what happened between you and Claire. Do you want her back.¨ He questioned hesitantly. ¨Are you in love with her.¨ I could tell he was grasping at straws.
I laughed without humor. I couldn´t believe he asked me that. He knew there was someone from Chicago that I was in love with, but he didn´t know who. I knew that my little sister had a thing for my best friend and it would only be a matter of time before they hooked up. I couldn´t risk my secret getting out.
¨No Jazz, I am definitely not in love with Claire,¨ he could tell by my tone of voice that I was being truthful. ¨Jazz can I tell you something? I´ve just gotta talk to somebody and your the only one I trust.¨ I spoke to the floor. I couldn´t find it in me to see the look of disgust that was sure to follow my confession.
¨Sure man,¨ he drawled unable to keep his southern accent from coming through. ¨E, man you know you can tell me anything. Your just like my brother. You know you can trust me right.¨ He was right. I knew I could trust Jazz with my life. I have never known a more genuinely trustworthy person than Jasper Whitlock.
I started to speak and couldn´t stop the floodgate that broke within me. I had been holding this in for far too long. I told Jazz all about Claire and I and where I felt things went wrong. I told him how she was really the first girl to let me get a bit kinky. It was when I realized I wanted more than just kink, more than just spanking and hard fucking, was when I broke it off.
I wanted respect. I wanted free reign to worship a woman´s body. I wanted to control how and when she received pleasure. I wanted to dominate. I felt so light, once I got all that off my chest. Jazz was quiet for so long, I was afraid he´d bolted from the room. When he did speak, it was the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth.
¨Edward, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.¨ It didn´t register what he said to me at first, so I immediately became defensive.
¨Jazz, you told me that I could..¨ I looked up at my best friend as the realization of what he said dawned on me. ¨Are you serious Jazz. You mean you don´t think I´m a freak?¨ I could feel the invisible weight being lifted from my chest at his acceptance.
¨Only if you think I´m one,¨ he smirked shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.
My eyes grew as wide as saucers. Is Jasper saying what I think he´s saying. How could I not have known this. I mean.. Jazz never seriously dated anyone, but I just thought he wasn´t ready to be tied down.
¨Don´t fuck with me.¨ I warned him with my eyes. ¨Jazz, are you serious.¨ I was now sitting on the edge of the couch hanging on his every word.
¨Yes man. It actually feels good to talk to you about this. I´m sorry I couldn´t tell you before.¨ I could see the look of remorse in his eyes. I understood. There were things I couldn´t tell him yet either. I didn´t know if I ever would be able to tell him.
I was eager to learn all I could, ¨so Jazz, what do I have to do? Is there somewhere I can go to find girls who like this sort of thing.¨ It had been almost three months since my dick got wet. I couldn´t help but to be a little eager beaver.
¨Whoa.. whoa... slow down there Master Edward,¨ he teased laughing at my unabashed eagerness. ¨To answer your question.. yes, there are places you can go where girls like domination¨
¨Why do I feel like there´s a but coming.¨ My dick was rock hard. Already excited at the prospect of fucking someone tied to a bed or a pole. I´m not picky...
¨Only because there is one. Look E, I take my lifestyle very seriously and if you want my help... you will too.¨ I could tell he was serious, so I sat up straighter to pay closer attention. ¨ My mentor´s name is Peter. I will speak to him about training you, because there are so many things that can go wrong if you don´t have the proper training,¨ he said. ¨Always remember Edward, you have a sister. Would you want someone to hurt her or Ms. Chicago secret?¨ His question cause me to see red. I would rip a fuckers balls off, before I willingly let him hurt Alice. And her... for her I would kill. No questions asked.
End flashback...
I was introduced to Peter and my life was never the same. He was the best Master I had ever encountered. I learned not only the physical, but the emotional and mental sides of BDSM as well. Peter and his submissive/wife Charlotte had been married for the past fifteen years.
There were times I wanted to look for another Master, not understanding why after a month and a half of training I still wasn´t allowed to scene with a submissive. Peter would patiently say,¨Edward, when you learn that this is not all about you and your sexual gratification... when you learn that it is a gift to have a submissive´s service... and when you can focus more on giving that´s when you receive the most. Then and only then will I allow to you scene with a submissive.
