Chapter Ten
I Can Hear You, You Know
Mmhm, warm, Lily thought, as she snuggled more closely into her pillow.
Into her very warm, very comfortable, very... very much alive pillow.
Is it breathing?
Of course I'm breathing, you adorable dolt.
And when Lily heard this, of course, she reacted like the mature, seventeen year old witch that she is.
"AAAAAH!"
"Ow. Bloody hell Evans, no need to impair my hear—"
"What was that, Potter? I heard you. You didn't say anything. How could I hear you? I heard you."
"It's useless trying to put sense into you this early in the morning, isn't it?" James muttered dryly.
But Lily wasn't listening. Yesterday's events came rushing back to her like a whirlwind of paranoia and incredulity bundled up together.
Great Hall. Dinner. Exploding lemonade. Reading James' thoughts, literally.
Well.
That was just...
"Bloody hell!"
Just try and relax, Evans. It's not that big of a deal—
Not that big of a deal? Have you gone mental, Potter? And—
"Wait, why are we doing this?"
Because it's much more fun this way, silly.
Potter, seriou—argh!
"Stop that!"
"Alright, alright. Ruin the fun," James sulked.
"Fun?" Her eyes bugged out incredulously. "James, do you realize that we can hear everything that we are thinking?"
James grinned like a toddler.
"Yes I do, love."
Um, Potter? "Everything! Did you think that, perhaps, there may be a few things that we might not want the other to hear?"
"Oh, buggering hell."
I really have to stop thinking about—
About what?
Holy shit!
"James, let's just... Just head off to class, okay? Who knows, maybe we'll be so distracted by our studies that we won't get much time to think and... And stuff, you know?" she said, looking at him hopefully.
James gave her a look as if to say—
Seriously?
Oh, right. Forgot who I was talking to. Like you could ever be distracted by studies.
"I can hear you, you know?" he said, scowling slightly.
She sighed.
This is going to be a long day.
She changed their night clothes into their school uniforms, remembering last night, when they had reached their Common Room. Lily had been so mortified upon realizing that her once sworn enemy could not access every single thought in her mind that she had been too terrified to sleep.
She didn't even remember when she finally did go to sleep.
Oh, it was nearly midnight, I think. You kept me awake all that time because of the constant buzzing of 'I won't think of anything' I could hear.
She scowled. "I didn't ask you."
He rolled his eyes.
She led the way out of the Portrait Hole after summoning their bags, with James in tow behind her.
Why does she have to swing her bottom like that? Doesn't she realize—
"Hold that thought right there, Potter," she said, completely red.
When James realized she had just heard his silent musing, his eyes widened so comically that Lily might have laughed, if she wasn't already feeling so mortified.
"Right. Yeah. You were right. This won't work. We need to find an antidote thingy for this," he all but rushed.
She narrowed her eyes.
"I'd like an answer first, you know. What don't I realize?"
James flushed uncomfortably.
"Hungry! My, I'm hungry. Famished, even. Aren't you hungry? Yeah? We're all hungry. Let's just go have breakfast, yeah?"
"Potter," she started threateningly, but he had already started walking very briskly towards the Great Hall.
"I hope you realize that given our current situation you can't really get rid of me, you know," she muttered wryly.
"Who's trying to get rid of you?" he laughed nervously. He looked over his shoulder. "I'm just—crap!"
Before Lily had time to diagnose this change in his behavior, he had promptly started running foward, only stopping when they reached a sort of alcove.
Yeah.
Then he ran head-on towards the wall on their right.
That's right.
Towards a wall.
Straight, without stopping and wondering that he could possibly damage the remaining meager amount of brain cells left in his head kind of running.
Any second now, she was going to be flattened like a piece of parchment.
She closed her eyes and prepared to scream during the oncoming collision but felt... nothing.
They had stopped. He was obviously breathing laboriously, though perhaps in a more dignified manner than her.
She hadn't felt the impact that would crush her to pulp.
She opened her eyes slowly.
They were in a cave-like place, with no lighting, which was obviously too small. It was like a small depression in an otherwise normal wall, as it hid them from passerby's view. It was meant for perhaps only a single person, considering she was pressed flush against his body, and her back pressed a little painfully into the wall.
His admittedly well toned, muscular bo— Shut up, Evans!
