Pour me something stronger
Pour me something straight
All these crooked voices, make them go away
I can barely stand up
I can hardly breathe
Pour me something stronger than me
One week…one whole week since my heart was ripped out of my chest…one week since my world came crashing down…one week since I've spoken to the outside world…one week since Lucas left. I've lost track of everything and I've just become numb. Days and nights have morphed together. Nothing is the same anymore. My cell phone keeps ringing, but I don't answer. I don't have the strength to talk to anyone about what happened. All they are going to do is look down on me and pity me, I don't want the sympathy cause all of this is my fault. I should have been more open to the idea of leaving with him, I should have told him we could do a long distance relationship, I should have been happy and supportive for him getting a job doing something he loved. But I did none of that. And because I did nothing, all of my dreams are gone, just he like is. My only solstice now is the liquor in the liquor cabinet. The whiskey burns as it goes down my throat but it does not make me feel any better or numb me anymore than I already am.
"Brooke, I know it's your day off but you told me to call you once I got back from the doctor with the baby. Bella is perfectly healthy, a perfect baby. Call me back when you get this or not, whatever, I'll talk to you soon."
"Brooke, it's Rachel. Where are you? What's going on? Are you ok? I haven't heard from you in a couple of days. I know you called out but you are scaring me. Please call me back and just let me know you are alright, I'm worried."
"Tig, what's going on with you? You aren't answering anyone. Rae's tried calling like a million times and so have I. We are all worried about you B, open up and let just one of us in…we all love you."
"Brooke, it's Nate…you are really freaking Haley out and you know that in turn that freaks me out. Can you just please call her and let her know that you're ok? You don't have to talk like you guys normally do, just something to take Haley off the edge…please."
"That's it Brooke…I don't know what happened or what's going on in that head of yours but I'm coming over this afternoon."
Haley continually knocked on the door for a long time now and there was no answer. She was getting fed up and disappointed in herself for making the decision to bring Bella along in the cold weather. She continued to knock further, until she realized that she had the key for the side door. Haley quickly picked up the baby and made her way inside.
"Brooke!" Haley called from down stairs and there was no answer. She slowly made her way upstairs, not quite sure of what she was going to find when she entered my room. As the door flew open, I downed another swig of the whiskey in my hand. The bottle was half gone and it was only 2.
"Heelllloooo there Tutor Mom."
"What are you doing?"
"Drinking…you want some?"
"I can see you're drinking…and no I do not want some, you know that. Why are you drinking? What's going on?"
"Where's Bella? I wanna hold my little girl."
'NO! You're just going to come home with me." Haley was fed up with not getting an answer and she wasn't just going to leave me like this on my own.
"Are we going to party?" I asked once I got in the car.
"Sure, but you're going to sleep first." The rest of the ride is a total blank for me. I don't even remember getting to my bed or what time of the day it was when I got up. I slowly sat up and as I did, the pounding headache and nausea started. I stumbled down stairs not only find out what time it was but also to realize that I'm not even in my own home. What the hell did I do last night? Where am I? I questioned myself.
"Well well well…look who decided to finally wake up today."
"What happened?"
"I should be asking you the same thing." Haley said as she was moving around the kitchen making breakfast.
"Nothing." I didn't want to talk about it.
"I know when you're lying and this is one of those times…cut the crap B…I've never seen you like that before. What's going on? Where's Lucas?"
"Gone." I mumbled under my breath.
"What do you mean gone?" She must have heard me, I guess the jig is up.
"Gone gone…like he went back to Tree Hill." The tears started flowing; they were bottled up for a week and finally decided to fall.
"Wait why? You guys seemed ok."
"We had this major fight." I proceeded to tell her exactly what happened between Luke and I.
"And I'm sure you guys are fine. You both just needed some time to cool down. Have you heard from him?"
"No, I haven't. I don't think we just needed time to cool down Hales…he was really angry. I don't know if we can ever recover from this. It all just hurts…" Haley just pulled me closer, in an attempt to calm me down.
"I know it does sweetie, but you guys love each other. He'll eventually come around; and if he doesn't I'll just knock some sense into him for hurting you so much. Until then I want you to stay here…at least until you sort some things out. I don't want you to be alone right now." I know what she was saying, even though she didn't have to actually say it. She didn't want me to continually drink alone to numb the pain.
"No, I'll be fine…really."
"Just a couple of days…please."
"Ok, where's Bells?" I heard the faint sound of crying but couldn't place where the sound was coming from.
"In her room." I quickly got up and left the kitchen. I couldn't have that conversation anymore. Everything hurts, I just want to be free of all of this pain and go back to the way things were. Back to where we were all happy and I knew that he was always going to be in my life. I want my dreams back. I picked up the fussy baby and sat in the rocking chair, slowly rocking back and forth in an attempt to stop both of us from crying…it only worked on one of us.
Hey guys, hope everyone likes this chapter. The next one should be up in a week or two. The drama is going to pick up even more. Just to clear some things up in case everyone is confused. Brooke and Haley are from like 5/6 hours south of Tree Hill. Lucas is from Tree Hill and that's where he is now.
