Disclaimer: None of us own Gundam SEED. Goddamn Sunrise… Furthermore, any franchises that make cameos here belong to their respective owners.
"Talking"
'Thinking'
"Radio"
Chapter Nineteen: Unfolding Plans
Aprilius-One, ZAFT Military Prison
Rau sighed as he looked down at the book he had been reading to pass the time in the cell, idly wondering if he was going to be able to continue his plans from within this prison, he also hadn't heard from his co-conspirator Gilbert for quite some time. A sudden clanging on the bars caught his attention. "You're being released," the guard informed. "Chairman Zala has a… special mission for you, Rau le Creuset."
Rau hummed at that. Trust Patrick to free him when he needed a task done. "Very well," he replied. "I will go to see him right away."
The Guard nodded as he released him, a pair of FAITH Special Forces soldiers were awaiting him with a vehicle and took him straight to where Patrick's office was. "Creuset," Patrick greeted gruffly as the blonde entered. "I have a mission for you, I take it you are aware of Miss Clyne, my son's former fiance?"
"I am," he replied. "I had also heard the engagement was annulled recently."
Patrick nodded. "Siegel called it off himself," he informed. "And it is tied to your mission, I want you to find, and kill her."
Rau nodded. "I take it this is to make it easier for you to win the upcoming elections?" he asked.
Patrick nodded. "Yes," he informed. "In order to enact GENESIS I must be the Supreme Chairman."
"Understood," Rau replied. "Do you have any idea where she is?"
"We guess she is with the Fenrir Mercenary Guild," Patrick informed. "And they are now making a base in the Mendel Colony that they purchased the rights to."
Rau nodded, feeling that it was somewhat fitting that Miss Clyne would meet her end in the same place he was born. "Very well," Rau replied. "I shall depart immediately."
As the two discussed the details of the mission, neither of them noticed a person who remained hidden behind a column, a grin on their face.
Thirty Minutes Later
Mendel Colony
Kira looked over the message that had come in on priority traffic from the PLANTs only a few minutes ago, shocked that Patrick Zala was making such a bold move.
"Kira?" Lacus asked, seeing her surprised face. "What's wrong?"
"Patrick Zala just released Rau le Creuset from prison," Kira replied. "And he's sending Rau here… to try and kill you."
Lacus gasped as she brought her hands up to her mouth. "What… why?"
"According to what this intelligence report I received anonymously from the PLANTs, Patrick Zala's working on something called GENESIS, but he needs to be Supreme Chairman in order to deploy it. And he's taking drastic measures to win the election, it seems…"
Lacus frowned. "What… do we do?" she asked.
"We set a trap," Kira replied. "This is our best shot at dealing with Rau le Creuset, and whatever plans he has going, and if we can get a recorded statement of his orders, it'll be damning proof that Patrick ordered a hit on you, which we can make public - that'll cripple his chances of winning the election, and he'll start getting sloppy to try and get the office through other means."
Lacus nodded in agreement. "Tell me what you need from me then," she informed. "I'll do whatever I can."
"OK," Kira replied. "Here's what we'll do…"
Northern Europe - Murata Estates
"Well, it looks abandoned," Ryu murmured as he looked at the mansion from a pair of Binoculars. "You picking up any heat sigs, Hughes?"
"Nothing," Hughes replied. "Not even a mouse."
"And that in itself is suspicious," Ryu murmured as he pulled the black balaclava over his face, Hughes mimicking the action before they checked their suppressed MP5's. "Let's go."
Hughes nodded, before the two moved in.
They slipped into the mansion with little issue and began searching through it, disturbing the thick layer of dust that had built up. "Anything, Hughes?" Ryu whispered into his throat mike.
"I might have something," Hughes replied. "It's a bookcase, but it looks like it's on a track…"
"On my way," Ryu informed. "Sounds like a secret room."
"Agreed," Hughes replied. "I'll see if I can find the mechanism to move the bookcase."
"Understood," Ryu confirmed as he moved towards Hughes' location, arriving just as the bookshelf moved from its position, revealing a secret stairway. "Nice… the treasure is always behind the secret door, right?"
"Yep," Hughes replied. "It's practically a universal constant."
Ryu chuckled as he brought down a pair of night vision goggles over his eyes along with Hughes and moved into the stairway, coming into a small room. "Bingo…" Ryu declared as he moved over to a computer. "Motherload…"
"Yep," Hughes replied, seeing stacks of notes on a desk. "I'll get these notes stored and ready for transit."
Ryu nodded, before cursing. "New target when you're done, Hughes," he informed. "LOGOS… they're… dammit, they're creating child soldiers…"
Hughes swore at that. "That's barbaric," he remarked.
Ryu nodded. "And we're going to do something about it," he announced. "Radio Mendel, get us a squad."
"Gotcha," Hughes replied. "Let's get out of here, first - rather not accidentally set off anything."
Ryu nodded in agreement as the two moved out of the secret room and disappeared into the shadows.
Meanwhile - Mendel Colony
Kira was in Overdrive Prankster Mode, now, setting all sorts of booby traps both embarrassing and lethal at all entrance points into the Colony.
This was their chance to finally get rid of Rau, and Kira was sparing no expense.
"Kira-san, what do you think I should load this airsoft gun with? Food colouring or hair dye or suppositories?" Kagami had found the idea very interesting and had decided to join in of her own accord, putting her creativity to good use.
"Ooh… hard to decide…" Kira remarked. "Put them all in!"
"Suppositories won't go well with the other two though… Food colouring and dye it is!" the silverette cackled as she dove into a nearby supply truck for the aforementioned trap material. "I'll put the suppositories in another one - I'd like to see the look on the bastard's face when he tries to hack a door and gets shot up the ass for his trouble. Then again, I'd probably need to boost the airsoft gun's power to do that…"
"Perhaps you could use a modified nail gun for the suppositories?" Kira ventured.
"That works!" Kagami exclaimed, diving back into the truck to look for a nail gun.
"Hmm… might want to set up nail guns at another point, too," Kira remarked. "Place them near one of the lethal traps - pin him in place with the nails, so he can't escape the more deadly trap…"
"We'd be more likely to nail him with the nail guns though - pun completely intended," Kagami chuckled as she emerged with a modified nailgun and proceeded to hide it in an innocent-looking flowerpot, hooking it up to a tripwire made of piano wire and putting the whole setup in front of an important-looking door, making sure to aim it right at where Rau's butt would be if he were trying to hack it. "What about… tranquilizer darts aimed for his legs? Or bolas?"