I won´t lie. It was hard. Probably harder than Mr. Miyagi was on Daniel La Russo in the Karate Kid, but I´m now one of the most sought after and well respected Doms in the Seattle area. It was because of Peter´s teachings that I had no problem accepting Jazz as my sister´s Dom. Peter and Charlotte, as well as, Jazz and Alice have the type of relationship I longed for. One of true love and submission.
With my muscles fully relaxed and my skin burning and red from the intense heat of the water. I exited the shower. Dressing in a t-shirt and a pair of sleep pants, I padded barefoot through the house in search of dinner. Having heard the shower turn off, Mrs. Cope was already placing my dinner on the table. She bid me good night and left me to enjoy my meal, retiring to her room to prepare for her weekend.
Damn.. that was good. If only I had someone to share it with. I sighed. The silence in the room was beginning to suffocate me. I stretched my legs and rose from the table, carrying my dishes into the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher. I poured myself another glass of wine and headed to my room.
I docked my ipod and the room was immediately enveloped in the warm sounds of a baby grand piano. I had no idea what the piece was, but it soothed me nonetheless. Crawling into my big, cold, and lonely bed, I grabbed my laptop. I was feeling rather masochistic tonight. I needed to feel. Even if it was gut wrenching pain. I needed to feel.. something... anything.. So when Google loaded, I typed in her name... Isabella Swan.
My eyes were immediately rewarded with image after beautiful image of her. My muse... my one.. my unattainable dream. She was just as beautiful as I remembered her. No I´m lying. She was even more beautiful now. She still had those big beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Her heart-shaped face had matured, but only marginally. Her silky locks were longer than I remembered, though my fingers still itched to touch them. I can hardly believe it´s been five years since I´ve last seen my angel.
She was everything I wanted, but didn´t deserve. I was a monster. I had a room full of devices that I´m sure she would never understand, much less except. There was a side of me that Isabella could never love. And because of that, I would forever be alone. Fuck! Why did my life have to be so complicated.
I scrolled down to read her engagement announcement. It felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife. Right in the middle of my heart. Who was this fucking Jacob Black and did she love him. Obviously... Jackass.. for someone so smart... you sure can be fucking obtuse... My mind was right. She had to love him. She would never just marry for the sake of marrying.
My hands were clenched in tight fists. A red haze covered my vision as I watched that generic motherfucker pose with my girl.
Pfft... your girl... dream on casanova... looks like your girl is about to be his wife..
My hands made their way to my hair of their own volition. Pulling... tugging... to point that it was painful, yet comforting all at the same time. Taking slow and calming breaths, I finally released the death grip I had on my hair. Throwing back two Tylenol and the rest of my wine, I crawled between my three hundred dollar sheets.. praying for a peaceful nights sleep.
As it did on countless other nights when I longed for her, the drawer on my bedside table called to me. Without thinking about what I was doing, I pulled the old photo with the tattered edges from it´s hiding place.
It was my secret. My piece of her. It was a picture of Alice, Bella and I at their college graduation. She was stunning and smarter than most, having finished high school and now college at such an early age. I remember the shock of electricity that jolted through me when I touched her. I wonder did she feel it too. I wonder did she know. I loved her... even then. Over the years this photo has brought me comfort. It gave me hope that maybe there still was a chance for us. Now, I feel nothing but loss. The loss of my one and only true love. The half other that would have made me whole.
It wasn´t until the light danced across moisture glistening on the photo, that I realized... I was crying. My one shot at happiness was gone. I gently placed the picture back in the drawer. The Seattle skyline´s usual calming effect, did nothing for me tonight. Tapping the remote, the blinds automatically closed leaving the room and my heart shrouded in darkness.
¨Babyyy... that tickles,¨ her voice was husky with sleep. After all this time I still love waking her up with my mouth.
¨Mmmm..¨ I moaned into her stomach. I will never tire of pleasing her. Hearing her scream my name. My dick feels like marble granite as it painfully presses into the mattress.