Nah, Lily, don't. I'm rather enjoying this little heart to heart we're having here.
Positive that she resembled a mashed tomato by now, she lifted her head in horror, only to see him smirking down at her.
"I... I—I wasn't ta—talking—thinking about y—you," she stuttered lamely.
His smirk only broadened.
"Oh, shut up."
He pressed her even more into the wall, his face coming dangerously close to her own.
"James," she whispered, her voice sounding husky. "Wha— What are you—"
"Shh." He was too close, now. Much too close. She could see his eyes properly, all those tiny flecks of green, brown and so many more shades dancing around in his hazel orbs. "I think I can hear Filch."
And he was right. She could hear his distinct mutterings somewhere not far away from where they stood.
"It's—it's only time for breakfast right now. It's not like we're—" He leaned in more towards her and she forgot what she was saying altogether. She closed her eyes, trying to focus. "We aren't breaking any rule, right—"
He leaned in so close now that she was sure that if she opened her mouth, it would brush against his.
"Technically we are," he said, sounding slightly out of breath. "We woke up late so I steered us through a secret passage after running a while, y—you know? I didn't even realize it at first, but Filch always checks around the secret passages at this hour so I had to hide—"
"Shh!" It was Lily to hushed him this time. "I think he's—he's closer now."
Sure enough, they could hear muffled footsteps that were undeniable heading were they were standing.
"Shit," Lily whisper-swore as best as she could. "I'm going to get another detention. This is bad. Very bad. What kind of a Head Girl am I? I can't belie—"
Nothing could have possibly shut her up right now except for the feel of a pair of warm, soft lips on hers.
His lips.
Oh, Merlin.
"He might hear you, you know," he muttered as his lips moved feverishly against hers. "You need to stop talking."
And then, Merlin damn her, before she could process what was happening and what she was doing, she had done the unthinkable.
Despite her mind screaming at her otherwise, her body betrayed her.
She felt her lips starting to move against his warm ones.
She was kissing him back.
I'm kissing bloody James Potter back.
Might have established that a little early—
"Anything here, my sweet?"
James pressed himself even more into Lily, if that was even possible. His free hand, which was at first angling her face to give him the best possible way of exploring her mouth, went around her waist, pushing her more into him and subsequently pushing both of them more snugly against the wall.
"James—" she rasped.
"Hmm?" He caressed her jaw, his thumb drawling slow, torturous circles on her soft cheek.
"I think he has gone."
And it was true. They could no longer hear the squib muttering sweet nothings to his beloved cat.
"But we don't know that for sure," he murmured, not releasing his hold on her, the hand joined to hers' tightening it's hold.
"We should make sure," she breathed, standing on her tiptoes to meet his lips again.
All sense of rationality having left her, she pressed herself more closely against him as she moved her lips rhythmically against his. His hand was running up and down her sides, as she sifted her own through his soft hair.
What am I doing I can't be kissing him right now I don't even like him for Merlin's sake what's wrong with me—
I can't believe I'm kissing Lily Evans right now and oh Merlin it's so much better than in my dreams and—
They missed each others' thoughts this time, though, as it occurred to them at the same time just what they were doing.
Their frenzied movements slowed gradually, until they were merely standing, his forehead on hers'.
"Think we got him off the scent, right?"
"Yeah," she hated her voice for coming out so throaty. "That's why we were doing this. To escape him."
"Yeah," he breathed, eyes closed.
"So it would be okay to go out now."
"Hmm."
"But he might come again."
"That can definitely happen."
"So," she sucked in a deep breath, chest heaving and falling with every word she said, "we should make absolutely sure—"
"Evans?" he groaned.
"Y—Yeah?"
"Shut up."
And with that be bent his head low to capture her lips again, moving them over hers' slowly, as though they had all the time in the world.
Needless to say, they didn't make it to breakfast that morning.
"Where are—"
"Sorry we're late, Professor. There was a First Year stuck in the trick step on the fourth floor, so we had to get him out and drop him off to Potions first," Lily said smoothly.
"That's alright, Miss Evans. If you and Mr. Potter could take a seat, we can begin," Professor Flitwick said, his eyes twinkling merrily.
James rolled his eyes as they made their way towards the front of the class.
Funny, he didn't seem to be the least bit fazed by this morning's events.
