First let me start by saying, ¨Thank you, thank you, thank you!¨ I can´t believe all the love this story is getting. You guys are the best! Thank you for all the reviews, story and author alerts. I´m blown away. I´m sorry I haven´t responded individually to all of them, but just know that they all be read. I thought that a new chapter would be better than a review response; but let me know if you would prefer I answer your reviews, let me know. The chapters can wait! Lol! Alright enough of my gabber let´s get on with it. Who safeworded? Hmmm... ? A million and one thanks to my wonderful betas: famaggiolo and Jdonovan09 ! Thanks girls, I could not do it without you!

DISCLAIMER: All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer and Summit. Absolutely no copywrite infringement intended! I do own the Eclipse DVD! I do not practice BDSM! Don´t try this at home! Consider yourself warned!


Breaking Up is Hard to Do...

EPOV

The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.

Carl Sandburg

I stepped out onto my balcony taking in the Seattle skyline; I needed a moment to breath in the fresh air. It was actually pleasantly warm out here tonight... rare for November in Seattle. The restlessness began to get the best of me, so I headed back inside toward my liquor cabinet.

My mind was a disjointed mess. My thoughts swarming around my head like a hive of angry bees. I reached for a bottle of Chivas Regal Royal Salute. Never mind that there was only 255 bottles of this fifty-year-old whiskey in existence, of which I owned five. I figured at $10,000 a bottle; it would do the trick to calm me down.

Swirling the amber liquid in my crystal tumbler, I sat down taking a few minutes to be alone with my thoughts. I had instructed Tanya to take thirty minutes to relax, clear her mind and then meet me in my study. I told her we needed to talk.

I could tell by the guarded look in her eyes that she knew that this was serious. I gave nothing away as I tended to her aftercare as usual. I bathed her with a forced tenderness that burned my skin wherever I touched her. It made me literally sick to my stomach to have to go through with tonight´s scene.

As the age-old liquid burned my throat on the way down, I replayed my breaking point in the playroom.

Flashback:

¨My... my... my... Look at how beautiful and red your ass is. My naughty little slut has taken her punishment well.¨ I ran my index finger through the folds of Tanya´s swollen pussy. Fuck! I couldn´t believe how wet she was. I brought my finger drenched her juices to her pouty lips.

¨Open!¨ I ordered placing my finger in her mouth so she could taste herself. I leaned in ghosting my lips over the outer shell of her ear.¨ Is that for me? Hmmm... is my naughty little slut dripping wet for me?¨ With each word I spoke I could feel the burning taste of bile rising in my throat.

I had instructed her not to speak, so I knew she wouldn´t respond, but still I continued to taunt her, by standing in front of her rubbing my now hardening cock! I could see her eyes glazing over with lust, so much so they were almost navy in color. A vast contrast to their usual sky blue! She wanted me... she wanted me bad!

¨Look at me!¨ My words broke her lustful trance and she slowly raised her eyes to mine. They were begging, down right pleading me to give her some type of reprieve. Lowering her eyes back to the bulge in my jeans, she licked her lips trying to convey to me that she wanted my dick.

I threw my head back and laughed evilly. Taunting! Teasing! Knowing I wouldn´t give her what she wanted. I popped the button on my jeans and slowly lowered my zipper. Easing my hand inside to stroke my cock!

¨I said, look at me Tanya! If you can´t follow orders I have no problem forcing you to.¨ I chose at that moment to overlook the whimper that escaped from her lips. I could see she was struggling to maintain control.

Looking into her sex crazed eyes in that moment is when the damn broke. Redddd... redddddd... stop the fucking scene... the voice inside my head continued to scream at me. I knew I couldn´t do this anymore. The annoying voice had been screaming the same thing at me since my hand landed the first warm-up, but I didn´t listen.

I was disgusted with myself!

There was never a doubt in my mind whether or not I could complete the scene. No! I´m responsible! I always take care of my subs. No... I was disgusted because my body betrayed me! The beauty of the punishment had my dick straining against the zipper of my jeans. I didn´t want to feel aroused by Tanya! I didn´t want to touch her and I didn´t want her to touch me, but I was a responsible Dom. I have never safeworded to end a scene and I refuse to start now. I would put my feelings aside and complete the scene.

Tonight... this... would be solely for a release.

Then let´s get this fucking over with shall we...

I made sure to not break eye contact as I reminded her of my disappointment in her actions from the previous day.

¨I was very disappointed in you yesterday Tanya. Not only did you break a very important rule, but you also put me and my reputation in jeopardy. Anyone could have overheard our conversation. You are NOT ignorant to the fact that my privacy is of the utmost importance!¨ If I didn´t know any better I would say I caught a glimpse of remorse on her face, but it was gone just as fast it appeared; which was just another red flag in our incompatibility.

Without removing my pants, I freed my now aching dick. ¨I have been very lenient with your mishaps in the past my naughty slut. And how do you repay my kindness? You do it by showing a blatant disregard for my rules!¨ I spoke in a low, sickly sweet voice, while I pumped my shaft in a slow and unhurried rhythm.

Switching on the butt plug nestled in Tanya's ass, I watched as her eyes rolled back and she bit her lip to keep her moans in, as she struggled to keep her orgasm at bay.

I watched her try to compose herself, squirming trying to gain some sort of purchase. When I saw that she was close, I immediately switched the plug off. She glared daggers at me, clearly not liking my little game.

Good to know... shall we play it all night... I´ve got time...

No we don´t! Now hurry the fuck up!

I was battling a war inside my head.