She starts to wiggle as I continue my ministrations toward my goal. I placed a trail of open mouth kisses from her belly button to the apex in her thighs. I was rewarded with a squeal as I licked the crease of her thigh... my scruff tickling her sensitive skin.
¨Keep still!¨ I scolded playfully. ¨Would you like me to tie you to the bed.¨ I teased knowing we both had to get ready so there was no time for theatrics.
Watching her reactions from beneath my lashes, I slowly licked her slit from bottom to top. I was by no means disappointed. I watched proudly as her body arched perfectly from the bed. She was absolutely exquisite. I had never before seen a more beautiful and sensual creature like her.
¨Edward... please..¨ she was now palming her breast making my mouth water. I love that she´s not afraid to touch herself in front of me. As if it was even possible, my dick got even harder. Knowing what she wanted, I wasted no time giving my angel what she needed.
I swirl the tip of my tongue around her clit. It was so swollen her lips had parted, no longer able to accommodate it´s size. Her arousal smelled like the finest perfume and tasted better that the finest wine. And it was all for me.. she was always so wet for me.
The only thing about our morning rendezvous I didn´t like was the fact that I didn´t always have time to worship her body like she deserved, but trust me she always went to work happy.
Each moan that escaped her lips was like an electrical shock to my cock. As much as I wanted to be buried balls deep in her soft warm pussy, this was about her pleasure. I could wait.
¨Ahh... Edward.. yes.. fuck baby.. that feels sooo good..¨ she was beyond crazy now, as I pumped my two middle fingers in and out of her tight hole, while sucking her clit into my mouth. The extra pressure always drove her to the edge.
¨I´m so fucking close.. don´t stop Edward... pleasssseeeeee...¨ she begged me unnecessarily. I had no intention of stopping until she filled my mouth with her warm sweet and tangy nectar.
A deep groan escaped my throat. The vibrations made her pussy tighten around my fingers. I knew she was close. I removed my fingers causing her to whimper at the loss. Only to re-insert my first and second fingers to better massage her g-spot.
¨Aaaa.. fuck..¨ she was panting and yanking my hair painfully. I flattened my tongue and lapped at her clit shamelessly. Coupled with the vibrations of my moaning... she fell.
¨Aaaa...sss...haaaa... ooo... I´m... Edwardddddddd...¨ She was keening and mewling like a wanton little kitten. I had to concentrate, so I wouldn´t come at the mere sight.
The beauty of her ´cum face´ there was no comparison. The way her brow creased and her mouth formed a perfect little´o´. That wasn´t the best part, that was just at the end she would pull her bottom lip between her teeth, bit down while arching her back and let out the sexiest fucking moan I´d ever heard.
I slowed my movements giving her a moment to catch her breath. While lapping at the warm sweet, yet salty liquid that was pouring from her pussy. I was beyond ready to have my cock knee deep in her deliciously wet folds. Propping herself up on her elbow, she gave me that fucking innocent little lamb look, biting on that fucking lip.
Fuck she´s hot...
¨Edwardddd...¨ she sang curling her index finger in a come hither fashion.
¨Ah..ah...ah... little one. Not today. Your gonna have to tell me what you want.¨ It drove me mad when she told me how she wanted me to fuck her or if she just wanted to make love.
As the beautiful blush colored her cheeks, I could feel the pre-cum leaking from the head of my cock.
God I love her blush...
¨Please...¨ she pouted not at all playing fair. I stood my ground and moved my head in a ´no´ gesture. Accidentally on purpose brushing her overly sensitive clit. Ahh... ha.. my love two can play at that game.
¨I want... I want...¨ she pretended to fein indecision while licking her lips. Locking eyes with me, she finally cut to the chase. ¨I want you to enter me slow...¨ she said keeping her eyes locked on mine as I slowly snaked my way up her naked body.
¨Mmm.. hmmm... and what else do you want?¨ I absolutely love playing these little games with her.
¨I want you to start of slow... then fuck me really hard and fast till I cum,¨ her face was completely tinged in red. My body flush with hers, I could feel the warmth from her blush radiating her skin.