"Those would work…" Kira replied. "Definitely want one trap which can restrain him then end him, just in case…"
"Hmm. Do you think stink bombs would work?" Kagami mused. "I mean… He's not going to be wearing a gas mask or anything of the sort, right?"
"We'd need to get him to remove his Normal Suit's helmet, first, depending on where he entered…" Kira replied. "A battery of paintball guns to try and hit his visor would work."
"Pity we can't just blow hot air at it to fog it up, that would make things so much easier," the silverette shook her head. "Actually, think we can rig a few proximity mines with paint? Those are easier to hide than paintball guns. Much better chances of hitting his visor too."
"Could work," Kira replied. "And I think we'll mount flamethrowers near Shirou's room - if the bastard wants to try taking a little child as a hostage, he deserves to be roasted."
"Can we fill the corridor with methane gas when he enters? I'd like to see him try to get out of a corridor filled with flammable gas with flamethrowers just waiting to go off," Kagami suggested. "Actually we can use methane gas in certain areas to make him have second thoughts about firing a gun…"
"Could definitely work…" Kira replied. "Good thing we don't need to extract info from him before we kill him, huh?"
"Yep!" Kagami chirped as she studied a mousetrap and a roll of flypaper. "I wonder if we can use these…"
"We might be able to find a way…" Kira remarked.
"Hmm… what about filling a toy truck with glue and putting it somewhere where he's likely to step in it, too?" Kagami mused. "And there's also the classic electrified wire I'm sure we could rig somewhere…"
"Onee-chan, you're scary," Fubuki, who had been roped into driving the truck, muttered.
Kira giggled as the two continued plotting and placing traps.
Rau le Creuset was not going to know what hit him.
Archangel - Mess Hall - a while later
"So, you're the survivor of the UC project?" Jinn asked Canard after the man introduced himself. "Nice to meet you, I'm Jinn Hisanaga."
"Yeah, that's me…" Canard replied. "Though there were times I wished things had been different…"
Jade smirked at him. "Well, if things had been different, you wouldn't be sitting here right now, now would you?" she questioned.
"True," Canard remarked. "But still, the tests I was put through in Eurasia… they did everything to test my reaction times, my endurance, my pain tolerance…"
"Sorry to hear that," Sai said with a sad look. "It must have been hard to endure…"
"Yeah, it was…" Canard replied.
Fubuki was grimacing as Canard reminisced about the worst days of his life. "Canard-san, you don't have to worry about all that anymore, now that you're here," he reassured.
"For sure," Kira declared firmly. "Like I'd let someone hurt my little brother!"
"Thanks… big sister," Canard replied, with a bit of a smile.
"There she goes, acting like she's the older one, again," Cagalli grumbled. "It's obvious that I'm the older one."
"Oh?" Kira asked. "And what criteria bring you to that conclusion, little sister?"
Cagalli growled in return. "Because, it's obvious I'm the more mature one!" she shouted. "I don't go around pranking people planning assassinations!"
"And yet you get angry at the smallest of slights," Kira replied. "If you are the older of us, then you need to get laid really badly."
Cagalli flushed horribly at the declaration, only Kira noticing her eyes quickly flashing over to Athrun. "Wh… Why would you say something like that!?" she demanded, more embarrassed than angry.
"Because getting angry at the smallest of slights is not something a mature person does," Kira replied, smirking. "It is the habit of someone still immature, or one possible sign that the person needs to get laid."
Cagalli's blush reddened even further, it was redder than even Flay's hair. "Shu… SHUT UP!" She shouted out.
"Oh my, why are you blushing?" Kira asked coyly. "Could it be I hit the nail on the head with you needing to get laid?"
"I said shut up!" Cagalli shouted again. "I don't need to get laid!"
"Umm… Cagalli-sama, I think Athrun-san might take offense to that…" Fubuki stated nervously, poking his fingers together.
Cagalli froze, her spine stiffening at the words as her eyes, her head mechanically turning to Athrun who was blushing as well, looking away from Cagalli. "What…?"
"I'm actually… a bit of an empath," Fubuki confessed. "I can pick up what people are feeling just by looking at them, and Cagalli-sama was… um, how do I put it? Feeling secretive about something with Athrun-san? And Athrun-san was also feeling a little… hurt?"
"I… uh…" Cagalli stammered out nervously. "He… what?"
"Fubuki-chan, trying to play matchmaker?" Hanami smiled, looking between the blushing pair even as she herself cuddled into Jinn's side.
"Well… they both looked like they were having trouble admitting it," her younger brother nodded.
"I… uh… IHAVETOGO!" Cagalli shouted as she ran away, somehow leaving clouds of dust in her wake.
"Cagalli! Wait!" Athrun called out as he ran after her.
Kira finally burst out into hysterical laughter, tears streaming down her face. "Oh… my… GOD!" she gasped out. "That… was… AWESOME!"
"Good thing I got that on camera!" Kagami cackled, having switched with Hanami earlier to snap a photo of Cagalli and Athrun. "Nothing like more blackmail material to use!"
"Hopefully those two can finally acknowledge their feelings and get together," Flay remarked. "I mean, the sexual tension between them is so thick you could cut it with a knife!"
Canard stared at them. "What… just happened?" he asked in confusion.
"Basically, Fubuki-chan here," Kagami patted her feminine younger brother on his head and continued, "Forced ORB Princess-sama and ZAFT Commando-san to acknowledge their feelings for each other. You know, that kind of feeling? Love?" she pulled Jinn's arm into her bosom and rested her head on his shoulder to illustrate.
Jinn smiled down at Kagami and kissed the top of her head. "It's a rather… nice feeling," he said contently.
"Yes, having someone you can love is rather nice…" Kira replied with a smile.
"Indeed," Kagami agreed as she absentmindedly reached for a nearby bottle of milk while staring lovingly into Jinn's eyes.
Jinn stared back before surprising Kagami as he lent down and captured her lips in a tender kiss.
The silverette froze for a second before melting into the kiss, sighing reluctantly when he broke it off. "Onee-chan, Jinn-nii, get a room," Fubuki sighed longingly. Sometimes he quite simply felt out-of-place there - he felt like he was the only one who hadn't found a partner yet.
"It's… kinda awkward," Canard agreed, looking away a bit.
Kira chuckled. "Not that I'm complaining - considering how I am with Ryu and Lacus, that would be hypocritical - but the two of you might want to find someplace more private if you don't want to make the rest of the crew feel out of sorts."