¨I suggest you remember who controls your pleasure. I find that look your giving me to be very disrespectful slut. You would be wise to remember who you belong to.¨ I inched my way closer to her mouth wrapping my hand in her ponytail and tugging forcefully. I kept the head of my engorged dick just out of her reach. I saw a single tear fall from her eye as she watched me swipe the drop of pre-cum that was glistening in the slit of my cock.

¨Tsk..tsk... tsk...¨ I clucked my tongue. ¨Naughty little slut´s don´t get to cum; nor do they get to please their Master´s either. When you DISRESPECT my rules, you disrespect ME. Watch me Tanya... watch me as take my pleasure by my own hands. No reason for me to suffer. I. DID. NOT. DO. ANYTHING. WRONG.¨ I emphasized each word in time with the pumping of my hand.

¨You better not fucking cum slut... ungh... fuck... ungh... yes...¨ I was getting close, in my minds eye I was with Isabella and the scene in the playroom was far different from the one before me.

I envisioned handcuffing her to my cross and taking her from behind. I began to pump harder. In that moment I was lost in my own delicious fantasy. The creamy translucent skin of her back glistened with a light sheen of sweat. Her voice rang out in my head, ¨Master fuck... harder Master... pleaaaaase... fuck your girl harder.¨ I could hear her beg and there was no sound more beautiful to my ears, than her pleading... begging for my cock.

Right then that´s what made me loose it. I fell off of a beautiful and bliss filled cliff. In order not to scream Isabella´s name, I bit down hard on my lip, till the coppery taste of my blood was on my tongue. I came so hard it buckled my knees. My breath was ragged. I was becoming lighted head from the lack of oxygen.

Fuck! I need to hit the gym...

I found the strength - just barely - to hit the off switch on the remote of the butt plug. Tanya´s breath was coming just as ragged, having exerted just as much energy not to orgasm.

I stood on shaky legs and collected some Kleenex to clean my spunk up off of the floor. I then released Tanya´s arms and legs, easing the plug out. She let out a little sigh of relief.

¨Scene over: You did well. Can you stand,¨ I asked keeping my hand on the small her back to make sure she was steady. I passed her a bottle of Gatorade from the tiny fridge and left the playroom to run her bath.

I returned moments later and carried her over to the sub´s bathroom to administer her aftercare. The entire time it felt so wrong. I was with Tanya, but all the while wishing it was Isabella.

I envisioned how I would care for delicate skin, treating it like the soft petals of a rose. Then I would invite her to my bed and hold her securely in my arms while she dreamed the night away.

By the time I finished checking Tanya for bruising and massaging arnica cream into the pink and tender flesh of her backside, I could hardly maintain my control.

I swiftly left the room throwing instructions over my shoulder for her to meet me in my study in half an hour. I barely made it to my bathroom before I was heaving the contents of my stomach violently into the toilet. I took a quick shower trying to rid myself of the dirty feeling.

Got any bleach?

End Flashback:

The sound of Tanya´s footsteps brought me back to the present. Without a word I nodded toward my study indicating that she should go in. Draining the last of my whiskey, I relished in the smooth burn as it went down.

At the signing of each of my contracts both Dominate and submissive choose a special word apart from the standard red, yellow, and green. This word is extremely important because it is used as a relationship ender. I decided to cut to the chase, replace my ´Mangina´ with my huge dick and balls and end this thing.

Looking at the time it was still pretty early, so I felt confident that it would be okay to send Tanya home; I just didn´t feel right having her sleep down the hall from me in the sub´s room. It would be too awkward, not to mention I wouldn´t get much sleep for fear that she´d try to off me the moment I closed my eyes.

Hey... I´m no fool...

You could a fooled me...

Squaring my shoulders, taking a deep breath I head into the study. I make my way behind my desk, and as I sit down I look at the contract waiting to be shredded. Oddly I feel lighter, like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.

Raising my head, I wait for Tanya to look me in the eye so I can say the last thing she´s expecting to hear.

Our eyes make contact. I clear my throat to speak... ¨Swan.¨ With that I lean over the arm of my chair and slide the contract into the shredder. The sound of the metal teeth grinding away at the papers feels like it´s amplified - it´s so loud to my ears.

You could hear a rat pissing on cotton it got so quiet in the room. I watch as several emotions play across her face confusion... understanding... shock... denial... rage. If looks could kill, I´d be a dead man. She sat there for what seemed like hours, just staring at me.

My cell phone ringing broke the silent standoff we were having. I looked down at the caller ID. It was my father. I held up one finger indicating that I needed to take this.

¨Dad, is something wrong?¨ It wasn´t like him to call at this time of night if it wasn´t an emergency.

¨Edward, son, I´m sorry to bother you so late, but our patient from Thursday is having serious complications. Can you meet me at the hospital please?¨ Man, this must be serious; one of the perks of Carlisle´s position was he didn´t work nights or weekends.

¨Umm... sure dad, I´m just wrapping up a business meeting. See if you can get her stabilized and I´ll be there in half an hour.¨ I was silently thanking whatever higher power saw fit to intervene on my behalf tonight. I disconnected the call after assuring him that I´d be on my way as soon as possible.

I return my attention to Tanya, feeling my patience wearing thin. I just want to be done with this.

You and me both!

¨Sorry about that,¨ I apologize for the interruption hoping to break the silence.

¨Edward... what are you doing? Why did you say that word to me?¨ God I could already tell she was going to be trouble. Thank goodness I´m leaving for Switzerland in five weeks. I thought about telling her, but then maybe it´s better if I just disappear.

Exasperated, I began tugging at my hair, ¨Tanya...¨ I sighed. ¨You know why I said it. It´s over. We´re just not compatible. This,¨ I waved my hand between the two of us, ¨isn´t working for me anymore.¨ I was grasping at straws here.