¨Mmmm...¨ I moaned into the crook of her neck as I slowly entered her warmth. ¨I´m gonna take up a notch. I´m gonna start out slow.¨ I explained as I pumped a slow rhythm in and out of her. It was taking all I had not to cum. There were no words to describe the feelings that I get each time I sheath myself in her warm sex.
She began to rotate her hips into my thrust. Fuck.. she knows what that does to me. I momentarily loose my train of thought when her hot little mouth connects with my skin. She sucks my earlobe into her mouth. Taunting... teasing.. me.. pushing me over the edge.
¨Ungh.. Fuck baby...¨ I groaned as I felt her clamp down on me. Fucking kegel exercises. She was really playing dirty this morning. I bent my head to ravage her mouth with a not to soft kiss. My tongue plunged into her mouth slipping and sliding- exploring the sweet cavern. She tasted like heaven.
¨Ahh.. Edward...¨ her moaning spurred me on. I leaned sat back on my heals, lifting her delicate feet to my shoulder.
¨Fuckkkk...¨ we moaned in unison.
This deeper angle allowed me to stroke her g-spot with each thrust. The sounds coming from deep in her throat were causing me to loose control. I was pumping like a mad man. She fucking owned me.
She let out a startled squeal when I pulled out and flipped her over in on quick move. I wasted no time slamming back into her slick pussy. Her body fit me like a fucking glove.
¨Babyyyyy...¨ I breathed in her ear causing her to shiver and goosebumps to sprout up in her back. ¨I fucked you slow. Now... I´m gonna. Fuck. You. Good. And. Hard.¨ I grunted with each pound of my cock in her pussy.¨And.. ungh.. not only.. ungh.. will you cum once.. ungh.. but three times.. ungh.. fuck..¨ I grabbed onto the headboard for leverage and pounded out a relentless rhythm that was driving my girl nuts.
The sound of flesh slapping rang out loudly in the dark room. I was sure Mrs. Cope could hear us, but I couldn´t find in me to care, as I felt her began to clench around be with the first of her three promised orgasms.
¨Haaaa.. oooo.. that´s enough.. please...¨ she pleaded for some type of reprieve, but I was lost. Lost in the slickness of her folds.. lost in the beauty that was my angel.
¨Ah.. ah.. aaa.. my little sex kitten.. One down... two to go...¨ I taunted swirling my hips and sending her over the edge again. It took all I had not to shoot my load. Her pussy clamped down on my dick like a venus flytrap.
I began peppering her back with kisses. I wanted to mark her. I wanted every motherfucker to know she was mine. I sucked on the sweet spot just below her ear. I know she´s gonna be pissed, but fuck it... she tastes to fucking good.
I wanted us to cum together this time. I lowered my body flush with hers. Hooking my arms under hers and gripping her shoulders palm up.
I began to fuck her like my life depended on it. I tried my best to fuck my way deeper and deeper into her warm depths. You couldn´t tell where she began or where I ended. Honestly, it still wasn´t close enough.
The muscles in my legs were beginning to cramp, but I couldn´t find the will to stop. It was almost as if this would be our last time. My balls were so fucking tight with my impending orgasm it was painful.
I had to cum and soon.
¨Fuck baby... one more..¨ I could feel her walls tighting.
¨No.. Edward.. I can´t .. uhhh... please..¨ she begged knowing the outcome would still be the same no matter how much she begged.
¨Yes you can.. and you will...¨ I ordered through clenched teeth. We were both sweating to the point that the sheets garnered the evidence of our intense love making. I thrust forcefully three more times before I ordered her to cum.
¨Clamp down... baby... now.. kegel now...¨ my voice was strained with exertion.
¨Aaaaa... fuckkkkk... ha..ha...ha...ha..¨ she was screaming obscenities and incoherent statements as she came harder than she had all morning.
The sexy as fuck sounds of her cumming, coupled with her pussy muscles clenching my dick in an almost uncomfortable vice grip- I came harder than I had in my entire life.
I dick shot what felt like bucket of cum deep into her waiting core. The shear force of it causing me to cry out...
BELLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I awoke with a jolt and the feeling of my stomach muscles clenching painfully, as hot streams of cum shot out of my dick like a volcano erupting. It felt like my orgasm lasted forever. Neither taking the time to care, nor feeling any type of shame. I yelled Bella´s name as my seed spilled all over my stomach and chest.
