Chapter 35: A Dinner To Cry For!
"Surprise!" Sakura chimed, throwing her arms in the air as soon as Sasuke rounded the corner to his apartment.
He stood there with a grinning and sweaty Naruto at his side. Poor kid looked like he had tried to his best to stall Sasuke on the way back from their training and I was sure Sasuke hadn't made it easy. Sasuke didn't seem the least bit surprised so much as he seemed annoyed. He blinked between Sakura and I but settled with a hardened glare a few moments later.
"What do you want?"
I envisioned his words were more for me but I was happy that he addressed everyone as a whole. He started toward his apartment, fishing his keys out of his pockets.
"Sakura thought it would be a good idea since you've been out of the hospital for a few days that we celebrate." Naruto explained.
"Not in the mood." Sasuke grumbled, opening his door before pushing it open.
"We figured that." Sakura smiled nervously before pulling out the bag she had been hiding behind her back. "So, we ordered takeout."
Sasuke eyed the bag in her hands and scoffed, turning the light on as he stepped inside. He shot me a glance but it was fleeting and I wasn't sure what his eyes held.
It had been a few days since he had been discharged and I had steered clear of him, visiting Lee with Neji and Tenten instead. As a result, I had bumped into Sakura a few times and she had updated me. She had been planning the takeout thing for a few days and had selected a random day. But it all felt like it was for nothing since Sasuke didn't seem very interested and I fought the part of me that said he would've enjoyed it somehow if I hadn't been there.
"You must be hungry after all that training." Sakura said and she stood hesitant in his doorway. She wanted to be invited in but Sasuke had his back to us and seemed more interested in rolling the knot out of his shoulder. Naruto watched, studying Sasuke and he seemed like it was only a matter of moments until he exploded.
I grabbed the bag from Sakura and stepped inside, heading straight for the kitchen. I remembered our times in the apartment and pushed past the stuffy feeling building in my chest. This wasn't the time to get emotional, not when I had his attention and he was watching me dig through his cabinets for plates and utensils.
I gathered everything and brought it over to the small kitchen island.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, sounding upset.
I ignored him. "You weren't in a hurry to set anything up, so I'm doing it for you."
"I said I wasn't in the mood." Sasuke snapped.
I turned back and glared at him. "And I don't remember caring."
He didn't like that one and his eyes widened but he didn't say anything else. I smiled at Naruto and Sakura, motioning them forward and Naruto who had looked ready to come to my honor merely smiled, walking in first. Sakura shot me a nervous smile and walked inside after, closing the door behind her. We talked and ate, well Naruto and Sakura did most of the talking, while Sasuke sat in front of his plate of food, seeming to get angrier and angrier by the second but he wasn't making any effort to say anything and I was happy ignoring him.
"So you learned a lot from Jiraiya, huh?" I asked Naruto.
Naruto nodded eagerly. "Yeah, Pervy Sage is an alright kind of guy."
Sakura shook his head. "Calling a legendary Sanin by that name."
Naruto shrugged. "Not my fault he'd be training me for a split second and looking at girls the next."
"With as consistent as that sounds, I'm surprised you learned anything at all." I laughed.
Naruto nodded. "That's what I tell him all the time! Believe it!" He finished the food on his plate. "But he still has a lot to teach me, plus I learned a really neat technique while we were looking for Granny Tsunade."
"Granny?" Sakura balked. "Tsunade is so young, Naruto. Have some respect."
"Young?" Naruto chuckled. "She's as old as Pervy Sage!"
I arched an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"
Naruto blinked at me, his laughter deepening. "She's a Sanin just like old man Jiraiya."
"Sa-sanin?" I gasped and I thought back, feeling the blood drain from my face. The other teammate, the woman with the impossible strength…it was her. It had been her. Orochimaru's final teammate, here in Konoha.
"Yeah, you didn't know?" Naruto asked, blinking.
"Sanin, huh? Jiraiya's a Sanin too, right?" Sakura asked before taking a bite of her soba noodles.