I was rambling on about any and every excuse I could think of. Just short of saying - I would never love her or want a real relationship - I didn´t know what else to do. How in the fuck did I not see this coming?

¨You can´t be serious,¨ she said with an air of smugness, ¨I was there with you in the playroom tonight. You came harder than you ever have. And I didn´t even have to touch you.¨ The self-satisfied smirk on her face told me that she was pretty proud of herself. I wonder what she would think if I told her that I was thinking about another woman or that the very thought of her touching me made me want to vomit.

No Edward... take the high road... your better than that.

Look who´s fucking talking?

Since when did my conscience grow a conscience?

I shook my head slightly because once again, my conscience with its big ass mouth makes a valid point. Pinching the bridge of my nose and taking a moment to Woosa, I attempt to take a different approach.

¨Look Tanya your a beautiful woman and one hell of a sub, if you want I can talk to some people at the club... help you find a new Dom. I can´t do it anymore. It just wouldn´t be fair to you.¨ I was pleading her with my eyes to just let this go.

Like it´s really going to be that easy.

Would you shut up?

Just sayin´.

¨I won´t do it. I don´t WANT another Dom! You can´t just end our agreement. I won´t let you Edward,¨ she looked at me with narrowed eyes, as if that would intimidate me into changing my mind.

Pfft... Not fucking happening...

That´s right Cullen hold on to your man-card!

I was getting pissed. My jaw was clenched tight, and my teeth were on the verge of shattering. I could feel that little vein in my forehead pulsing rapidly. No amount of fucking ´Woosaing´ was controlling this.

¨First of all, I happen to be a grown ass man and you don´t HAVE a say in what I choose to do with my life. Second, I believe ICAN,and I just DID end our agreement.¨ I was fighting to reign in my temper. Who the fuck did she think she was talking to?

Pulling at my hair like a madman, I again make an attempt to calm myself before speaking again.

¨Tanya, I need to get changed so I can go as you just overheard. I´ve gotta get to the hospital. I don´t time to continue this, this back and forth one sided conversation.¨ I said pulling my desk drawer open and removing a file.

¨Edward, I don´t care what you say, for your information I´m not going anywhere: You´re my Dom and I´m your sub. End of fucking story,¨ crossing her arms she harrumphed and sat back grinning in her seat.

Oh no the fuck she didn´t just harrumph at me... who the fuck does that shit... who the fuck does this chick think she is...

That did it. No more Mr. Fucking nice guy. She was getting the fuck out of my house and out of my life... sooner than right now and faster than fucking immediately.

¨Let´s not get it twisted Tanya. I AMa Dom you WERE my sub. What we had was a mutual agreement between two consenting adults. Notice I said two,¨ I held up two fingers emphasizing my point. ¨Sorry to inform you but I am no longer agreeing or consenting to this little arrangement: That my dear is the END of the FUCKING story.¨ I spoke through gritted teeth.

¨Do you hear that?¨ I asked calmly, cupping my hand to my ear and straining my neck to listen.

¨Hear what? Edward, I don´t hear anything,¨ she looked at me with no clue as to what I was talking about.

I let out a hearty humorless chuckle. ¨The music; it´s the fucking fat lady singing. Stick a fork in it Tanya, cause we´re done.¨ I slid my chair back rising to my feet prepared to leave.

¨Fuck you Edward Cullen! You won´t get away with this. I swear I´ll make you pay,¨ her body was trembling with her barely concealed rage.

Ignoring her threats, I picked up the phone. I dialed the number to the lobby.

¨Good evening Mr. Cullen, how may I help you Sir?¨ Seth´s pleasant voice rang through the phone.

¨Good evening Seth, I have get to the hospital and I´m in a bit of a hurry, could you come up and see that my guest gets safely to her car, please.¨ I smirked as I watched steam literally coming from her ears.

Take that bitch... Cullen-2... Tanya-0

I internally gave myself a well-deserved high-five.

After hanging up the phone, I reached into the file to retrieve a copy of the Non Disclosure Agreement that Tanya signed. I was no fool. I knew that I had to protect my ass at all cost. Even though Breaking Dawn had the strictest of confidentiality agreements signed by all of its members, I could never be to careful.

The D/s contract may not be a legal and binding document, but the NDA was iron clad. Tanya would rue the day she ever met me if she decided to make trouble. Jasper did one hell of a job to make sure that I was protected.

¨Here you go Tanya, a little parting gift of sorts,¨ I smirked as I handed her the copy of the NDA. ¨I would take the time to read this carefully before you go around issuing threats. I would hate to have them come back to bite you in the ass.¨ I watched her eyes narrow, as she made no move to take the paper from my extended hand.

¨Eddie, that piece of paper means nothing to me. We are not over.¨ Her voice broke on the last word. I could see her resolve breaking. It was finally beginning to sink in that I was serious.

¨How many times do I have to tell you, don´t fucking call me that,¨ I all but yelled as she cowered slightly at my close proximity.

I left her words and my threats unanswered and hanging in the air as I crossed the hall to retrieve her things. I knew Seth would be here soon and was hoping she would go without a scene. I turned and was shocked to briefly see the hurt clearly visible in Tanya´s eyes. I blinked and the mask was back in place. The ice queen was ready for battle.

I was almost feeling sorry for her... almost!

Crazy bitch!

The dinging of the elevators alerted me to Seth´s arrival. He respectfully remained in the shadows of the foyer waiting patiently. I handed Tanya her things and started to speak before she cut me off.

¨Tanya,¨ she held up her hand to silence me.

¨No Edward, I´ll go, for now, but this is not over by a long shot. ¨Without another word, she flipped her blonde locks over her shoulder and stumped toward the elevator ignoring Seth´s offer of assistance.