Lily had tried not to dwell too much on it, because that would involve thinking, and she was an over-thinker, and since her thoughts weren't exactly private now she didn't trust herself not to stray to territories that would most definitely lead to her embarrassing demise.
The two of them had come out of their hiding place only when they had heard the bell for their first class go off. Rushing out nonsense about how they were only trying to stay out of trouble and hadn't meant anything, the two had rushed for Charms, mutually deciding not to talk about what they had been doing the better half of the morning.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Act normal until the end of classes—
"Gah!"
She'd forgotten he could still hear everything that went through that sorry little head of hers.
"Are you alright, Miss Evans?" Professor Flitwick asked her, concerned.
The whole class was staring at her.
Apparently she's even forgotten that while speaking out loud, the entire human population could hear her.
"I—Um, well I—that is, yes. Yes, Professor, I'm fine."
Eloquent, Evans. Really.
You only used that against me last year, remember?
Great, so now you're going to distract me the entire class, aren't' you?
Are you kidding? We can talk as much as we bloody want and no one will even get to know. Do you think I'm going to let that pass?
James, please, this whole talking-in-our-heads thing is a little weird. I can't keep a straight face knowing that I'm... talking to you in my head and you're replying... in my head.
I think it's brilliant. I mean, its way better than passing notes. And, bloody hell, if I pull a straight face and you know, keep talking side by side, Flitwick might actually think I'm paying attention!
Yeah, that would be new, wouldn't it?
She wasn't sure how they could talk—think—think talk so casually after what had happened this morning, but she was glad that there wasn't any awkwardness between them. Hell, if they kept up like this, maybe she'd even forget they actually did that.
Stop mocking me.
And really, you didn't seem to find it so brilliant when you were checking out my behind, did you?
James reddened again.
Trust me, Evans, that's not the only thing I—
"Professor!" Lily's free hand went flying up in the air. "Could you please explain that again?"
Flitwick beamed, happy that someone was paying attention. James was smirking in his seat.
"Of course, Miss Evans. Now, a cheering charm can only induce happiness for a short period of time—"
She zoned out of that completely, having already known what they were studying. She just needed an excuse to get him to—
Shut up? You know that's not going to happen, Evans.
Dammit!
Language, Flower. He even clicked his tongue disapprovingly.
Huh!
The audacity.
She silently fumed in her seat.
She looks so cute when she's angry, all red and blotchy.
Thanks, Potter. Just what every girl wants to hear.
James blanched. How could he forget that she could hear every damn thing he was thinking after only two minutes of having a conversation with her in his mind?
He sighed.
This was going to take longer to adjust to than he had anticipated.
"So!" Professor Flitwick clapped his hands together happily. "Time for practical assessment! Pair up, all of you."
Lily turned towards James.
"Guess you'll only be on the suffering side, eh?"
"Stop gloating."
She coughed, and it sounded suspiciously like 'wand-less cripple'.
He rolled his eyes. "Real mature, Lily."
She raised her wand and pointed it at him.
"Beatus!"
His eyes clouded and his expression turned dazed and contended in an instant.
"Aha! Miss Evans has done it. Well done! Ten points to Gryffindor!"
Lily smiled, partly out of what Flitwick had just said, but mostly by looking at the happy look on James' face.
He looks kind of cute like this, all disoriented.
"Aversa pars," she said. His expression turned back to normal.
"Look cute, do I?" he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Only under the influence of spells, Potter. Nothing to be proud of."
"Oi, Lily!" Sirius was ambling towards them, dragging an irate Remus behind him. "Put one on him also, will you? Grouchy sod's ruining my mood as well."
"What's the matter, Remus?" Lily asked gently.
Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Nothing. So, what's going on with you guys?"
"Just sharing our thoughts, nothing else."
Remus visibly winced.
"Look, Lily, I would never do something like that and you know it. I don't even know what he was thinking—"
"Oh, that's rich. So now you're ratting me out?"
"We knew it was you, Sirius." Uh-oh. James never called him Sirius. "Anyone could have guessed whose brain was behind this deranged scheme."
Sirius narrowed his eyes. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Lily and James should have heard the other one professing their undying love for each other by now. But of course, this was James. Lily had probably heard some not so decent things till now.
The thought made him snicker.
Three pair of cold eyes turned towards him.
"Oh, stop it all of you. It was just a bit of fun."
