A/N: A short chapter - but a pivotal one.

Chapter Five

Harry was sat eating his lunch, in his office – he was trying to eat and do paperwork at the same time. Picking up half a cheese sandwich he smiled at the memory the cheese sandwich had stirred in him.

Harry had been living with Draco for a few months now and things were going really well. They were once again hanging out in the living room. Harry had explained to Draco that his latest boyfriend got upset because he didn't say, 'I love you' back when he told Harry that he loved him.

"I tried to explain that I am reluctant to say that, because I have to be 100% sure before I can commit to saying it. He wasn't happy." Harry explained, why he couldn't understand.

Draco agreed with him, "I know exactly what you mean. People tend to throw the word 'love' around like it's nothing. They say it so often, 'I love these shoes' or 'I love chocolate' it diminishes the weight of the word. The word 'love' is used so loosely that its meaning has become diluted. The truth is, 'love' often is used to describe other emotions or strong feelings. Using the word 'love' just saves us the trouble of having to figure out what we're actually feeling. You might as well say 'I cheese sandwich you' for all it matters."

Harry had laughed at him, mainly for picking cheese sandwich as his example replacement for love. But he understood what Draco was saying and even agreed with him.

Harry often thought of Draco during the day. He wondered if he ever crossed Draco's mind, and if so how often.

Harry had decided to go out on a boy's night out, with his old Gryffindor dorm mates. Draco had a date with Antony and usually Draco would take a step up in his relationships after the third date. Harry did not want to be home for that. Instead he was in a noisy pub, half drunk and having a great time. Only occasionally worrying about what Draco and Antony were getting up to.

Harry stumbled through the front door at 1am and headed for the bathroom. Someone was in there so he waited in the hall. A few moments later Antony stepped out.

"Oh Harry. Sorry I didn't realise you were waiting." He informed him.

Harry stared wide eyed at him. He was in his boxers and Draco's dressing gown, it was hanging open. Harry suddenly felt sick. Antony and Draco had obviously done something, for him to still be here at 1am and half naked. Harry frantically thought.

"Harry? You okay? You seem out of sorts. Shall I get Draco?" Antony offered.

Harry flung his hand out to halt Antony, "No. don't get Draco. He had to help me the other week when I was drunk, I don't think he will appreciate doing at again. Thank you anyway." He politely said. Even though he wanted to punch the smug git in the face.

"Okay if you are sure. See you tomorrow." He returned to Draco's room.

Once in his room Harry made sure he cast a silencing spell, he didn't want to hear any sexual noises. He kicked the leg of his bed and swore as pain shot through his foot.

Why didn't I tell Draco how I felt? Now he's in another relationship. Harry couldn't believe his own stupidity.

Harry walked into the kitchen and wished he hadn't. Draco was kissing Antony. Harry was about to turn around and leave, bur Draco caught his eye and he broke away from Antony.

"Morning Harry" Draco cheerfully called in greeting.

Too cheerfully – he's had sex. Harry summarised in his head.

"Morning Draco, Antony." He replied, heading for the coffee machine.

It was annoying because Harry had to do everything the muggle way – no magic. Because Antony was here and he had no clue they were wizards.

He tried to ignore the other two men.

"I'd better go Draco. I have lunch plans and then work tonight." Antony sounded reluctant to leave.

You would be to if you had sex with Draco the night before and most likely this morning. Harry complained.

"Okay if you must go. Come I'll walk you to the door." Draco sounded full of warmth and happiness.

Harry banged the kitchen cupboards getting a bowl and cereal. Draco returned a few moments later, a smile gracing his face.

"Antony told me of your early morning meeting. Said you looked drunk – a bit sick too. Did Finnegan challenge you to a drinking contest again?" Draco teased.

Harry frowned, "I wasn't that drunk actually. I just saw your boyfriend practically naked and his old man's body made me want to barf." He childishly replied.

Draco's smile vanished, replaced with outrage. "He does not have an old man's body, he's thirty five for fuck sake Potter. Don't get jealous because you aren't getting any." He snapped.

Harry felt sick again, "So you admit you had sex then?" he asked.

Draco glared at Harry, "Well isn't that obvious. Yes we had sex, three times if you want to know. Fucking hell Harry, why are you so touchy? You know I usually discuss my partners with you, it doesn't normally bother you. Is it because you don't like Antony?"

Harry stood. Yes he usually discussed all the details of their sex lives, but that was before he realised his true feelings for Draco.