"That's not all." Naruto said, reaching for some teriyaki chicken. "They know who the next Hokage is going to be."
"Who?" Sakura asked.
"Granny Tsunade." Naruto said between bites.
I nodded, not sure how I felt about the news, not that I needed an opinion. This was a Leaf thing, not a Water. Sasuke didn't seem to care and Sakura nodded eagerly, seeming pleased.
"That's really cool." She smiled.
Naruto nodded. "Yeah, it is. Kono wasn't too happy about it. I spent the whole day trying to calm him down, but he got over it."
"The Third was his grandfather, right?" I asked.
Naruto nodded. "They were super close even though it never looked like it."
Sakura nodded solemnly. "Is it happening too fast, this announcement?"
"What do you mean?" Naruto blinked at her.
Sakura looked at him before letting her eyes trail over to the rest of us. "I mean, the Hokage just passed and now we're getting ready for a new one."
"That's how it works." Sasuke grumbled.
Sakura nodded. "I suppose. I mean, I'm not complaining. I think she's a great choice…I just…I don't know…"
She was bashful now and reached for a napkin to wipe at her mouth.
"No I get it." Naruto cut in immediately and something told me that he didn't, not really anyway. But, he would do anything for Sakura and he most certainly didn't want her to feel left out.
Sakura nodded at him before glancing at the clock at Sasuke's bedside. "It's getting pretty late, isn't it?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, it is." Naruto said.
"I'll clean up." I offered, gathering everyone's plates.
Sasuke watched me and even when I headed to the sink, his eyes never left me.
"I'll walk you home, Sakura." Naruto grinned.
"It's not that late." Sakura grumbled before turning toward Sasuke. "Sasuke, do you need anything else?"
"Just get out." Sasuke grumbled, pushing himself up from the table. I glanced over my shoulder to see how his harsh words had affected everyone and Naruto was glaring at him while Sakura seemed sad.
"Stop being such a jerk to the girls." Naruto growled.
"I didn't ask for you to come over." Sasuke growled. "But I'm asking you to leave and you're all still here."
"Sasuke!" Naruto growled, taking a step forward until Sakura reached out and caught his arm.
"It's alright, Naruto." Sakura said, forcing a smile onto her lips. "We should just get going."
They headed for the door and Sakura shot me a look.
"Are you coming, Miyuki?" She asked.
I smiled as I dried the dishes. "I'll be leaving after I put all this away."
She nodded. "We'll see you tomorrow then." She looked at Naruto who was still glaring at Sasuke. But, Sasuke didn't seem to notice and was more focused on whatever lied beyond his sliding doors to his balcony.
"Naruto, you still up for walking me home?" Sakura called.
Naruto almost broke his neck turning back toward Sakura and I swore the smile on his lips couldn't get bigger.
"Y-yeah!" He chimed and Sakura smiled.
"Alright, let's go."
They were gone a few moments later and I was sliding the dishes back into place in Sasuke's cabinets just as Naruto's voice was beginning to fade. With a sigh, I stepped back, giving a cursory look at the kitchen. It was just as it had been before, as if no one had used it or been in it for that matter since the day it was first rented.
I turned only to find Sasuke sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands folded over his mouth, his eyes dark.
I grabbed the garbage, not wanting to dump it all in his small trashcan and headed for the door.
"Have a good night." I called as I reached for the knob.
"Why?"
I froze. His voice had been low, so low that I had sworn that he hadn't spoken at all. I looked back at him, still stunned but wanting to see it myself. He hadn't moved and the reason he had sounded so muffled was because his hand had been there.
"Excuse me?" I asked.
He looked at me, his eyes hard. "Why are you back here?"
I blinked at him. "I told you already."
"No." His eyes growing a shade harsher. "Why are you really here?"
"Sasuke I—" I stopped myself and looked away. So that was what it was about. He was being rude to me because he didn't trust my intentions.
"I need to focus on my training." Sasuke said, looking away from me. "I couldn't beat him because of it."
"Then train." I said with a shrug. "Train till you drop."
He glared at me. "Don't forget that you don't get to be upset with me."