"He was thinking about my behind!" Lily yelled outrageously.
"Well, you were thinking about my well-toned body!" James didn't sound as inflamed as he did smug.
Cocky prat.
Sirius and Remus both gaped.
At Lily.
That's right.
Not at their idiot of a best mate, no.
They stared at Lily.
"You know, James' was kind of obvious, I mean, I'm surprised it was only that, but—"
"Lily?" Remus probed.
"I was not thinking about him, I'll let you three dunderheads know. And class isn't over yet, you know. You two should head back," she said stonily.
She sat the two of them down again, refusing to meet his eye.
Across the room, Sirius and Remus sat down in wonder.
"You know, Padfoot" Remus began, "I was really doubting this stupid plan but... It seems like you did something right, for once."
Sirius only smirked.
Classes after that had been mostly uneventful, and Lily hoped it would remain that way until lunch.
Foolish of her, really.
She should have known that the Fates were against her.
After Charms, the Gryffindors had double period Transfiguration with Hufflepuff. Lily managed to turn her chair into a duck on her fourth attempt, with James' assistance.
Their last class before lunch was Defense Against The Dark Arts with Slytherin. It had been a practical lesson so Lily had to endure her partner, not so surprisingly, Evan Rosier.
It seemed like the world was conspiring against her.
"Long time no see, Evans?"
Lily decided she would deal with him later. First she had to make sure that James wouldn't kill him.
Don't get us in detention this time, Potter. I'll handle it.
Seething, he gave an imperceptible nod.
Lily looked at him and smiled sweetly.
Rosier seemed a bit thrown off by this, and this was exactly what she wanted.
"Petrificus Totalus!"
Stunned, Rosier body went completely rigid, landing smack on the floor. Lily lazily stowed her wand back inside her robes, deciding that she wouldn't revive him until after class ended.
After that she and James mostly just sat and did nothing. Only after class had ended, did someone bump into them and the two of them went spiraling down.
Of course, James just had to land conveniently on top of her.
Of course his lips had to be placed on top of hers' when she had no way (or will) to remove them from her person.
Eva smirked as she pushed past the crowd with her friends and the marauders, not looking back at the two.
Someone get his lips off m— mmh—
Vanilla and strawberry, mhmm, James thought giddily, as he deepened the kiss.
Lily could feel every inch of his body plastered on top of her own.
He was everywhere.
His tongue nudged her lower lip gently, seeking permission. She opened her mouth to him, forgetting who she was kissing as her tongue wrestled with his for dominance.
James groaned as her tongue swept across his bottom lip, before she started nibbling preciously at the aforementioned place.
They didn't make it that day for lunch either.
Lily's mind was working in overdrive, the thoughts coming and going at such a speed that James couldn't have processed them even if he wanted to.
She'd full on made out with her archenemy-turned-acquaintance-turned-sort of friend twice in the same day.
And they weren't even gong out.
She was a slag.
A horrible, dirty slag.
Oh, what would her mother say?
What the hell am I doing going around kissing him like this but he is an amazing kisser but that's not the point and I need to stop I need to stop I need to—
"Stop, Evans! I can't even understand what you're saying at this speed and it's giving me quite a headache."
"You're not supposed to understand, James. That's kind of the whole point."
"You'd think you might talk to someone you snogged better than—"
"We have to talk about that as well." She narrowed her eyes. "I don't know what the hell happened with me, James, but—Oh, wait!" Her eyes suddenly lit up with inspiration. "Maybe they put something in our drinks. I mean, maybe it's the side effect of whatever the hell they put that made us read each others' thoughts and everything, right?"
"Yeah," he mumbled quietly. "That—that could be it."
They were sitting on the couch in front of the fire in their Common Room. Classes after lunch time had been tolerable and ended before either of them knew it.
"We have rounds in a few minutes," Lily noted, trying to dispel the tension.
"Hmm," he agreed noncommittally.
He seemed lost in thought, which was funny, because she couldn't exactly hear what was going on in his mind.
Hmm.
She frowned, wishing she could muse silently without having to verbalize every thought of hers' that was so easily accessible to James.
"You just need a lot of patience for that, love," he smirked.
"Let's start with the rounds, shall we?" she asked stiffly.
James laughed openly at her, to which she scowled in good nature.
