I watched it begin again
When the morning came, the apartment was silent. Waking up with a killer headache, I didn't even remember how I got to the couch or where Lucas was. I didn't get why I was on the couch, I mean…I remember coming back here and being some what excited to sleep in Lucas's bed, but I obviously wasn't there. I swear, I am never drinking this much again.
"Babe, where are you?"
"In my room, watching TV."
I walked into the bedroom, and could tell something was off. There was a look on Luke's face that I've never really seen before, and there were clothes thrown all over the bed room. Something must have happened and I'm praying it wasn't a fight because I don't remember a single thing.
"Morning." I leaned over to give him a kiss, and he obviously returned it, but he was cold in his overall manner. This wasn't good. "Did you sleep ok? You want to grab some food?" I was starving.
"Sure."
"Haley texted me before saying the keys were under my front seat and that they won't be home for the day. We can go pick up my car and I can cook you something at my house. Unless you have food here?"
"That's fine."
I determined that he was mad at me and I figured this was the least I could do. The drive to Haley's was silent for obvious reasons. I'm kind of shocked to say this, but I was so glad that we had some time apart, even if it was only a short drive to my house. I was still trying to rack my brain and at least piece together parts of the night, but nothing came to mind.
After I was done making the pancakes, eggs, and bacon, I placed them along with the orange juice on the table. I walked into the rather large living room and expected Lucas to be in there watching television, but he wasn't. I noticed the front door was open slightly and I had my worst fear…he left me high and dry. Lucas wasn't that type of guy and thank God he was sitting on my front steps. I made his coffee the way he likes it and walked out to where he was. We needed to talk about whatever happened last night.
"Broody." He looked up, which was a good sign that he responded to my nickname. "I made your coffee the way you like it. And breakfast is on the table." I sat down next to him with my coffee in hand.
"Thanks." He made the motion to get up but I stopped him.
"We need to talk." I hate those four words, but it was true. "Are you and at me for how much we hung out with Nick last night and not just the two of us? Cause I swear, there's no feelings there, he's just a friend…like Nathan."
"No, Nick's a really cool guy."
"Because he hates Julian just as much as you do." I gave him a playful nudge with my shoulder.
"True, but besides that he seems nice."
"He is, he's one of the reasons why Julian and I fell out of touch for those couple of years."
"One?"
"Ya, that and our families grew out of touch and what not."
"Oh." and then an awkward silence fell in between us and now I'm really lost as to why he's mad. "You really don't remember what happened last night do you?"
"No." I said so low and ashamed of my actions.
"Stop me if and when something rings a bell." He continued, with that look on his face that I couldn't figure out if it was anger, hurt, betrayal…anything. "After Nick left, we danced and you drank more and then we left around midnight."
"I remember that, but then it's black."
"We obviously went back to my house, I gave you clothes to change into and when you came back to the bedroom, you started making out with me." He smirked, which made me clam down a bit. "Then you started doing this little strip tease thing and when you pushed me to go further, I pulled back." My face just fell. I can't believe I ever did anything like that. Even though Lucas is my boyfriend, I'm still embarrassed. "After that you went a little nuts and started freaking out, accusing me of not loving you, and even hinted at us being done. "
"God, Luke I'm sorry. I know you love me and I love you too; I would never want to end this good thing we have.. It was just the alcohol talking."
"You weren't even listening to my reasoning."
"I'm sorry, so sorry. " I pulled him closer and placed a kiss on his cheek, tears slowly falling down mine.
"I didn't want to take advantage of you while you were like that. It wasn't fair to you, you shouldn't loose your virginity that way. It's not what you pictured. I didn't want to ruin it for you." He was gazing out into the street.
"Babe, look at me…from the bottom of my heart I am sorry. You know I wouldn't have acted like that if I wasn't drunk, but it's no excuse. You are all I ever want, all I could ever ask for. I don't want to loose you."
"I love you too, so much. That's why I was taken back at what you said. And that's why I was upset, I thought that's truly how you felt."
"Never, I love you. You are the best and probably the rest for me. I don't want anyone else, you are it for me."
"You are it for me too." He started smiling and right then I knew we where ok. He pulled me close, placed a kiss on my head, and just held me.
"Thank you, that's not how I wanted to end last night and even how I wanted our first time to be. You were right by doing what you did."
"I'm always right Pretty Girl, when are you ever going to learn that?" I started laughing and wiping the tears away. "Come on, breakfast is getting cold." He got up and grabbed my hand, leading us into the kitchen.