"No he's okay I guess. I don't know him well enough, but your happy so whatever." Harry coolly said.

Draco stared at him, searching his face. "Whatever seems to be a fitting word? Whatever Potter, I have things to do." He left Harry staring after him.

Three times. Three times Antony got to sleep with Draco. That just seemed entirely unfair and crappy.

Harry floo'ed to Hermione's and sulked over a cup of tea. Ron was at the burrow helping re-decorate the downstairs. Hermione opted to stay at home and catch up with housework. Taking advantage of not having Ron under her feet.

"Harry just tell me why you look so miserable, it's eating me up not knowing." She blurted after watching him in silence for some time.

"I'm going to tell you because it's killing me. I have started getting feelings for Draco, in the romantic sense and it's driving me insane. He has a new boyfriend and I want to rip his head off and I can't." He whined.

"Hmm sounds like me when Ron was seeing Lavender. You need to evaluate your feelings. If they are strong enough to risk your friendship then confess to Draco. He may return your feelings, if not if your friendship is strong enough it might survive the set back." She advised him.

"I know. It is so difficult. He walks around half naked, speaking pretty words with his gorgeous mouth, being all confident and just damn stunning. Shall I tell him now or wait until he's single again?" he calmly asked after his rant about Draco and his attraction to him.

"As soon as you are ready. He may never be single again if you wait. This new boyfriend may become serious and he might stay with him." She warned.

Harry knew she was right, he would calm down and tell Draco next week sometime. Then he can move on, Draco can either accept him or reject him – either way its moving forwards. Better than this frozen nothing he was stuck in.

Harry had told Liam that he wasn't ready to get serious with him and that he was sorry he led him on. It was two weeks after his talk with Hermione that Harry had managed to tell Draco how he felt. It didn't go that well.

Draco and Antony had spent all morning and afternoon locked in Draco's room, only coming out for food. Kissing and groping in front of Harry. Eventually Antony left to go to work.

"Do you want to order a takeaway for tonight?" Draco asked Harry when he returned from kissing Antony goodbye.

Harry seemed to be in a funny mood. "What's up with you? Never mind I don't want to hear you moan about how Liam dumped you." Draco teased.

Harry glared at him, "Liam did not dump me. I told him I wasn't interested. Why can't you stay over at Antony's, its annoying when he stays as I can't do magic. It is unfair on me. At least if you stay at his there is no chance of your secret being found out."

Draco huffed, "I am entitled to bring my boyfriend home Harry. Stop acting like an arse."

"Whatever Malfoy" Harry grumbled.

"Whatever! Is that all you can say. You are so exasperating. What is your problem?" Draco demanded.

Harry stood and just snapped, "Do you really want to know? I mean really want to know?" he yelled.

Draco stepped closer, but he was still the other side of the room, "Yes I do"

Harry locked eyes with him and they stared at each other for a while, "I …"

"Out with it Scarhead" Draco frustratingly said.

"I fucking cheese sandwich you all right! Fucking hell Malfoy you are such a bastard." He then stormed off, locking his door and flinging himself on his bed.

Draco stared at the spot that Harry was stood in. It took a long time for the meaning of Harry's words to sink in.

His brain was thinking, what the hell is Potter on about? To realisation as he remembered their conversation about love a few months ago. He cheese sandwiches me? He loves me? He continued standing frozen to the spot.

Harry loves me! ME. Shit. He finally got his legs to move and climbed the stairs to Harry's room.

He knocked – no answer.

"Harry? Open the door. Harry." Draco called clearly through his door.

"Go away Malfoy. I am not in the mood for your piss taking or rejection. So just fuck off and leave me alone." Harry yelled. He was angry that he had blurted it out like that.

He was only meant to tell Draco he liked him and would gage his reaction. Instead he goes and blurts that he loves him. Christ what a fucking mess.

"Who says I will take the piss? You don't know that." Draco calmly said.

"I see you ignored the part about rejection. Trust me Draco your face said it all. I don't need your pity or your fucking smug face reminding me of the colossal mistake I just made." Harry had stopped yelling but he was still angry.

"I was shocked. Fuck Harry you can't just scream something like that in someone's face and expect them to be able to have a response within seconds." Draco snapped.

Harry ignored him.

"I'm not going to tell you how I feel about your confession unless you open the door and speak to me like a civilised person." Draco called.

"Then you will be silent forever, because I am not opening this door and you have reminded me on plenty of occasions that I am uncivilised. No surprise to you is it!" Harry whined.

