You make my world, you make my world go 'round
You get me off, you get me off the ground

Laying in bed, watching some TV rerun, but my mind was just not there. It should have been though, everyone knows that the New Year's Day marathons are the best. But my mind was wondering. Wondering where Lucas was, and what he was doing. I wonder if he's happy or just as miserable as I am. I should call him…maybe I should. Maybe this is all the time we need apart and we'll get back together. I put my hand over my stomach were our baby should have been. Lucas would have been an amazing father. This baby could have been a blessing, the one pull we needed to get back together. Back to the way we used to be, cause I miss that. I'd be proud of him for the work he is doing at his new job, and he'd be proud of me starting school at the end of the month. None of that happened, though. I just didn't have the strength for that conversation. My phone did go off though. Huh, maybe he was thinking about me too. Little butterflies were fluttering, so I rolled over and picked it up off the night stand. It was only a text from Haley…drats. Can we meet up at The Grille in an hour? I want to talk. I sure did need someone to talk to right about now. So here I am, an hour later and walking up to The Grille. Haley wasn't there yet, so I just sat down at a booth and ordered something to drink. Looking down and playing games on my phone, I heard someone shuffle over to the table and sit down. I was afraid to look up. I knew it was Haley, but there was so much to muddle through and talk about that I had no idea where to even begin.

"Hi."

"Hey…" Still confused over here.

"So, I wanted to apologize for the way I acted and what I said on the phone a few weeks ago. Never once have you judged me on anything and yet here I am doing it to you. Hell, I should have been rewarding you….at least you lost it to someone you loved. And the letter…God B…" And at statement alone, I knew that we were going to be fine.

"Thank you, and I accept…but before you finish…there's a lot more as to why I called you that night that I didn't have a chance to tell you that may want hold off on your apology."

"Tigger…what else happened?"

"I was going to tell you that I was pregnant." Haley's face just dropped. This wasn't going to be good.

"Well when are you due? Did you tell Lucas? You have to tell him. You're keeping it right?"

"Hales…slow down. I lost the baby." This ate me up so much. I am still struggling over the fact that it is gone because it's my fault I couldn't protect it and nurture it enough for the baby to still be here.

"Like lost lost?"

"Yes, like miscarriage lost." Haley's hands instantly found mine, in an attempt to comfort me.

"How? When?"

"I took a home pregnancy test a few days before I called you. That same day went to the free clinic and they confirmed it. I had an appointment with an OB on Christmas Eve. During the ultrasound, she couldn't find a heartbeat. I lost it." The tears started rolling down my face.

"B, I am so sorry…I should have been there…I shouldn't have been so stubborn and cold towards you." She started crying too, it almost became one big cry-fest.

"Hales…no…please…you're just going to make me feel even worse than I already do."

"Ok…does Lucas know? I know its hard Brooke, but you can't blame yourself for this."

"No…I almost called him the night we got into the fight. But then our fight scared the crap out of me thinking that he would have the same reaction so I chickened out. And then once I lost it, I was too heartbroken to talk to anyone about it. That's why I wrote the letter, instead of calling you about it."

"Ah, yes…the letter. I am so sorry it took so long for me to see that. It must have fallen further under the tree when I pulled out Bella's presents and I never noticed it until I started cleaning things up. B…you didn't have to do any of that. The money isn't issue. And I know you said in the letter than the money would have been mine, if it wasn't for the pregnancy and bed rest. But I can't accept that, it's rightfully yours…you earned it."

"I don't care…I'm not taking it. I don't need it, I have more than enough. Plus with the holiday bills coming in…"

"NO!"

"How about then just put it in a college fund for the baby? Please I want her to have it then, if you do. She deserves everything."

"I know she does…so fine. College fund it is."

"Speaking of my niece…how is she doing? I feel so bad that this fight caused me from not seeing her as much as I should."

"She's really good…went for her eight week check up and shots the other day, and she took it like a trooper."

"Bells totally gets that from me."

"Oh, ya sure…she's just sleeping through the night now, so that's a major plus for me and Nate. And she looks absolutely adorable in those clothes you got her. Here look…" Haley showed me the pictures on her phone…Bella did get big from the last time I saw her…she has Nathan's features, but the eyes are totally Haley's.

"She's adorable Hales….you guys should be proud."

"We are…and she misses her Auntie Brooke very much…why don't you come by after we leave here and see her and Nate? I want things to go back to the way they used to be…"

"Ya, that would be nice."

I happy with that…to some degree. The way they used to be was the four of us…Naley and Brucas. I miss the old days….and I miss Luke so much. But it seems like he just doesn't miss me. He's tried no forms of communication since he left. Maybe I just wasn't his heart and soul, like he was mine. Maybe I was just holding onto something that just wasn't even there to begin with. My eyes were getting teary with just that thought alone. I had to get my emotions in check, before Haley noticed anything. She must already think that I'm on the verge of another melt down again because of losing the baby and Lucas. I plastered a smile on my face and we made our way out the door, arm in arm.