As they started with the rounds, Lily wondered how easily they could just ignore the fact that they had spent nearly half the day snogging each other, when they had only been forced to endure each others' company because their hands had been stuck together.
"Little objection here, love. I never had to endure you."
For a minute she was afraid she had offended him, but he smiled at her easily.
"Except for when you hexed me and yelled at me and threatened to throw me in the Black Lake or feed me to the nifflers, though that would have been a funny attempt—"
"I was thirteen!"
"And so creative."
"Honestly, Potter, shut it before I—"
"What? No quirky comments?"
"Potter, shut up!"
"Really, Lil, what's the—AH!"
She glared at him menacingly as he yelped. He glared right back.
"What?" he whispered irritably. "You pushed me into a wall."
"I seem to remember you doing the same to me this morning," she said, narrowing her eyes.
"Lily, that wall was permeable." She rolled her eyes. "You just pushed me into a solid, concrete wall."
"James, just shut up for a second. I think I heard—"
"—isn't safe to be discussing this in the open."
"You won't find any midgets out here at this time, Avery."
"Rosier?" James mouthed in disgust.
"Yeah," she replied solemnly. "I thought I'd heard his voice. Shit! We had to find out what they were planning today! Merlin, how could I forget? How could I have been so stupid—"
James covered her mouth, quickly getting into motion. Tucking away all strands of her red hair in her jumper and raising his hoodie above his own mop (silently thankful Lily had forced him to wear something for the chill earlier in the evening) he bent down and, for the third time in a singly day, captured the redhead's mouth with his own.
Gasping in complete surprise, Lily provided James with the opportunity to shove his tongue down her throat as she moaned breathlessly.
"What—What—?"
"They're coming this way," he managed in between kisses. "Had to make sure they wouldn't recognize us."
You find no other way of escaping peop—oh, god.
They won't suspect random people making out—bloody hell.
Lily didn't know what she was thinking. Well, she did, and her thoughts weren't exactly morally acceptable and she only hoped James was too busy to concentrate on the things going on in her mind.
But she needn't have worried. Trying to read her thoughts seemed to be the last thing on his mind right now, since he was already otherwise occupied.
"—but if the Dark Lord finds out—"
"Shut up, you blithering idiot. There's someone over here."
They could hear Avery snort in disgust. "Just some snogging couple. I doubt they;d be interested in what we have to say."
"But being a little more discreet won't kill you. In fact," Rosier paused thoughtfully, "being otherwise might just ensure that."
"Pack your sarcasm in a little bag and throw it out of this window, Rosier," Avery spat. "We need to start working on that project. You don't want to cross the deadline set by the Dark Lord, do you?"
"Could you keep it down with the names? Do you want to get suspended?"
They were walking away, their footsteps getting faint.
"Do you have your cloak, James?" Lily whispered, peeling her mouth, unwillingly, away from his.
James silently withdrew it from his robes and threw it over the two of them. They followed them at a distance, still slightly dazed.
"Better than getting killed," Avery said in disdain. "Now about those ingredients—"
"I dunno why we're bothering, Avery. Even if we do manage to get hold of those ingredients, that potion is a damn hard one to even hope to brew. And we can't fail. Not with such high gambles. We will have to ask Snape—"
"No! We have to prove ourselves. I refuse to accept his help."
"He's the best potion maker in our year, Avery. You should think about this. He could be really helpful."
"No, Rosier. And that's final. We have to try and nick the ingredients tomorrow. Because of the commotion the Ball will cause, now one bother being near the dungeons. It should be easy."
Rosier hummed in agreement and the two made their way towards their Common Room.
When he was sure they had gone out of earshot, James whipped the cloak off them.
They stared at each other, something akin to horror etched on their faces.
"What was that?" She wasn't sure why she was whispering, but the conversation they had just overheard and the... activities they had partaken in just moments ago had left her quite dazed.
"Voldemort," James muttered darkly. "Dad told me he had started circulated the Dark Lord thing to create fear amongst people."
"Well, it's obviously working. But—how—why—what? How is it even possible?" she stammered, her green eyes wide. "They're still students for Merlin's sake!"
"And right under Dumbledore's nose, whatever it is they are planning."
He looked more incredulous than alarmed.
"But they—they can't be involved with him. How can they be—?"
"I don't know," he said gravely, so unlike his usual self that she would have recoiled had it not been for her hand attached to his.