When I was finally able to find some semblance of calm, my entire body ached. I had had more wet dreams about Bella, than I cared to admit. Each one unique in it´s own way, but this one.. this one was by far the most intense. Never had I awaken from one of these dreams feeling the physical after effects. I literally felt like I had run a marathon. My muscles ached and my body was drenched in sweat.
My post coital bliss was short lived, when my traitorous mind replayed the photo and wedding announcement from last night. I was seriously fucked... I couldn´t keep torturing myself like this. I needed time away... time to clear my head... time to heal. Without ever conscientiously doing so my decision was made. I was ending my relationship with Tanya and heading to Switzerland.
At some point during my dreamland sexcapades my dick was freed of the confinements of my sleep pants. I normally sleep commando so even unconscious my dick is accessible. I crawled my sweaty, sticky, pathetic ass out of bed and headed to the shower. Thank God Mrs. Cope left hours ago. I´d hate to have to hideout in my room all day due to my embarrassment.
After I showered, I dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt. I shuffled out to the kitchen and the breakfast awaiting me in the warming oven. God I love Mrs. C. The homemade strawberry waffles and strawberry syrup were nothing short of amazing. After cleaning the breakfast dishes, I set about preparing the playroom for tonight's scene.
There really wasn´t much to set up, since I would be starting out with Tanya´s punishment for breaking the rules. She also wouldn´t be allowed to cum, so like I said, ¨not much to do.¨ I moved the whipping bench to the center of the room, made sure the toys I would be using were sterilized and ready, closed the door and headed to my study.
I had a few phone calls to make, emails to check and bills to pay. I purposely saved my mother for last, knowing she would be the longest.
I leaned back in my chair with my feet propped up on the corner of my desk and dialed Emmett´s number.
¨E.. what the fuck up dude?¨ Emmett´s cheerful voice boomed over the line.
I couldn´t help but smile. With Emmett there was never a dull moment. He could charm the fangs off a rattlesnake. ¨What´s up Em. How´s Rose.¨ I asked chuckling at my brother´s childish antics.
¨She´s fan-fucking-tabulus... thanks for asking. How´s that she-bitch Tanya doing?¨ He countered just like Alice never one to hold his tongue.
¨Gee Em.. why don´t you tell me how you really feel.¨ I said sarcastically knowing it wouldn´t make a bit of difference. They were gonna speak their mind regardless.
¨E.. man I just told you. That is how I really feel,¨ his tone garnering his seriousness. Sometimes I think all those sacks he takes has depleted his brain cells.
¨Never mind Em... never mind.I concede. ¨Hey man, are you going to mom and dad´s tomorrow night?¨ I questioned wanting to get to the point of my call.
¨Of course I am. Do you think I would miss an opportunity to gain more points as mommy´s favorite,¨ he teased looking to get a rise out of me.
¨Well.. hate to break it to Em, but I´ll be there too. So how pray tell do you plan on one-upping me this time?¨ This should be interesting, seeing how most of Em´s schemes always come back to bite him in the ass.
¨Well dear older brother,¨ he spoke as if he was speaking to a disobedient child. ¨Someone has to be there to pick up the pieces of our precious mother´s heart. You know with you being MIA for the holidays and all.¨ He said seemingly proud of himself at that revelation.
¨Fucking Alice!¨ I hissed. ¨She can never keep her fucking mouth shut. Dammit! Does Esme know already too?¨ I questioned angry that my sister revealed what I told her.
¨Whoa.. hold on there DomWayne. Don´t go drawing your cat-o-nines just yet,¨ he all out laughed, clearly finding his horrible joke funny. But then again this is Emmett... it´s to be expected. ¨She only told me, because you know we don´t keep secrets. Really bro,
she just had a feeling mom wouldn´t take the news well and just wanted us all to be there. No harm.. no foul.. right..¨ I couldn´t argue with him on that, it would be better if we were all there. I would make it a point to spend as much time with my mother as I could before I leave.
I finished shooting the shit with Em and called my mother.