"Well, I would, but I'm on my monthlies and I don't fancy the idea of… well, it's not really something any girl should be talking about," Kagami mused between chugging a bottle of milk, only to shake it a bit and realize it was already empty after a while. She simply shrugged and pulled out another bottle from the bag she had been carrying around.
"Oh-hoh… so that's your secret," Mir said as she sent a pointed look to Kagami's rather sizable… assets. "Good to know…"
"I don't think I've ever kept it a secret though," Kagami tapped a finger against her chin in thought. "…Have I?"
"Well, you certainly haven't declared it openly," Kira remarked. "If you could call just doing it without calling attention to it 'keeping it secret', then that would be a yes."
"Still… it explains a lot with the amount she drinks…" Jade muttered. "I'm starting to wonder if she just stores it all in those 'jugs' of hers…"
"Well…" Kagami cast a short look at Jinn. "Um… I don't know?" she found herself surprisingly speechless as she set down another empty bottle.
"I don't think that's true, your milk tastes better," Jinn commented distractedly, his focus on his tablet computer where he was going through several complex algorithms, he paused in his work as he blinked and looked up at his girlfriend fearfully. "Uh oh…"
Kagami, for once was going as red as Hanami usually did when she was nearing her limit. "Ji-Ji-Ji-Jinn-kun…" she stammered, her eyes darting around mechanically to gauge the others' reactions before practically teleporting behind Jinn and burying her face in his back while attempting to hide as much of her body as she could behind him.
"Wow…" Jade said, her voice actually shocked. "Kagami-chan drinks so much milk… she lactates…"
Fubuki was covering his ears and banging his head on the table. "I did NOT need to hear that. I did NOT need to hear that," he repeated over and over monotonously, deciding that he absolutely needed to learn how to hypnotize himself to forget certain things. Seeing your sister make out with her boyfriend was one thing, but finding out exactly what they did together in private was an ENTIRELY different thing.
Mir's jaw was near the floor in response as she stared, her eye twitching slightly. "…What?" she asked finally. "I think I'm hearing things… did… Jinn say what I thought he said?"
"I… think he did… Milly…" Tolle confirmed before he looked at Milly with a grin. "Do you think you ca-"
"HELL NO!" Milly shouted indignantly, punching her boyfriend.
"Just… what kind of Mercenary Guild is this…?" Canard asked, looking to his sister.
"One-of-a-kind, Little Brother…" Kira replied, still looking at Jinn and Kagami in shock. "One-of-a-kind…"
"Oh dear sweet merciful god in heaven," Dearka breathed out in amazement. "I don't believe it. I'm pretty sure I heard it, but I'm still working on believing it."
"I HEAR NOTHING! I SEE NOTHING!" Yzak cried out loudly, his eyes closed and hands over his ears. "LALALALALALALALALALA!"
"Wow…" Shinn remarked.
"Agreed…" Flay added.
Nicol was blushing up a storm. "Dear lord… this is embarrassing…" he muttered.
Jinn groaned in response. "Sorry, Kagami-chan," he said to his embarrassed girlfriend. "I just spoke without thinking…"
"We-we-well… I actually um… I… I spe-specially… tra-trained my-myself for tha-that…" Kagami whispered so quietly only Jinn could hear it.
'SO THAT'S WHY!' an equally embarrassed Hanami shouted indignantly from the back of her mind.
"Really?" Jinn asked in surprise, making sure to ask softly for her sake. "…Why?"
"I-I thought it wo-wo-would make do-do-doing it more… en-enjoyable," Kagami stammered, still refusing to meet everyone else's eyes. "So-so I bought a-a bre-breast pump as so-soon as I-I could without any-anyone knowing…"
Jinn blinked twice in response to her statement before turning around so that he could wrap his arms around her and whispered into her ear. "I enjoy it," he informed. "Very much so…"
The silverette froze at her boyfriend's words as her blush spread completely to her chest and steam started coming out from her ears. "Ji-Jinn-kun…" In a rare moment, her brain overloaded and she passed out, pulling Hanami to the forefront of their shared mind.
"Eh?" Hanami blinked in surprise as she looked up, finding everyone still staring at her. Kagami's blush instantly resurrected on her full force and she let out a loud, "Eeep," before passing out as well.
"Oh my god… a double KO," Tolle breathed, wide eyed. "Jinn, what did you say dude?"
Jinn sent the Duel's pilot a glare before picking up his girlfriend bridal style and headed towards the exit of the mess hall. "Going to take Hanami-chan to our room," he informed before looking back at the others, a dark aura building up around him, some sort of creature appearing hazily behind him. "Speaking further of this matter… is Forbidden," he declared firmly before walking away.
There was a long pause as everyone else in the room started to digest exactly what Jinn had done.
"Oh, great, she taught it to him!" Yzak moaned.
"Wha… what the hell was that?" Kira asked, actually looking slightly afraid. "THAT, was in no way a Noh Mask…"
"N… No clue…" Flay replied. "If anything, though, it was scarier than the Noh Mask…"
Fubuki was busy scribbling out notes on a notepad, completely unaffected by the display. "I thought only the girls in our family could do that…" he muttered, apparently trying to figure out how to materialize one of his own.
Kira sighed, shaking her head, before checking the time. "Alright guys," she announced. "We've got final preps to make before our guest shows up, so get ready."
"You got it, Boss!" everyone called out.
Earth - Europe, Lodonia
Ryu hummed as he checked the lab out through a pair of binocs. "Busy place," he commented. "Crappy security though…"
"Agreed," Hughes replied. "You'd think that they'd have better security to keep people from seeing them train Child Soldiers…"
Ryu nodded in agreement as he looked back at the squad of Marines. "Lock and load, Marines," he commanded. "We're going in."
The Marines nodded, and the group advanced into Lodonia.
They slipped through the rather lazy sentry line, quietly taking out two of the unaware sentries and placing Fenrir Marines in their place before closing in on the complex. "They don't even have snipers…" Ryu whispered, shaking his head. "LOGOS sure is slack…"
"Probably not expecting anyone to attack this place…" Hughes whispered back. "Despite how much they profit off of war, I guess no one ever told them Murphy's Laws of Combat."
Ryu snorted softly in response. "Remember, we're here to secure the place for the real OMNI officials to come in," he informed. "I already sent word to Halberton and he's going to have his men move in on a 'training run'."