I slumped into a nearby chair, taking a moment to think about what just happened. I would definitely need to call Jazz tomorrow. I didn´t trust Tanya any farther than I could throw her. Thank God she didn´t have access to my home. Mrs. Cope would be safe from the fallout of my bad judgement.

I quickly threw on a pair of scrubs; since it was my off day there was no need for a suit. The only good thing to come out of the nasty confrontation with Tanya was; it gave me time to sober up. Not that I was drunk to begin with, but I take my job seriously and wouldn´t dream of touching a drop of alcohol knowing I had to work. I regard the lives of my young patients very seriously. I headed to the parking garage with a cheerful gait. I was finally free.

I hope!

TPOV

As I watch Edward´s car drive away, the reality of what just happened hit me like a ton of bricks.

He´s everything to me.

I´ve given up everything to be with him!

I could barely see through the tears flooding my eyes as I drove home. I opened the door to my condo and wanted to scream.

I shouldn´t be here.

I should be with Edward.

In Edward´s home… in his bed!

Needing something stronger, I bypassed the red wine on the counter and went straight for the tequila. Not bothering with a glass, I pour the strong clear liquid straight down my awaiting throat. Wishing the burn of the alcohol could erase the images of Edward´s face as he all but threw me out of his house tonight.

I began to pace the length of my small condo, like a caged wild animal. I couldn´t believe this was happening. At first, I was sure he was just playing hard to get. It seemed like I was beginning to wear him down.

I was... I know I was.

I bet this is all Alice´s fault.

Bitch!

There was no secret how much she hated me. And let me tell you the feeling was mutual. She thought she was so fucking perfect. Prancing around the club like she owned the fucking place. I bet she´s the reason that he´s never introduced me to his parents. Always cutting our time short to be with them.

Fucking superior Cullen´s!

Money! It always comes down to how much fucking money you have. Thank God I still have the money in the account he set up, but that would be running out soon. It was costing me a small fortune to member of that fucking club. I needed my plan to work! Really fucking fast.

I played along like I was part of their little rich world, but nothing could be farther from the truth. I was from a little piss poor town called Denali in no-fucking-where Alaska. I wasn´t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Far from it actually! My mother is a whore and my father is a drunk. At least that´s what they were the last time I saw them.

Flashback:

By the time I was fifteen, every one of the male species in Denali wanted me. I was beautiful. Sky blue eyes, long strawberry blonde hair, with a body that rivaled any supermodel! It was then that I learned that in order to get what I want, I had to use whatever assets I had. I wasn´t what you would call smart... well not in the book sense. I was very clever when it came to the game of survival. What can I say, I knew how to run a good game!

I got my first and only job baby-sitting for Mr. and Mrs. Brandon one of the wealthier families around town. Saving every penny I made. I was determined to get out of there and never look back. Soon I noticed that the man of the house started eying me a bit strange. At first it would creep me out, but later I would realize that it would work to my advantage.

Even though I had the attention from a fair share of boys my age, I wasn´t what you would call a whore. No... a tease maybe... but not a whore. I only let things go so far. I had dreams... dreams of leaving this god-forsaken hellhole. I also dreamed of finding a rich man that would take care of me.

Fuck if I didn´t deserve it.

Soon I grew tired of the boys my age. They could do nothing for me. I was filling out more and it was getting harder to fight off Mr. Brandon´s advances. I needed this job if I wanted to get out. I once again used this to my advantage. He lavished me with expensive clothes and money. I gave him the best blowjobs he could ever imagine. His wife and kids adored me. I was practically part of the family now.

No one being the wiser...

The summer before my seventeenth birthday everything changed. I´d been promising Mr. Brandon I´d let him take my virginity. I told him I wanted to wait until my birthday. It was the only excuse I could think of the keep him off of me. After all, I needed the money if I was going to make it on my own.

I thought I lost my chance when Mr. Brandon´s father got sick and the family was planning on moving to California to be closer to him. I had a panic attack when Mrs. Brandon told me. The last thing I remembered before everything went black was that - I had to convince them to take me with them.

It was my only way out...

I woke up later in what had become known as my bedroom with a cold washcloth on my forehead. Initially I was a bit disoriented, but as I slowly began putting the pieces together I broke down in tears. I knew what I was about to do was wrong, but I had learned a long time ago... if I didn´t put me first... no one else would either.

I begged Mr. and Mrs. Brandon to take me with them. They already knew I didn´t have a very stable home life, so it wasn´t really that hard. Mrs. Brandon was really the mother I wish I always had, but it was to late for that. I had no room in my life for mothers... friends... or anyone else for that matter.

I would use anything or anyone to get what I wanted.

The Brandon´s came with me to my house to speak with my parents who could give less than a shit about what happened to me. That night I walked out of that dingy little house with one regret, leaving my sister Irina behind, but not even for her would I change my mind. She would have to find her own way out. That night Tanya Mallory died and Tanya Denali was born. I swore that if I had any say about it no one would ever learn about my past.

Cold hearted bitch move... right...

Never said I wasn´t a bitch... and who needs a heart anyway!

A year and a half later I graduated from the best prep school in Beverly Hills and was living on my own. Mrs. Brandon began to get suspicious of me, so we thought it best if I moved out.

For the gift of my virginity and the job as his personal mistress; Mr. Brandon rewarded me with a bank account full of money, a brand new Mercedes Benz convertible, a set of new tits, and a beach front condo. I was smart enough to have him put it all in my name. Never know what can happen... I would never want for anything again.

I spent my days shopping with one of my many credit cards and scouting out my next rich prospect. My nights were spent faking orgasms with my worst nightmare and trying my best not to gag.

It was a fucked up life... but it paid well.