¨Edward darling, how´s my baby doing?¨ My mother´s soothing voice wrapped me in a warm blanket of security. Even through the phone.
My mother and I were close. She was the only other person besides Jasper, that knew about her. Well about as much as I was willing to share. She always told me that she was the one. Give it time and things would work out for us to be together. How I wish she had been right.
The sound of my mother´s soothing voice always takes me back to my childhood. How I miss the days when we sat at my childhood piano and played silly duets. Funny thing was when I was younger, I always thought I would marry her. That is until my dad had a serious talk with me and instructed me to find my own wife and leave his alone.
¨Hey ma...¨ I sighed feeling safe and loved, despite my current circumstances.
¨Baby, what´s wrong. I know that voice. Something is troubling you son. What is it?¨ Her voice took on that worrying edge. She only had to hear my voice and she knew exactly when I needed her.
¨Aww.. nothing mom. I just wanted to hear your voice, that´s all,¨ I hated lying to my mother, but I also knew she wouldn´t pry. I suddenly had the strong urge to cry. Damn Cullen... your such a funking douche...
¨Edward, you know I won´t pry, but I also want you to know that I´m here if and when you need me.¨ Just like that I knew.. I knew I would be sleeping at my parents house tomorrow night. I knew I would lie in my old bed, in my old room, and pour out my heart to my mother. I knew she would stroke my hair till I fell asleep all the while reassuring me that everything would be okay. It didn´t matter that I was a thirty-two year old man. I wasn´t ashamed to admit that I just needed my mommy.
¨I know mom, and I appreciate it. I´ll see you tomorrow. I´m planning to stay, if that´s okay. Maybe we can talk later.¨ Even though it was my parents home, I never assumed it was okay to just spend the night.
¨Don´t be ridiculous honey, of course you´ll stay. I´ll even have Kate make you homemade hot chocolate with whip cream. How´s that sound sweetheart,¨ my mother knew just what I needed to feel better. That´s exactly why for me , she was the best mom on the planet.
We said our goodbyes and I love yous, promising to have some mother and son time before bed tomorrow night. Still a bit full from my late breakfast, I grabbed an apple from the kitchen on my way to my piano. Dropping the core in the wastebasket, I flexed my fingers contemplating on what I should play.
Automatically and without my consent my fingers ghosted effortlessly across the keys. Playing the familiar lullaby. Her lullaby. The one I´d composed for the shy, but beautiful fourteen year old girl that stole my heart nine years ago. Before I knew it
it was after five o´clock. I dragged my feet robotically to my room to change.
I´d just finish turning down the bed in the guest room when the intercom rang alerting me to Tanya´s arrival. There was a code needed to get up to my penthouse, because it opened directly into my foyer. I always thought it best to buzz them up rather than give out the pass code. I didn´t need any unhappy, unwelcome, scorned guests giving Mrs. Cope a heart attack.
I felt a wave of nausea roll over me as I waited for the elevator to arrive. I took comfort in knowing that this would be our last scene. As was the ritual, Tanya entered the penthouse without so much as a hello.
She proceeded to the guestroom to prepare to for me. I had certain guidelines my subs must adhere to, so inspection was a must before entering the playroom. If they failed to meet the agreed upon criteria, the scene would then be chastisement for the night.
I gave her the customary twenty minutes to prepare, before entering the room with the thin black leather play collar. Make no mistake about it she was beautiful. A bit stubborn and willful but beautiful nonetheless. I circled her like a vulture would it´s prey taking in the scene before me.
Her beauty was generic, almost to the point of verging on plastic. I knew she´d had some plastic surgery. She tried to lie in the beginning, that was before I told her I was a doctor. What is that they say, ´You can´t fool mother nature.´ I knew that my time with Tanya would not be long from the moment I met her. I was shocked I put up with her antics this long.
She was a hell cat in the playroom. Sensually responsive, willing to push and test her limits, and had exceptional orgasm control. All in all a true dominants dream. She would be the perfect submissive if all I wanted was a pet and not a mate.
Tanya and I would never work because, she was an evil and cold hearted person. On the inside she´s a hollow shell. On the outside she´s a colossal bitch, always looking down on others and making it a point to belittle someone the first chance she gets.