"Understood, Boss," the Marines replied.
Ryu nodded as they slipped into the complex, moving for the control center, the few patrolling guards or scientist they came across were quickly taken out and hidden.
"Man, they must have believed no one would attack this place…" Hughes whispered. "Lax security everywhere, and way more scientists than soldiers!"
Ryu nodded in agreement. "Yeah, let's hope they don't decide to try and sic the kids after us," he murmured. "There's the control room, fast and quiet everyone."
They nodded, prepping their guns as they approached the control room.
Ryu quickly hacked the door control and opened in, and the group piled in, their silenced weapons quickly taking out the few people manning the station with minimal fanfare. "Put this place on lockdown," Ryu ordered. "And radio Halberton to come in."
"Roger," one of the Marines replied.
"Boss, we got hostiles coming in, they were in the hallways," one of the Marines informed.
"Only one door, guard it," Ryu ordered, joining them as they flipped a metal desk and put it up against the door, creating a impromptu barricade. "OPEN FIRE!"
The marines opened up with their rifles, creating a barrage of fire into the hallway and approaching hostiles.
"Bring up the HMG!" Ryu ordered as a Marine unslung a .50 cal and set it up on the overturned desk before opening fire on the soldiers. "How long till Halberton gets here?"
"Around 5-10 minutes!" the Marine at communications said.
"Got it!" Ryu shouted back. "Hold 'em back boys!"
"Roger!" the Marines at the door replied as they continued unloading their weapons.
The gunfire continued on for another seven minutes before a new round of gunfire joined the fray, flanking the LOGOS soldiers. "Reinforcements, check your fire!" Ryu shouted out.
Between the marines and the reinforcements, the remaining soldiers were quickly mopped up.
"Thanks for you help," One of the OMNI soldiers under Halberton's command told the Marines. "We have medical teams incoming now, going to be hard finding where to bring all the kids, though…"
"Yeah… they'll have been through a lot…" Hughes replied.
Ryu nodded in agreement as they walked through the hallways, looking through the cell doors as the field medics check the children one-by-one, he suddenly paused at one child in particular who was huddled up in the corner, she looked to be no older than 14 with raggedly cut blond hair and scared Violet colored eyes.
Looking at her Ryu felt the stirrings of a parental protectiveness towards the scared girl. "Hey," he said softly to the girl, a kind smile on his face as he slowly entered into the cell. "My name's Ryu, what's yours?"
"S… Stella…" the girl replied.
"What a cute name for such a cute girl," Ryu said, smiling at her encouragingly as he crouched down to her level. "Are you hurt, Stella?"
"N… no…" she replied, though she certainly looked and sounded terrified.
"You can trust me Stella," Ryu informed. "I won't let the bad men get to you… what's wrong?"
"I… I can't remember…" she replied. "I can't remember my home… my family… all I know is my name…"
Ryu frowned for a moment, a sinking sensation in his stomach, before smiling at her. "Then I'll be your family," he declared. "If you want me to be, I'll be your dad if you want me too."
Stella looked at him in surprise for a moment, then gave a timid nod. "I… I do think I'd like that…" she said.
Ryu held out his hand for her to take. "You'll have a family again, Stella," he told her. "A Mom, and even a little brother…"
"I'd like that a lot…" Stella replied.
Ryu smiled again as Stella took his hand. "How about we get the nice doctor to look you over, to make sure you're alright, okay?" he asked her. "Then we can go home."
"Alright…" Stella replied. "Thank you… Daddy…"
Ryu smiled as he guided her out of the cell and to where a medic was standing by.
Mendel Colony - The Next Day
"And here he comes…" Kira remarked as they watched the ZAFT Commando shuttle approaching on the exterior security cameras. "Everything ready, Kagami?"
"You bet!" Kagami grinned as she checked the magazines of the dual handguns she was carrying before sliding them into the holsters on her waist.
"Then let's get started pranking Rau le Creuset, and any Mooks he brought with him!" she called out. "And how about we make it a competition? Whoever can prank Rau or any of his Mooks the longest is the winner - bonus points if we can prank him into one of the lethal traps, or if we can get multiple hostiles with a single trap."
"Sounds good to me, Kira-san!" Kagami nodded as she surveyed the rest of the people in the room. "But how about we make it more fair by introducing a panel of judges to score us? It's a little hard for us to keep track of each individual trap out there, and admittedly some of the traps are less impressive than others."
"I'm in," Mu immediately raised his hand. "This is going to be fun, seeing that masked bastard finally get humiliated before he dies."
"I guess three judges would be just nice…" Kagami tapped her finger on her chin in thought for a moment before pointing a finger in the direction of the blue-haired former ZAFT commando. "So I'll pick Athrun! Kira-san, you can pick one more."
"Alright…" Kira replied, thinking about it. "I'll pick Canard."
Carard blinked in response, looking at the two of them. "Alright… I suppose," he agreed uncertainly.
"I… guess I can do it…" Athrun added.
"I wish I could pick Jinn-kun, but that's just plain conflict of interest," Kagami sighed, leaning into her boyfriend apologetically.
Jinn shrugged a bit. "I'll still enjoy watching everything," he informed, pointing to the array of monitors set up. "I look forward to it actually."
"And so will we!" Jade replied, coming into the command center with Shinn, Flay, and Lacus, all of them carrying large packages.
"What are those?" Kagami asked curiously, trying to figure out what was in the packages.
"Popcorn!" Jade cheered. "Figured those of us watching in the Command Center here could use something to munch on while we watch Old Mask Face get his comeuppance, and what better snack than Popcorn?" Each of them set their packages on the ground, opening them to reveal they were filled with popped Popcorn. "Got enough for everyone!" She grinned.
"Excellent," Tolle said as he rubbed his hands together. "This'll be awesome."
"Agreed," Jade replied. "Have fun out there, Kira, Kagami - no matter which of you wins, we all win when le Creuset loses!"
"Right then," Kagami nodded as she turned towards Jinn and pressed her lips against his briefly. "For good luck!" the silverette smirked.
Kira then gave Lacus a kiss. "You'll definitely be safe here, Lacus," she said. "There's no way Rau will ever make it here, and if he somehow does, you have everyone else here to protect you."
Lacus nodded, smiling confidently at Kira. "I feel safe here, no doubt on that," she informed. "And it'll be nice to see a movie with you."
"Make sure it gets recorded - we'll need to show it to Ryu when he gets back, and I'd like to be able to watch it whenever we want," Kira informed, as she and Kagami started out of the Command Center.