Haley, their middle child suffered from epilepsy. It seems that the older she got the worse the seizures would get. Despite my fucked up situation I was really close to the children. I would go, as far as to say, they were the only friends that I had. I trusted no one enough to let him or her in.

I was visiting Haley on one of her many hospital stays and that´s when I saw him. The man of my dreams! I swear I felt my frozen heart melt. I opened the door to her private room to the most beautiful man I´d ever seen.

Initially, I was granted a view of the young Dr.´s profile from the side. What a profile it was. He had the strongest, most lick-able jaw line I´d ever seen. Almost as if it was chiseled to perfection! A head full of sexy bronze hair, the color alone had me wetting my panties. Just when I thought I´d seen it all, his eyes met mine and that was it.

For the first time in my life... I was in love. As his beautiful emerald green eyes locked with my blue ones; I knew then - in that very moment - I would do whatever it took to make him mine.

That day I left the hospital on a mission. I was going to find out every single detail I could about a certain: Dr. Edward Cullen. I spent the next year following and finding out everything I could about Edward. I even went as far as hiring a private investigator to dig deeper into his life. After all I had plenty of money now. I had to be sure that when I gave up my life here, I would be rewarded with something better.

In all the Internet research I´d done, there was never a woman in the picture. Well aside from his mother and strange looking sister. I was intrigued and worried, all at the same time. Why would a Greek God like Edward not have a significant other... please God don´t let him be gay. It wasn´t until the private eye I hired informed me of his eclectic tastes in all things sexual.

Hmmmm... I think I may be on to something.

Thankfully, Mr. Brandon had thought it best to legally change my name, giving me a new identity and a fabricated past. That along with his money was enough to get me a membership into the exclusive BDSM private club Breaking Dawn. I had no clue about the BDSM lifestyle; but thanks to my assets, I was accepted as a sub in training.

In the beginning, I would fly to Seattle every weekend; it was worth it just to get a glimpse of his beautiful face. Even if it was from a far! It wasn´t until I came home after one of my many trips to an irate Mr. Brandon, telling me that I had to quit.

I lied to the club manager; telling him I was filming a movie in Los Angeles, thankfully, he fixed it were I could discreetly continue my training here. Word was that Edward was a very much in demand Dom, and he didn´t like training or novice subs. If I wanted to catch his eye, I would have to know my shit.

Two years... I went through two more years of fucking suffering. Mr. Brandon was diagnosed with prostate cancer and became extremely possessive. I wasn´t allowed to leave the state. Hell, I was barely able to leave my fucking condo. He wanted to know where I was and whom I was with all the damn time. It wasn´t easy but I managed to still keep training, secretly, as a sub.

I was beginning to lose hope, a hope that I would ever get to see Edward again. I´d managed to keep a few contacts in Seattle, so I was aware that Edward had been with a submissive named Lauren for the past year and a half. I nearly lost my shit at this news. Time was running. I had to act fast.

And that´s precisely what I did.

As my driver pulled away from the cemetery, we headed to LAX. I let out a breath it seems I´ve been holding for the last three and a half years. Finally, I would have everything that I worked so hard for. Settling into the comfy leather seat in the first class cabin, I sipped my wine like a giddy teenager. I was headed to my new life in Seattle as Mrs. Edward Cullen.

End Flashback:

Fuck! I hate my life!

¨Arghhhh!¨ I scream as the crystal vase on my bar goes flying across the room. Thinking about the events of the last couple of hours has me livid.

I did not suffer through my fucked up life with Mr. Brandon for nothing. I didn´t help him end his miserable fucking life, to end up without Edward.

No!

Everything!

Everything I did, I did so we could be together.

We were meant to be together.

The glass shards embedded in the bottom of my feet barely register pain, as I go to the one thing that can comfort me when Edward and I are fighting.

He´ll come back. He always comes back.

I´ll take care of Alice just like I took care of Mr. Brandon. I´ll take care of them all. Anyone who dares to come between me and my Edward!

As I pull the beautiful snow-white wedding gown from the back of my closet. I sink to the floor clutching it to my chest, rocking back and forth slowly.

I repeat my mantra: He´ll come back... He always comes back...

EPOV

I pulled into the driveway of my parents Bainbridge Island home, with a mixture of trepidation and relief. Trepidation - I have to inform them of my upcoming trip and absence during the holidays. Relief - being able to spend some alone time with my mother. It´s times like these I really miss our close relationship.

Not wanting to bother with the valet service, I pulled the R8 into my familiar spot in the garage. Taking a deep calming breath, I prepare myself to face the crowd of family, close friends, and acquaintances that my parents have invited this evening.

Esme´s a bit of a socialite and every year starting with the first week in November throughout New Year´s is host to quite a few cocktail and dinner parties. This one just being the first of many!

Some things I won´t miss.

My parents´s home was one to envy. To tell you the truth, I´d want one just like it... if I had someone to share it with. It was a beautiful colonial style home made of red brick. The typical all American Dream home complete with the large white columns and white shutters.

There where six bedrooms, six and a half bathrooms, four fireplaces, a wine cellar with some of the rarest vintages, and an Olympic Mountain view I would kill to wake to every morning. There home was just short of amazing, like something out of a magazine.

Esme - owner and CEO of Cullen Architecture & Interior Designs Inc. was gracious enough to remodel the barn out back to house our various cars. The place where the Cullen boys kept their toys, as she jokingly likes to say. Okay, maybe it was more so a mansion rather than a house. To an outsider it would seem intimidating. To me it´s been just home.

I slipped in through the kitchen. I couldn´t help but smile as I took in the sight that greeted me, my beautiful mother talking to one of the catering staff. I took a moment to silently drink her in. She was absolutely radiant. At 52 years old her body was extremely fit and healthy. She was the epitome of youth and beauty.