I gawked at him. "Wh-what? I don't have the right?" I pointed at myself for emphasis. "Are you-are you serious right now? Sasuke, I did nothing to you."
"You did nothing?"
"So, I didn't tell you about Orochimaru. Big deal, it wasn't like it was a big thing. I get it okay, you have trust issues."
"Yeah, well you were planning on leaving weren't you?" Sasuke spat.
I froze, my eyes widening.
"You just wanted to leave." Sasuke growled. "You didn't say anything and then I find out it was because of a mission."
"Sasuke—"
"No." Sasuke growled, stepping toward me. "He said I was still weak."
"Sasuke—"
"After all that time that I spent training it still wasn't enough. Do you know how that feels?"
"Ye-yes I—"
"No, you don't." Sasuke growled. "I wanted to be left alone but you barged inside like you owned the place."
Tears were stinging in my eyes and I didn't want to cry. I didn't want him to know that he had struck something in my heart.
"Get out." Sasuke said, his voice low as he reached for the doorknob. He opened it and waited for me to slip through the crack, but my feet stood rooted to the ground as I sniffed, struggling to keep it together.
"You're not even gonna let me tell you my side of the story?"
"I don't care for it."
I swallowed, a lump instantly making it difficult.
"I don't know how many times I have to say that I'm sorry."
"Start by stopping." Sasuke growled. "I've heard it enough from you."
"You're a real jerk, you know that?"
"I've been told."
I didn't know what to say much less do. It was much deeper than I had thought originally and I agreed, he had every right to be upset but to react the way he had…
"I never wanted to leave." I managed. "I wanted to stay and say goodbye but we didn't have time."
"Miyuki—"
"Don't you think that after everything we've been through and everything we've done that I never thought for one second how messed up it all was? I wanted to say bye to you. I wanted to stay with you."
"Miyuki—"
"I'm so-I'm so—" I looked away, my tears beginning to fall. "I'm so sorry that he hurt you."
He said nothing. He just stared over me, his expression impassive.
"But I don't deserve to be treated the way you treat me."
He glanced down at me.
"I don't deserve to get pushed away every time you're going through something. All I ever want to do is make things better for you. I just want to help you."
His jaw tightened and I pushed the door shut before glaring up at him.
"You keep me at a distance always and I've told you everything about me. I've opened my heart for you and you've never done that for me, not once, not ever." I spat before pushing him back.
"I would never hurt you." I said. "Not on purpose but you walk around as if I would and that hurts me."
He was speechless but his eyes and expression were still dark. I ran a shaky hand through my hair, not even bothering to wipe at my tears because they felt endless. There was a hole in my chest, an ache from our whole argument. His feelings felt like nothing compared to mine.
"I came all the way down here for you." I said and sucked in a breath. "I fought Itachi and he told me that he had hurt you and I didn't know what to say or do. All I wanted to do was to run and see you. All I wanted to do was to run and make sure you were okay."
His eyes widened. "You saw Itachi?"
"Yes!" I shouted, wiping at my damp cheeks before sniffing. "But it doesn't matter."
He looked at me.
"You want to be left alone to wallow and be sad and angry, well go ahead." I said. "I see you for what you really are now and I regret coming here for you."
I pulled the door open and stepped outside, shutting it back in his face before bolting down toward the street. I was anxious, my body trembling, my tears not stopping. I just wanted things to go back to how they had been before everything. Before Konoha. Before Zabuza. Before Sasuke. There was no doubt that we would have crossed paths eventually, but at least it wouldn't have been the way we had.
I had cared so much and for what? It had always been one-sided. Just me by myself trying to console the inconsolable. He was a jerk who only thought of himself, who got close and pushed me away, hard into a wall. He didn't recognize what I had been willing to give him and he had lost it just like that. He claimed he was weaker because of me but he had had a role in it too. He was the one who had stayed with me for days not getting up to train, hadn't he? Or had I imagined it all?
"Wait."
I didn't listen, I kept walking and if anything, I picked up my speed.