"Rau and his team are now inside of Mendel and making an approach on the Archangel," Jinn informed. "Ladies and gentlemen, showtime."
"Right - sit back and enjoy, everyone!" Kira replied, as she and Kagami left the Command Center, and then split up to each of their different trap sets.
"And they're off," Mu announced, stepping in as an impromptu announcer. "This is Fenrir's first annual Prank Off, this years target, as it is a very special day, is Rau le Creuset and his team, the rules are simple, aside from ensuring no collateral damage to the ship, there are none! And the lovely ladies must use whatever is on this ship, for safety the hangar has been locked down completely, no need to damage the ship by using the mobile suits, right?"
"RIGHT!" everyone else in the Command Center cheered, as they started munching on the Popcorn.
Kagami sprinted around a corner, making sure to check a portable terminal she was carrying around for the locations of Rau and his mooks. They had split up some time ago to cover more ground, so she smirked when she found out one of them was on the other side of the wall, and quite close to one of her traps nearby.
"Kira-san may have the advantage when it comes to battlefield experience…" she chuckled as she sidled up to the wall and began preparing her latest advancement in scaring tactics. "But I'm no slouch when it comes to creativity!"
On the other side of the wall, a ZAFT commando walking through the corridor felt a cold chill run down his spine, causing him to look to his side and pale slightly when he realized there was a small Noh mask poking out of the wall looking at him creepily. He decided to ignore it and kept going, only to find two of them around the next corner, their glowing red eyes following every step he took.
"What the hell?" he muttered, but kept on going in the other direction away from the masks - he felt like he needed to be anywhere else but near them.
Half a second later, he stepped on a tripwire and caused a few darts to come flying out of a concealed launcher, hitting him right in the buttocks and causing him to yelp in surprise as he spun around to aim at the source of the shots. As he did, a time-delayed trigger activated by the same tripwire caused a set of paintball guns to go off in his face, blinding him. After that, as he was taking off his helmet in his panic, a high-pressure spray of fine powder came out from a fire extinguisher set up right above him, getting into his suit.
"That's itching powder by the way," Kagami whispered into the mike as she watched the mook stumble about with the darts still stuck in his ass.
'I almost feel sorry for him,' Hanami remarked. 'And we haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet.'
"And Hanami has the first blood!" Mu informed, both her and Kira had earbuds that were piped directly to Mu's commentary. "How will Kira respond to this?"
Kira, meanwhile, had gone into a place most people never looked - the Maintenance Shaft. She was using it to move virtually undetected throughout the ship, and was soon near one of the Flunkies. Noticing he was near one of her traps, she quietly opened the access panel, tossed out a flashbang, then closed the panel again.
When the flashbang went off, the ZAFT soldier stumbled away from it, stepping on a pressure switch. This triggered a stuttered volley of nailguns, the first two shooting their projectiles into his feet, nailing him to the floor. The next one hit him in the 'family jewels', causing him to screech in pain like a little girl. Then three more nailguns went off in rapid succession, all at his helmet visor - the first two cracking it, allowing the third to break through and hit the Flunkie right between the eyes.
"Part of me was hoping Rau would hit that one," Kira remarked. "Still, I have a few that will be even worse for him."
"Oh, now that looks painful." Mu commented. "His grandchildren must be hurting from it!"
"Ara, Kira-san going for the kill immediately? Isn't that kinda boring? It's more fun toying with them before dropping them in the lethal ones," Kagami taunted over the comms.
"Sometimes you need to kill them quickly, Kagami," Kira replied. "I'm wanting to try and deal with the Flunkies as soon as possible so I can concentrate on Rau. Don't worry, I do have non-lethal stuff, but I can't waste time on the small fry."
"Gah, you're no fun," Kagami pouted. "Oh well, this guy is getting close to one of my lethal trap chains anyway… excuse me for a moment."
The mook in question was attempting to fight off the urge to scratch the itches that had spontaneously developed all over him while running away from a large Noh mask that had formed behind him. When he saw an overturned table in the hallway ahead of him, he made to jump over it, but he yelped out in shock when he realized there were two toy trucks filled with glue behind it. His feet landed perfectly in them and he ended up rolling down the hallway uncontrollably as if he was on roller skates.
He ended up slamming right into a concrete wall ahead of him, while a pressure plate under him launched a cart down the hallway that swept him off his feet and carried him along in another direction until he went through an open doorway, launching him down a flight of stairs with a loud scream coming from his throat. At the very end of the stairs sat a long roll of flypaper that the mook ended up planting his face in. While he stumbled around trying to remove the flypaper, he slipped on an oiled part of the floor and ended up slamming his face into the ground again.
The next moment, the floor opened up, dumping him into an old septic tank that had already dried up, but remained nonetheless very much disgusting. He didn't have time to ponder it much when he smelled a strange smell in the air and a rapidly blinking light could be seen half-buried in the pile of human waste. "Oh shi-"
A muffled explosion ripped through the area nearby as Kagami snickered. "Methane gas plus proximity mine finisher!" she pumped her fist in the air.
"And that guy is barbeque!" Mu announced. "Although Hanami might lose points to collateral damage to the ship!"
"Oh come on, that was just one septic tank!" Kagami complained.
Kira, meanwhile, had found another of the Flunkies, and it looked like he was close to one of her non-lethal traps. 'Not that they aren't painful,' she thought to herself. 'I'm really vindictive when someone goes after my loved ones… especially when it's one of my lovers being targeted.'
Another Flashbang sent him stumbling into the trap, where paintguns fired into his visor, forcing him to pull off his helmet. Then he got nailed by a dart in the butt, causing him to spin around… in time for a knife blade on a swinging arm to impale him in the 'family jewels'.
"Ouch! Looks like Kira has got it in for a certain part of the anatomy of the male body!" Mu shouted. "Just remember to vary it up to keep the viewers interest!"
"Oh, I will," Kira replied into the microphone. "But these assholes are after Lacus, and I'm in a rather vindictive mood. The ones Kagami's taking are lucky, and Rau should hope she runs into him first if he wants to preserve his nuts."
"Somehow I doubt he'll be walking into those traps that easily," Kagami remarked as she stalked another one of the mooks, using her Noh masks to unnerve him. "Ah, nonlethal trap cluster."