"And if they are, and they were considering getting help from Se—"
She broke off, unable to continue.
James' face hardened immediately.
"Lily," he started carefully, "I know he was your... mate. But—"
"I'm well aware of what he has become, James. You don't need to remind me, it's just... I still think of him as the pale boy I knew from back home, sometimes. And it's painful, because he's not the same anymore and I'm not the same anymore and I just... He used to get beat up, did you know that?" she asked suddenly, breaking off from her train of thoughts.
James looked surprised.
"I—no, I didn't."
"His father," she said as way of explanation. "Almost everyday. I used to feel so bad for him. And when he told me about Hogwarts, I—" She closed her eyes in anguish. "I wanted to help him. He wore this overcoat and what looked like his mother's old blouse and I just... I felt like I could help him, you know? Once we came to Hogwarts, I thought I might be able to—"
She broke off, uttering a wry sort of laugh.
"Guess it was all useless, yeah? Some people just have their paths written down for them. I still feel like I failed—"
"Lily, don't go there," James interrupted her sternly. "You know none of this was your fault. Hell, if anyone is to blame it's me—"
And he hated it. Hated saying it. Hated the words coming out of his mouth. Because he knew they were true.
"No, James," she sighed. "It wasn't your fault. You might have goaded him on, but it was just who he was. If he was any different, he wouldn't have gone running to people who wanted to kill muggleborns and muggles. If he really valued my friendship, he would not have done what he did, no matter what the provocation or from whom."
He remained silent at that, and she smiled sadly.
"You can still try, you know," he offered quietly, stomach churning in dislike at the very thought but knowing it was important for Lily.
"Thank you."
"What for?"
"For what you just said. No, thought."
He smirked slightly.
"I keep forgetting you can hear me."
"And I keep forgetting how quickly we can change subjects."
He chuckled.
"Which one do you want to discuss first, then? My reluctant and probably useless advice about certain greasy haired people or the most probably shit serious problem about those two gits?"
Lily's face turned solemn.
"What will we do, James?"
He sighed. "Honestly? I have no bloody idea. We could tell Professor Dumbledore—"
"But I think it would be better to try and catch them red-handed—"
James looked annoyed, opening his mouth furiously but she cut across him.
"No, listen. Telling someone, anyone, might alert them. If they found out from anywhere that they've been found out then they'll obviously put a stop to whatever they're planning. Think about it, James. We can put an end to it, but we can find out what they're planning, and wouldn't that be better in the whole run of things?"
James scowled. "Then I will ask someone else to tail them. I've told you already, I don't want you near them."
Lily's eyes hardened. "I'm not some little kid, James."
"I'm well aware of that, Lily, but those two know some seriously dark magic and it's not safe."
"And if we can stop it then we will be ensuring the safety of the general school body, so please think of the bigger picture."
"Lily—"
"You're going to be right next to me, James, so why are you even worrying?"
"As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I'm currently incapacitated and my wand arm's completely useless. How am I supposed to protect you like this?"
"By believing in me." She looked hard at him. "And by having some faith in me. I have dealt with nasty Slytherin's before and I will deal with them now. But we need to find out what they're up to."
James sighed.
"But we will remain under the cloak. And we will have to tell Sirius and the rest, of course. We're waltzing anywhere without backup."
Lily smiled.
"Done."
"Good. Now let's finish the rounds and be done with the stupid meeting after, yeah?"
"Decorations?"
"All adorned."
"Music?"
"Check."
"Confirmed with our guest of honor?"
"Done."
"Food?"
James grinned.
"Only the finest delicacies that the house elves will ever prepare."
"I'll let you be the judge," Lily muttered dryly. "Okay, so are we all set for tomorrow?"
There were a few cheers around the room. Well, they had worked hard, after all.
That we have. Merlin, I can't wait for all this to finally be over.
Excited about going back home, are you?
You bet. Dad's going to be there for Christmas this time. For the entire holiday.
He... Isn't he always?
No, he was always away on some mission. Hardly ever saw him. But he retired this year, and though he still helps out, he'll be able to stay over with us and celebrate.
That is amazing, James.
He smiled at her.
"Uh," a timid fifth year prefect from Ravenclaw raised her hand, and only then did they notice the weird looks they were receiving from the other prefects.