"I said wait."
"Screw you." I growled, keeping my pace.
A hand came down on my wrist and I fought back, pulling a kunai from my weapons pouch and turning to strike. He caught my other hand and threw me back against the wall of a building. I gasped, struggling, my arms crossed over my chest, his grip hard.
"Just hold on a second." He grunted.
"I don't want to hear anything you have to say." I growled.
"Yeah well, you can still spare a minute or two." Sasuke grunted again. "You've spent the past few minutes yelling at me."
I glared up at him. "You haven't even begun to see me yell at you."
"I bet." Sasuke grunted before pushing away from me. I stabbed my kunai against the wall and it caught, hanging off while my hand rested on the handle.
"What do you want? You hear to rip me to pieces again?" I spat.
"No."
"Then what do you want from me?" I snapped.
"I spent all this time wanting one thing and one thing only." Sasuke said and the tone in his voice made me tense up a little bit.
"Revenge." Sasuke said. "I wanted to kill the man who single-handedly murdered my entire clan. I thought I had him right where I wanted him. I thought that I could do it and he…he…"
He looked away, up the street, before looking back down at me. "He won, like I was nothing all over again. All this time, all these years building up my hatred for him only for him to tell me that I didn't hate him enough."
"But then you came." Sasuke said and I felt my tense shoulders relax as I blinked up at him.
"And I've never been more confused because for the first time, there's a possibility that there's something else, something more that I could want and I don't understand how because I've only ever wanted one thing." Sasuke's hands tightened into fists at his sides. "It was all I could think about, this new thing and I wasn't sure how to treat it, how to take it."
"There were days when I was all for it, days where I could see me getting the best of both worlds, but he proved to me that it's not possible. I can only focus on one thing at a time and now I have to put all my energy, all my time, into getting stronger and stronger so that I can end him."
I hugged myself.
"But then you come around…you always come around…" He stepped beside me and slid back against the wall. "I never know what to do with that."
"Sasuke…" I breathed, looking at him and watching his mind race. He seemed a little pained and I knew that after tonight, after everything, I shouldn't have felt bad for him. I had every right to be upset, but he was right there, right in my heart, dead center and it hurt me to see him in pain, to see him so lost and confused.
"I don't know what to do." Sasuke said, sliding down to the ground, bending his knees so that his arms dangled by his elbows on them.
I looked down at him and took a small breath before sliding down beside him. I looked down at the arm Sakura had been holding that day, no longer feeling jealousy but knowing that somehow she had sensed something in him. She couldn't put a finger on it, but she just knew that the Sasuke she had now was not the same one she had had before. I reached over for his hand and held it between mine, massaging his fingers as I looked at him.
"It's okay." I said and reached up to run my fingers through his hair.
He glanced at me.
"It's going to be okay." I continued. "We'll figure it out…we'll figure it out together."
He looked at me, his eyes searching mine before he nodded.
I wasn't happy with our ending, but I couldn't leave him that way. I couldn't stand or leave him there, so vulnerable it would break anyone's heart. It went back to all he had gone through growing up, all the damage that had been done to him.
"I saw him kill them." Sasuke swallowed, before closing his eyes.
"What?"
"I saw Itachi kill my parents…over and over again…" Sasuke grumbled. "On an endless loop."
"Sasuke…" I said, speechless. His Genjutsu, the same one he had used on me to dig through my head.
"I need to end him." Sasuke breathed.
"I know." I said, knowing it was more complicated than that.
"I want him to feel the same pain he caused me."
I thought about Karin, the concern lighting through his eyes as he had looked down at her. But, I couldn't tell him about her. He'd kill her for sure and what would happen to me? I had no choice but to do the one thing that didn't involve anymore words. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close, my head resting over his as I hugged him tight.
I decided then that I would help him. Somehow, I'd help him get stronger. I'd help him accomplish his dream. Itachi Uchiha needed to die regardless, I realized. It was just long overdue and who better to do it than Sasuke? I was either going to help Sasuke get the final blow or I was going to be sure to do it myself.