The mook in question was already starting to break into a run to get away from the creepy masks, but as he rounded a corner he ended up sticking his boots on a large patch of glue. A few flamethrowers swung out from the ceiling to point at him, purposely not firing so the mook practically jumped out of his boots to head in the other direction.
That was when he ran into another corridor filled with Lego pieces and marbles strewn about the floor. "You have got to be kidding me," he muttered, before casting a fearful look back as the flamethrowers began to fire.
Needless to say, he ran down the corridor, cursing and swearing whenever his unprotected feet stepped on the Lego pieces or slipped on a marble. At the very end, he took a short break, leaning against a wall to rest and noticing a blinking light on the floor on top of a flat circular object.
A second later, the entire corridor and his entire front were splattered with gold and silver paint, forcing him to take off his visor in time for a gas canister to drop out of the ceiling and fill the place with stink gas.
"Oh my word, it looks like he ate some of that gas!" Mu shouted in amusement. "This is getting good! Oh look, Rau le Creuset has been sighted in residential hallway four!"
"Oh, crap… that's near Shiro's room!" Kira said. "I am not letting him get to my son! Gonna have to finish this one fast… Ah, perfect!"
Kira sent off another Flashbang, this time sending the Flunkie into a Flamethrower-filled hallway. With his balls still in pain, the Flunkie couldn't get out of the way before the Flamethrowers went off, barbecuing him rather quickly.
"Oh! That man is gonzo!" Mu shouted. "Now all that's left is a certain masked bastard."
Kira hurried through the maintenance shafts to residential hallway four. If Rau so much as threatened Shiro's safety, he was going to die a horrible death.
"Oh, come on, I'm not even done with mine yet!" Kagami complained, contemplating calling off the competition right then and there to go help Kira with Shiro. But the flunkie could still do something else if left unchecked, and she could just simply speed off once he stepped on a trap leading into a trap chain… Yep, she was ending the guy first.
'Got it, but let's make it quick, Kagami-chan,' Hanami agreed.
"You don't need to tell me twice, Hanami-chan," Kagami muttered under her breath.
The mook had stumbled out of the gas cloud still smelling like he had been dunked in one-month old poop and covered in bright paint. Grumbling, he wrinkled his nose and rushed off to continue his mission, this time staying more alert… at least until the Noh masks appeared and started chasing him again.
In his distraction he failed to notice the tripwire near the floor, but he felt it go off, causing a dart filled with muscle relaxant to shoot out of a concealed launcher and hit him right in the leg, causing it to go slack and make him collapse to the ground and slide along on an oiled part of the floor until he hit the wall. At that point, another dart filled with a powerful laxative shot into his butt, causing him to groan out as he attempted to control his bowels, but to no effect as the smell in the corridor seemed to intensify several times and he felt a vague wet feeling in his pants.
He didn't really have time to do anything else as a cart came barreling down the corridor and swept him along for the ride before launching him into an electrified fence that had been set up across the corridor, causing him to almost instantly gain a frizzled afro for a hairdo that he had relatively little time to enjoy before a nailgun nailed him right in the man parts and a flamethrower went off right in his face.
Kagami was already racing towards Rau's last known position, skillfully avoiding all of the traps in the way with Hanami's help.
"Oh, that man never knew what hit him, and uh oh, Kira is closing in on Rau! What does she have in store for the masked idiot?"
"Whatever I have in store will be amplified a hundred-fold if he so much as threatens Shiro!" Kira declared in reply.
"I'd like a piece of him too! Anyone who dares to use children as hostages should go get kicked by a horse into the river Styx and get carted off to see the shinigami!" Kagami added fiercely.
"Hoping I can get to him before he reaches Shiro's room - we collaborated on the traps blocking it off, remember?"
"Yeah, but I get the feeling they aren't going to be enough. Mask Face's on an entirely different level compared to the mooks we've been whacking around, right?" Kagami pulled out her handguns as she rolled over a table onto a handstand between a pair of flowerpots filled with hot coal, then flipped off it while dodging a tripwire.
"Like hell he will harm one hair on my son's head," Kira growled angrily. "Today… he dies…"
"Should we just abort and get everyone else to come help deal with him?" Kagami asked.
"No, I will kill him myself, with my bare hands if I have to," Kira declared. "I am putting an end to the threat this man poses, and the insanity he brings about with his mere existence."
"Alright, but we'll be standing by and ready to help if anything goes wrong," the silverette slowed her pace slightly.
"Thank you, Kagami-chan," Kira said gratefully. "I'm just about there…"
"Good luck over there, Kira-san!" Kagami grinned. "Give him a good kick in the ass all the way into the river Styx for us!"
"I will," Kira swore solemnly.
Ryu and Kira's Quarters
Rau le Creuset cursed as he dodged the increasingly more lethal traps that lined the hallway he was travelling down, the mission to assassinate the 'Pink Princess' was long gone, no doubt on that, but… there was the potential for another success to arise from the mission, specifically, the kidnapping of the child of a Ultimate Soldier and the Ultimate Coordinator, it would a most useful tool in the feature.
Coming up to the door, he motioned for the surviving soldier of his squad to breach the door, doing so, he inadvertently set off a trap that ended up puncturing both of his lungs and slicing his jugular.
Letting out a small 'tsk', Rau entered the room and grinned at the sight of a newborn inside of the crib, a lone woman standing protectively before him with a simple knife. Her dark brown eyes glaring fiercely at the commander, with her shoulder length brown hair pulled into a ponytail.
"Well now… I suggest you get out of my way, woman," he informed as he held his pistol. "No need for you to die."
"Of course there's no need for me to die, because I'll be taking you down right here, Rau le Creuset!" the woman growled.
Rau grinned at the woman's declaration as he aimed towards the crib, the woman's eye widening, putting herself between Rau and Shiro right before the blond pulled the trigger, the fired bullet impacting into her stomach, causing her eyes to bulge out in shock, but, even with the pain and the blood loss, Alexia Anderson, the caretaker of Shiro Hisanaga, was a commando, forcing her body to move she hurled the knife at Rau, forcing the blonde to dodge, seconds before grabbing Shiro and ducked into a hidden door that Ryu and Kira had installed for a quick escape, for moments just like this, and bolted the door behind her as she held the crying Shiro.
"CREUSET!" Rau paused as he heard the enraged scream of one pissed off mother as Kira slammed into the room, her eyes zeroing in instantly on Rau who quickly spun and fired a shot.