Her caramel colored hair, which only showed the slightest signs of grey, was pulled up into and immaculate twist. Her youthful body was sheathed in a green sequined floor length gown, which served to bring out the beauty of her eyes. Our eyes. I couldn`t help the crooked smile that claimed my face, as I thought back to the time I proposed to her.

Flashback:

I was 8 years old and I had been saving my allowance, birthday, banner roll, Christmas and any other money I was given. I was going to buy my mother a ring and ask her to marry me. I had been consulting with my father about helping me do something for my special girl, but I was shy and unwilling to share with him just who she was. Mom always made time for us as a group and individually.

I waited until it was my turn to have my special date - as she had dubbed them - with my mother. When she asked where I wanted to go I said, ¨McDonald´s,¨ but we had to wear our dress up clothes. Never one to disappoint, my mother wore a simple, but elegant navy wrap dress and I wore my navy blue suit... even attempting to tame my unruly mane. Lost cause. I remember everyone telling us what a handsome couple we made.

I was the perfect gentleman, pulling out chairs opening doors, even requesting extra ketchup on her cheeseburger, just the way she liked it. I even paid for our meal. Throughout our entire lunch I kept nervously checking to make sure her surprise was still tucked away safely in my pocket. Kate the housekeeper´s husband Garrett who was also our grounds keeper took me into the city to our family´s jeweler. I was nervous. I was really hoping she would like it.

I began to sweat a little as we shared a caramel sundae. If mom noticed anything out of the ordinary she never said a word. I cleared my throat to get her attention and fell to one knee. I timidly pulled the little velvet box from my pocket.

With all the courage I could muster I said, ¨Mommy, I love you with all my heart. Will you be my girl and marry me when I turn 9?¨ The look on her face was priceless as she took in the thin gold band with a tiny diamond in the center. Tears of love and adoration spilled from her green eyes. My eyes.

¨Oh Edward,¨ she cried. ¨I would love to be your girl and marry you, but sweetie, I can´t. What would we do with your father?¨ Funny that my mom was the first girl to ever break my heart!

End Flashback:

A throat clearing brought me back from my trip down memory lane. ¨Are you going to stand there daydreaming all night or are you going to come and give your mother a hug?¨ Esme teased extending her arms out to me.

I pushed off the doorframe, crossing the room in three long strides and melted into the embrace of my mother. God there´s no place like home.

¨Hi,¨ I breathed in the familiar honey and lilac scent that was my mother.

¨Hi yourself,¨ she teased, pulling back to look me in the eye. ¨Where were you just now?¨ She questioned with a smile.

¨I was just reminiscing,¨ I responded vaguely.

¨Oh, and what pray tell were you reminiscing about, that put that faraway look in your eyes.¨ Eyeing me with a raised eyebrow, daring me to lie.

¨Umm...¨ I responded. ¨I was remembering when you turned down my proposal, because you were already marriedto dad.¨ I said sheepishly. Blushing at remembering the embarrassing and painful time.

¨And you still can´t have her... she´s still mine.¨ My father joked, appearing out of nowhere and wrapping a possessive arm around my mother´s waist.

¨After all these years, are you still after my wife? How many times have I told you son... it isn´t going to happen.¨ Carlisle planted a sweet but chaste kiss on my mother´s cheek. After 33 years of marriage, they still acted like newlyweds.

I turned my head away as the ache in my chest begin to pulsate. My dad startled me by clapping me on the back.

¨Son, thanks for coming last night. I just don´t understand why we can´t get her seizures under control,¨ he pondered. ¨Anyway, I really appreciate it.¨ Dad said, looking every bit as youthful as mom in a tan colored tailored suit. Having Alice in the family was definitely a perk.

¨No problem dad! Trust me you saved me from a disastrous meeting, so I owe you the thanks actually.¨ I shuddered, remembering that shit storm with Tanya.

Looping her arm in mine, my mother led me out into the crowded family room. Whispering so my dad could still hear, ¨don´t worry son, I still have the ring.¨ With that she winked at me and led us into the crowd. Leaving my father chuckling behind us.

The house was absolutely amazing. Esme had outdone herself as usual. There was an enormous Christmas tree in the corner next to my piano. It was immaculately decorated in red and gold ornaments. There was a beautiful gold and red star topping the elegant tree. I took a moment to take in the twinkling lights, away from the crowd in the family room.

I turned to see my brother bounding towards my direction. Well, I actually heard him before I saw him. Trust me he was something to see. I smiled to myself. Even though we have our individual lives, my siblings and I are very close.

Emmett was wearing a grey pinstriped pants and vest combination, with a light purple shirt and matching tie. Built like the incredible hulk, all his dress clothes had to be tailor made, something I always teased him about as a child. I even had him convinced that he was the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk, when we were little. He was such an easy target.

¨Eddie, what the fuck up dude?¨ Emmett boomed loudly, dimples on full display.

¨Emmett, what have I told you about calling me that,¨ he was such a jackass sometimes.

¨Oooo... Eddie is that your scary voice,¨ he asked clearly not phased by my words.

¨What the fuck ever! How´d it go with the ice bitch? Did you dump her?¨

¨Never one to beat around the bush, eh Em,¨ I smirked at Emmett´s boldness. Esme would have a fit if she heard him.

¨You know me man, why beat around the bush; when you can get straight to fucking point. Waste of words I say,¨ he grinned looking more like Carlisle in that moment.

Just then Emmett startled and tensed up. The look of a ´deer caught in headlights´ was on his face. I studied him momentarily, wondering what could be wrong with the big oaf. I chuckled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rosalie approaching us, with a serious expression on her face. I know that look. Hmm... looks like Emmy bear is on modified behavior.