"Why are you two just looking at each other like that?"
Lily and James reddened, though James' eyes were twinkling. Remus smirked inwardly.
"Nothing," Lily said. "Okay, so if we're all set then you lot can head back towards your dorms. Thank you all for your continued support and all that... You're dismissed."
A few laughs passed around as everyone shuffled our of the Heads' Common Room, muttering their goodbyes.
Remus stayed put by his place near the shelves.
"What have you two been doing today?"
"What do you mean?" Lily asked quickly.
Really subtle.
It never was particularly your best talent.
Thank you, Potter. She rolled her eyes for good measure.
"Um, just that I want to know how you day was?" Remus put on a look of confusion, inwardly congratulating himself on his brilliant performance.
"It was just the same. Same as in, like all other days, you know? Same old, same boring. Nothing exciting or out of the ordinary. Life's pretty boring."
Remus raised his eyebrows.
"Is something the matter, Lily?"
No, just trying to ignore about half of my day when I'd been doing exactly what I shouldn't have been doing.
"No, everything's good," she smiled.
"Okay," he said slowly, noticing the slight frown James was directing, almost unconsciously, in Lily's direction. "Well, I'll leave you two to it. See you at dinner?"
"Yeah sure, Moony."
Remus walked towards the portrait hole, casting one last odd look at the silent pair. As he left, he wondered if Sirius' daft plan was working after all.
"So," James started, "what do you want to do?"
"Nothing, really. I'm tired." This she accentuated by a yawn.
"Long day, yeah?"
She looked at him.
"Yeah."
"Right."
"What are they doing?" Sirius asked, glancing towards the entrance of the Great Hall as if expecting his two friends to come tumbling in any moment.
"Damn me if I know," Eva muttered crossly. "I haven't seen her all day!"
"Well, I just left them in their Common Room and they seemed... preoccupied."
"You mean," Sirius smirked and started, but he cut him off.
"No, not like that you git," Remus rolled his eyes. "Lily seemed sort of disoriented and Prongs seemed a bit unusual. Something's probably going on with them."
"Guys," Mary started hesitantly, "do you—do you think that perhaps sticking the two of them together wasn't the best idea? I mean, they have had their differences for such a long time, how can we expect them to adjust to... each other, so soon?"
"No," Sirius said plainly.
About five people rolled their eyes.
"You people aren't thinking about the bigger picture. Those two would never have been able to get past their history if we hadn't forced them together. James' too afraid to try and break his fragile friendship with her and Lily's too stubborn to accept the fact that he has changed and that there can be something between the two of them—as it should be."
There was silence for a couple of minutes before Isabella spoke.
"Wow, Sirius, I don't believe that just came out of your mouth."
He grinned lazily.
"And of course, she just doesn't realize how horribly adorable their children would be, in al their messy hair and green eyes glory."
"Yeah," Remus quipped, "now I can believe it was he who said that."
Everyone laughed.
"Still," Peter pipped up after a few moments, "what will we do about them? I mean, I haven't seen them during any of the meals and—"
"And we all know Prongs eats like a starving chimera," Sirius finished solemnly. "Which means that they really are preoccupied."
"How about we head back towards their place after dinner and check up on them?" Eva asked.
"No, I think we should leave them be," Remus wrinkled his nose, "at least for tonight."
"He's right, of course," Sirius said cheerfully. "Now who wants to hear my plan for tomorrow?"
He hadn't even finished speaking before there were loud groans of protest.
"Not again, Padfoot, please. I fail to understand how you haven't realized by now that your plans mostly always end up getting the two of them in trouble."
"Oh, lighten up. It's the last phase of the whole operation, and hopefully the most effective one as well."
"I don't know why I'm not so sure about that."
"Was that sarcasm I heard, Moony?"
"Well done, Padfoot. At least you can tell, now."
"You're smart."
"Wish I could say the same for you."
"Oh, quit it with that alrea—"
"You're going to carry out with the most likely daft plan you've come up with despite what we say, aren't you?" Isa asked, rubbing her temples wearily.
Sirius grinned.
'Of course I am. I can't believe this is the last time I'll get to say this. Now who wants to hear it?"
"James, I—"
"Lily, I—"
They both laughed, albeit a little awkwardly.
"You go first," Lily offered.
"No no, you can start."
"No, really, it's quite alright."