Throwing herself into a roll, Kira dodged the bullet and ran at Rau, quickly making side to side movements to force him to continually readjust his aim, only Rau's Spatial Awareness saved him as he managed to dodge Kira's right hook, although her follow up kick managed to get his gun out of his grasp.
Growling, Rau retaliated with a palm thrust that Kira swayed out of the way of and sent a punch to his face in return, knocking his mask off to reveal the face of Al da Flaga.
Kira wasn't even fazed - both from already knowing and her rage making her care even less - as she kept up her assault, numerous combat missions and continuous training pushing her forward as the pair kept at it, even when Rau managed to break three of her ribs, she broke his left arm in retaliation, when he broke her nose, she broke his right leg.
And even with numerous broken bones they kept fighting, turning it into a simple and brutal slugfest, Rau, fighting out of desperation, Kira, fighting out of a need to protect her son. "JUST DIE! RAU LE CREUSET!" Kira screamed out as she managed to knock him onto his back.
Quickly mounting him, she rained blows down upon his face, Rau feebly attempting to defend himself as his body, weakened both from the fight and lack of medication necessary for his cloned body to live, as she continually punched his face, even after his body was stilled completely, and her knuckles broken and bleeding.
"Kira-san!" Kagami rushed into the room and stared for a moment at Kira still beating up the corpse of the ZAFT ace. "Uh, Kira-san, he's already dead," she laid a hand on Kira's shoulders softly.
Kira jerked as she whirled on Kagami, her fist hurtling towards the silverette's face only to freeze right before it came into contact. "Ka… gami?" Kira whispered hesitantly.
"Eep," the silverette backed off slightly from the still-outstretched fist, her legs slightly wobbly from how close she had come to eating a knuckle sandwich. "Ye-yeah… Anyway, I know you really want him dead, but I'm pretty sure there's only 100% dead and there's no such thing as 150% dead, which you seemed to be going for."
Kira blinked a couple of times as she looked around. "Oh, god, Shiro! Alex!" Kira shouted out desperately. "I heard a gunshot!"
Kagami's eyes widened as she looked over to the crib where Shiro had been lying. She studied the splatter of blood on the ground, following it as it led to the hidden door the two had escaped through. "Where does that lead?" she quickly pointed it out.
"An emergency exit," Kira explained quickly, desperation in her voice. "It comes out at the Hangar! Where's that button… there!"
The door slid open once more, only to reveal a heavily breathing brunette commando leaning against the wall just inside the passage still holding onto a crying Shiro. Even as Kira ran over to recover her son, Alexia slumped, clutching her bleeding wound. "Nice work… boss…" she forced out a grin through her pain.
"Alex!" Kira shouted as she knelt next to the woman, Kagami quickly picking up Shiro as she tried to soothe him. "Hold on, you'll be alright, who said I gave you permission to die?"
"It's just a flesh wound…" Alexia kept her grin. "Just a day… or two in the infirmary and I'll be fine."
Kira chuckled tearfully. "Alex, you are so getting a raise," she promised. "How's Shiro, Kagami?"
"Needing his mama!" Kagami was attempting to calm down the crying baby frantically, trying just about everything short of smothering him in her chest.
Kira gave her a kind, understanding smile as she took her son from Kagami's arms, with him calming down almost instantly. "Don't worry Shiro-chan, momma's got you, the bad man won't hurt you," she cooed soothingly. "Kagami, can you get Alex to the infirmary?"
"Yup!" Kagami chirped as she knelt down beside Alexia. "Come on, the less time you have to bleed out, the better."
"Thank you," Alexia grunted out as she leaned against Kagami's shoulder. "See ya soon, boss."
Kira nodded in agreement as she gave her sitter a sad look before turning back to Shiro. "Let's go and get someone to clean this mess up…" she sighed out. "And I'm sure you're a starving little man."
Shiro's reply came in the form of a loud gurgle from his stomach.
Thirty Minutes Later - Mess Hall
"Well, glad that Old Mask Face is finally done," Mu remarked, using Victor's preferred derogatory nickname for le Creuset.
"I wonder what ZAFT will do now, though… since we to-took out their best ace…" Hanami murmured as she rested her head on Jinn's shoulder in exhaustion. She was practically fighting to keep her eyes open to stay in the conversation, Kagami having swapped out to rest as well.
"Try to sweep it under the rug, most likely," Jinn commented, placing a hand around his girlfriend's shoulder. "After all, they just tried to assassinate the 'Pink Princess' of the PLANTs and kidnap the son of the 'Pink Princess'' friends."
"I thought Lacus-sama being here was supposed to be a secret?" Fubuki asked.
"Not everything remains a secret unfortunately," Shinn commented, his hand gripping both Jade's and Flay's. "And we are kinda making noise here so to speak."
"Yeah," Kira replied. "Still, glad that we managed to keep both Lacus and Shiro safe… and Alexia's definitely getting a raise after this."
"She de-definitely deserves it," Hanami agreed and let out a small yawn.
The rest of the crew nodded in agreement to Kira's statement. "C'mon, Hanami-chan, let's get you back to our room," Jinn urged gently. "We can take a nap there."
"Alright… I-I think I need to go visit the gym more…" the silverette yawned again as she stood up and leaned gently against Jinn's side. "I need more exercise…"
Jinn chuckled lightly as he guided her. "Whatever you say, dear," he agreed. "I'll even help you with it, maybe teach you the Hand-to-Hand style Ryu showed me."
A weak nod was all he managed to get from the exhausted Hanami.
Kira giggled as she watched her brother-in-law leave the room with his girlfriend. "So cute," she informed before looking down at Shiro who was gurgling happily in her arms. "Aren't they, Shiro-chan?"
"That they are," Lacus informed as she wrapped an arm around Kira. "Just like you."
Kira giggled as she leaned into Lacus, letting out a relaxed sigh. "Thank you Lacus, although… when you and Ryu were taking that nap together before he left… you were pretty adorable yourself," she commented with a smile.
Lacus giggled. "You think so?" she asked.
"I do," Kira confirmed, giving her earlobe a light nibble. "And the fact you were drooling on Ryu's chest only made it more adorable."
Lacus moaned slightly. "Oh… Kira… perhaps we can go to our room for a little bit?"
Kira grinned. "Jade, be a dear and look after Shiro for a while, will you?" she voluntold the expectant mother as she handed Shiro off before her and Lacus disappeared from the room.
Jade grinned. "Looks like your mothers are about to have some fun, Shiro," she remarked.