I leaned in so only Em could hear, ¨looks like somebody´s being a bad pet.¨ I couldn´t the help all out laughter that escaped my lips. From the light sheen of sweat on Em´s forehead, I´d say he was wearing some kind of remote control cock ring or a butt plug. It´s moments like this I lived for. I was even tempted to borrow the remote, just for shits and giggles.

¨Good evening Ms. Hale, your looking beautiful as usual.¨ I greeted Rose with a kiss on the cheek. She really was a stunning young woman. Wearing a strapless red bubble dress, accented with a black satin ribbon tied around her waist. Her beautiful blonde ringlets cascading down her right shoulder. A pair of the sexiest black fuck me pumps completed her ensemble.

Like I said... stunning!

¨Hello Edward,¨ she greeted warmly, ¨it´s so good to see you.¨

¨You too Rose.¨ Just as I was about to ask for Jazz and my favorite little pixie, tiny arms wrapped my waist in a vice grip from behind.

¨Edward... ¨ she squealed, ¨you look great. I´m so glad your here.¨

¨Hey little pixie, how are you?¨ I asked, as I literally had to peel her from my body. She was looking beautiful in a black halter dress with a ruffled skirt, decorated with gold metallic petals. Her hair was a bit longer, but done in it´s usual spiky do.

Punching me playfully in the arm, ¨watch it big bro. I know karate,¨ she narrowed her eyes trying to look menacing, but failing miserably.

I kissed her on the cheek and conceded, ¨then in that case, I´ll be sure to be afraid.¨ I said with mock terror. I reached over with my free arm to give Jasper a awkward one armed man hug.

¨Cullen, how´s it going?¨ Jazz´s statement was full of innuendo and I knew exactly what he was referring to.

¨Gone man. Thank God,¨ I responded accepting my proffered drink from his hand. ¨Let´s just say things got a bit ugly. I had to pull out the NDA. It is iron clad, isn´t it bro?¨ It came out as a question rather than a statement.

¨No worries E, she´ll regret the day she was born if she tries anything.¨ Jasper reassured me. ¨Keep me posted, if I need to I´ll file a restraining order,¨ he offered.

¨Thanks man, I´ll let you know. So far, she´s just been blowing up my cell non-stop today. Nothing I can´t handle.¨ I really didn´t think a restraining order was necessary, but I trusted Jazz.

¨You can never be too careful. I´ve really got a bad vibe about this chick. Actually, I would recommend you get another cell, keep the old one for evidence,¨ he continued on at my puzzled look. ¨Text messages and harassing voice mails will work in your favor.¨ I guess that did make sense. Jazz really knows his shit. And it didn´t hurt that there were a few prominent members of the club in the judicial system

Bring it on Denali!

The evening flowed on pretty uneventfully. I mingled about the house greeting old friends and even people I didn´t know. Well, until my mother decided to play cupid. Thank God Alice and Rose were always on hand to save me from disaster.

Whitley was the daughter of one of mom´s clients and close friends Blaire Morgan. She was nice enough, but I doubt she´d enjoy me tying her to my cross and turning her pert little ass a warm shade of pink.

Nah... Better not!

Sitting next to Rose and Emmett at the dinner table proved to be quite entertaining. Normally, I find it repulsive to be privy to the sex lives of my siblings, but watching Emmett squirm in his chair all night... priceless. Turns out, Rose was testing out a new toy on him tonight. I love the way she keeps that fucker in line.

God I love Rose... She´s my fucking hero.

As the night grew on, the crowds begin to fade as one by one the guests begin to say their farewells and goodnights. I was nursing a glass of Crown and coke, when I overheard Alice and Rosalie discussing what I assumed to be Isabella´s wedding plans.

Not wanting to be tormented any further, I slipped out the patio door and into the backyard. The peaceful tranquility of the sound consuming my thoughts, I was so lost in my own world, that I didn´t hear when my mother approached, ¨It´s peaceful, isn´t it?¨ She asked, slipping her tiny arms around my waist, and laying her head on my shoulder.

¨Mmhmm...¨ was all I could respond.

Esme let out a pensive sigh, ¨all the guests have gone. Your brother and sister said to tell you goodnight. They didn´t want to disturb you. Why don´t we head inside and get Kate to get the hot chocolate ready. Shall we?¨ Giving me a sideways glance she beckoned towards the house.

¨Can´t get anything past you, huh,¨ I joked kissing the top of her head.

¨No,¨ she slapped me playfully. ¨Now let´s go. I want to know who´s put that sad look in my sweet boy´s eyes. ¨ I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and we headed inside the house.

¨Sweetheart why don´t you go up and get ready for bed. I´ll be up in a minute.¨ Esme headed towards her bedroom. ¨Oh, by the way, your pajamas are on the bed.¨

¨Mom...¨ I whined.

¨Edward Anthony... don´t you mom me... it´s not that often I get to pamper you. Now go,¨ she shooed me up the stairs, leaving no room for another word.

¨Yes ma´am,¨ I said sarcastically as I ascended the staircase to the second floor. It didn´t surprise me that Alice and Emmett were gone. They knew I needed this time to talk to Esme, and were gracious enough to give us little space. I´ll have to thank them both tomorrow at brunch.

As I settled into my comfortable bed, I contemplated just what exactly I would tell my mother. I knew if I told her the truth about my feelings for Isabella she would never judge me. I just didn´t know if I could, it would be giving up something that had been only mine for so long, it didn´t feel right to share.

