Karin POV
Of course because I was without any pants I wasn't paying attention nto anything Gin had said so when he asked me what I thought about something I was totally lost, "I'm sorry what?"
He chuckled at me, "I asked you what you thought about being here. I know that you know you're here to be killed but you also don't seem to be traumatically affected by being here. Well other than physical injuries..."
I sighed and thought it through. What did I think aboout being here? I wanted to go home that's for sure...but at the same time I'm afraid of dying I'm not afraid of this place in general. Maybe because I made friends with Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. I had to make sure they got out of here alive. I wasn't going to leave them behind.
They're a lot kinder than I would've expected and just that kindness in a place so unexpected had made them important to me. Ichigo would think I was crazy...and the Soul Society would never let me in for helping the enemy. Which meant my training was for nothing. I really believe that they've taken Toushirou's place as my best friend...not that Toushirou is less than that it's just that I've come to think of him as much more.
I held Grimmjow's jacket tighter around me and attempted to answer, "I honestly don't know. I don't hate it here but I don't want to stay either." My voice cracked at the end of the sentence. I had almost forgotten that I had had troubles speaking earlier. Of course that was only because I had to act strong in front of Aizen to seal the deal.
I stared blankly forward, only subconsciously following Gin's path. What if the plan didn't work? What if I ended up dying anyway? Would Toushirou die too like he said before? Would I forget my family and friends? Yuzu, Ichigo, Dad, Toushirou, my soccer team, Rangiku, Rukia...all of them gone from my memories forever. I would never get to tell Toushirou I love him. I would never eat Yuzu's cooking again or go shopping with her or give her sisterly support. I would lose my other half. Ichi-nii...He's so overprotective but I still love him. I would never get to make fun of his stupidity again or...see him finally ask Rukia out...or go to college...
I let out a shaky breath. I didn't even want to think about Dad. His usual goofy attitude would change to what it was righ after Mom died wouldn't it. He'd be serious about things which would only enhance how wrong everything was. I didn't want any of them to go through my death. I had to live.
"Miss?"
I looked up at Gin who was still walking in front of me, "What is it?" He paused before answering, "Your spiritual pressure was flaring. I was just making sure you were okay."
I blushed and tried my best to hide my spiritual pressure, "I'm fine. I was just lost in thought. I stopped thinking about keeping my spiritual pressure under control. Sorry about that." He chuckled, "There's no need to apologize. It may 'ave attracted some attention though."
I blushed and looked down at myself. Yep still only Grimmjow's jacket and a pair of panties. My eyes widenedas I sped up my pace, "Then lead me back to my room quicker."
"It's only two halls away."
I sighed in relief, "Good...I'm assuming Aizen's not going to give me a pair of pants until my whole new outfit is made." I could barely see the nod that I got in response. I shook my head, I felt like one of the slutty girls who wore really short shorts and lowcut tanktops...In all reality that's actually more clothes than I had on at the moment.
We got back to my room and I walked inside. Thankfully it wasn't as dark was it was before I left. Unthankfully my two espada friends were still inside. I blushed and walked to my bed to sit down. I got myself seated and then glared at them, "What the hell are you still doing here?"
Ulquiorra looked away from me and Grimmjow very bluntly said, "What the hell are you doing without any pants on?" I embarrassedly crossed my arms, "I had to measured for a new outfit and they didn't give my pants back when they were done. It's as simple as that."
"I thought you were going to see that bastard Aizen."
I took a deep breath, "I did. He was in the room I was being measured in. I swear it's not comfortable walking down hallways in just this jacket and my underwear." He blushed and looked in the opposite way of Ulquiorra, "Yeah well it's not comfortable for me to even look at you when your like that."
"What do you mean?"
"I think you know what I mean."
My eye twitched and my entire face turned red. I looked helplessly at Ulquiorra. His face looked calm and composed but his eyes looked just as embarrassed as I felt.
I nervously laughed and changed the subject, "Anyway...I made a deal with Aizen. I'm going to work for him...Well that's what he thinks mp plan so far is when Toushirou gets here I'm supposed to fight him so when I'm up close to him I'm going to tell him that I'm still on his side and then attempt to run. That's where you two come in. Since I'm not a Soul Reaper I can't flash step so one of you will have to carry me away from here. Once we get far enough away the other can open one of those weird gate things that lead to the living world. And poof we've escaped!"
Ulquiorra looked at me like I was stupid, "Just attempting to run won't get you anywhere. Aizen his faster than everybody here. He'll kill you in an instant."
"I can almost guarantee that Toushirou won't be alone when he gets here. In fact I'm positive that my brother will be with him which gives us a good chance. I mean Ichigo sealed him away once right. He should be able to subdue him. And even if my brother is stupid sometimes. Toushirou's not he'll get them out of there if there's a sign that they won't win...Maybe..."
Grimmjow smirked at me, "It might work but there's no guarantees. If we can get the other espadas to help then it probably will. I think the only one that doesn't want Aizen gone is Nnoritra." I shivered at the mention of his name and looked down. I didn't want to have these damn flashbacks about what happened. I wanted to go home just as I was when I got here. I should've known that wasn't possible.
I squeezed my eyes shut and looked at my lap finally answering Grimmjow, "That would b-be good." Damn my stuttering. They're going to figure it out now. I know they will. "Karin did..."
"SHUT UP!"
I shook my head, "Don't say it. Just don't say it."
I was shaking and I hated myself for it. I hated myself for being so weak.
I was fighting back tears when I felt arms around me and something solid hit my forehead. And considering it was a clothed solid it meant it was Ulquiorra. I was suprsied for a moment before the tears started falling. Why does this have to affect me so much. He didn't even get very far with it so why is it bothering me so much? It's not fair. It should have never happened. I should've been able to protect myself. I shouldn't have lost control of myself and lunged at him.
I could have prevented this. How can I ever expect to be able to protect Yuzu or anybody else if I can't even protect myself? How could I even be trusted with someone else's life?
Most of the tears were falling into my lap. Each drop was a harsh reminder of everything that had happened. I realized that when I had thought in the dressing room that Aizen staring at me was worse than what Nnoritra did I was trying to find something worse so that I could think about that instead. And almost telling Grimmjow and Ulquiorra before that was a way to make it seem like I wasn't bothered by it.
But I wasn't fooling anyone. I can't even fool myself.
I fell asleep that night crying and in Ulquiorra's arms. I was only glad that I didn't dream because I know they wouldn't be dreams they'd be nightmares.
Aww poor Karin I feel bad for being sadistic now...I can't reverse that though...Review~!