Captain's Quarters
* * * LEMON ALERT! * * *
Kira moaned as she and Lacus kissed deeply, the brunette pushing her lover against a wall and lifting her up as they kissed, Lacus' legs wrapping around her waist as she was lifted. "You're really turning me on right now," Kira panted lustfully. "You know that right?"
"Yes…" Lacus moaned, already feeling her pussy beginning to dampen. "I can tell… and I'm feeling hot, too… even though Ryu isn't here… please, Kira… take me…"
Kira growled lustfully as she practically threw Lacus onto the bed before peeling away the dress Lacus had been wearing, revealing the pink princess' supple flesh to her eyes. "Oh, I plan on it, Lacus," she informed before diving in to kiss along her jaw, slowly moving down Lacus' body. "I plan on taking every inch of this body."
Lacus moaned from the sensation of Kira's mouth on her skin, her hands reaching up to entangle themselves in Kira's hair as the brunette made her way down her body…
Kira smirked as she made her way to Lacus' breasts and latched onto one, and began to suckle it, causing the pinkette to squirm underneath her as a bit of milk leaked from her breast. "Oh… lactating already, Lacus?" Kira asked in pleasent surprise. "Tasty."
"Th… thank you, Kira…" Lacus moaned out. "It… it feels so good~."
Kira grinned as she kept up the 'milking' of her lover, one of her hands going to Lacus' other breast to began teasing the milk out of that one as her other hand dipped to Lacus' wet pussy to begin teasing her entrance.
Lacus' breath hitched as she felt Kira's hand beginning to tease her pussy. "Kira… Yes… that feels so good~" she moaned.
Kira swallowed a mouthful of Lacus' milk before grinning. "I'm just getting started," she informed before moving down lower so that her head was in between the pinkette's legs and began to slowly lick the entrance.
"Ah!" Lacus gasped at the feeling of Kira's tongue on her pussy, driving her pleasure even higher. "Yes! Kira! Keep going!"
Kira continued to push her tongue in deeper into Lacus' snatch, moaning in pleasure at the taste of Lacus' pussy.
Lacus screamed out in pleasure, pushing Kira's head deeper into her crotch, letting her tongue go as deeply as possible. "Yes!" she cried. "Don't stop!" Already, a coil was beginning to build within her…
Kira complied with her wish as she dove in deeper into her pussy, her nose rubbing up against her clit. "Cum, Lacus, cum for me," Kira said in a muffled voice as she continued to eat out Lacus.
"CUMMING!" Lacus screamed, seconds before she came, her juices pouring out from her pussy.
Kira quickly lapped up the pinkette's tasty juices before pulling back and quickly removed her own clothing until she was naked and pulled on a double sided strap on. "Ready for the main course, Lacus?"
Lacus nodded, panting, as she looked down at the strap on. "Yes…" she moaned out. "Fill me…"
Kira grinned as she pushed the strap on into Lacus' pussy, moaning as it caused the second end to shift around inside of herself. "Ah~" Kira moaned as her hands found their way to Lacus' breasts, both to massage them and to use them as hand holds as she thrusted into Lacus' pussy.
"Uhn~" Lacus moaned as the dildo thrust in and out of her pussy, not quite as hard or large as Ryu's when he got going, but still filling her up nicely, the hands massaging her breasts also bringing her pleasure back up. "Kira… I love you…"
"Me… too… Lacus…" Kira panted out between her thrusts, leaning into capture Lacus' lips in a passionate kiss. "I always will…"
"Thank you… Kira…" Lacus moaned out, returning the kiss, her arms wrapping around Kira's neck to pull her closer.
"Lacus, I'm… going to cum!" Kira announced after a few moments of making out.
"M… me too… Kira!" Lacus replied. "Let's… cum… together!"
Kira cried out as she clutched to the pinkette tighter. "Cumming!"
Lacus screamed her pleasure to the heavens as she came, her juices coating the dildo as her pussy walls spasmed around it.
Kira mirrored Lacus' scream as she came, her juices mingling with Lacus' as they held each other tightly, panting as they tried to regain their breath. "I… needed that…" Kira informed with a content smile.
"Yeah… I think I did, too…" Lacus replied. "Too bad Ryu wasn't here to join us… but I definitely enjoyed it…"
Kira giggled in agreement. "True, but… I think we can give him a very warm welcome when he returns," she commented impishly before nuzzling Lacus' neck. "I'm glad you're here, Lacus."
"I'm glad I'm here, too, Kira," Lacus replied, contentedly relaxing into Kira's embrace. "My home is here, with you and Ryu… I'm contemplating retiring quietly from the music industry, so that I can marry the two of you and not have to deal with paparazzi all the time…"
"It would be nice, to be honest," Kira agreed. "I want everyone to know how much we love each other."
"Yeah," Lacus replied, then subconsciously shifted her hips, causing the dildo to shift inside her and cause her pleasure to start to rise again. "Kira… you feeling up for more?"
Kira giggled as she nibbled Lacus' ear and rolled her hips. "Sounds like fun…" she informed. "Let's do it!"
Lacus moaned as they began again. Thankfully the room was soundproofed, so no one else would be able to hear them.
* * * END LEMON! * * *
END CHAPTER
(BACK BY POPULAR REQUEST!)
Things Not to Do on the Archangel
Rule One: NO ONE is to mention what Hanami/Kagami had trained herself to do, punishment will be doled out by Pilot Jinn.
Addendum A: Hanami/Kagami retain the right to join in depending on their mood.
Addendum B: Any demonic Noh Masks or creatures seen lurking around the ship should this happen shall be ignored for the sake of the rest of the crews' sanity.
Rule Two: The following items are not to be touched by anyone save for who they meant for.
THE KITCHEN! - Hanami
MY COMPUTERS! - Jinn
The Workshop, if you please. - Athrun, Kira and Ryu
Anyone Touches Kira's Cookies, DIES! - Ryu
Rule Three: Do NOT attempt to lock Hanami away from her milk supply during her monthlies.
"Hanami-chan, what are you doing with that chainsaw?" - Jinn
"Umm, I just feel the need to get into the fridge, but it's locked… Wait, why am I carrying a chainsaw?" - a clueless Hanami
Rule Four: The two words 'Meat Boxers' are not to be said around Yzak unless he needs to be put in line.
"Please don't mention those two words…" - Yzak
Rule Five: Similarly, the word 'Trap' is not to be said around Dearka unless he's been chasing skirts again.
"Please don't mention that word…" - Dearka