The second time I took her to the club I had to leave immediately to come home and punish her. She had an altercation with another sub, the worst part being she was ordered not to speak the entire night. So she completely defied my orders.
She claimed the other sub was being disrespectful by eye fucking me the entire time. My response to that was, had she been in full submode like she was ordered, she would´ve never known. That means face forward, eyes cast down. Needless to say, we´ve never been back. Well at least not together.
Once her inspection is complete, we head to the kitchen for dinner. I usually require my subs to cook- since Tanya can´t seem to even boil water with it turning into a disaster- I just let Mrs. Cope handle it. I heat up chicken casserole that Mrs. C prepared. Dinner is served in the formal dining room, that way she can´t join me unless invited.
Score: Cullen-1 … Tanya-0
After dinner I retreat to my room, turning on a bit of jazz I take the customary thirty minutes to get in the proper mind set. Having entered my headspace I head to the playroom. Placing my hand on the door, I pause to check my breathing. Once it´s even enough I enter the room and walk toward my impending doom. Nothing could´ve prepared me for the outcome.
I make my way to the cabinet to retrieve the thin cane, I plan on using for tonight´s punishment. I grab a large but plug and prepare with lube. I can since Tanya´s anxiety. Her breathing is a bit raged. She knows that she´s done wrong, but I´ve let that slip-up go on more that one occasion. I fiddle around for another minute or so, just for the hell of it.
Standing behind her I speak sternly, ¨ Tonight I´m going to show my naughty slut just what happens when she breaks the rules.¨ For a split second her breath hitches, but she´s quick to recover.
¨Do you know why your being punished?¨ I ask rhetorically not having given her permission to speak. ¨ Good girl. I´d hate for you to add to your already mounting transgressions. You may speak.¨
¨Your slut is sorry Sir,¨ she said nervously. Hmm... that´s interesting. Tanya is usually always so sure of herself.
I leaned down so I could whisper in her ear, ¨ what is it exactly, that my naughty little slut is sorry for?¨ My warm breath causing gooseflesh to rise on her skin.
¨ Your slut called you Master outside the confines of the playroom. Someone that was vanilla could have overheard me, breaking our confidentiality agreement.¨ She was wise to proceed, giving me the answers that I wanted. She knew well how I hated to pry out a confession for her wrongdoings.
¨And what my little disobedient slut is the punishment for breaking said rule.¨ I taunted menacingly.
¨Twenty-five licks and no orgasm Sir. Ten warm-up slaps with your hand and fifteen licks with the impact toy of your choosing.¨
Tanya was no stranger to punishment. Sometimes I questioned whether not she was a pain slut in denial. Most often after her punishments she was sopping wet. This only served to work in my favor, leaving her without release only worsened her punishment.
¨Enough of this chatter. The bench,¨ she clambered to her feet stumbling without assistance to straddle the whipping bench.
I hooked the leather cuffs... first her hands and then her feet. She was completely at my mercy. With out a word I pulled the lube from my pocket and squirted the warm liquid on two of my fingers. I slowly began to massage the tight little bud of her ass. I gently inserted one finger, pumping slowly in and out... in and out...
I could feel her muscles contracting and squeezing my digit as I finger fucked her ass. I knew she was becoming agitated as I continued to tease her. I had been balls deep in Tanya´s ass on numerous occasions. Hint.. hint.. large butt plug... So this one finger was like giving an elephant a chiclet for dinner... yeah not the answer...
I quickly added two more fingers and begin to fuck the shit out of her ass. She didn´t disappoint. Unable to control them any longer she began to moan in pleasure.
¨Silence!¨ I ordered. ¨This is not for your pleasure. Naughty sluts don´t deserve to cum.¨ With that said, I withdrew my fingers and pushed the plug in without warning. She bucked fiercely at the unexpected intrusion.
¨I will now start with ten warm-up slaps. I do not wanna hear one sound except for safe words. Am I understood.¨ I was beyond ready to be done with this. For some reason, it no longer felt right.
Having been ordered not to speak, she nodded her head in understanding. I raised my hand to administer the first of the ten warm-up slaps.
REDDDDDD... stop scene...