He just couldn't open the door and see Draco's face right now.

"Harry please. How long have you um...cheese sandwiched me?" he wanted to know so badly.

Silence.

"Harry just answer the damn question!"

"Fuck off Malfoy"

"Will you stop calling me that? Harry come on let's talk about this." Draco reasoned.

"Sorry Draco I am busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?" Harry replied sarcastically.

"Argh you are so maddening! You make my blood boil at times. Just stop acting like a wounded dog and open the fucking door." Draco said as he kicked the door.

Draco heard the crack of apparation and swore out loud, knowing that Harry had just left.

Draco fire called Granger.

"Is Harry there please?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"Um no." she lied.

"Oh for crying out loud Granger. He is isn't he? Tell him when he decides to grow the fuck up, come find me so we can talk. He might be surprised! Stupid impulsive fucking tosser." Draco complained.

"Um well if I see him I will tell him" but she glanced to the right and Draco knew he was there.

"Whatever" he said knowing Harry would hear the word that Draco had moaned at Harry for using.

Meanwhile at Hermione's.

"So you going tell me why you apparated into my garden with an overnight bag? And why was Draco so agitated?" she rounded on Harry as soon as Draco ended the call.

Harry shifted from foot to foot. "I told him, no I screamed at him that I loved him and his face was frozen in pure horror. So I panicked and locked myself in my room. Then the git was talking to me through my door and wouldn't go away. So I packed a bag and apparated here. Sorry."

She shook her head and started making tea. "Ron is out on a stake out or something? I think he just sits around eating food and doing nothing, but he said it was important work."

Harry smiled, "It is. But you are right too, we do sit around and eat a lot of food."

"Why did Draco say you might be surprised if you went to talk to him?" Hermione logically asked.

Harry frowned, "Did he? All's I heard was, 'grow the fuck up' and 'stupid impulsive fucking tosser' I was trying to hide." Harry answered.

"Yes he said go talk to him, you might be surprised. So it could be a good surprise, go talk with him. What's the worst that can happen?" again she was being logical.

"He could laugh at me. Reject me. Throw me out and tell the whole wizarding world that Harry Potter loves Draco Malfoy and that I am a fool to do so." Harry voiced his concerns.

"Yeah but his tone of voice indicated anger, annoyance but with an underlying of softness – it will be a pleasant surprise I think." She concluded.

Harry took the tea and sipped at it, thinking over what she had said. "You really think so? You think I acted too rash?"

Hermione smiled, "Yes. To quote Draco, 'you are a stupid impulsive fucking tosser'" and she chuckled at Harry's face. She rarely swore.

Harry downed his tea and used Hermione's fireplace to floo home. The living room was empty. He climbed the stairs and knocked on Draco's door.

"Draco? Are you in there?" Harry hesitantly called.

The door opened and Draco moved to lean against the frame, eyes hard and arms folded. He raised his eyebrows at Harry but remained silent.

"Look I'm sorry I screamed at you and that I left. Also I was at Hermione's. But I'm not sorry for telling you how I feel. To answer your previous question, I have felt this way for some time. I didn't recognise my feelings. But once I acknowledged them, I looked back and realised that I've felt this way for a long time." He searched Draco's face for any signs of laughter or disgust. He saw none.

Draco's face was blank. His eyes had softened but they still didn't show Harry what Draco was thinking or feeling.

"Malfoy. Sorry, Draco please say something?" Harry was worried now, Draco had said he wanted to talk but he was silent.

"You owe me countless foot rubs now, just to make it up to me." He finally spoke.

Harry frowned, "What? Is that all you can say? You think I have to make it up to you because I love you? That's a bit unfair." Harry complained.

"No for screaming at me and leaving before you spoke with me." He corrected.

"Are you going to ignore what I said? What is your answer to my confession?" Harry glared at him.

"I have no answer, not until I speak with Antony." Draco replied.

Harry bristled, "Oh. I see. Night Draco." Harry said as he turned around.

Draco grabbed his wrist in a tight grip, "Stop being so sensitive. I only meant I cannot do anything further until I end things with Antony face to face. Then we can talk."

Harry relaxed, "Okay. Until then." Harry pulled his wrist free and went to his room.

Shit – Draco is going to end things with Antony. He will end things with a man he is happy with, just because I confessed my feelings. That has to be good right? Harry had a long debate in his head, falling into a restless sleep.