Once again lost in my thoughts, I didn´t hear my mother come in. Setting the tray of hot chocolate on the coffee table she sat down on the small loveseat, patting the cushion for me to join her. I sat down with a thud, feeling as if the wind had gone from my sails.

Sipping on the delicious hot liquid, Esme eyes me cautiously. Something about a mother´s stare, it just creeps me out.

She´s just sitting there.

Waiting.

Patiently.

Not saying a word.

Fuck! You win mom!

¨Okay... okay... I give, I´ll tell you anything you wanna know. Just stop staring at me like that.¨ I hold up both my hands in a show of surrender.

Chuckling softly, ¨your so easy... you didn´t even last five minutes,¨ she teased me playfully.

¨Seriously Edward, darling I´m worried about you. You seem to be slipping farther and farther away.¨ Esme pleaded caressing my cheek gently. I leaned into her hand relishing in the comfort that her touch was giving me.

I ran man hands through my hair nervously, ¨where to begin mom... it´s just all gotten out of hand.¨ I confessed. ¨My life once full of order and something I could control, now... now... I have no clue as to whether I´m coming or going.¨

I walked over to the window looking out into the darkness, not want my mother to witness the anguish clearly visible on my face.

¨Edward...¨ she waited for me to look at her, ¨tell me about her.¨ It wasn´t a question, because she knew it was about her. The only other woman, to ever steal my heart, besides my mother!

Walking over to the bed, Esme pulled back the comforter for me to climb in. Tucking me in like she did when I was a small boy, she placed one of the many throw pillows in her lap. Sitting with her back against the headboard, with my head in her lap, she began to slowly stroke my hair.

How is that she always knows exactly what I need.

¨Are you comfortable darling?¨

¨Yes ma´am,¨ I reply in a voice so small, I didn´t even recognize it as my own.

¨Now tell me baby, what´s got you so upset.¨

¨She´s getting married mom,¨ I blurted out. ¨I´ll never have a chance to be with her now.¨

Esme was quiet for a moment, no doubt digesting my words.

¨I was just getting up the nerve to talk to her, and now it´s too late.¨ My eyes began to sting with the pain of my unshed tears.

¨Edward, who is this girl, that you´ve spent all these years loving?¨ Esme said pensively, when she finally spoke.

¨It´s not important now mom, she´s in love with someone else.¨ The words burned my mouth as the left my lips.

¨Why have you never said anything? All these years, what has kept you two apart?¨ She asked with a hint of something I couldn´t place in her voice.

Without thinking I blurted out the truth, ¨she´s younger than me. Quite a bit, actually.¨ I fully expected my mother to rip me a new one, from the sheer absurdity of my confession.

I never in a million years expected her to say, ¨Edward if you love her, age shouldn´t matter.¨ Raising my head to look her in the eye, her stare was unwavering.

Why had I not confided in her sooner?

Cause your an idiot!

Thanks.

Anytime.

Lifting my chin to meet her eyes again, ¨Edward, sometimes things are not what they seem, so promise me that you won´t give up on her just yet. I have always told you that you two were meant to be together. Please just think about it. Promise me you´ll give her a little more time.¨ If I didn´t know any better, I would say that my mother new that I was talking about Isabella.

In your dreams Cullen!

Shut up!

Whoa... touchy... much...

Grrrrr...

Fine... I´m shutting it.

¨Mom, what do mean give her more time? I told you she´s getting married. It´s too late!¨ I spoke a bit more sternly than I should have; after all she was just trying to help. The thought caused my hidden tears to once again silently fall.

Breathing heavily, Esme rose from the bed. Placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, she tucked me in securely just like she did when I was a kid - instead of a thirty-two year old man. Running the soft pad of her thumb under my eye, she wiped away the evidence of my silent tears. She straightened her back and turned to leave stopping in the doorway.

¨Truthfully Edward, it´s not my story to tell, but I can tell you this - everything is not as it seems. If you just give it a little more time, you´ll get your chance. I promise. Goodnight my sweet boy, I love you.¨ With that one final cryptic message, my mother shut my door softly and headed to bed.

When sleep finally overtook my body, I dreamed of chocolate brown eyes and second chances. Could there be any merit to Esme´s words, and if so, what was I planning to do about it?

Esme´s POV

As I headed downstairs to my bedroom, I couldn´t help but smile. Finally, my suspicions were confirmed. Edward´s mystery woman is Isabella. I would be lying if I said I wasn´t ecstatic. From the moment that beautiful girl stumbled into our lives, she captured our hearts one by one.

When Edward first confided in me about this mystery girl, I thought it was someone from school, but then I began to notice how he would spend odd amounts of time staring at the various photos I had of Bella around the house.

The one family vacation, for which she joined us, he could barely contain his excitement, especially when I found out she was coming. The boy had it bad. Secretly, me too! I have always thought that they would make the perfect couple. The age difference wouldn´t be a problem... Bella was born an old soul.

My poor child was so lost in love, that I didn´t have the heart to scold him about being in Switzerland for the holidays. Yeah! Emmett! The boy can´t hold ice water. My poor baby will never grow up. Always trying to win brownie points over his brother. Never pausing to realize that I love them both just the same, but for different reasons.

Crawling into my bed, I feel my husband wrap himself around my body. I let out a sigh of contentment. I prayed silently that Edward would soon get his chance with Isabella, and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


Well, what did you think? Sorry to disappoint some of you, but those of you who thought either one of them safeworded... you were wrong! Lol! In my defense, I tried to safeword, because I threw up in my mouth a little just writing this, but DomWard flogged me good, and made me keep going. What can I say, ¨he owns me!¨ Let me know what you think! Reviews are like Christmas coming early! Tis the season to be Jolly! See ya in two!

Laterzzz:)

Krazi

xoxoxo