I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish you could be the one I die with
"Hello?"
"Where are you?"
"Luke? Can you hear me?" I put my free hand up to my ear, thinking it would help block out the noise.
"GO OUTSIDE."
"Is that Lucas? Tell him he needs to be a man and come move down here to be with you so you can be happy." Haley took the phone from my hands and kinda told my boyfriend off; I guess that's what happens when she drinks too much. I told Haley that I would be right back and I made my way outside onto the porch so I can actually hear Lucas clearly.
"Sorry about that…"
"Where are you?"
"It's Nathan's birthday so they had a bunch of friends over for a party and they're all drinking and screaming, and what not. So I'm here on baby duty for the night and from the way it's going, I'll be watching her all morning too."
"Oh, Haley's comment makes a lot of sense then."
"You heard that?"
"Loud and clear."
"I'm sorry baby, that's just the alcohol talking. Don't listen to her, I'm happy…really."
"Promise?"
"I swear it…so what are you up to tonight my Broody boy?"
"Nothing really…got back from watching some of the game with the guys and I figured why not give you a call cause you were probably not busy."
"I'm never to busy for you…how was the game?"
"It was good, we won."
"Yay!"
"So how have you been?"
"School's much harder than I thought it would be."
"Oh…does that not mean you can take off this weekend and we can do Valentine's Day together…in the same place."
"I wish I could Luke, but I have two papers and an exam Monday and Tuesday." A tiny white lie, I already planned a surprise weekend for him.
"Oh. I was going to plan a nice dinner for us and by the end of the night sit curled up in front of the fire place…I miss you so much." I could tell there was so much disappointment in his tone; maybe this lie wasn't a good idea.
"I'm sorry babe. I miss you too, but if I could you know I would…" Little did I know, Haley slipped out at this point and heard the rest of the conversation.
"I know…I want you to do good in school, but the other part of me is selfish and wants you here with me."
"Hey…if I could, I'd be with you by your side in a heart beat. We can just Skype and have our own special Valentine's Day dinner. How's that sound?"
"Better than nothing…go, I don't want to keep you from your party."
"I don't mind…I rather be talking to you any day."
"It's ok…just text me later or something." Lucas's voice starting picking up and sounding happier, but that didn't stop my heart from longing and wanting to see him; a few stray tears came down my cheek.
"I love you, so much."
"I love you too…" I put my phone back into my back pocket and let out a stressed breath.
"Everything ok with Lucas?" Now Haley decided to speak up. I turned around saw her, and motioned for her to come closer. She leaned up against the railing so she was facing me.
"Ya, I guess…just the distance is getting to us that's all."
"I thought you said you where going up there this weekend?"
"I am…as a surprise. He doesn't know that so he's upset and disappointed, which in turn that makes me upset."
"Did he hear what I said?"
"Ya, he did…lovely way to start off a conversation." I said with a bit of sarcasm.
"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said anything; its not my place. Do you want me to call him and apologize?"
"I know…no it's ok I explained it to him."
"I'm probably out of line by saying this, but it's not ok B. Every time I see you, you have this look in your eyes and I can tell you miss him so much. Your words may not say it when you talk to him and you try to be strong, but it's written all over your face."
"You're never out of line…I know, it's just so hard. I don't know what to do anymore. I finally made the decision to go back to school, and now I feel like even though that's good for me…my heart is hurting and missing him so much that I'm thinking about really giving it all up and leaving to be with him."
"No…you just started to further your education, you can't do that to yourself."
"I don't know what else to do Hales." I started crying, this was the internal battle I've had with myself everyday for the past month.
"In the past year, you've been putting everyone else's needs before yours. You dropped everything to help when you found out about the baby and throughout the entire pregnancy. You are always willing to help out for extra hours at work. I know Rachel is so thankful for that. And Nate and I are and will always be thankful for all the help you did the past year, but it's time to put yourself first. I know you love Lucas, but if he loves you as much as you love him, he's still going to be there after you finish school. You guys will be ok and make it through until then."
"Thanks for the pep talk Hales." I said, the tears slowly stopping.
"Hey, come here…" we embraced in a hug. "that's what I'm hear for. Now, lets go back to the party."
"Go ahead…I'll be there in a minute."
"You ok?"
"Ya, just want to collect myself before I go back inside."
"Ok, just let me leave you with this…you're a good person who cares for everyone in your life at the drop of a hat, totally disregarding you're life and you're needs. Now it's time for you to let people to do that for you. We all love you Tig and just want to see you happy."
