Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life

I shot out of bed, sweat dripping down my face and my heart beating rapidly. That's three nights in a row now this has happened to me. It makes sense though, it's been three days since I found out. I rolled over to see what time it was, 7 am. There was no point in going back to sleep when I only have to be getting ready for work in an hour. Putting everything that was bothering me to the back of my mind, I slowly started my day; putting the coffee on, showering, picking out my clothes. All of that and I was still done some what early. Yawning, I figured that maybe if I go in early, I can get out early.

As the day went on that was some what true. I did in fact get out early, but once I made it home I realized that I had no food in the house for dinner and therefore, that I needed to go food shopping. By the time I returned from that, it was indeed late. It became even later once I finished cooking and cleaning up my meal. By then I realized that the jig was up and that it was time to talk to someone about what happened. I made my way out onto the back porch over looking the pool, phone in my hand but unsure of who exactly I should call. I sat there for a long time with my finger hovering over the call button, with Lucas's information all over my screen. Instantly, I changed my mind and called Haley; I couldn't just face him yet, no matter how serious this problem was. With Haley though, it kept ringing and ringing and ringing until eventually her voicemail came on. "Hey Tutor Mom, it's me. Just checking in to see how everything is. Hopefully you guys are doing ok. I…uhhh…actually need you and it's kind of important so when you can give me a call back…please." I hope the desperation in my voice wasn't that obvious. It was true though…I needed her so much right now; so I called her again and again it rang until the voicemail picked up. I guess she's going to be no help tonight. I found Lucas's number and my finger again hovered over the call button. I must have stared at that screen for a long time, not quite sure what to do, because before I knew it Haley and Bella's faces were popping up on my screen.

"Hi." My voice was still shaky, this was going to be a rough phone call.

"Hey, sorry I missed your calls. We were putting Bella to bed."

"Awww, that's cute that you guys are doing it together." The tears slowly started coming down my face.

"Ya, no matter how late Nate works he always try to make it home to do that at least."

"What a good husband. How are they? Nate? Bells?"

"They're good. Nate's been busy at work so he's there almost all of the day, from like 7 am until 7 at night. But I guess that's good cause that means more money in while I'm still out…and with the holidays coming up in two weeks it just works out perfectly. Bells is good…constantly growing, which the doctors say is normal and to be expected. I just can't wait for things to slow down…hopefully after the holidays. But enough about me, how are you? How are you holding up?"

"That's what I was actually calling about."

"What do you mean? Have you heard from him?"

"No, but Hales I think I made a mistake."

"Sweetie, that's just the heartache and missing him talking. I told you that none of this is your fault. He was in the wrong here, he lied to you multiple times. He took that job behind your back, without even mentioning it to you. Please, I love you and I know that this is hard, but don't you ever for a second think that you are wrong here."

"Thank you, but I actually wasn't talking about that."

"What did you do now B?"

"I…uhhh…slept with Lucas…"

"Like it was a one time thing after a special romantic night?"

"No, like a lot more then once…much more frequently than that." A smile slowly formed on my face. I was recalling all of those different times and how happy I was back then.

"BROOKE! How could you?"

"I love him and he loved me. I didn't think there was any harm, until…"

"It doesn't matter if you loved him or not." Haley was getting pissed. "Were you ready for any of the possible side affects of having sex? Like getting pregnant or contracting a disease? God B, you see how much Nate and I struggle with the baby. That wasn't like some kind of wake up call for you? Any kind of realization that this could happen to you too?"

"Ya, but…"

"There's no buts here Brooke. This is bad. You know what you did make a mistake. A major one. I didn't think you would stoop this low and act like this. You're unbelievable, you're smarter than this. I'm so disappointed in you right now." I could see that Haley cares about me and my well being but she didn't have to go about it this way. This was mean and uncalled for. She crossed the line.

"You know what…forget I even called…have a good night." I hung up on her. I couldn't take the judgmental attitude she was having towards me. Like she's some sort of saint, she's made mistakes and so have I. But I didn't judge her for them, or yell at her for them telling her she royally screwed up. No…I was there supporting her and trying to help her correct them. And this is what I get in return for doing all of that? She's got some nerve. I put my phone into my back pocket and just sat there for some time; trying to calm down. I put my hand over my stomach and started to gently rub it. Mommy's sorry…sorry this isn't the ideal situation right now…but I promise you this…I will make it all ok by the time you arrive…I swear…I love you so much. I took my hand off of my stomach and made my way back inside, decided to lay down in bed and watch some TV and hopefully get some sleep tonight.