"Fine, I—" he hesitated, "are we going to talk about what happened today?"
"About Rosier and Avery?" Lily asked.
"Don't play daft, Lily."
She grimaced.
"Well, what's there to talk about? We only did—that—because we had to."
"Three times."
"And it was a matter of life or death during those three."
James raised his eyebrows.
"What? It was! Honestly, I think we're dwelling too much on this."
"We have been avoiding this since it first happened," James pointed out.
Lily scowled, irritated that he kept pressing.
"Ignorance is bliss."
"I'd rather embrace awareness."
"Well, go find someone else to embrace."
James rolled his eyes. "We can handle this in a mature way."
I wonder if he even knows how to spell the word.
I can hear you, you know? Like I said—
"Ugh! Just talk, please. Stop thinking."
"You started it."
"I'd forgotten you were like a parasite plant stuck in my head."
"Honestly, Lily—"
"Would you like to go for dinner?" she asked stiffly.
He sighed, knowing they would get nowhere by fighting about that right now.
"Alright. We've missed two meals as it is."
Lily got up, pulling him along with her and started towards the portrait hole.
Hmm, what was it about her and the Fates, again?
Totally against her, they were.
As her shoelace got caught up with the corner of the rug and she slipped towards the ground, she had absolutely no doubt about that.
As they fell, she cursed gravity, karma, luck and any other such thing came to her mind.
And of course James had to land right on top of her. Of course his lips were supposed to be placed smack on top of hers.
It might have been an innocent mistake on her part, but James seemed determined to exploit it as much as he could. Without even a second's surprise, his lips had started moving against her own, nudging them open, his kisses seeming harder than the previous ones.
She moaned as his tongue finally entered her mouth, eyes fluttering shut as she started to match his frenzied sync. She'd long ago (long time back today, that is) stopped questioning why she responded to him the way she did, because she never did find an answer to that.
But, she realized after a few moments, she wasn't really doing anything. Her lips seemed to have a mind of their own, moving against his on their own.
As he ran his tongue across her bottom lip, she shivered, angling her face sideways to get better access. He seemed to like their new position as he grunted in appreciation.
His free hand moved to her face, supping her jaw, her cheeks, running his thumb along her neck. As he moved away from her to let them both get some air, his lips started trailing wet kisses along her jaw line.
Lily was breathing heavily. She knew they had no excuse this time. It had happened.
And she had let it.
There was no going back now.
He started moving towards her lips again. She closed her eyes and decided to push it out of her mind and think about it tomorrow.
As his lips met hers again, she sighed.
And finally, that night they couldn't make it to dinner either.
They were lying in their sleeping bags, facing each other but not quite looking. Lily's eyes were closed and James was watching their clasped hands intently, as if it held all the answers to his problems.
Lily was once again, like the previous night, chanting I will not think anything in her mind.
James seemed too preoccupied to comment on that, frowning thoughtfully.
After what had seemed like several days, the two had gotten up from the floor, dusted themselves off, conjured their sleeping bags and changed their clothes, doing everything to avoid the inevitable conversation that they both knew they needed to have.
James, because of fear, and Lily, surprisingly, because of the same, though their reasons were quite different.
If only you realized, Lily.
Lily pretended she was asleep, forcing her mind shut.
She heard him sigh (wistfully?) and waited until she heard his breathing get more even. When she finally heard his soft snore, and opened her eyes to see him peacefully asleep... only then did she allow her mind to wander.
No matter what she had told herself earlier, being so close to him today had befuddled her senses completely. She didn't know what to think anymore. Once sure that she loathed him, she now wondered how they had gotten to where they were right now.
She didn't hate him, of course. They'd even been friends ever since Christmas last year. But her relationship with him wasn't so easy. It never had been. And it probably never would.
But, she she drifted off to sleep, she wondered why she didn't seem to mind it anymore.
I think I do, James.
A/N: You know, I just realized that in a few years I'd probably look at this and laugh. Oh, wait, maybe I'll do that even now. -_-
I'm really really sorry, you guys. I know it's been months but I only started writing day before and, well, here it is.
Tell me what you think, if you can spare a minute. :) And there's no point putting this on alert if you can't, because without feedback, no one is really motivated to write. So if you can tell me what you think of it, I'll be really glad.
Cheers,
RainHolly
